This is the eighth chapter of the autobiography of Bicilus, reputedly transcribed from the original Latin parchments and passed down through time until this version was discovered, translated and adapted for publication. Here he tells yet more of his early days as a freshly gelded young eunuch in his new home and of some interesting happenings elsewhere in Ancient Rome and the city’s vast Empire.
NERO
By Pueros
Chapter VIII – Lessons
(Domus of Palaemon, Rome, in August of the 5th year of the reign of the Emperor Claudius [AD 46])
‘Now his studies must be carried farther afield, and we must look for a tutor in Latin rhetoric whose school shall combine a strict training along with good manners and, above all, moral standards; for, as our boy happens to be endowed with striking physical beauty among his natural gifts, at this dangerous time of life he needs more than a teacher. A guardian and mentor must be found ....’
Pliny the Younger (Letter 3.3)
“Welcome to my home, Gaius Musonius Rufus,” the friendly white-haired man greeted the youth from Volsinii with formality. “Thank you, Quintus Remmius Palaemon,” the beautiful 16 year-old, with sensuous hazel eyes and short silky reddish-brown hair, replied with equal protocol.
Perhaps I should take a little time here to elucidate, for any readers unfamiliar with Latin nomenclature, how typical Roman male names are formed. They comprise three main parts, the praenomen, nomen and cognomen. Sometimes additional cognomena, called ‘agnomena’, are added. For female names, the convention is similar but with a few minor differences.
The praenomen is the male forename, assigned from a very short fixed list of less than thirty, of which just fifteen or so are commonly used, with only two or three of these utilised by particular families. For example, most boys of the Julius clan were either Gaius or Sextus, hence Gaius Julius Caesar.
The praenomena are awarded at birth and are generally abbreviated in inscriptions to one or two characters, for example A. = Aulus, C.=Gaius, Cn.=Gnaeus, D.=Decimus, L.=Lucius, M.=Marcus, P.=Publius, Q.=Quintus, T.=Titus and Ti.=Tiberius. The letter ‘C’ is still traditionally used for Gaius and Gnaeus because there was no letter ‘G’ in Latin when the abbreviations were first formulated.
The nomen is the name of the gens, or family clan. The cognomen is the more personal differentiating name of the individual, frequently passed from father to son, and any agnomena are usually further distinguishing nicknames.
Cognomina are often derived from personal attributes, good or bad, or family occupations or places of origin. Thus, Crispus = curly, Longus = tall, Niger = black, or dark-complexioned or dark-haired, Rufus = red-haired, Flaccus = flabby, Strabo = cross-eyed, Caepio = onion-vender, Faber = fabricating craftsman, et cetera. Some are awarded by the Senate in honour of achievement, such as the title of Augustus referred to in my previous chapter.
Roman males are known by their praenomena to their families and close friends. However, the limited choice means that, in an extended clan, there might be many men and boys with exactly the same praenomen and nomen. At least some help in distinguishing between one and another is provided by the cognomena.
Outside their most intimate circles, Roman males are commonly informally referred to either by their full name or some combination of praenomen, nomen and cognomen. Quintus Remmius Palaemon was frequently just Palaemon to others, whereas Gaius Musonius Rufus was often only Musonius Rufus. I shall therefore follow these conventions in my saga for the moment, although later I shall call the youth ‘Gaius’, an intimacy permitted by the very close relationship we would develop.
Palaemon had definitely not been the first choice of Musonius Rufus’ parents to round off their son’s education with lessons in philosophy, rhetoric and law. However, their inflexibly resolved offspring was determined to have this teacher and no other and, as usual, the doting mother and father were unable to deny the youth what he yearned for.
Musonius Rufus was unconcerned about Palaemon’s notorious and well-deserved notoriety for leading a dissolute life, a scenario that had drawn Imperial criticism from both Tiberius and Claudius. Nor was the youth worried about the fact that the teacher had been born a slave and, after gaining his freedom, had earned a living in the lowly clothing trade. For many patricians, the tutor had later compounded these initial background faults. After achieving great success as an educator, he had still maintained an interest in the garment industry, through ownership of manufacturing and retail establishments, and was known for conducting, very astutely and profitably, other commerce, such as the operation of vineyards. However, the equestrian class, itself comprised mainly of very successful businessmen, was less fussy and members sent their sons in droves to the man’s schools from all over the Empire.
Musonius Rufus, the appropriateness of his cognomen visibly displayed by his hair colour, was more interested in Palaemon’s reputation as being one of the best and most enlightened teachers of his age. Ever since the youth had become aware, from scrolled papyrus copies, of the teacher’s handbook on Latin grammar and other learned and reforming works, he had been determined to attend his schools, which reputedly earned the man the massive annual sum of 400,000 sestertii.
