Conflicting Thoughts

[SilverFox]

Hi everyone. I have lurked for a month or so and thought I would open up a little. I'm all over the map with this, so I guess I came here more out of satisfying my curiosities than anything else.

I'm addicted to visual stimuli and masturbate way too often for a mid 50's male. I have told my wife about this, but I really don't think she understands. Something inside me is telling me that I could accomplish more things if I wasn't masturbating all the time. There are things that I would like to do with the rest of my life, but the addiction gets in the way.

The conflict comes from the fantasy aspect. I have fantasized and even written some fiction about being surgically castrated. My fiction is always first person point of view. There exists this fascination about having them removed.

So, here I am. To find out as much as I can and perhaps one day put it to rest.

[Paolo]

Welcome to the zoo.

[SplitDik]

Originally Posted by SilverFox

Hi everyone. I have lurked for a month or so and thought I would open up a little. I'm all over the map with this, so I guess I came here more out of satisfying my curiosities than anything else.

I'm addicted to visual stimuli and masturbate way too often for a mid 50's male. I have told my wife about this, but I really don't think she understands. Something inside me is telling me that I could accomplish more things if I wasn't masturbating all the time. There are things that I would like to do with the rest of my life, but the addiction gets in the way.

The conflict comes from the fantasy aspect. I have fantasized and even written some fiction about being surgically castrated. My fiction is always first person point of view. There exists this fascination about having them removed.

So, here I am. To find out as much as I can and perhaps one day put it to rest.

I suffered from severe sex addiction most of my life, leading me toward castration and self-mutilation of the genitals as an attempt to free myself from the urges.

Ultimately, I have found that some anti-depressants (Celexa) have a side effect of reducing libido at the same time they also help with compulsivity. With Celexa I went from 10 orgasms a day to about 1 a week -- a much healthier level of sexuality.

You might want to try similar medication -- see a psychiatrist or some general practicioners might prescribe it.

Now I'm actually using a hormonal method -- an estrogen suppressor called Tamoxifen. It helps a lot and doesn't make me feel too medicated. Surprisingly suppressing the estrogen helps a lot even though I'm a guy. I did not want to suppress testosterone because I like being a guy and want to retain my athleticism and also bone density, etc. So Tamoxifen might be worthwhile getting hold of. Note that you should only use it, and not other estrogen suppressors like Femara, because only Tamoxifen suppresses estrogen while retaining bone density.

[IbPervert]

I can confirm that anti-depressants do suppress ones libido.

[SilverFox]

Thanks for the welcome responses. I'm not into the self mutilation, and I don't think I am depressed. But that's just me.

For me, I think surgical castration is the answer. I think I have just taken a sort of first step on a very long road.

Sincerely
SF

[SilverFox]

I've just read A Warning to Others

Not knowing a better place to post my thoughts (maybe I will start a blog) I'm still a little shaky and green.

As a boy I watched and eventually participated in castrating many farm animals. I used an elastrator on calves and a razor on pigs. Someone brought up in a thread I was reading the many reasons an elastrator is a bad idea for humans, not least among them the fresh air and differences in cord elasticity.

Still, I think those years may be the beginning of my thought process. I may never get cut, but I'm still here. My goal has not changed.