Three weeks post-op, still bleeding

[LadyLore]

It's almost 4 in the morning and I'm awake. I woke up to the wet of blood, as I have every night for the last three weeks since I did a poorly done self-orchi. Last Saturday, two stitches came undone, and the bleeding has been intolerable(It's what I get for using absorb-able sutures on the exterior). Tried surgical glue, and my boyfriend made an attempt at applying wound closure medical tape. He hasn't been helping me much with bandaging, kind of half assing it. Stressed at how dumb his girlfriend is, I guess. I went to the hospital a week after the operation out of concern of infection and blood loss, as well as a huge hematoma forming. What they gave me was dismissive, if not negligent treatment. Over a week later, and I've been in bed over three weeks. During this time I've been bloody, bored, and in pain. I have played Diablo 3 in bed and watched The Walking Dead with my bf, as well as just writing around in mild agony to pass the time. Tonight I just broke. I saw, yet again, blood soaking through my shorts and down my thighs, onto the sheets and went hysterical. As if I'm not seeing enough on screen blood, it's in my dreams and all over me, all the bloody time.

It occurred to me, just how bad an idea this was. In fact, it was like I was taking a warm, sorrowful bath of regret. I just cried and cried, and then got up and made myself stay up long enough to get more stitches and cleaned it up. Chickened out, and did the tape myself after cleaning, and I believe I secured the wounds closed. I feel it's also properly bandaged now that I did it myself, at least I hope.

Three weeks out and I'm still terrified of infection and have no life due to the presence of a 200 or so hematoma between my legs that can't be tucked or construed. I mean hell, my breast implants are 250's, and at 5'2 that makes me an easy C, so it's like having a friggin boob, or maybe a baby's head, sticking out my bloody pelvis. I am depressed and walking a fragile, thin line of maintaining self-interest in this world.

This is a really stupid transwoman telling you, all of you, to not try this at home.

[tugon]

It's almost 4 in the morning and I'm awake. I woke up to the wet of blood, as I have every night for the last three weeks since I did a poorly done self-orchi. Last Saturday, two stitches came undone, and the bleeding has been intolerable(It's what I get for using absorb-able sutures on the exterior). Tried surgical glue, and my boyfriend made an attempt at applying wound closure medical tape. He hasn't been helping me much with bandaging, kind of half assing it. Stressed at how dumb his girlfriend is, I guess. I went to the hospital a week after the operation out of concern of infection and blood loss, as well as a huge hematoma forming. What they gave me was dismissive, if not negligent treatment. Over a week later, and I've been in bed over three weeks. During this time I've been bloody, bored, and in pain. I have played Diablo 3 in bed and watched The Walking Dead with my bf, as well as just writing around in mild agony to pass the time. Tonight I just broke. I saw, yet again, blood soaking through my shorts and down my thighs, onto the sheets and went hysterical. As if I'm not seeing enough on screen blood, it's in my dreams and all over me, all the bloody time.

It occurred to me, just how bad an idea this was. In fact, it was like I was taking a warm, sorrowful bath of regret. I just cried and cried, and then got up and made myself stay up long enough to get more stitches and cleaned it up. Chickened out, and did the tape myself after cleaning, and I believe I secured the wounds closed. I feel it's also properly bandaged now that I did it myself, at least I hope.

Three weeks out and I'm still terrified of infection and have no life due to the presence of a 200 or so hematoma between my legs that can't be tucked or construed. I mean hell, my breast implants are 250's, and at 5'2 that makes me an easy C, so it's like having a friggin boob, or maybe a baby's head, sticking out my bloody pelvis. I am depressed and walking a fragile, thin line of maintaining self-interest in this world.

This is a really stupid transwoman telling you, all of you, to not try this at home.

You will have time later for regrets but for now you need to take yourself to an emergency room. Likely you are having a lot of drainage that is tinged by blood. I doubt if you could still be bleeding after this time and be able to type. You are a patient in need of care and demand that you receive the care. If you are unable to pay let them know that upfront so they can use government funds to cover the expense. Good healthcare providers first thoughts should be to help solve the problem.

[LadyLore]

You will have time later for regrets but for now you need to take yourself to an emergency room. Likely you are having a lot of drainage that is tinged by blood. I doubt if you could still be bleeding after this time and be able to type. You are a patient in need of care and demand that you receive the care. If you are unable to pay let them know that upfront so they can use government funds to cover the expense. Good healthcare providers first thoughts should be to help solve the problem.