Nevertheless, initial parental opposition had meant that Musonius Rufus had had to wait until he attained the toga virilis and therefore manhood before travelling to Rome, thereby missing out on the excellent educational foundation provided by Palaemon’s elementary and middle schools. The renowned teacher actually now conducted few lessons in these establishments himself, preferring to leave them respectively to litteratori and grammatici hired or purchased for the purpose, whilst concentrating himself on the upper grouping for which the youth from Volsinii was destined. However, the other tutors, many of whom were slaves, had been carefully chosen and trained to ensure the maintenance of the highest standards, not that a certain pair of young boys would have currently agreed with such an assessment.
(A grammaticus of Palaemon, plebeian quarter, Rome, same time)
‘What have you to do with me, cursed schoolmaster, creature hateful to boys and girls? The crested cocks have not yet broken silence and already you make a din with your savage roaring and your thwacks.’
- Martial (9.68)
“Assume the usual positions,” the grammaticus commanded of the 12 year-olds, whom he had caught arguing violently yet again. The boys, called in the school Persius and Quintilianus, reluctantly complied, standing up from the bench they shared to place their hands instead of their bottoms on the old shiny wooden surface, bending over to do so and therefore presenting their pert posteriors nicely for imminent chastisement. Their teacher then picked up his rod, or ferula, and lifted the hems of the young miscreant’s expensive but light summer tunics onto their lower backs to expose their underwear.
The grammaticus had recently given up punishing these particular boys’ palms with the old but sturdy implement, which had rained many painful blows across young male flesh over the years. The teacher believed that sterner chastisement was now both deserved and needed. The imminent victims of his displeasure were therefore soon experiencing the feel of the man’s hand as he fiddled with their undergarments, simple, wrapped loincloths, or ‘subligacula’, literally meaning ‘little bindings underneath’.
Giggles could be heard from the other pupils in the school, which catered exclusively for males in the 11 to 16 age group, as two sets of agreeably lustrous young bare backsides came into view when the loincloths eventually succumbed to gravity and fell to the floor. From certain angles, two pleasantly proportioned hairless cocks, incongruously rapidly becoming hard, and actually quivering even more than the pretty bodies that sported them, could also be perceived.
The grammaticus had refused to take the easy option of separating Persius and Quintilianus, who clearly disliked each other, from their bench to relocate them well apart elsewhere in the classroom. After all, part of the education he was trying to deliver included the ability to live amicably with others, even those to whom you have an aversion. The teacher was therefore more than happy to issue regular chastisement until the lesson was thoroughly learnt.
The first to receive the latest painful instruction was Persius. The boy squealed as the rod was laid across his bare bottom with expert precision, both in terms of position and strength, the deliverer having gained much practice at the art. The 12 year-old had tried to refrain from issuing such an agonised noise in front of the many spectators, which included not only fellow pupils but also passers-by who were strolling along the narrow street in which the school was located, occupying an open-fronted building originally designed for retail purposes. However, the pain was such that his attempt to exhibit some courage and decorum was frustrated, and his humiliation was made worse by the lachrymose droplets that began to flow from his lovely eyes, as a further three hits reached their target. In fact, his only consolation was the later sight of Quintilianus subsequently suffering similar anguish and shame.
Afterwards, after re-applying their underwear to their hurt loins, the boys, who were newcomers both to the school and to Rome, very gingerly and with difficulty resumed their sitting positions whilst lessons continued. They did so with particularly annoying and humiliating verbal abuse resounding in their ears, issued by a group of filthy young street urchins who had been amongst the laughing external spectators.
Persius and Quintilianus had been sent by rich equestrian parents to the capital for their middle education, the 12 year-olds originating respectively from Volaterrae in Etruria and Calagurris on the river Ebro in Hispania. Neither could reason why they had taken an instant disliking to each other, an attitude of mutual antipathy that had cost their rears dear since the recent start of the school year after the usual summer break. Fortunately for both their bottoms and the later quality of their existence as pupils of Palaemon, someone was about to enter their lives who would quickly encourage them to review their stances.
(Imperial palace, Rome, same time)
‘O Zeus, why did you allow women to live in the light of the sun and plague mankind with their counterfeit looks? If you wished to propagate the race of men, it wasn’t from women you should have provided this. No, men ought to enter your temples and there purchase children at valuation, each at its appropriate price, depositing in exchange bronze or iron or weight of gold, and then live in freedom in their homes without women.’
- Euripides ( ‘Hippolytus’)
It had been a distressing last half-hour for Messalina. She had had to endure the loathsome experience of allowing her husband to make rare love to her. However, as she wiped the man’s spilt spittle from her face and his extraneous semen from her vaginal hair, the beautiful 23 year-old Empress knew that the ordeal had proved worthwhile.
Messalina now tried to avoid Claudius’ company as much as possible and only used her invariably successful seductive charms on him when she wanted something. She had slowly but surely, ever since her husband’s sudden unexpected but nevertheless very welcome installation to the purple 5 ½ years previously, been using her influence to try to eliminate anyone who gave cause for her to worry about her son’s eventual succession to the Principate. After all, the Emperor, now in his mid-fifties, was an old man who showed his age and might not live much longer.
