Intentions: A letter of disclosure

[Christina]

Below is a copy of a letter I had written over two years ago (Oct. 2002) when I first went public with my transition. This letter was to be a remembrance of my disclosure in case the initial shock was too much to handle. Many things about the coming out process can be scarey and unsure. Social transition, I believe, can be the hardest thing a person can do. I wrote this letter to give to those I cared deeply about.

Since that time I have shared this letter with many close friends here on the Archive. For many it has been beneficial. It had been rewritten a few times before anyone saw it so that I could include all the key elements without overburdening the reader. It was not my intention, at the time, to explain all of the details of transitioning.

For anyone who may not have read this letter, please feel free to use it as a guide and tailor it to suit your own needs.

A letter to my family, friends and coworkers

First of all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this letter. This is a very difficult situation for me, as I am uncertain of the outcome with everyone whom I associate with and care about. Let me say that I do not wish to offend anyone, and I only ask that you would try to understand what I am about to tell you. As you may or may not know, there have been some changes in my life that are becoming apparent. The time has come to tell you of something that I have been dealing with for my entire life. This letter will try to explain my intentions.

Until a few years ago I did not know who to ask, or was afraid to ask, for help. I have tried to hold this inside, but it kept surfacing. Finally, after searching and finding some answers with the information available, I gained the courage to seek the advice of my doctor who in turn has led me to seek professionals that know and understand my situation. By now you are asking yourself, what could be so important to hide for a life time. The professional medical term is Gender Identity Disorder or GID for short. I have been diagnosed with this condition. What this means is that I desire to change my outward appearance to match how I feel inside. To be blunt, I am changing from male to female. This is a condition that affects a small number of people, both male and female. An individual, who has GID, usually is aware of the problem very early in life, somewhere around the age of 4 or 5. No one knows for sure how this condition occurs, and there are many documents written to try to explain this, and it is not my intention to try to explain it in this letter. Please do not be afraid to ask if you have any questions. I will provide documents and/or answer your questions to the best of my ability about this condition.

I am now in the care of medical physician and a therapist for the treatment of GID. This is what is known as a transitional period. The time it takes to transion, may take many years to achieve the final results, so I will assure you now that I will not change overnight. This letter you are reading is only to inform you of my intentions to transition in the coming months. .This will involve many things, one is the administration of hormones and I am also working with a therapist to help make a social adjustment. There will come a time when I must make a legal name change and at that time you will receive another letter.

As a final note, this will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It is a tremendous undertaking on my part and I hope to do it to the best of my ability. This is something that I must do. I know in my heart that this is the right path for me and do not regret the decision I have made. I will still be the same person you have always known; with all my likes and dislikes, only my appearance will change. I now know that I am not alone on this journey, and that there are many others like me who are in this situation and in the process of transitioning. Their advice and knowledge has helped me to understand my situation better. With each day that passes, I gain new hope and see a brighter future. I am looking forward to the day, and beyond, when I can say that I have reached my goals. I hope that everyone would understand my situation, but must accept and respect your decision in this matter.



Thank You All

[Leona Lee]

Thank you for sharing that letter. I wish I was in a situation to do the same thing.Married with 10 granchildren, 4 children, in business for 30 years makes it very complicated. All the Best Honey,Hugs Leona

[caviman001]

i would like to offer you the best of luck for what is ahead of you. i hope you find peace and love, and at the end find what you want

[transgirl23ny]

I would like to interject that a letter is a GOOD IDEA! You can read and re-read what you want to say before telling those you love and work with.

I was 20 at the time, and pretty damn naive. I told my mother over the phone. I had no medical facts or terms to back it up, and a pretty loose diagnosis by an Army psychologist who was not really knowledgable of such dissorders. I just basically said "I feel I was meant to be a girl" with no substance to back it up. Just a feeling.

The reprocussions of the decision to tell my mother in haste were felt for 2 years of transition afterwards. She was bitter and hatefull. She despised me, and made my early transition incredibly painfull. Had I taken the time to sit down, and thorougly document what needed to be said, and prepared a formal letter, the impact would not have been so negative.

My mother and I were reconciled for the first time this Sunday ( 21 August 05 ). It was the first time in 3 years that she had seen me. The last time she saw me I was in desert uniform, with a helmet and a rifle bound for the middle east. She had that fixed image in her mind, of that soldier in a dress. (how Corporal Klinger of me, lol) I didn't let her understand that I am under the care of medical proffessionals, and I am sure drag queen images danced in her head. Not good.

Point is... I did things poorly, and I fully embrace the idea of sending a well layed out letter of explaination. Otherwise you run the risk of subjugating your family to images of you on Jerry Springer. Not healthy. It hurt me, and I implore anyone considering foreclosure of ones transgendered status to write a letter.

Thank you for sharing yours with everyone Christina!!! Hopefully it helps someone who needs a little extra assistance!