I wish I had an answer for you. I wish I could tell you he'll always be there for you, in every choice you make. I don't know what is a bridge too for for him.

I know you need to be comfortable in who you are, but I can't say it won't come without regrets.

You are correct in thinking that blessings like a special person in your life are rare. They certainly are. I've had too few in my own.

Can you stay with him while you deny yourself of your greatest dream? Can you choose to be something you are not, for fear of losing him?

Only you can decide that. It is not an easy choice.

It isn't this easy, but I'd like to think if he really loves you, he will be with you while you make the hard choices for your own happiness. I'd imagine he'd be happy for you. What I can't guarantee, is that he'll still be sexually attracted to you. If he is not, and that is the thing he needs, then you will lose him.

If he cannot love you for who you really are inside, and out, then I don't think he is the one you really need.

I'd like to tell you to go for it. Become the person you were born to be, and let the chips fall where they may, but I know what loneliness is. I know what it is like to hide who you really are, just so you can keep a relationship that you don't want to lose.

What I know, is that if you do that, you will be miserable anyway. The relationship will end regardless, because you don't really have the love you need. You need a love that accepts you for who you really are.

I wish you the love you deserve, and peace of being who you really are. I hope you find it.

Be brave.

It's the old, You Can't Have Cake and Eat It Too, debacle. If you are fortunate to be in a relationship that is good, and that you like, and that you don't want to loose, then don't do anything that will jeopardize that. Just wince and bear that you can't have everything you want. No pain, no gain.

Reconcile yourself to think less about your body parts, internalize less, and think more about interpersonal relationships. Only you can know if it would ever be non-threatening and appropriate to discuss with your partner some of your "past life" desires, without necessarily indicating that they still dwell in your mind as current desires. If anything, you might wind up complimenting your partner by indicating that knowing them has helped you to migrate away from those desires thanks to your relationships with your partner.

Or it might be better to simply put all of those thoughts and desires of your past life virtually into a jar, put the lid on tight, and throw it in the trash and let your past feelings, cravings, and desires become part of your former life that is now gone and in the trash, leaving you to force yourself to never think about them again and enjoy your new life. Change is hard. Moving on is essential.