For Messalina, it was essential that Britannicus succeeded his father so that she could not only survive the transfer of power but also continue to prosper. She had occasionally indulged the fancy of poisoning Claudius to precipitate the 5 year-old’s accession, believing that she would effectively be in charge of the Empire herself during her son’s minority. However, the Empress had so far stayed her hand for two reasons.
First, Messalina was lazy and wanted to spend as much of her time as possible in promiscuous activity. She therefore needed a male partner-in-crime who could proficiently oversee the dreary business of actually running the Imperial administration, and she had not yet satisfied herself as to who would be best. The man would need to be very carefully chosen because he would have to be both capable and trusted not to use his position to usurp the Principate himself.
Second, Messalina was not yet content that her situation, and that of her son, was sufficiently strong to permit an unchallenged transition of power. She had engendered many potentially powerful enemies and there were a number of others who could suggest that they had as good a claim to the purple as Britannicus. Such people were particularly dangerous if they combined both these attributes with adulthood.
Messalina had therefore concluded that she could wait for a better time to dispose of her annoying husband, if this eventually proved desirable. The delay would have the benefit of allowing time both for her son to mature a little and for the elimination of any rivals who might be foolish enough to make themselves vulnerable. The Empress could also try to consolidate her influence elsewhere, most importantly and significantly, having learnt lessons from the past, not in the Senate but with the Praetorians.
Augustus had founded the Praetorians as an Imperial bodyguard. They are an elite force of 4800 men, with distinctive uniforms and superior rates of pay to others in the military. They also have the privilege of being required to serve only 16 years, instead of the usual 25 of ordinary legionaries, before being allowed to retire with full honours and benefits.
The Praetorians, led by Prefects, are stationed in barracks at the edge of Rome and towns throughout Italia, where no other troops are allowed to be, other legions being confined to external provinces. As long as the guards remain loyal to the Emperor, his position is strong.
The Praetorians guard the Princeps on his trips to the Senate, to games and to other destinations within Rome and elsewhere. As we shall see later in my saga, they are also used to keep civic order and to punish those who have earned the wrath of their Imperial master or his authorised appointees. However, as Messalina well knew, particularly from her husband’s own example, the soldiers’ greatest influence on state affairs could follow the death of an Emperor, for their preferred candidate for the succession had a flying start in securing the purple. Nevertheless, as my life’s experiences, recorded in this autobiography, will additionally show, their choice also needs the acceptance of the wider army to survive in the post for long.
Messalina aimed to place her own candidates in the most important Praetorian Prefect positions, men who relied solely on her for their prominent roles. However, she knew that she would have to do so discreetly over time to avoid any suspicion from her husband and his other confidants about what she was up to.
Messalina’s sufferance of Claudius’ highly inept and disagreeable, but nonetheless very eager, lovemaking was partly in this cause, because she wanted to advocate a certain name for a senior Praetorian vacancy that had just arisen. However, the disagreeable half-hour had an additional and, as it turned out, successful aim, which was to cost one of the guests at Caius Silius’ recent banquet very dear.
Messalina had, for some time, been trying to poison not her husband’s body but his mind with derogatory tales about Marcus Licinius Crassus Frugi. He was one of Claudius’ oldest and closest acquaintances, being one of the few to spend regular convivial time in the Emperor’s company, drinking, chatting and playing dice. However, it was not this that had earned the Empress’ fatal disfavour, as she could not care less about the Princeps’ social friends as long as they did not jeopardise her own position. Instead, it was the man’s previous military successes in Macedonia and Britannia, along with his impeccably patrician lineage, that created her desire to have him eliminated, for such impressive background qualifications made him a potential future Senate-sponsored candidate for the purple.
Messalina’s attitude had been enhanced by the manner in which Crassus Frugi had shown clear disapproval of the 23 year-old woman’s morals. Although this attitude, and the back-up evidence, had not yet been conveyed by the patrician to Claudius, the Empress had real cause for fear. She worried not only that the information might soon reach her husband’s ears but also that the Princeps might actually believe what he heard because the alarming disclosures came from a close friend of long standing.
Messalina had started out by lying that Crassus Frugi had, behind his supposed friend’s back, made regular insulting comments about Claudius to others. As a result, the patrician’s invitations to the Imperial palace suddenly dried up.
Messalina followed up this success by untruthfully suggesting that Crassus Frugi was plotting a coup. However, this was undermined by a complete lack of evidence, which restrained Claudius from taking any action other than setting spies on his former drinking companion. The Empress therefore now decided to go for broke by dishonestly advising her husband, who was very gullible in her devious hands, that the man had once tried to flirt with her in an obvious attempt at seduction.
Claudius had exploded in fury at the news of an attempt, by an obviously vile treacherous man who had purported to be his friend, to lead his virtuous wife astray. However, the revelation was not a total surprise in the Emperor’s mind, where certain attitudes to others had been twisted by the lessons of many appalling experiences in his life. He had been the victim of much abuse and had seen infamous conspiracy, betrayal, murder and other dreadful suffering at first hand. He had therefore always suspected patricians, from where most of the culprits had emanated, of duplicity, even, perhaps especially, those who were supposed to be close to him.
