California

[Kangan]

So as not to be outdone by all the Redneck,
Hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody came
up with this.

You know you're from California if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and
none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't
afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two
people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple
hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two
mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where
your coffee beans are grown and you can taste
the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally
move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than
anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy sitting in
Starbucks at 8:30 a.m. wearing a baseball cap
and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney
really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your
house payment.

13. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a
report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground
and the children are all busy with their cell
phones or Ipods.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you
leave for work an hour early
to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY, Is Pot Illegal?

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists,
psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic
surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your
driver's license. If you're here illegally,
they want to give you one

[Kangan]

I think that #1 above would also apply to many EA users....

[MacTheWolf]

I thought #3 was hillarious but true. When I was a kid in this neighborhood, we had one black family, one hispanic family and the rest of us were caucasian (civilised rednecks).

Now, mine is the only minority household in a neighborhood of 20% black and 75% hispanic.

Hell, I get offended when I call one of the utility companies and the robot starts out with "press 1 for english."

My town has a Spanish name but in past was only about 22% hispanic. Census says by 2010 hispanics will increase to 61% of my town... not counting the undocumented workers.

I get the impression I will soon need to learn to "habla en espanol."

Now, where did I hide my stash?

[IbPervert]

21. The only state that will vote a creepy governor out of office (Governor Browne) and then reelect him to be the states chief attorney!

[skivvynine]

I lived for forty years except for the eight years I was in the Air Force, in Northern California - Marin, Sonoma Counties. When I moved there in 1960, California was a great place to live. But now Califonia and New York are vying for the distinction of taxing the populace the most. I think as of the writing of this response, California is leading. I live in Albuquerque, NM where you can still buy a house - 3500 square feet - for the price of a three bedroom two bath house on a quarter acre lot in California.

[Danya]

I'll admit it. I love California but I've never lived there. I have spent lots of time there, though. Perhaps that was the inspriation for my single body piercing. Just like in #1, it is not visible.

[Riverwind]

I have lived all over the state of California, born and raised in LA. Its true Cal was a nice place up tell about 1965 or so, its been going down hill ever sense.

#1

#5 #8 #13 and #17 I don't remember but I did not inhale.

River

[jemagirl]

7. You have a very strong opinion about where
your coffee beans are grown and you can taste
the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

Sumatran has a musty, muddy, earthy kind of flavor while Ethiopian is lighter and nuttier with hints of citrus.... Hey I can't remember... is pot legal???

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a
report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

I wish I had paid attention to the storm warning. I came into my art studio to find that my roof was leaking and both of my computer keyboards were soaked with water. I just spent the last two hours at the work bench over a cup of coffee, disassembling them so I could dry out the membranes and electronics. I could really enjoy sitting back with some 420, but I can't remember if it's legal

[StefanIsMe]

I wish I had paid attention to the storm warning. I came into my art studio to find that my roof was leaking and both of my computer keyboards were soaked with water. I just spent the last two hours at the work bench over a cup of coffee, disassembling them so I could dry out the membranes and electronics. I could really enjoy sitting back with some 420, but I can't remember if it's legal

My only hint is keep the front-half of the keyboard face down, under no circumstances flip it in the rinsing / airing process; I had a bugger of a time fitting all the little letters back into the correct spots (you have to do it upside down, see, to be sure you're putting it in the right space... holding the frame, head tilted, other hands fingers fumbling for keys, smoke drifting in the eyes, knowing that smoke is perfectly illegal.... aye carumba).

Also, after about 4 days, pushing "t" resulted in "k" appearing on-screen.... but not the vice-versa, which would have been workable. Mentioning red nuns would have resulted in references to Sister Krisker, and I'm not sure that would be fair

[jemagirl]

My only hint is keep the front-half of the keyboard face down, under no circumstances flip it in the rinsing / airing process; I had a bugger of a time fitting all the little letters back into the correct spots (you have to do it upside down, see, to be sure you're putting it in the right space... holding the frame, head tilted, other hands fingers fumbling for keys, smoke drifting in the eyes, knowing that smoke is perfectly illegal.... aye carumba).

Also, after about 4 days, pushing "t" resulted in "k" appearing on-screen.... but not the vice-versa, which would have been workable. Mentioning red nuns would have resulted in references to Sister Krisker, and I'm not sure that would be fair

No worries. I've got both keyboards working perfectly at this point. I used a little silicon spray where the keys slide and now the keyboard works even better than when it was new. Some how I seem to get a lot of experience fixing keyboards. People always spill stuff like coffee wine or juice while they are at work. Red wine is the worst by the way. To avoid this in the future, I'm keeping my keyboards well away from where the roof leaked. I don't want to get any better at this than I already am.

[Ernie of Maine]

jemagirl you mite want to fix the roof or maybeone or more protictive covers for the keyboads. Just though it's a Maine thing

[jemagirl]

jemagirl you mite want to fix the roof or maybeone or more protictive covers for the keyboads. Just though it's a Maine thing

Actually the reason the roof leaked was because I had put an extraction fan in the sunroof to get rid of any fumes I might produce as a result of my photography or art. So I've taken out the fan and closed the sunroof until the weather improves enough to put it back in.

[MacTheWolf]

I have lived all over the state of California, born and raised in LA. Its true Cal was a nice place up tell about 1965 or so, its been going down hill ever sense.

#1

#5 #8 #13 and #17 I don't remember but I did not inhale.

River

See, that's how we improve California: bring Riverwind back here.

• he'd be closer to Ken_SD, plix, myself and IEunuch
• he'd be in a climate where he wouldn't freeze every winter.

[daveyjones]

I think that non-Californians should stop complaining about the way we drive. Every accident I've been in (whilst driving a taxi) were caused by East coasters that hadn't a clue as to how to drive in the rain. My brother, having lived in New Jersey for 5 years, told me that driving back there is like riding the bumper car rides at an amusement park. Any weather, and it's hilarious. Watching a guy in Buffalo, NY with a monster 4X4, and he cannot move in the snow, because he hasn't engaged the front wheels...sitting there, spinning like an idiot. The biggest complaint I get from out of staters is that Californians slow down in the rain. It's no wonder that they are always smacking into the backs of tractor-trailer rigs. They seem not to know that the first hour of a rain, no matter how light, is the most treacherous to drive. They've also never seen parts of the San Fernando Valley under 20 feet of water because of a few inches of rain. Funny, I've never heard complaints from our compatriots from Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, or Texas. I guess, like Californians, they too have to deal with flash floods and hazardous wind conditions.
Anyone really wants to learn how to drive? Then drive a truck, taxi or motorcycle. Then you really see the bad versus good drivers out there.
One more thing for all of us Californians. We should all be anxiously awaiting July, as that is when it becomes illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving (without an hands-free device). It mystifies my as to why people can afford top of the line cars, top of the line cell phones, and yet won't invest $10.00 to $20.00 on a simple hands-free device. There is a piece of stupidity regardless of what state your in.

May all of your traffic lights be green, and may you bikers keep the rubber side down.

[markdf]

My brother, having lived in New Jersey for 5 years, told me that driving back there is like riding the bumper car rides at an amusement park. Any weather, and it's hilarious. Watching a guy in Buffalo, NY with a monster 4X4, and he cannot move in the snow, because he hasn't engaged the front wheels...sitting there, spinning like an idiot.

This is true everywhere. I live in Vancouver, where it rains for 2 days out of every 3. And even here, the fact that the roads are wet and slippery always seems to take drivers completely by surprise every single time.