If penises could talk...

[glans]

If penises could talk, think of all the stories they'd tell: Where they have been, what they have done, what has been done to them....
My own would tell stories of 55+ years of piercing, cutting, modifying, burning, banding, etc.

And think of what they'd say about their owners. Might be interesting to hear their side of the story for a change, given that owners are always saying what they think about their penises.

And how about the questions they'd ask?
Mine would ask me why on one day I take such good care of it, and on the next day seem to try to destroy it. And that's a question I really can't answer.

[FianceeUvBigGuy]

Well, given that I was born with a dash instead of a dot and thus have no penis (hereafter referred to as "peepee") to interview, I'll have to interrogate or take depositions from those of my male acquaintances. Of course, I'd start with eunuch friend/occasional bedmate Barry's lil' peepee.

Yolanda: So, Mr. BPP (Barry's Peepee), what was life like before your little friends went bye-bye.

BPP: It was nice enough, except I kept getting all stiff for lots of wrong reasons and at wrong times.

Yolanda: OK, I understand. What was the immediate effect, if any, of their departure?

BPP: B (BPP's "carrier?) cried a little, off and on, as he was castrated and for a few days afterward. As for me, I still felt pretty much the same for a few weeks, but then started spending more time relaxing and reading poetry.
I noticed that I felt kinda lazy, and I seemed to sleep more.

To be continued, if requested. Gotta go finish party preps.

Love,

Yoli, The Raving Roving Reporter.

[balletkyle]

Hmmm, Isn't there already enough Dicks who voice their thoughts in this world?
I don't want mine so why would I want to hear what it has to say?

[wolverine1]

awwwwww!

a poor lil' unloved willy!? tell ya what balletkyle, if you post him to the UK, i'll take good care of him for you!

If mine could talk?...

probably something along the lines of... "bugger me, it's bloody dark in this hole!"

[sapient]

I think mine would say something like:

"Well, we started out as friends, but... I don't know. Was it something I did? After a few relationships and screwing around - which basicaly is what life's all about if you ask me - he started to do wierd things to me.

And he has hooked up with some damn sadistic people over the years, let me tell you! Like this one instance, we were out camping in the midsummer weekend. Kind of nice. He let me enjoy the scenery and the warm weather. But all of a sudden they take a stick out of the fire and start burning me! I had blisters and sores for weeks. Weeks!

But did he leave me alone then? Oh no, that only made him horny.

And just recently. Do you know what he went and did? He bought a soldering iron as a christmas gift to that girlfriend of his. A soldering iron, for crying out loud! Those things HURT.

And I haven't even met her! They've lived together for months now, but do I get to meet my counterpart, so to speak? No, apparently I'm not good enough anymore. He says it's this bird-thing, I think, a cuck-old-fetish or somehting. Must be some kind of sparrow.

And he says the most hurtful things. Like maybe we won't be together anymore soon. He'll have me evicted or something.

I don't know what I have done wrong? I mean, I know I'm the biggest or the thickest dick in town - but I do my best. Now what would I do without him? There's no place for me."

But then again, I aint asking it.