Encouraged by Messalina’s crocodile tears, and apparent willingness to be soothed in her bed by her husband to help her overcome her trauma at recall of the dreadful attempted violation of her marital purity, Claudius issued orders to the duty Prefect of the Guard. Whilst the Emperor was rewarded with the Empress’ body for issuing the command, a small group of Praetorians were despatched from the palace to travel to the home of the completely innocent Crassus Frugi. Here, the patrician, both surprised by the soldiers present sudden visit and his recent eviction from Imperial favour, was also despatched, but from this world by means of one of the soldiers’ short stabbing swords through his heart.
Crassus Frugi was yet another to suffer from an inability to learn a particular lesson from history, namely that it could be fatal to earn the ire of the women behind powerful men.
(The villa of Caius Silius, Rome, same time)
‘Men must obey their betters. The gods they invoked had empowered the Romans to decide what to give and what to take away, and to tolerate no judges but themselves.’
- Tacitus (quoting a Roman general)
Meanwhile, not far from Crassus Frugi’s urban domus, others were about to learn another very painful and permanently distressing lesson.
I wish here to advise the patient readership of my lengthy saga that I have instructed my scribe to use the ancient version of my master’s praenomen. This should, of course, begin with a ‘G’ not ‘C’ these days, but I shall utilise the older variant in order to distinguish him from another named Gaius in this early part of my tale.
Caius solemnly addressed his assembled urban slaves, including Apollinus and me, about the need for obedience to the rules of conduct he had set for his household staff and for the resistance of divergent temptation. He then nodded at the major domo, who in turn shook his head affirmatively at the craftsman, an Aegyptian, he had hired to inflict dreadful punishment on two beautiful naked girls.
According to the Greek geographer Strabo, the Aegyptians were noted ‘for raising all their children and for circumcising the males and for performing excision on the females’. They apparently performed the latter to prevent bad behaviour and therefore potential disgrace, believing that the regular rubbing of the clitoris by feminine garments aroused their young womenfolk, encouraging them to seek inappropriate sexual intercourse. Accordingly, they thought it best to remove the appendage completely, usually just before girls reached marriageable age.
I did not see much of the even more comprehensive operation conducted on Caius’ first screaming 16 year-old slave girl, whose youth was exemplified by her pleasant, but as yet still not fully developed, breasts. I was too horrified to keep my eyes focused on the appalling act of infibulation after her small patch of pubic hair had been shaved away by the perpetrator’s very sharp blade. However, I did notice that the Aegyptian used forceps as well as a knife and that much blood fell onto the ground to add to the previous sanguine stains located there, the latest formed just weeks before by the poor youth who had been nullified.
The dreadful surgery was concluded when diluted wine was used to stop the resultant, expertly stitched wound from continuing to bleed. A sponge and sprinkled powder, made from ground burnt date stones, then dried the appalling scene, before it was dressed with a vinegar-moistened compress. After a few days, a camomile and rose petal mixture would also be applied to aid the healing process.
I, along with others, could not now prevent ourselves from vomiting, as the major domo passed a bowl, containing the girl’s severed sexual organs, clitoris, labia minora, labia majora and urethral and vaginal openings, around her fellow slaves for us to appreciate fully the lesson hopefully learnt. However, my particular distress was not just in physical disgust but in mental torment borne out of immense sympathy for the young victim, and her friend who would soon follow.
This had been compounded when I learnt that the slave girls had only become secret lesbian lovers, to satiate their burgeoning sexual desires, not out of preference but out of the need to avoid pregnancy, which would have been clear evidence to their master of their infidelity with males. However, their seemingly sensible precaution had sadly rebounded on them when they chose the wrong time and place to succumb to each other’s charms.
Knowing what Apollinus and I sometimes indulged in, further added to my deep empathy towards the plight of the young females.
(Domus of Palaemon’s residential pupils, plebeian quarter, Rome, two weeks later, in September of the 5th year of the reign of the Emperor Claudius [AD 46])
'Long since that iron heart........by the love of a lad was won.
By the young beauty of Hylas and the grace of his tossing hair.'
- Theocritus of Syracuse ('Idylls', xiii)
Musonius Rufus had enjoyed his first two weeks in Rome. His parents had brought him to the Imperial capital some years earlier for a short visit to prosperous relatives. However, he had then been a youngster and could not recall much of the experience.
Musonius Rufus now considered himself a proper man of independent spirit, which the beautiful 16 year-old was in many ways, although I was to discover that there still remained boyish traits, and not just in his gorgeous, very youthful appearance. To me, some of these were not faults but pleasantaries in need of keeping, and I am happy to suggest that our subsequent relationship helped these worthy attributes not to be dispelled but rather beneficially developed, as an important and integral part of his impeccable adult character.
