Are there many married men getting castrated without telling their wives?

[gunnutz]

True, but punkypink has a point. Granted that bad news travels fast and that EA is not exactly a valid statistical cross section of the world's population, still 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce.

Sandi

That is true but how many of those marriages end with the people still being friends versus openly scorning each other?

Besides as painful as a divorce can be for everyone involved 50% is not all that bad. I survived two divorces as a kid.

[punkypink]

True, but punkypink has a point. Granted that bad news travels fast and that EA is not exactly a valid statistical cross section of the world's population, still 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce.

Sandi

Ah, but I would also put forth the point that a marriage that ends in divorce need not have been an unhappy one, could just have been an incompatible one, where both parties are sensible enough to end before it turns unhappy.

While a marriage that lasts may not be a happy one, as some people here are clearly showing to be the case.

[smoothie36]

If anyone wants to discuss this privately, sent me a note.

smoothie

[janekane]

True, but punkypink has a point. Granted that bad news travels fast and that EA is not exactly a valid statistical cross section of the world's population, still 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce.

Sandi

The fact (I take it to be factual) that about 50% of US marriages end in divorce is because some folks have multiple marriages and multiple divorces.

Because of those who are married and divorced more than once are a fair number, it is also true that, in the US, most people who get married do not get divorced?

[noxmagnus]

I think that's because people expect relationships to be easy and painless...... but relationships, marital or even just friendships involve people and emotions, which take alot of work.

[loving2swallow]

You guys are all twisted ;o). There are a lot of things I don't discuss. I feel bad because she discusses everything with me. I guess I've been lucky that I found two totally honest women that loved me. They were not in it for the money. Although all the struggle and pain we went through in my first marriage broke my ex. She gave up on life and went from a nurse to a bar maid.

My experimenting started when I was 9. I love the feel of torturing myself and never discussed it with my wives. If anything I think I kept them around for my security. The only man I really loved died from an over dose right after Anna Nicole Smith died from the same one. The VA in Cleveland killed him.

I'm still undecided what I want but I do know I want to keep my testicles even if I have my little "Stanley" chopped off. I've been trying to disable it but it's quite resillient. If I can't kill all of it I'm trying to break it enough that I have to have part of it cut off. Then I may be able to convince the doctor to remove all of it.

My current wife as I mentioned tells me everything. She has told me throught most of our marriage that she doesn't love me the way a wife should. I know she has prejudice parents due to the country she's from. She tells me all the time that she feels the same way but... After 10 years I finally got her to admit she lost her virginity to a black man. I think some of her mental problems are caused by the fact that I think (but she won't admit) that she loved the guy. I actually think that if she had the chance she would be happy if we never had sex again. She has mentioned it but then waivers due to feeling bad telling me that.

If I do get lucky enough to have some or all of it chopped off. I'm going to suggest she finds a boyfriend to fulfill her needs but... she really isn't into making love or just plain sex. When we do mess around it's about 6-12 times a year. My ex and I would go at it 5-6 times a day. Seriously.

My point being, not all women use men. Some do love us or are at least honest to us. Some like my current wife, need us for comfort and security, not money or sex.

[loving2swallow]

DeaconBlue - that's also my opinion. It#s my body... and my wife only expects that I can guarantee her life in wealthy conditions. Very rarely you will find a woman who can feel love; most of them hate men and would take and spend the money of men.
My wife will not notice if I was or will be castrated. There is no sexual intercourse for more then 20 years. Like other women she hates my genital equipment, she even hates it to look at me when I am naked, casually. To be married is really bad luck and the biggest fault I have done

I feel sorry for you. Not all women are that way. If you are into being castrated then I guess you have the perfect wife. If you are only in it because of your wife. Maybe you need to dump her and find someone else. Good luck with whatever you do.

[loving2swallow]

I guess to be fair we have to remember many of them may be from another generation where social pressures to get married probably means people leap into marriages. I've learnt that to like and love someone is often a huge step away from living together.

