I wish I could help you with your problems. Depression has been a problem for me too.

All I can tell you is that it does get better. Hang in there. If you are having serious issues with it, I would recommend you see your doctor for treatment for depression. Sometimes we all need a little help.

Keep us posted.

In a way, you do have someone to talk to. Those of us here on the EA, and what I call: Me, Myself, and I.
Believe it or not you can reason with yourself, and I am not talking about multiple personalities.

Also, be aware that you are not alone.
If you find comfort in Misery Likes Company, there are others like yourself, for innumerable reasons, who are surrounded by people in the Land Of Alone.

If you have a hobby, and interest, immerse yourself in it.
A lot of people find video games their safe harbor, as an example.

Like to read? Go to a library. No money required. Even check out DVD's, CD's, etc. to fill the hours.

But you have to realize this; others can provide guidance, support, direction, but only Me, Myself, and I can make change happen.
And be aware that it takes just one hormone in your body to be out of balance, which can cause a cascade effect on other hormones, and you will feel out of wack in any number of ways; getting checked by an endocrinologist might be a first step before delving into the foggy world of psychological assistance.

Create some change in your life. Do new things. If you keep doing the same things every day in and day out, the rut can contribute to discontent.

be proactive, believe in yourself, and of most importance, if there are or have been any others in your life who have mentally, physically abused you avoid them; do not think of them, or what they said. If they exist now, get away from them regardless of how much it seems impossible.
And this includes that part of yourself that does not believe in you.

Close your eyes, think of how you want your life to be. Envision it. Be realistic.
Give Me, Myself, and I permission to start doing whatever is legal, honest, moral, ethical to achieve the kind of life you envision.
It will not happen over night.
Life is a roller coaster and will always have its ups and downs.
At least on the down hill you develop momentum to go back up hill.
The only strength you need is that little extra oomph to get up to the top of the next high spot.

You have everyone's permission here to start. Go for it. Do it. You know you are a better person than this.
and in the end, you will be able to be proud of yourself for investing in yourself .
And we will be proud of you too.

30 is so young. Lucille Ball didn't have much success until in her 50's. Mary Kay didn't build an empire until in her 70's.

The best advice in my mind is volunteer try to be helpful to others. It gives you a feeling of self worth.

In one year I got my T from 1275 down to 300. The key to me from gaining too much weight and avoiding depression was exercise. Nothing intense, just walking around the block or 2.