As well as receiving initial and, for him, very interesting instruction in philosophy, rhetoric and law from Palaemon, Musonius Rufus had managed, in his spare time, to see as many of the awesome sights of the vast crowded metropolis that was Rome. His enquiring mind did not restrict his wanderings to the normal visitor routes, around the Forum and other magnificent public complexes, but also encouraged him to walk the streets of the plebeian quarters, taking in the various array of sights, sounds and smells, not all pleasant. He wanted to acquire a real feel for the city, which not only represented immense majesty, strength and wealth but also tremendous squalor, powerlessness and poverty.
Musonius Rufus’ residential proximity to one of Rome’s plebeian areas had made such a tour easy. He was housed on the edge of one of these poorer districts in a domus that had seen better days as a patrician residence until the gradual encroachment into the neighbourhood, through progressive intrusive construction, of homes for the poor. The building had therefore been vacated and put on the market by the original alarmed upper class owners, allowing Palaemon to snap up the still pleasant and substantial property very cheaply, for use by those of his pupils who came from the provinces.
Musonius Rufus shared the domus with some thirty other youths and boys, of whom he was the only one not to possess an adult personal slave, trusted by parents to look after young charges. This was not because of any frugality on the part of his own father and mother. It was as a result of his desire to select and purchase his own younger servant, one who would not dominate his new freedom of action and movement, as the elderly household nominees suggested in Volsinii would undoubtedly have tried to do.
Musonius Rufus had, once again, overcome parental desires and had therefore not been accompanied to Rome by one of their trusted retainees. He instead departed his hometown with the wherewithal to buy his own. However, he had not yet bought a slave because of a discussion he had engaged in about the matter with Palaemon. The teacher had asked how the youth proposed to secure his purchase and, after being informed that the intention was to obtain the acquisition in the appropriate market, had engaged his pupil in philosophical debate.
Palaemon believed firmly that lessons of principle could be taught much better through practical example, and that this was an ideal opportunity to do so in respect of his latest pupil, who had already impressed him, and not just with his beauty. The bisexual teacher had liked the youth’s attitude, bearing and manner from the beginning, recognising a potentially highly worthy contributor to future Roman affairs when he saw one.
During their discussion, Palaemon had asked Musonius Rufus only questions, ones that led his pupil not only to his own answers but also to ones that reflected his own developing philosophies. “Why the slave market?” was the teacher’s initial enquiry, followed by many others such as “What do you seek in a slave?”
On the way the way to Musonius Rufus’ final solution to his need, Palaemon carefully steered the youth into questioning, amongst other issues, whether the ultimate transaction should only benefit one, the master, and not the other, the new slave. At the end of the whole process, the 16 year-old could not help smiling at being successfully manipulated by an expert, especially as he had both learnt much from the journey and reached a concluding destination that he delighted in.
Musonius Rufus therefore set out to buy a slave whose existence he could improve. Given the unknown destiny of those for sale at market, he now realised that that retail environment would not be appropriate for his purchase, as many could end up with much better lives than he could provide. No, he had to find a servant currently in distress. He was debating within himself how to achieve this aim when the problem was resolved for him.
A middle-aged free woman was in charge of the residence that was now Musonius Rufus’ temporary home and she had taken quite a fancy to the new pupil. However, he had resisted all her increasingly blatant attempts to seduce him. This was not just because the youth found the housekeeper rather old and ugly for his, as yet uninitiated, tastes in respect of females but also out of inherent shyness in respect of sexual matters, something that had so far kept him completely virginal.
The woman perceptively recognised this coy trait and decided to try to overcome such inhibitions. She therefore invited Musonius Rufus to a meeting of her secret society, where surely the surrounding goings-on and much wine would lead to her eventual successful conquest of the youth.
Musonius Rufus accepted for two reasons. He had temporarily run out of polite excuses to brush the woman’s various, supposedly furtive but nevertheless obvious, avaricious sexual invites off and he was also curious about Bacchanalia.
In the event, the housekeeper’s plans were thwarted, for the youth not only remained both sober and chaste during the event but had also been so appalled by proceedings that he had left early. Nevertheless, this had not prevented the 16 year-old from departing with a memento of the occasion, because he returned to his temporary home with his new young slave, 4 year-old Hylas.
Musonius Rufus had been departing the main scene of the Bacchanalia in disgust when he had come across one of the other smaller wooded glades where more private society activities took place. Here, he had spotted the naked Hylas, on his knees orally serving one of the male members, in both senses of the word, of the society, whilst others stood drunkenly nearby waiting their turn to partake of the youngster’s orifices.
Musonius Rufus had been so anguished at the sight, induced by intense pity for the infant victim of the men’s lusts, as well as mindful of his agreement with Palaemon as to how to choose his new slave, that he immediately turned on his heel. The youth sought out the chief priest, or Silenus, who was not yet so inebriated that he was unable to identify and negotiate a profitable transaction when he saw one.
