I still think tattooing and ringing is the right way to go...You can lead him around by his little limp tatted, ringed dick...Lucky bastard smooches Jackie

Originally Posted by butterflyjack

I still think tattooing and ringing is the right way to go...You can lead him around by his little limp tatted, ringed dick...Lucky bastard smooches Jackie

I do lead him around by his penis from time to time by tying a length of dental floss around it, just behind the head. He can either follow or have the head ripped off. So far, he's always chosen to follow.

I got a call from my brother Donny this afternoon. He's got a job interview Friday in Colorado, somewhere in or around the town of Boulder. Hope something works out for them. Now that his wife's father has died, they have no real tie to the Midwest except us. (Is Colorado still Midwest??) So looking for work that pays better was high on their agenda. Of course, I imagine expenses in Colorado will probably be higher than in Iowa, too, so I'm not sure they'd be gaining much unless the job is a lot better.

I'd just gotten off the phone with Donny when Megan called. She wonders when Tim and I will come out to visit again. I told her that right now some sunshine would be welcome. They're forecasting rain pretty much all week here. Just when we get temperatures warm enough for outdoor playtime, we get rain.

I told her Tim's penis is still numb and limp and that we still don't know whether it will recover. She said she thought it would be really funny to get a guy "horny enough to honk" when he couldn't do anything about it even by masturbating, and she was wondering whether I was having fun enticing him. I said I probably would do more if I knew it was just a matter of time before he recovered, but since I don't, I'm taking pity on him. We still sleep naked, and I play with his penis, but it's been a while since I've had him tied up in the basement. She was urging me to take full advantage of his condition. Maybe I should. A big part of Tim's fantasy is being humiliated by having women entice him after taking his penis, and I suppose being enticed when his penis is non-functional would be the next best thing. My pity may be spoiling his fun.

I told her Tim enjoyed the sexting and had missed the daily photos lately. She said she was running out of fresh ideas for that but would see what she could do. She also said to look for a surprise in the mail, but she wouldn't tell me what it was.

She filled me in a little more on the break-up with the live-in boyfriend. She said the guy just wanted free room and board and free sex. She was okay with the free sex, but the guy was cheap and wasn't inclined to pay for anything, even groceries. She started feeling more like his mother than his girlfriend. Also, he wasn't into more adventurous sex, like bondage. When he asked to borrow money to take another girl on a date, that was the last straw. She said she'll look for older guys from now on. They may not be as spry in the sack, but she found she has a lower tolerance for immaturity than she thought.

Sandi

The subject of family problems never came up with Mia today. Instead, she wanted to learn how to make something new in the kitchen. I asked whether she had something in mind, and she said turkey and dressing and mashed potatoes and gravy. I brought her back to reality by explaining how long that would take, even if we had a turkey in the house already. We settled on turkey burgers, thawed in the microwave and cooked on the George Foreman grill. Even for that we needed a quick trip to the supermarket for buns and Tater-Tots. I suggested that if she was going to do the cooking, she should be around to enjoy the fruits of her labors, so we called Misty and Mike to join us. It wasn't the most well balanced of meals, but nobody complained.

After supper we moved to the living room for a DVD movie. Misty sat down on Mike's lap. I took that to be a good sign. Mia saw that and sat on my lap, then noticed that Tim had nobody sitting on his lap, so she went to the guest bedroom and brought out a teddy bear and placed it on Tim's lap, then sat down on mine again. Tim seemed pleased and scritched the teddy bear behind the ears and cuddled it as we started the movie. The family left just a few minutes ago. Tim's being Mr. Helpful tonight and is cleaning up the grill. I think I'd use it more often if he did that every time.

Sandi

Donny called to say "May the 4th be with you." I guess May 4 is Star Wars Day out there where he's interviewing. A bad pun, but I laughed anyway. He thought the interview went well, but you never know until you finally get a formal job offer. He sounded hopeful, though.

