Becoming the person that I am

[graylayer02]

Thanks Fhunter, Losethem, and Jesus.

Never in a million years, when I first became active here about four years ago, did I think that I would also find true love here. THAT is the most surprising aspect of the past four years. True love is watching DVDs with your boyfriend and cuddling while his crotch heals from a surgery that you would have been fine without him getting, all the while fighting the temptation to go outside and get some sun.

[kristoff]

A bit late... Congratulations on achieving some strong and long held desires!

[graylayer02]

Thanks Fhunter, Losethem, and Jesus.

Never in a million years, when I first became active here about four years ago, did I think that I would also find true love here. THAT is the most surprising aspect of the past four years. True love is watching DVDs with your boyfriend and cuddling while his crotch heals from a surgery that you would have been fine without him getting, all the while fighting the temptation to go outside and get some sun.

FYI, I'm the one who had the surgery, not my boyfriend. There seems to be no edit feature on the current version of the boards where I could clarify my language on this in post 61 above.

[Cuckolder]

Enjoy the dickless rest of your Life!!! Hope it will be like you expect it....:-) and from now on you will for sure not be the penetrating guy...Wish you a fullfilling sexuality...

[graylayer02]

Update, T+15 days.

I'm back at 'home' in Germany and things are beginning to settle down. The clit isn't acting up ALL the time and some of the swelling, bruising, odd bits of pain, etc. are slowly beginning to go away. Still, it was odd going to work, sitting in a meeting, and realizing why I was adjusting my position every now and then.

It still feels a bit like I have a hardon (thanks to thraddash for putting it that way) but now when I sit down or walk, the rubbing isn't 100% unpleasant. I know to expect some time, but it's just weird at this point. No real bulge in front of my jeans, sitting down to pee. I have finally had my 'wow I really did it' moment.

[Dave]

You'll have a few of those moments of "wow, I did it." You are going to notice lots of changes over the next few months.

[Danya]

I am pleased to learn you have achieved what you wanted and that life is so good for you now.

[thraddash]

Hey Gray,

I'm sure your happy to be back in your own country. So what is your excuse when people ask why your limping around? The "riding a wild elephant" story is getting old over here :P

Thraddash

[Milkman]

Do you now have a vagina that can be penetrated ? How long will the healing take ?

[graylayer02]

Hey Thraddash,

I'm not actually limping around, just walking slowly. A few of my friends know, while the rest of my coworkers are moving a bit slowly since they're hung over from a big festival right outside my office.. I've gotten to plead jetlag, a lack of good sleep, and a bit of a cold. I've been sleeping 11 hours per night, but thankfully I get to set my own hours.

How's your healing going? Mine actually got quite a bit better as I was on the plane on the way back despite the hard chairs in BKK Airport. It's also getting easier to keep clean.

Mine...the color of that thing is getting much better, but my clit is still bugging me a bit (especially on the left side; it feels like there's still a dissolvable suture there) and the swelling is still a bit high. I did feel around there yesterday morning (morning wood!) and I think that I'm going to like this once it settles down. In the meantime, I've still got to be careful and not overdo things.

@Milkman,

No, I went for a very minimalistic package: Small labia, a clit, and a peehole, though my boyfriend (who hasn't seen many of these things in person) still is worried that it looks too feminine. I share his concerns; there was a tradeoff between the way it looks and the way it feels. I didn't want to have to dilate, and the way that the initial healing went, I made the right decision. The thing would have closed up pretty quickly, and healing is unpleasant enough as things are. Life is still somewhat unpleasant as my energy levels are low, but that should fix itself over the next month or so.

[thraddash]

Hey Thraddash,

I'm not actually limping around, just walking slowly. A few of my friends know, while the rest of my coworkers are moving a bit slowly since they're hung over from a big festival right outside my office.. I've gotten to plead jetlag, a lack of good sleep, and a bit of a cold. I've been sleeping 11 hours per night, but thankfully I get to set my own hours.