Hylas had been the Bacchic society’s most expensive human buy yet because of his fashionable nationality. However, it had been correctly surmised that the boy would pay for himself when his availability was advertised to prospective new adherents. This supposition had been validated by a sudden upsurge in the number of members, all required to pay advance subscriptions, which represented substantial amounts for plebeians. Nevertheless, the novelty would soon wear, along with the infant’s innocent charms, and the Silenus realised that now was a good time to sell, as another youngster from Britannia could then be obtained to repeat the process.
Musonius Rufus actually paid far more than the chief priest was prepared to settle for, as the youth’s price negotiating skills were compromised by an acute desire just to rescue poor Hylas and leave the Bacchanalia as speedily as possible. Naturally, the Silenus was delighted at the settlement figure. He presumed incorrectly that the 16 year-old, an unusual society devotee because of his rich equestrian status, evident by his appearance, must have been infatuated with the infant to want to acquire at such cost the sole use of the young eunuch for his own lewd requirements.
Musonius Rufus was to rescue another young slave from an awful fate just a week later.
(The villa of Caius Silius, Rome, one week later)
‘It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.’
- Aristotle
My master was holding another banquet, this time just for some intimate male friends. No females were present apart from young pretty girl entertainers and slaves of the inner household. I too was serving at the event, along with other slightly older but nevertheless very handsome eunuchs, who were also amongst those who regularly attended to Caius Silius’ closest family.
I was soon to discover why the choice of servants from the inner household for this particular function had been concentrated on the youngest and most beautiful. I was also to see for the first time the first true love of my life, a marvelous vision that I beg the gods can be in my mind when I close my eyes for the last time.
Caius had invited some of Rome’s most notorious sexual scoundrels and one sweet angel. Amongst the former were some guests who had been present at his earlier more lavish event. There was Petronius, who had then publicly intimately fondled my privates, with his friend, Titus Vinius. There was also Aulus Vitellius. Amongst others, all three gave me frequent clearly lascivious stares. My vanity again initially caused this apparent flattering attention to instill my young body with tingling sensations, but these later quickly disappeared when the awful significance of the men’s regular lecherous looks became apparent.
Palaemon had brought his latest pupil. He knew that the currently straitlaced and socially naïve Musonius Rufus would probably not only dislike the occasion but also be appalled by much of what happened, especially after the guests had consumed much wine. However, the teacher believed that it was right for the youth to learn at first hand what some of the most important men in the Empire were really like.
The rather innocent 16 year-old from an unimportant small country town had been shocked by his experience at the Bacchanalia, a fact he had reported to Palaemon when introducing his new purchase, Hylas. The teacher had been very pleased with the reason behind Musonius Rufus’ eventual selection of a slave, as it showed that his latest pupil’s character was truly developing in the right direction. The teacher’s pleasure was enhanced by recognition that, despite his very tender years, the pretty 4 year-old appeared to acquire speedy efficiency in seeing to his new master’s menial needs, basically fetching, carrying and tidying. The tutor perceptively surmised that this was probably partly attributable to intense gratitude for being rescued from the dreadful secret society dedicated to Bacchus.
Hylas was clearly an excellent candidate for Musonius Rufus’ compassion. Bacchic organisations are notorious for the physical and sexual abuse, and sometimes worse, of their young slaves. There was plenty of bodily evidence that the 4 year-old from Britannia had already, during his short stay, suffered much at the hands, and other anatomical parts, of the members of the particular society to which he belonged. His new owner had spent much time and patience in repairing awful damage to the infant’s rectum and had encouraged his new property to gargle regularly with a liquid potion, known to be effective in healing mouth and throat problems. He had also let the youngster platonically share his bed in order to help overcome the boy’s terrible recurrent nightmares.
Hylas, physical and psychological shape improving every day, was now constantly at Musonius Rufus’ side, seemingly unwilling to let his sudden change in fortune, in the form of a kind, gentle and considerate new owner, out of his sight. The boy had also been re-groomed under the personal supervision of his youthful master, who had commissioned hairdressers, tailors and cobblers to ensure that his new young slave truly began to look his new part, that of servant to an equestrian of rich background.
Throughout the whole process, the housekeeper, who had taken the newcomer from Volsinii to the Bacchanalia, was absent because she had been transferred to another of Palaemon’s residential establishments for pupils. Musonius Rufus had not requested such a move but the teacher, having heard the circumstances of Hylas’ acquisition, had considered the change wise, if only for the sake of the youth’s new slave, for whom the woman would always be a reminder of his recent terrible past.
Hylas now accompanied Musonius Rufus to Caius’ banquet, although I have to confess that I initially took little notice of the pretty infant slave constantly standing next to the youth’s couch. When I acquainted him years later about this fact, my lifelong friend-to-be forgave my oversight, understanding perfectly why I only had eyes for his young master.
Whenever my duties permitted, my eyes could not help themselves from constantly furtively focusing on the reclining Musonius Rufus. They were certainly attracted by his great beauty. I also believe that they were partly enticed by the incongruity of his presence, for he seemed totally out of place and very uncomfortable amongst the other older guests. He drank, ate and spoke little, although he was clearly taking in much of what was happening and being said around him. However, in truth, my own frequent secret gazes actually principally resulted from the fact that I had noticed that they were regularly reciprocated.