It's not that bad bleeding, it's from a surface vessel I cut, I don't think any is draining internally or I'd notice a reduction in overall swelling/hematoma. I'm going through a roughly 1 inch thick, 4 square inch bit of guaze a day, yesterday was two. The tape has greatly reduced it. And, I can't go back to the ER. I'm uninsured and frankly after one wasted visit am not willing to risk another.

[Uncle Flo]

My advice: Back to the emergency room. Complain loudly about how badly you were treated the last time you were there. Take someone with you to back-up your statements and to help you be assertive about your situation. If they have an ER they can not refuse to treat you because you can't pay. --FLO--

[Hash]

Please take the advice you've been given and make a smart decision. Stop sulking and be proactive, advocate for yourself. If you don't and this gets infected, it could spread to your penis and bladder and you might die or lose your penis completely. There are a lot of free clinics in Colorado, find the closest one and go. For example:

http://www.freemedicalsearch.org/cit...lorado_springs

http://www.homelessshelterdirectory....rings&state=CO

http://www.openbiblemedical.org/

http://www.missionmedicalclinic.org/

[LadyLore]

I just received a bill for $3738.65 for going to the emergency room, per everyone's recommendation two weeks ago. Nothing was done to me to warrant this bill.

I posted about it here: http://www.reddit.com/r/ColoradoSpri...rose_hospital/

Quoted:

"I went into the ER a week after an invasive incident to check for infection and have a 300cc hematoma removed or at least dealt with somehow, in addition to massive amounts of pain and no sleep for days.
I was admitted, gawked at, with an ultrasound, metabolic panel, and some morphine thrown in. Then, they sent me home without doing anything. I implored two doctors to treat me but the entire staff treated me dismissively and negligently.
Over a week later and I'm still in massive amounts of pain, still bleeding at least 30cc blood a day, and still have a hematoma protruding from me so large that I'm not presentable in public.
Today I received a bill for $3,738.65 for them sticking me in a room, poking me a couple times, and talking about me loudly in the hallway.
I should also mention that I'm a pre-op transwoman, very passable. I feel that the entire staff that dealt with me did so in a bigoted, derogatory manner after this was revealed.
I would appreciate help on getting a bill like this waived or legal advice on how to file a lawsuit for medical negligence and discrimination."

I would appreciate help finding legal consultation on how to get justice done on this.

[tugon]

When you first go to a hospital and they take your initial information you need to tell them you need uncompensated care. The hospital needs to be a public hospital and not one that is private. In your link someone suggested a better hospital and it would not hurt to check it out.

The bill you received seems very high and I would ask for an itemized bill showing every charge. While your memory is fresh is the best time to debate any charges. Once charges for services you did not receive are removed then try to bargain with them.

Ask questions and tell them what you think should happen while receiving care. Be respectful to them and they should be with you. They may have not faced your situation before or is comfortable in how to approach your problem. They should be focused on your physical needs and later they can deal with their reaction to your medical issues. I must say from my experience telling doctors I had my testicles removed they do not show any curiosity and quickly move on to the next subject.

Good luck on what you choose to do but if you one day hope to transition you should seek care so you have all the tissue you need for vaginoplasty.

[justjustin]

That's awful, Ladylore. I don't have any advice for you, but loads of sympathy. Wish I could help.

[matoso]

I would not return to an emergency room that basically snubbed and ignored your pleas. That's like asking the doc that botched the operation to fix it. OOPS.
The list of hospitals above is a good start, but if you have to go to another town, perhaps larger city, or university medical center like OSU Hopsital,, in Columbus, OH,, you get fantastic attention.
I understand the fear of infection. Blood infections can be killers if you wait too long.
Also, have someone help you get there, and find out if the doctors are horrified at the care you were given, telling you that you should have had this done or that. Perhaps they'll say nothing,, so I would inquire, if you get the help you're wanting, as to what you should have done after you made your big mistake in doing it yourself. Report back to here if they give you some advice which could help others. I have heard and seen pics of Do-It-Yourself surgery... I don't think I have seen any manuals yet on how to do that, and not sure that is needed, but these frustrated people need guidelines. That is what I like about eunuch.org
I was trying to find facts on gas and barrels of oil , but the googling I found was mainly articles written by the gas and oil companies,, which I consider possible propoganda,or doubletalk,, basically it won't tell me anything other than their version. Eunuch.org is real, and not government controlled, at least I don't think Riverwind would stand for it!

