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Thread: my first condom

  1. #1
    rustproof bottom twaddler's Avatar
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    my first condom

    I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a
    packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant
    behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me
    the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.

    I honestly answered, 'No. this is my first time' So she unwrapped the
    package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to
    make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused.
    So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
    'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

    Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and
    removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?'
    she asked.

    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.

    She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on,
    she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well,
    come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was
    so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I
    was done within a few minutes.

    She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she
    asked.

    I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

    She fainted.

    --

    ** I think fainting sounds a bit unrealistic. Slapping, or strangulation would be better.
    He's a 46yr-old billionaire who still lives with his mother.

  2. #2

    Re: my first condom

    I remember that I waited for a man attendant to show me the condoms when I first bought condoms at the drug store. He said, "We have single condoms, 3 packs and 12 packs." Well which should I get I said. "The singles are for that occasional need. The 3 packs are good for young couples to use on the weekend. That gives you one for Friday night, one for Saturday night and the last one for Sunday afternoon," he said.

    OK then that is clear, but what is the 12 pack for? I asked.

    He replied that, "Oh the 12 pack, that is for married couples; one for January, one for February, one for March and so on ....."

    I just bought a single one and slipped out of the store.

  3. #3
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    Love Ya Re: my first condom

    I was emmberassed to buy my first condom. I walked in and looked around and then went red faced up to the pharmacist.

    I whispered to him if I could buy a condom.

    He shouted "NO! we only sell them by the box" just as a lady walked over.

    I slithered out of the store and returned when it was empty, but I was still nervous.

    I asked him how much a box was,

    "Oh, we have a box of three for a dollar."

    I told him I could afford that.

    He rang it up on the cash register and announced. "With the tax that comes to a dollar and seven cents.

    He said I gasped tax before I hit the floor.

    I never imagined you needed tacks to keep them on.

  4. #4
    The Rest of the Story Riverwind's Avatar
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    Re: my first condom

    I have 4 sons, my ex and I bought the condoms put them in this basket and told the boys never leave home without one. It was the don't ask don't tell rule.

    River
    He who would trade liberty for some temporary security, deserves neither liberty nor security.

    Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays instead of serving you if he sacrifices it to your opinion.
    Edmund Burke

  5. #5

    Re: my first condom

    If I recall correctly, River bought his first condom when he served under General Blackjack Pershing in World War One

  6. #6
    jenny
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    Love Ya Re: my first condom

    I had a boy friend who wanted to have sex, and knowing how little control they had, i told him ok but only if you wear a condom, twice he went into the shop to buy them and twice he came out empty handed?

    needless to say he did not get his leg over

  7. #7

    Re: my first condom

    Quote Originally Posted by MacTheWolf View Post
    If I recall correctly, River bought his first condom when he served under General Blackjack Pershing in World War One
    Wasnt that back when they were making them out of fish bladders or sheepskin?
    Nuke a Gay Baby Whale for Jesus

  8. #8
    No T Eunuch since 12/06/97 tugon's Avatar
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    Re: my first condom

    You can reuse condoms if you turn them inside out and shake the fuck out of them.
    Tugon (two gone)

    “Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”

    Andrew Boyd

  9. #9
    rustproof bottom twaddler's Avatar
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    Re: my first condom

    I would like to see a condom dispenser like one they have for bags at the supermarket, only mounted on a belt. anyways.. just popped into my head.
    He's a 46yr-old billionaire who still lives with his mother.

  10. #10
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    Re: my first condom

    My nephew once did the "I have a date" thing with hints, winks and nudges. When I didn't way anything other than "good for you" he continued to hint at getting laid on the date.
    Sadly disgusted, I went into my bathroom, raided my supply of scented adn flavored CONDOMS and gave him a handfull. His jaw hit the floor and he never hinted around like that again.
    I guess that was too honest.

  11. #11
    Bagoas
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    Re: my first condom

    When I was a kid, back in WWII, condoms were actually easier for a teenager to get than today. In the men's room of almost every gas station, there was a vending machine selling condoms "solely for the prevention of disease" for 25 cents.

    Before you get excited about that price, let me point out that it was equivalent in buying power to $2.95 today.

  12. #12

    Re: my first condom

    Quote Originally Posted by Bagoas View Post
    When I was a kid, back in WWII, condoms were actually easier for a teenager to get than today. In the men's room of almost every gas station, there was a vending machine selling condoms "solely for the prevention of disease" for 25 cents.

    Before you get excited about that price, let me point out that it was equivalent in buying power to $2.95 today.
    Most gas stations still have 'em today, especially in light of the STD / HIV pandemic. Most around here (Minnesota) sell for 6 bits (75 cents) in the vending machines.
    Nuke a Gay Baby Whale for Jesus

  13. #13
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    Re: my first condom

    Quote Originally Posted by kristoff View Post
    Most gas stations still have 'em today, especially in light of the STD / HIV pandemic. Most around here (Minnesota) sell for 6 bits (75 cents) in the vending machines.
    I know of a gas station/truck stop/resturant about an hour from here that in the mens room is a vending machine selling 3 varieties of codoms as well as "assorted adult novelties" [that's how it's advertised, you just stick your quarters in and you get random "novelties"]

  14. #14
    markdf
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    Re: my first condom

    I can't work a single shift without having to convince some horny moron that gas stations are the WRONG place to buy prophylactics. I suppose I shouldn't be down-selling ... but goddam it, I can't stand to see a man pay more than he has to for a nickel's worth of latex.

    My first condoms? Actually it was completely a non-issue. Compared with the difficulties of getting laid in the first place, getting some condoms or an rX for the pill is trivial by comparison. After all, think of it this way: if you've gone to all the trouble of seducing some pretty young thing, do you really want to get shut down because you're too much of a pussy to walk up to the check-out girl at the drugstore with a box of condoms?

    Thank god I was raised in a liberal culture in which I was educated about condoms, secretions, clitorises, and all that other good stuff by the time I was 9 years old. I feel the deepest pity and contempt for those who are forced to suffer in repressed, conservative, sex-hating societies.

  15. #15
    Considering
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    Re: my first condom

    Growing up in South Africa one needed a prescription to purchase condoms. It was an easy thing to request my physician for one which he, without comment, wrote out. The chemist had no problem in selling them-as prescribed. And I had no difficulty in seducing the man next door. As happens, the condoms weren't part of this but it was an interesting experience-both the purchase and the seduction. Of course, I was but twelve and had quite a lot to learn. Now, fifty five years later, I'm still learning.

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