I did not know it at the time but Palaemon had espied the instant mutual attraction between his latest pupil and his host’s newest slave and decided to do something about it. The teacher, recognising Musonius Rufus’ virginal inexperience in matters of sex, believed that it was about time the youth became more practically knowledgeable about the subject. To the tutor, the occasion seemed the ideal opportunity and Caius’ young eunuch the perfect object with which to practice. I do not believe that the man was later unhappy with the notion that the 16 year-old subsequently wanted many more lessons from the 14 year-old, to indulge in the art not only of carnal copulation but also of true love.
Being unaware and unused at the time to Caius Silius’ penchant for the occasional orgy, I had originally been happy to be ordered by the major domo to assist with the preparations for, and the actual serving of food and wine at, my master’s banquet. After all, the change of routine temporarily took me away from having to be at the beck and call of 15 year-old Crispina, still heavily pregnant, and her stepdaughters Sribonia and Tullia.
The menial duties had not proven particularly onerous, just demeaning for a boy both brought up and now living in societies where males dominated. My sense of humiliation was not helped by the girls’ frequent verbal sarcastic complaints about my competence, which were inaccurate for I was efficient, and their habit of regularly punishing me for such alleged ineptitude. I noticed that this usually happened most frequently when young guests, such as the obnoxious 8 year-old Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, were present, presumably because the females wanted to show off their power over me.
I was often obliged to bend over, hands on knees, whilst one of the girls raised the back hem of my short tight scarlet tunic with one hand before striking my exposed bare bottom with a crop held in the other. My buttocks were rarely free of at least one recently manufactured vivid stripe, which invariably caused the creators and spectators great merriment in producing. However, the time of the banquet was one of those rare occasions when my rear was not so decorated, apparently on the instructions of the master of the household. I was soon to discover why.
I was shocked from the beginning by the evening’s entertainment, for it was far cruder than the simulated sex acts provided towards the end of the last banquet at which I had been present. The various very attractive young male and female artistes now disrobed completely and highly seductively, often after earlier dancing, or indulging in acrobatics or juggling, and the subsequent demonstrations of heterosexual and homosexual fornication they provided were completely real. I felt sorry for Apollinus, whose kitchen duties meant that he missed a show he would have loved. However, I was soon feeling sorrier for myself.
After much food and wine had been consumed by everyone except Musonius Rufus, who had spent a lot of time diplomatically fighting off increasingly licentious verbal approaches from other diners for his favours, or those of his young slave, Caius Silius made an announcement. He declared that it was time for his guests to choose. I did not know what he meant, although it was clear that most of the patricians and equestrians present did, despite inebriation. I was then further perplexed when I overheard the major domo, present to oversee affairs, including this particular selection process, advise my master that I had been nominated most of all and that he would have to use lots to see who could have me and when.
Apparently my first client was to be Aulus Vitellius, although I still stupidly did not know what for, even when the smirking man came to collect his prize. The 31 year-old led me away by the arm towards the large complex of guestrooms possessed by his host’s urban villa. There, an adult servant was present to direct eager visitors, all stinking of wine, to unoccupied bedchambers.
I noticed, as I departed the banquet scene, that other young male and female slaves, as well as many of the entertainers, were also being escorted by unsteady but keen diners towards the guestrooms. I additionally perceived the look of disappointment on the faces of 20 year-old Petronius and the slightly younger Titus Vinius. However, it was the clear horror displayed in the gorgeous sensuous hazel eyes of the youth next to Palaemon that most concerned me. He obviously knew something that I did not. I was now to find out what this was.
Aulus Vitellius led me into a sumptuously decorated bedroom and immediately engulfed me in his arms, pressing his lips, still damp with the residue of recently consumed wine, to my own. I then felt a hand intrude under my tunic to caress my bottom and appalling realisation as to why I was in the chamber with this awful man belatedly dawned. My initial reaction was to try to resist the guest’s intimate encroachment but this was quickly dispelled by consideration of the possible consequences.
It was obvious that Caius Silius had not only authorized and arranged this liaison but also others to follow overnight, and the penalty for denying him his right to be hospitable to his lecherous cronies would probably be dreadful. The sight of the recent infibulation of the two slave girls, and the vividly described news about the nullification of a miscreant youth earlier, remained fresh in my mind. I also recalled the availability of crucifixion apparatus. I therefore sadly and quietly succumbed to whatever the guest wanted to do.
My tunic was quickly shed, as were Aulus Vitellius’ purple-edged woollen toga, undergarments and sandals, with the pair of us soon naked on the bed. I was now more accustomed to having Caius Silius’ rampant cock inside me and so the act of sodomy, when it eventually came, was not too painful, although still deeply demeaning. Far worse for me at the time, because I had never performed the degrading services before, were the preliminary fellatio and final oral cleansing of the patrician’s large hairy member.
