Questions asked about Vancouver

[Studlover]

(Whether this is true or not, it is still laugh out loud material. I had seen it posted somewhere but thought everyone would enjoy it...again)

Cultural: 2010 Winter Olympics
This is laugh out loud material!

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are
some questions people the world over are asking!

Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website

(frightening). Obviously the answers are a joke;
but the questions were really asked!

Q. I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?
(UK)
A. We import all plants full grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q. Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A. Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the
Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A. Sure, it's only four thousand miles; take lots of water.

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A. So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q. It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A. Let's not touch this one.

Q. Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada?
Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and
Halifax? (UK)
A. What did your last slave die of?

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come
naked.

Q. Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A. Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q. Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.



Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A. Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is.
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q. Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A. No, we don't stink.

Q. I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A. Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q. Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A. Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A. Only at Thanksgiving.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A. No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter / gatherers.
Milk is illegal.

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A. It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone talking close to them. You can scare
them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Please send this on to any who you think will enjoy it as much as I
have.

[Riverwind]

Studlover these were great, I can see IEunuch giving these answers to most of the questions above.

Go Canada

River

[Studlover]

Studlover these were great, I can see IEunuch giving these answers to most of the questions above.

Go Canada

River

River, I found them highly amusing. I just wonder what would happen if someone *really* gave answers like this to tourist inquiries?
SL

[numnuts]

Hilarious stuff, Studlover!

I remember when I was in my mid 20's, myself and some friends drove up to Niagra Falls for a drinking weekend. At the border they asked if we had any firearms, and I said, "Why, whaddya need?" Then he asked if I had anything to declare, and I said, "Yeah, my brother's an idiot".

Immediately following those 2 outbursts they promptly pulled our car out of line and spent over an hour and a half going through it while we sat in the sun in 98 degree heat.

I didn't say anything when we crossed the border on the way home.

[Studlover]

Hilarious stuff, Studlover!

I remember when I was in my mid 20's, myself and some friends drove up to Niagra Falls for a drinking weekend. At the border they asked if we had any firearms, and I said, "Why, whaddya need?" Then he asked if I had anything to declare, and I said, "Yeah, my brother's an idiot".

Immediately following those 2 outbursts they promptly pulled our car out of line and spent over an hour and a half going through it while we sat in the sun in 98 degree heat.

I didn't say anything when we crossed the border on the way home.

bnumnuts, similar happened to me once when crosiing back to the USA from Tijuana. The border patrol asked what country I was from and I told him , "Texas." He asked again. Same answer. He got so made he detained the bus for an hour and half.
I learned governement officials don't have a sense of humor.
Studlover