A new step in my life: looking for what I should really be...

[impotentus]

I am 24 years old. a few years back, I found this archive. I truly suffered when it became momentarily shut-down. as I am writing this, a new oportunity has risen in my life. I decided to leave my family (father, mother a brother and sister) and TRY to live by myself. By myself, I am a male nurse, have two jobs, and I am moving to another house to live my own life. Life in family is great, but I want to start to detach from them, because, well, I want to grow, mentally, spiritually, and morally. So far everybody in my house knows I´m gay, while everybody says it´s ok and they "seem" to accept it, reality is another thing. I know, for example that my sister looks down on me (technically, it doesn´t matter to me). I´ve been severely depressed a few days, 5 or 6 i don´t know. I want to thank you all for being so king to me, giving me advice, guiding me, scolding me (I´ll accept it, i really needed it). I took this decision a few days, in order to avoid more fights in my family. I am not going to stop coming here though, it´s just I won´t have access to a PC in a While, I just want to wish you a very happy year and a great life to you all. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for all the inconveniencs that I caused you, and even then let me give you a lot of good best wishes to you all.
BTW, as I am writing this, my dog, a female chihuahua, has been crying for three days in a row, as If it´d know about my desicion. ´where i am going to live, they don´t accept animals, and it will have to stay with my mother... it´s very devastating to see it crying in that way...
THANK YOU TO ALL, YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING GOOD AND USEFUL YOU CAN HAVE FROM ME, I WISH YOU LUCK AND LIGHT IN YOUR JOURNEY...
IMPOTENTUS

[Cainanite]

Good luck on your move. I hope this allows you to grow and change in the ways you need.

Living alone can be daunting, but very rewarding. It is a very good way to get to know yourself. Be prepared for some lonely nights at first. I remember how lonely I was when I first got my own place. It is an adjustment, but well worth it.

We hope to see you here again when you get back online. Until then, my good wishes go with you.

[justjustin]

Good luck. You can be more free sometimes, living on your own.

[Littledick]

Good Luck in your move.

If you get a chance log in from an internet cafe and keep intouch.

[impotentus]

Thank you all, so far, I´ve wandered around there and it´s realli a nice place to live, about the lonely nights, it´s a matter of time, I think I like the solitude as it is.

[wayne_88]

good luck...

[irvingtx]

Wonderful news! My testicles are shrinking much faster than planned and I'm already feeling the benefits of dropping testorone. It was 1270, which normal for my age would be 350. It will be nice to be normal.

[impotentus]

An update: tomorrow, I´m gonna move everything else I own to my new home. The first things I thought I´d take, are the last ones I should take. I also have quite a lot of clothing and a lot of other items to move on. My mother and fatehr are anguished about my decision, but, well,. I gotta grow. I´ve recently analyzed this place and everything seems fine. itá nice place to live and there are some things that I wanna try by myself. (Full chemical castration forexample) About the lonely nights, I don´t mind too much. I know it´s daunting, challenging, you name it. But it´s also, fun, exciting, enjoyable and somewhat more controlled that where I live now. I am packing everything in order to move it tomorrow. I´l keep you posted about this. ONCE AGAIN, THANKS TO EVERYONE IN THIS FORUM WHO HELPED ME, SCOLDED ME, GUIDED ME, OR GIVING ME A HAND TO DISCOVER THIS DAILY MESS WE KNOW AS LIFE.

[Cainanite]

Congratulations.

I hope your move goes smoothly.

Keep us informed on your progress.

[impotentus]

Good evening to everyone here. It`s a whole 5 days since I moved from my house to my new location. I found out that the place is actually quite nice. However, loneliness is not a matter in my life. I enjoy being alone. there is less, well, A LOT LESS stress in myself now. I finally moved the last things and furniture that was remaining in my home. I spent the last two days rearranging these.despite the mess that my room is now. there`s a lot of inner calm and peace now. A state which I colud never reach in my previous home. I feel like a new person. I am still going to rearrange a lot of clothing (mainly) in my new home, a few furniture,
and other minor things. However, By putting myself through this, I know i am growing, mentally and personally. Moving on has been a nice experience in my life, loneliness is just a "thing" in my life, and it`s not that important. I´l keep you posted about this. ONCE AGAIN, THANKS TO EVERYONE IN THIS FORUM WHO HELPED ME, SCOLDED ME, GUIDED ME, OR GIVING ME A HAND TO DISCOVER THIS DAILY MESS WE KNOW AS LIFE.

[gandalf]

Moving is always a hassle. Glad yours is working out well. The one thing I have found with moves is you usually get rid of excess things you no longer need.

[fhunter]

As Gandalf said, moving can be a problem (depending on the amount of your stuff). In Russia we say: "one move is equal to two fires".
Congratulations.

[impotentus]

Has been a whole ten days since I moved. Things are gonig smoothly, and I got myself at home here. In fact, I threw away a lot of "useful trash" items that were of very little or almost no use. I am still arranging my other belongings to here, though. Even when I discarded a lot of trash, I still have work to do. Things tend to go my way now, I`ve achieved a lot of inner peaqce and calmness now. My soul and spirit and my mind are at calm now, in a state which was almost imposible to reach in my former home. My mood seems to have improved a lot too, as I am becoming much more patient. I am losing a bit of weight now, but not because hunger or starvation, it`s because of a lot less stress in my life. I am noticing, I eat pretty small amounts of food when I am alone, and thats it, if I am in the mood to eat, as I usually tennd to ignore hunger when lonely. Next week, I made an appointment with a fellow doctor to gime another depoprovera shot, as I wanna try a chemical castration trial. BTW, I`got used to loneliness, it`s not that important, it`s just... something... not really that important. I´l keep you posted about this. ONCE AGAIN, THANKS TO EVERYONE IN THIS FORUM WHO HELPED ME, SCOLDED ME, GUIDED ME, OR GIVING ME A HAND TO DISCOVER THIS DAILY MESS WE KNOW AS LIFE.