[Lesley]

LadyLore,

The best advise I can give you is, go to Canada. They have a health system almost identical to the one here in Australia.
Here a hospital has to treat you. I had a foriegn friend gash his hand open while playing with a knife and he got treated for free.
It is a suggestion that may work. Stay away from private hospitals, they have to bill you.

[Hash]

LadyLore,

You should be able to get that bill reduced by more than half, but you've got to be persistent and stubborn. If you didn't have insurance and you told them you didn't, then they should automatically put you on Charity Care or you should apply for it, ask about it, be smart, be persistent, fight, ask for help.

There are for-profit companies that specialize in reviewing hospital bills for errors. These medical billing advocates are located in Colorado:

Highlands Ranch: Medical Billing Advocates of Colorado, Call 303-638-3754
Loveland: Medical Billing Advocacy of the Rockies, LLC, Call 970-663-1735
In order to prevent future medical bills, take advantage of programs that are geared toward low income families. For pregnant mothers, Catholic Charities of Colorado Springs can assist with prenatal education and pregnancy counseling.

The Colorado Department of Health Care Policy and Financing provides Child Health Plan Plus programs and serves low-income families, including those with disabilities. Call (303) 866-2993.

[devi]

They will lower your bill if you talk to the hospital billing. Then they set up a payment plan. Small consolation, I suppose I but have done that myself. (I fainted once in public. There happened to be paramedics there who called the police forcing me to go into the ambulance.) The ambulance charged me over $900. With the hospital ER my bill was reduced to $1500 if I made regular payments. During this time I found out it was cheaper to eat breakfast at the hospital rather than anywhere else (except home). But more importantly, they had ruled out a whole array of things that could have been wrong with me. This was the silver lining. There was nothing wrong with me other than I was depriving myself of adequate rest and dealing with sub-zero temperatures at the time and still was recovering from the flu that I had days before. Since they ruled out a whole array of things including getting an ekg, I could therefore know that I was in basically very good health.

PS: I was in the same Colorado hospital system as you by the way.

You could go ahead and use a pillow in order to look fat for a while.

Just hang in there. You will get past this! (Live and learn.)

[devi]

Lore,
After my incident I looked into the pricing of hospitals and found that this wasn't too bad as far as others were concerned. It was kind of middle of the road, I guess. (And they did tell me my blood sugar was a little high but not in the pre-diabetic range.) I also happen to know a lot of more or less homeless people that make $5 a month payments on astronomical bills that they know they'll never be able to pay off in full during the course of their lifetime. Others that I know have stitched themselves up their own selves and have set their own bones rather than going to the hospital. Many pull their own teeth themselves with some "help". Bleeding, infection, and shock are the main things to worry about. And rest. Something the hospital never warns you about is about morphine or oxycotin etc. Once you have no more of it you need to get off of it immediately and experience the withdrawal symptoms right away. Many of us are much worse than others in having secondary symptoms and so end up being "sick" after we are "well", mainly with depression. Symptoms: the shits, shivers, sweats, spasms, sleeplessness, sleepfulness, stomach heaving, "saudade" (homesick heartaching depression). Then after that you are well again. Good luck.

[SplitDik]

Yeah, this is why while I agreed with others that seeing a doctor was sound unfortunately in the US financial factors come into play. Think of how many people are in even worse situations than you (imagine being poor and diagnosed with cancer or something). And the whole thing about just not paying, or paying much less only works if you're truly destitute -- you're most screwed when you have a bit of money because they can legally take all of it before you get to the point of them covering the basic care for free. Also, if you're like most people, you generally feel bad not paying bills (even if they are excessive) because being a deadbeat just feels wrong.

Anyway, in general the body does wonders with healing. I would stick it out, except for watching for infection. Infection you definitely want to treat, but even then you probably want to go low-key -- i.e. go to a cheap/free clinic and get strong antibiotics prescribed. Emergency can be good if you are truly destitute (because they have to accept you by law) but otherwise Emergency is usually much more expensive. You may actually want to consider going to Mexico for treatment if you can somehow weather a roadtrip (doesn't sound like you're in shape for plane travel).

I've had huge haematomas before from various abuses (mostly skewering the testicle) and like you said it becomes like a grapefruit, literally, in size. However, it does in fact eventually heal (i.e. where it is bleeding from) and then reaborbs. It is certainly a very slow process though.

Anyway, my love and concern is with you.

SD

[LadyLore]

Update: Been calling around using the resources provided to try and find a urologist to treat me, getting the run around with nothing to show for it. Same condition I've been in. Out of pain meds so just dealing with it. Really wishing someone would just spare the office time to see me instead of telling me to go to the ER.