Castration does not eliminate libido, reduce it I suppose. The libido of non-castrated men varies quite a bit and goes down as they age. He could go on one year of chemical castration, and if it works get it finished surgically.
Castration does not eliminate libido, reduce it I suppose. The libido of non-castrated men varies quite a bit and goes down as they age. He could go on one year of chemical castration, and if it works get it finished surgically.
I have a high libido and I also suffer from depression, while I have castration fantasies; I think that they are not relevant here, I think that the solution is to think outside the box; he needs to find another outlet for his excess male energy for me it was kick boxing, sounds crazy but it worked I am 37 and I competed for the first time last year - I lost but it did not matter at all the physicality, the fear the emotional experience are so powerful it is incredible. Many, many men have unhappy lives because they put all of their masculinity into sex, you look at some pornography, it is so violent you can see this guy needs to let go and release his anger, men today - (no offense - we should not actually blame women for this at all) are often so domesticated at home or in the office, they have lost their identity and they are left with this mad fetid energy, we are designed to deal with fight or flight, to express our anger and frustration, it is our nature. It does not matter how old he is, he should get some counselling but honestly some hard physical activity is what he needs, preferable, with a little full contact. Trust me - it will completely change his outlook. Good luck.
i think the wife needs to know that her husband is probably gay or at best bi. my experiences have lead me to believe most men that want their balls removed are experiencing some guilt for their feelings or just want to be sub for another
Well the husband certainly needs to be in some form of counseling. Especially if he has ideas of suicide and/or castration as possible cures for his depression. No one would want him to get desperate enough to attempt anything and do some form of self-harm.
I'm very glad the Lady here is going to see someone to help her deal with him. It is hard to wrap your head around that you need help when you aren't the one with the depression. However being the spouse of a severely depressed person isn't easy. Having that objective ear to talk with is truly helpful. Everyone else in your lives have their own opinions and biases when offering advise. Whether to tell you its just a phase, or you have to get out and save yourself...objectivity is priceless (for an hourly fee)
What an interesting suggestion. I would not have thought of that. Thanks.Originally Posted by houseservant
I totally agree. As an otherwise very straight guy, I've been plagued my whole life with castration obsession including many serious injuries. It turned out that the cause was that really I didn't have any proper outlets for my masculinity: sexuality, aggression, and thrill-seeking. I was relatively nerdy and from a family of academics that basically looked down on sports ("why would a grown man chase around a ball?") and also am a generally sedate person. Yet I was extremely virile and first starting being obsessed with sex at age of 9. Since it is pretty hard to have sexual outlets beyond masturbation at age 9, and because masturbation is a furtive activity, I became extremely sexually frustrated -- I began to have this complex cycle of horniness, then aggressive thoughts towards women, then guilt, then aggressive thoughts towards myself, which created a huge rush of adrenaline and a feeling that "if I can stand the pain of hurting myself, then I am in control of these strong feelings" sort of deal.
Anyway, the way I have learned to manage my obsession was to find natural outlets -- basically revel in my manliness. I now take serious boxing training at a world-renowned MMA gym, and it has been totally transformative. I also have stopped feeling guilty about my sexual feelings towards women; so what if I want to shove my dick in pretty much any healthy-looking woman I meet during the day? I have also stopped feeling guilty about pornography or masturbation. I actually woke up to these latter attitudes by hanging out with some older Italian guys -- they were quite happy ogling women as they passed, commenting on them, etc. This initially made my politically correct hackles rise, but then I realized "that's how guys feel about women -- they're sexually attracted and that's okay". A side effect of all this was that I got quite a good body now, and my virility shines through, and I now have a great sex life that is close to satisfying and very little of the old cycle of frustration then self-harming obsession.
So definitely if overactive libido is your problem, I'd first of all say: do you have an intense exercise program that includes ways to channel your aggression (i.e. not just playing golf or biking type stuff). Secondly, have you made yourself as fit as possible to optimize your chances for having real sex? Third, have you embraced porn and masturbation as a natural, guilt-free outlet?
Basically, it is quite natural to be a horny, aggressive, thrill-seeking man -- embrace it rather than living in a cycle of frustration.
I just have to say "Thank you" again to everyone here. I don't know what I expected when I fisrt logged on, but it has been surpassed. I really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions, and just the understanding and openness.. Really, thank you.
Things have been kinda going on like normal. We talked about our sex life a bit, and things are actually a little more reved up now, so thats good. I do have my first therapy apt scheduled. But with DH he just acts as if he never told me he wanted a castration or divorce. He's supposed to see his psychiatrist in two weeks, and he said he'd talk to him about his mood swings and thoughts... I will press him to do so. The Dr also has some sort of electromagnetic wave helmet thing that he said cures depression for about 20 - 30% of people. Not a lot, but worth a try. DH was skeptical about it, but I would like him to try it out.
