Kristoff :
Thanks for this thoughtfull discussion. Also thanks to the other responders. I am not sure at what age(s) you finally took the step but feel that I am heading in the same direction gradually and surely until one day I will probably take the leap and just get on with it
From the looks of his age as reported in here he probley took the step when he was about 75
my concern is the love of others
I can identify very much with the what am I feelings you have. I have lost all testosterone production because I have lost my pituatary gland to a tumor. I therefore was put on full hormone replacement but no until I had lived without testosterone for years. I came to resent those things between my legs that did'nt work and wanted them gone badly. once put on hrt I found I did not like who I was. I have since experimented with different levels of testosterone but that has not resolved the feeling that I am not male. In fact I find I don't want to be male or female. I like some off the more female traits I have such as being less aggresive, slower to get angry, more emotional and yet I do not want to become a women. I am finding that feelings about being gay or straight have changed as well. I am married and have allways considered myself as straight until I lived without T and then I found I was attracted to the same sex in the same way as the opposite sex. because of my upbringing this has caused me much mental anguish and soul searching and I have come to the conclusion that this is just who I am now. In our relationship I have become more of a bottom than a top and like it that way. I would still like to be castrated so I could be what I feel I am, neither male or female but something between the two. I continue to present as a male but would not be upset if I were completely nullified.
Note: My comments here are NOT directed at any one person. This is a general post. Thanks.
Being castrated or having a penectomy or both does not resolve a gender issue or create a gender. What creates gender is genetics. If you are born a male, you’re a male no matter what you do for surgeries or how you act or dress. Same with a female. There are very small group people that are intersexes, and for them people they have a very tough battle trying to decide on a gender. It’s sad that society and even many of us here in this community puts a label on everyone here but it is what it is. I remember when I was castrated in May of 2002 and everyone wanted to call me a eunuch. I actually found that offensive and would correct everyone. I called myself a castrated male. Now that I am full nullo, I am a nullo male. I am not an “it” or transgender even though the doctors want to call me a transgender because for them I needed a label. With some battle, I have gotten what I want there and got the ignorant bastards to understand that there is no need for a label, I was born a male and will always be a male. The medical community, the public is very ignorant with regards to genital modification and gender. I think a lot of guys here think that getting castrated or penectomy will maybe solve a gender issue or make them feel more like the gender they want to be. For some, I am sure it may help, but in reality the reason most of us want our genitals modified is because of a dislike for them. There are a small percentage of people that want the mods because they think it’s unique and cool. What’s a bad thing is we then try to decide what gender we are after the mods when in reality it’s not really that important. What is important is how we each feel and act. If a male wants to be more like a female in how they look or dress, and they identify themselves as female, then they are female. We just have to remember that we cannot change genetics. Your attitude is all that counts. Screw society with their labels because it’s not important. What’s important is that you are happy with your choices and who you are. Everyone else can go F them selves.
We are what we are,no matter what mods we might or might not have. As long as we are happy with what bits we have,or have removed as long as we are happy with how we look what has it to do with anyne.
Should it not be a case of live and let live.
That is all very true , I would have to agree with this ,I can say that with all of the modifications that I have, had I definitely identity as female in every sense of the word ,with the exception of the genetics....well maybe I can claim my breasts, the Dr's account for my very good growth on genetics.........
FOLLOW THAT DREAM
There is something that I figured out a very long time ago but it flies in the face of conventional wisdom. And that is that Queen Esther (Bible, Tenach) was actually a eunuch herself. I know that she had her personal eunuch too but even so it seems as though Esther herself was really also one of the eunuchs. Some of us eunuchs can actually be quite beautiful when dolled up. And the voice which was never manly to begin with can be interpreted by the men to be husky and sexy. I don't know if anyone here has experienced this before but you can be along with a group of girls and wind up yourself being the knock-out. And this you don't want but the advances keep coming. The girls say, "Just look ahead, please completely ignore their gazes and don't reply to them at ALL," as they themselves are halfway jealous. "I'm trying! I'm trying! They just keep cornering me. Just let me have the seat next to the wall and I won't get up again! PLEASE!"
Anyway try bringing out this idea to a study or discussion and see how fast you'll get ridiculed without mercy or thrown out.
][- Ç ]> Heta, Stigma, Sho. The lost, rejected, outcaste and forgotten Greek Letters Society.
(Sorry no numeric keypad)
Re: Eunuchism and Gender
Tenho lido neste site alguns comentários sobre se o desejo de um homem se tornar eunuco não será uma forma de dismorfismo corporal. Eu contudo gostaria ostaria de ver aqui debatida uma outra questão: o desejo de se tornar eunuco como consequência da vontade de um homem ser completamente submisso à vontade de outro, por exemplo uma mulher, e aceitar satisfazer-lhe todas as vontades. Alguém quererá atirar a primeira pedra, isto é, lançar os primeiros comentários?