I received a sharp smack across my face each time I gagged when indulging in the first distasteful activity. However, the blows were just something I had to put up with, as my physiology found the presence of a substantial erection filling my oral orifice too disgusting to prevent such a regular reaction. Happily, I did not have to swallow anything other than copious precum. Aulus Vitellius’ insobriety apparently made him incapable of ejaculating more than once into me, especially as he had nominated himself to enjoy the favours of one of the entertainment girls later, and he wanted my anal cavity to be the recipient of his reproductive fluids. My mouth was just a starter for the main course. The subsequent cleaning, by sucking and licking of the now softening penile implement, proved, for me, a very unpleasant dessert.
Meanwhile, back in the banqueting hall, Petronius was apparently waiting eagerly for his turn with me until Palaemon intervened and persuaded him to wait a little longer. The teacher had secretly put forward his latest pupil’s name to enjoy my favours but had now realised that Musonius Rufus might leave early, disgusted at what he had observed.
The always persuasive Palaemon was able to convince Petronius to swap his allocated appointment with me for Musonius Rufus’ later time. The young man had kindly acquiesced to speed the youth’s loss of virginity, always being a pushover when it came to assisting the personal development of beautiful boys. However, he later laughingly advised me, without any malice, that he would not have been so co-operative if he had known how long he would have to wait to enjoy my bodily delights.
Palaemon had also persuaded the highly reluctant Musonius Rufus of the need to go to his surprise and initially unwanted appointment. However, the youth was eventually convinced not by his teacher’s arguments about the need for sexual as well as mental education but by sudden realisation that, by accepting, he could help me.
I remained naked on the bed, waiting for my next client and trying to hold back tears. It seemed that I was now not only a young slave but also a boy whore. Then, Musonius Rufus entered the chamber, with a sheepish look on his face and still accompanied by the diminutive Hylas. The three of us emerged many hours later, long after dawn when most other guests had not only obtained sexual solace elsewhere but also gone home. However, the 16 year-old and I did not care, because our lives had changed forever.
(Elsewhere in Rome, same morning)
‘Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.’
- Cicero
Britannicus and Titus Flavius Vespasianus were learning from their now shared tutor in the Imperial palace. Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, unfortunately for almost everyone, largely ignored his own personal pedagogue in the family domus, whilst his erstwhile companions, Marcus Annaeus Lucanus and Silius Italicus, were in schools that rivalled those of Palaemon for pupil numbers if not quite the same excellence. However, whether this eventually detrimentally affected the latter duo’s later contribution to Roman society, compared to that of Musonius Rufus, I shall leave for others to judge, because my opinion would be biased.
Meanwhile, illiterate Axenius continued his lessons in percussion in the temple of Cybele.
(The countryside outside Rome, same time)
‘Whoever obeys the gods, to him they particularly listen.’
- Homer (‘The Iliad’)
Cephas was, unusually, not conducting his own lessons in the teachings of his cult’s founder. Instead, he was performing one of the innovative rituals of the latest religious trend. The rite for new adherents was termed ‘baptism’ and he performed it in a quiet part of the river Tiber, in the clear pure waters upstream from where the waterway became Rome’s main sewer.
(Antiocheia, the Roman Imperial Colony of Pisidea in Asia Minor, same time)
‘Things that are holy are revealed only to men who are holy.’
- Hippocrates (‘Law’)
The interesting bald-headed man, with meeting eyebrows and a rather prominent nose, was also, by chance, simultaneously performing the same Christian ceremony in respect of some recent converts to the new creed. The Jewish tent-maker, unusually equipped with Roman citizenship as well as his craft, was no longer ill, as the environment of Antiocheia had truly been beneficial to his health.
As a result, Paul was beginning to wonder whether, after leaving this city in good hands, he should travel further afield to produce more canopies in other markets, as well as believers in the true faith.
(The villa of Caius Silius, Rome, same time)
‘He just reached into his opened quiver and found the arrow meant for me.
He stoutly gripped his bow and bent it back against his knee.
“Here's something,” he said, “to make you sing.”
O unhappy me! That boy really knew how to use a bow and arrow!
I'm on fire - Love's taken charge of my heart.’
- Ovid (‘Amores’)
I gave my second and last bedroom client of the night a long, purposefully lingering, kiss before we reluctantly parted. Our embrace was symbolic of burgeoning reciprocated love, a development that would hereafter be exemplified by the fact that I would call Musonius Rufus intimately only by his praenomen, Gaius, a habit that I shall now follow as I narrate my saga.
Hylas had missed most of the proceedings on the bed in Caius Silius’ guestroom because he had slept throughout, on the opposite side of Gaius from where I lay. However, the 4 year-old’s arm tightly grasped his new master during the whole of the infant’s lengthy slumber, the youngster apparently needing the constant reassurance of the 16 year-old’s presence even when in deep unconscious repose.
The morning parting embrace between two young new lovers was not yet as emphatically passionate as it would become, because Gaius left Caius Silius’ urban villa, with young, hero-worshipping, Hylas in tow, somehow still a virgin.
(To be continued in chapter IX – ‘Confessions’)