Well I thank you for that, and I am really thinking that I want to go all the way. Never really had a good sex life ever, always felt like a job that I had to do. Matter of fact I disliked it so much that on my first encounter I couldn't hardly get off, I think it was like a couple of hours before I even got off. Been over a year since any desire.Originally Posted by jcat
Thanks again,
James
With Surgery there is not any point of no return, but after SRS it is very difficult to get a new functional penis if you do change your mind.
_g
It's now two months since I stopped my 1 month hrt trial (from 50mg Spiro to 200mg/4mg Progynova) and I'm still not where I was before. But it's hard to objectively judge changes because on the trial I was like "when is it happening" and now I'm like "when will I feel like my old self".
But the main annoying thing is that I feel and get more tired. I don't have a steady job atm. When I work full-time in july this could get a serious problem. I sleep really long but I still feel tired throughout the day and activities make me tired really fast.
Libido is also not recovered. Before the trial I masturbated at least 3 times a day. I just couldn't sleep without it. Now I maybe do it once or twice a day but mainly to see how it feels and I often loose interest throughout it. Erections are often not as hard as before and semen volume and quality is lacking. Sexual thoughts are also clouded. I still strongly react to sexual triggers but it's hard to stay focussed now. Also my short term memory got really bad whereas I think about visiting a website and two seconds later I forgot which it was.
I'm thinking about visiting and endo or urologist but I don't know which is better. Also I don't know if I should tell them the whole story or just that I suspect having insufficient T. I also fear that they only offer me hrt with T which will further damage my natural production. I don't think hcg is a school medicine option. I made a blood-test before my trial so doing another one might show me how far I'm off.
People acquire beliefs and systems of beliefs, at least in my experience, through experience.
Thus, it makes sense to me for one person to resolutely believe in binary gender (people are male (as adults, men) or female (as adults, women) and nothing else is actually possible.
Such a belief and such a belief system may be remarkably constrained within the realm of the impossible for a person who is XX-chromosome and XY chromosome "chimeric."
In my experience as a person, I never experience the name given to something as being the something so named. Words, to me, never define tangible reality, this being the simple consequence, as I experience it, of words being symbols of meaning which, in and of themselves (in the total absence of any sort of context) have absolutely no meaning of any kind whatsoever.
The late French psychoanalysts, Jacques Lacan (1901-1981) proposed the view that human experience may be modeled as being of three aspects, the Real, the symbolic, and the imaginary. To drastically oversimplify the life work of Lacan, symbols are of the Real, as also is imagination. However, that imagination is Real does not, per se, confer the Real onto all that may be imagined, and, also, that symbols are real does not confer the Real onto all that may be symbolized.
The Real of Lacan's work is not at all the same as "reality" as a function of social consensus. More than 30 years ago, in sorting out how ti discern the Real from reality, I made a simple poster having red lines in the manner of outlines of bricks in a brick wall, with the words, "Running into a Brick Wall does not Hurt Any Less if you Pretend that the Wall Is Not There." In the sense of my understanding of the work of Lacan, the Real is not determined by opinion or consensus, whereas reality is purely of opinion, including consensus opinion when consensus is present.
In my view, "your either a woman or your not" would be of opinion and of reality, while being totally not of the Real. That would be no more nor less so if it were spelled conventionally, as, "you're either a woman or you're not"...
I have puzzled for most of my life about why some people who do not know me believe that they have the actual, practical capability of defining me.
That was interesting... The post containing the words, "your either a woman or your not" seems to have vanished into the luminous aether as phlogiston while I was tapping keys in seeking to put forth an alternative view.
Yeah, I experienced being sort-of "told" that binary gender is the one and only true way of life to be a tad abusive...
Live and learn?
Well the Spiro & Progynova have turned of your Testosterone production. You will need to see a doctor to get the drugs to restart the testicles, and your mileage may very. If the testicles do not restart making testosterone, you have some choices to make, 1) take HRT, 2) no HRT, or 3)take Female hormones and maybe transition to female or 4) a combination of all over time.
_g
The perceptual yardsticks we use to measure such agreeable topics as sex, politics and religion are the stuff of fine philosophy and psych speculation, historically, a minefield for the unwary. Whatever the effects of castration exactly, it seems that many have remarked here that we nutless ones are more inclined to accept or even welcome ideas of eunuchism, tg, cats and nullism than our intact brethren. We may have insurmountable difficulties reconciling ideas of what is acceptable and desirable for the pruned and intact. Navigating the best options in the endocrine battlefied above may be hard indeed. Perhaps try to decide what it is you really want from life now, and how that might affect your future. If the present goal and its consequences are acceptable, even desirable, get professional advice -I suspect endo is better- and enjoy the next stage of your life. He who hesitates.... But give it good quiet thought, then decide, then do.
It got a bit better since that post. I seems that I'm almost back to normal although it's not a linear development. I still don't want to go to a doctor because I would have to tell my parents why I have taken a hormone-test (since they are paying it) and they know that I used mones in the past. I think I'm over the 90% mark in respect of being back but it's also difficult to notice the differences to before in that region. Important to note that if I get back to normal it took me three times longer than I was on the meds. (and it wasn't even a potent dosage)
The annoying thing is that the fantasies about castration and feminization are creeping back big time which leaves me a bit in a limbo.
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