Google translation:Originally Posted by ze ribeiro
I have read some comments on this site is the desire to become a eunuch man is not a form of body dysmorphism. I however would like to see discussed here Ostara another issue: the desire to become a eunuch as a consequence of a man willing to be completely submissive to the will of another, for example a woman, and you accept satisfy every taste. Does anyone want to throw the first stone, that is launching the first comments?
Nuke a Gay Baby Whale for Jesus
Well hey, looks like google is getting better at that!
Very insightful post, Kristoff! It was very informative, but I ask, has the weight gain been excessive for you? I assume with proper exercise, one could maintain a healthy weight....But maybe that's not the case with becoming a Eunuch?
Well hey, looks like google is getting better at that!
Very insightful post, Kristoff! It was very informative, but I ask, has the weight gain been excessive for you? I assume with proper exercise, one could maintain a healthy weight....But maybe that's not the case with becoming a Eunuch?
Weight gain can be more excessive with non T eunuchs vs eunuchs who use HRT. If you are a non T eunuch and you struggled with weight before castration you most likely will after without any T. Weight control is easier when you have T in your system. Sometimes as a former sex addict I think I switched my addiction to food and wine.
Tugon (two gone)
“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”
Andrew Boyd
Thank you Kristoff for such enlightening posts.
All I can say is that it as a good job I am staight because I doubt I could have handled the crap that you had to put up with in my early years. On the other you probably missed out on the aching, painful lust to get inside a girl's pants in your early teens when you didn't have slightest chance of doing so. Looking back I now realise I wouldn't have known what to do if had got there.
The thing that bothers me, it seems so unjust, is the feeling of self loathing you mention in your post. Why did you have this self loathing? Is it because you accepted the opinion of an unenlightened homophobic world? Or was it from some source within yourself? How did you eventually overcome it?
The other question I would like to raise is the changes in brain function: becoming more sensitive to mood nuances, body language and the like. Also becoming more likely to give vent to tears and changes in spacial perception.
These are generally regarded as feminine traits. I have a theory that men and women's brains may actually be the same but the presence of male hormones suppresses some parts of the brain and stimulates others. Estrogen propably has a corresponding effect.
It may be possible for the brain to 'rewire' itself but it strikes me as more likely that it is a response to the presence or absence of hormones. Does anyone here actually know?
Whatever. Keep up the good work
Kortpeel
Interesting topic Kortpeel, Kristoff, et al...I wonder if any studies have been done on the hormone levels of gender dysphoric people, women and men?
Could it be that they have disproportionate levels of their respective hormones?
It's obvious a lack of T results in a lack of sex drive in males, and, I believe, to a possibly lesser extent, females.
I know I identify with female in many ways, but am heterosexual..I love to feel "pretty" am a crossdresser( however closeted)...Just got my ears pierced, and love it... Several years ago I shaved my almost bald head and , over the next year or so, amassed a large amount of tattoos on my bald head...butterflies, dragonfly, bumblebee, morning glory, vines...a veritable garden of flying insects, that I love...I'm now 65 years old..I've been a cross-dresser since my early teens....(mom's shoes, nylons, now wife's stuff).
I don't know what my family would think if I came out to them...I paint my toenails a very light, almost unnoticeable shade of pale pink, shave my legs and most of my body...and, at the age of 65, still jerk off almost daily, sometimes multiple times daily...I would guess my T levels were high...But then, why do I have this feminine side? Gotta be a little more than just hormonal...psychological, too.....Anyone else?? Thanks dragonfly
Last edited by butterflyjack; 10-26-2010 at 03:02 PM. Reason: spelling error
Yes, another who is male, and after losing them is still male, though the degree varies. Does it obviously relate to HRT levels? not in any clear way except that for a brief time without HRT (T), I had the flashes and felt not so good. Do I enjoy how I feel now? Very much. Would I be as happy with no HRT or with different, perhaps female HRT? Very possibly after transient upheavals subsided. Have I ever wanted to be female? Not really. Females are admirable creatures and i don't find it wrong that some who are not female would like to be one. It's just that I suspect I would make a very second-rate girl, so it's best to stay the way I am.
Do i see myself as anything else in the future. Probably not, but life is exciting and to be enjoyed, and way too full of predictions of the unpredictable.
Egad,... I just noticed the date I wrote that..Two and a half years ago...I've come out to my wife and been on Spiro and Estrofem for over a year now...I agree, Orchid..life is wonderful, Vast and varied...To be lived fully...Thanks Jackie
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