Smoothie36 - DH was pretty convienced that a castration would remove his libido - if you say that may not be the case, I'll have to do some more research on that, and share it with DH.
Houseservant - Short of DH getting therapy and better antidepressants, your adivce for major physical activity is some of the best I've heard. DH does like to bike ride pretty seriously.. like 25 -30 miles a ride. But he has not been going like he used to do. And I think thats a problem. But as SplitDik said, the exercise probably needs to be even more physical than bike riding. I do notice that DH is calmer when he can get the exercize in... but he has long hours at work, and exercize takes a back seat for him a lot.
SplitDik- You have described my husband as well as yourself... Nerdy, academic, above chasing a ball, lol He does like serious bike riding, and it does help when he can go more often... DH has embraced porn and masturbation and as far as I know he's not guilty over it.. and I'm ok with it and don't pressure him about it.. I do know that he finds oogling at girls distasteful on some level, and usually he seems more into whatever he's dooing than looking around for hot girls.. I point out hotties more than he does... and he complains about a particular friend who can't have a conversation without pointing out girls. I don't know if he has guilt over it or not... But I like your message of acceptance of who you are as a male who finds woman attractive, its ok. I think looking and even a little flirting is great and fun!! DH is not very physical, a bit akward, not into confrontation.. I don't know if he'd EVER get into anything like boxing... But maybe I could get him to embrace his maleness and take a more physical class like kickboxing or something. If nothing else, I need to get him to bike ride more than just on the weekends.
Rooster17
- Thank you for the suggestion, but I'm 99% sure that DH is not gay or bi. I've talked to him about it... I am Bi, he's friends with my gay guy friends and cool with it, but he's not even a bit bi-curious. And he's not so against it in a weird way either... you know? He's just pretty solidly hetro. He's very secure in his sexuality as far as that goes. He has no problem going into a gay bar with me or handeling unwanted advances... On the other hand, its not like he ever suggests going to the gay bar.. lol He'll just go if thats what turns out to happen... His own friends are straight... All his porn is girls with big boobies... lol He's ok with his body. The only reason he'd want a castration is to get rid of his libido becasue it causes him emotional pain to not know how to approach women and get laid (not that he even needs to now that we're married, but it still bothers him) And he's still frustraited with sex only about 2x a week...
Ok, will check in later.
Has anyone suggested he has hormone problems? This gives men depression like symptoms. It might be that he needs more testosterone to function. Or of course he has depression. Or he has both! That can be a serious problem if left untreated. Someone mentioned depression meds causing them lack of sex drive. If so, there are a lot of choices and if you work with the doctor I'm sure you can find a drug / dose that works. Talk therapy is just as good a plan and doing both is even better.
Having an Orchiectomy and not doing hormone replacement is (My opinion) a 100% sure fire way to give a guy depression. He may get used to it and the lack of energy, weight problems etc. But why? Your situation sounds like that would all be bad news for you.
Mr T(estosterone) - Not black or Jewish but working on it...
As straight male, I slowly lost all my libedo after several years. My wife was very happy with the situation. I liked not being driven by hormones. Much of the daily frustrations disappeared. We are more on an equal basis and we both are more satisfied.
I am with jonnsonrob, don't miss being driven by hormones, Much more content with life and I can always take a pill to get it up if I need to.
Hello There,
If he is so inclined for castration, I think nothing will work. Sooner or later he would keep thinking of castration. Any castration thoughts when come to mind, I am sure it translates into reality as anxiety is difficult to cope up. He will surely come out of depression and he will be calm after castration like other men.It will be also better for you, if you have no interest in sex.
I am married and castrated 10 months ago its great my labido is very low, I take a very low dose of T so I have a very low drive and can get hard and come it takes some time but it still happens. I love the new calm low labido me and so does my wife. I hope this helps others.
Thanks
Orchiectomy performed 01/2012 and I love it.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body;
but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming:
"WOW...WHAT A RIDE!!!"
I want to thank Danielle and her initial post three years ago about alcohol injections in the testicles, and those brave individuals who have followed her suggestions, for having freed so many of us of unwanted testicles and over-active libidos. Thank you Danielle, and those leaders, who have made it easy for us to accomplish our goals.
im with your husband, wife, feel like him. But my wife will never aggree with my castration, although we very rare are in sex. she hasnt sexdrive more after her fiftieth. I think, that the harmony would be better, when my test.-level would decrease. Over the whole day a man thinks only about sex. Sex is every hour in his brain. I believe , you and all wifes cant imagine this!
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