My second marriage was a forced marriage. We liked each other and enjoyed spending time together but... The only way for us to be together due to immigration was to get married. The USA only gives you 90 days once you get your fiance visa. If you haven't figured out by now, I'm Bi. My wife has been dumped a couple times, the first time was by her long time boyfriend because she wasn't ready for sex. The last time was a fiance who's family never agreed. Although she has told me she never fell in love with me. Her actions are confusing but if I left I truly belive she would be devistated. For her marriage to me seems to be a comfort thing not a sexual thing. That's why I'm pretty sure she would be happy if I did lose "Stanley".

[punkypink]

My second marriage was a forced marriage. We liked each other and enjoyed spending time together but... The only way for us to be together due to immigration was to get married. The USA only gives you 90 days once you get your fiance visa. If you haven't figured out by now, I'm Bi. My wife has been dumped a couple times, the first time was by her long time boyfriend because she wasn't ready for sex. The last time was a fiance who's family never agreed. Although she has told me she never fell in love with me. Her actions are confusing but if I left I truly belive she would be devistated. For her marriage to me seems to be a comfort thing not a sexual thing. That's why I'm pretty sure she would be happy if I did lose "Stanley".

My reference to forced marriages is more about the social expectation to marry, such as parents who go "when are you getting married" and being viewed as being socially disreputable(playboy/gay) by a conservative society if one remains unmarried for long.

But I suppose yes, immigratory regulations are yet another form of pressure thay really skews marriage statistics.

[datyiasp]

to be real fair though, a man who is castrated isn't necessarily not a man anymore. If having not having testicles means one is not a man, then that is a huge affront to men who continue identifying as men after losing their testes due to illness or accident, as well as trans men who were born without testicles, and there is also the added implication that trans women born with testes are not women.

But with something that life-changing, it's still respectful to discuss it with one's PARTNER(whether in a straight or gay relationship). I mean, let's put gender and sex aside, if someone wanted their arm, or leg removed, I'd think it's still respectful to discuss it with the spouse.

I agree 100% with all of Emily's assessments in this entire thread.


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[Arab Nights]

Whoa there, even in a bitter marriage there should be some level of communication.

I have to side with 2 swollen. I have actually thought for a couple of days on this. I cannot put my finger on exactly what I want to say. Basically, it is that two people are working together towards surviving and reproducing in the world while more or less covering each others basic emotional needs. If one wants to take off 2 years to study and change careers, that should be shared in the partnership against the world. If one wants to have a leg cut off, well, that affects the work chances and should be shared in the partnership. If one wants to be castrated, well, that affects the meeting basic needs within the partnership and should be discussed.

I can buy that within a marriage a person has their own track. But things affecting sexuality are so basic that it just should be a partnership discussion.

Talk with her. Maybe she will say yes and we will see your balls on eBay in earings.

[KingOfHearts]

Communication is literally the key component of human beings evolving. That, and of course, tools. But it's proven that apes and other types of monkeys can use tools, though extremely basic. What they do lack is communication. People have needs. By entering into a relationship with a person, you've taken on the responsibility of taking into account the livelihood, happiness and general necessities of the other person. You should definitely talk this out.

[smoothie36]

I see no problem getting castrated without you wife being aware if it is not a problem within your marriage. Typically intimacy in these situations is not part of the marriage.

[Wellesley]

I agree with smoothie36, married men considering bilateral orchietomy. Wives are usually frigid or otherwise asexual I think

[Wolf-Pup]

I see no problem getting castrated without you wife being aware if it is not a problem within your marriage. Typically intimacy in these situations is not part of the marriage.

What if the wife just up and got a double-mastectomy? Does THAT matter? What if something goes wrong and after castration an massive infection occurs? Surgery affects your other-half regardless of intimacy. If the marriage is so far gone that communication is dead, get divorced first. Otherwise it is a PARTNERSHIP, a bond for life or until you grow weary of each other and split up. Not telling her and talking it through with her (or him for that matter for gay married couples) is a form of betrayal. Trust can be lost, and may or not be re-earned.