How's your healing going? Mine actually got quite a bit better as I was on the plane on the way back despite the hard chairs in BKK Airport. It's also getting easier to keep clean.

Mine...the color of that thing is getting much better, but my clit is still bugging me a bit (especially on the left side; it feels like there's still a dissolvable suture there) and the swelling is still a bit high. I did feel around there yesterday morning (morning wood!) and I think that I'm going to like this once it settles down. In the meantime, I've still got to be careful and not overdo things.

Well I'm about 1 month in now. My labia majora have softened a lot, and is obviously a lot more pleasant. I'm also still very swollen, it feels like a ponche full of water down there when I walk around. But I think it looks loads better from a week ago.

Since the swelling has gone down a little I can feel a nub beneath the skin on the right side, I don't really have anyone to ask if this is normal? I think any normal doctor will first be concerned about the lack of a certain appendage.

I have also informed my best friend that I have done this, and he is just fine with it. But I don't want to tell anyone at work still, I don't think they are as open minded.

In my opinion, wearing a dress would be nice right now, so that the area wouldn't be so constricted. Maybe one to match my cute panties :P ...if only things were that easily accepted, LOL!

Keep well Gray, if you heal faster than me I'm gonna get pissed!!!!

Thraddash

[graylayer02]

Well I'm about 1 month in now. My labia majora have softened a lot, and is obviously a lot more pleasant. I'm also still very swollen, it feels like a ponche full of water down there when I walk around. But I think it looks loads better from a week ago.

Since the swelling has gone down a little I can feel a nub beneath the skin on the right side, I don't really have anyone to ask if this is normal? I think any normal doctor will first be concerned about the lack of a certain appendage.

I have also informed my best friend that I have done this, and he is just fine with it. But I don't want to tell anyone at work still, I don't think they are as open minded.

In my opinion, wearing a dress would be nice right now, so that the area wouldn't be so constricted. Maybe one to match my cute panties :P ...if only things were that easily accepted, LOL!

Keep well Gray, if you heal faster than me I'm gonna get pissed!!!!

Thraddash

I'll race you.

Right now some thongs are fitting pretty nicely, but I can't use them throughout the day because of that sanitary pad. Some of my pouchier briefs do look a bit funny, but I'll grow used to this.

[thraddash]

I'll race you.

Although Im 2 weeks "older" than you, I think your previous endeavour has given you a head start, as you have less to heal from

[nonuts]

Thanks Fhunter, Losethem, and Jesus.

Never in a million years, when I first became active here about four years ago, did I think that I would also find true love here. THAT is the most surprising aspect of the past four years. True love is watching DVDs with your boyfriend and cuddling while his crotch heals from a surgery that you would have been fine without him getting, all the while fighting the temptation to go outside and get some sun.

I read this, and I found it so romantic. It's true how many guys go through something like this? Fly to Thailand to be with their boyfriend, who has just been modified in ways you'd never really considered your "boy"friend being.

As to fine without you getting done, yeah, but you weren't so that has a huge impact on how you'd be happy in life in general and with me in particular. The parts that are there now, maybe a bit fem, but, I'm hoping much less so as the swelling goes down, either way, you're happy with it, and I'll learn to be. It's odd to me yes, since my last close up view of female genitals was during birth, and thankfully I don't remember that at all.

[graylayer02]

Thanks nonuts. That really meant a lot to me. You're a sweet guy.

I'm at T plus, call it over 3 1/2 weeks here. The longer-lasting sutures are still coming out and now I feel somewhat lifelike and even have a spring in my step. There's still a fair amount of gunk but not as much as before. The swelling is also beginning to go down. It's still a while before I do anything athletic, but this is just as I predicted.

I also switched my HRT to the gel since both my doctor and I were concerned about the spike-plateau-crash pattern which drove me kind of nuts. We'll see how this works out.

I'm also trying to think of names for my new equipment. My inner monologue calls it my 'vuvezela'. Does anyone have any ideas?