No change in Tim. He's still numb and limp. However, he did have a wet dream last night, so I've been laundering sheets. From the size of the squirt, he must have had a really good dream, though he said he couldn't remember it. I'm surprised that he could do that without an erection, but I guess the real control is in the brain, not the penis.

I asked Mike last night whether the restaurant was doing anything special for Cinco de Mayo, but he said chicken wings aren't exactly Mexican food, and very little of their clientele is Hispanic, so they're doing business as usual except that he made sure they had adequate supplies for making margaritas.

A package arrived for Tim from Megan. I'm going to let him open it. I'm getting tired of clouds--at least it's not raining--so Megan's offer to visit her is sounding more tempting all the time. I haven't discussed it with Tim. I think he still has a lot of vacation "in the bank," but I don't know what he has in mind for vacations this year. It'll be interesting to see whether Megan resumes sexting him now that her boyfriend has moved out. I don't know how the pictures could get more raunchy than the last one, but I'm confident she'll find a way.

Sandi

I certainly hope so...I'm sure Megan won't let us down..the slut!! hehe smooches Jackie

Tim opened the package from Megan. It contained another plastic penis. This one is different, because it has straps attached so that it can be worn. I suppose it was intended for lesbian sex, but he tried it on, and it looks as if he can use it okay. Megan included a note: "Why don't you cut off that useless ounce of meat and use this?" I'd have thought Tim would feel insulted or put down by that. Instead, he was excited to try it out. He's walking around the house now, naked and wearing the thing. I find it hard not to laugh. It'll be interesting to see how it compares to a real penis.

I told him that Megan's invitation to go to California again was tempting in view of the weather. Saturday is supposed to be okay, but then back to rain. He said things are slow enough at work that he thought he could take a week or two of vacation if we can work out details with Megan. The main issue is probably what we do with Mia. Either Mike or Misty would have to take time off work to go pick her up. Tim suggested that maybe Cristy or Emily's mom could pick her up, but I wouldn't want to have her around Emily's older brother, and I don't know how flexible Cristy is. I'll make some inquiries tomorrow.

Tim is dancing around, not too subtly hinting that he'd like me to get off the computer and get naked so that he can try out his new toy. Gotta go.

Sandi

UPDATE: Tim is down in the basement making some modifications to the new plastic penis. It was clearly made to be worn by a woman, not a man with an uncooperative penis. The straps just don't fit right. He says it's uncomfortable, but he thinks it just needs some minor tweaks to the straps. I told him Megan would tell him to just get rid of his penis and testicles and it would fit just fine. He didn't seem to see the humor in that. I hope he'll be done soon. I want to get to bed, and if he's not back soon, he'll find me asleep.

Sandi

Tim changed the strap arrangement on the new penis and seemed satisfied with how it fit. By the time he got to bed with it, I was more in the mood for sleeping than trying new sexual adventures, but he seemed so tickled with the new gadget that I couldn't tell him no. It feels about the same as Willy physically, but the added aspect of its being attached to Tim where his real penis is does give it more appeal. If I try not to think about what it really is, I think I can imagine that we're having sex the old way, with his own equipment.

This morning at breakfast we were trying to decide what to call it. "Willy Wanker" was almost inspired, and topping that would be a challenge. "Willy II"? "Dick?" "Peter"? Tim liked "Oliver Klozoff", but, funny as the pun may be, I didn't think it fit. We ended up deciding on just plain "Dick." We may change that if we come up with something better.

Our tentative plan is to spend two weeks in California with Megan, leaving here this coming Friday. However, we need to coordinate that with Cristy (to pick Mia up after school) and Misty (so she'll know that Cristy is picking Mia up) and Tim's work (to arrange the vacation) and, of course, Megan. But if it works for everybody and we can get a decent price on airline tickets, we'll fly out sometime Friday. I can't see much point in pouring hot liquid on Tim's penis until at least some feeling returns, and as of this morning, it's still limp and numb, but by Friday it may have had time to come around. And if it still hasn't by the time vacation is over, we may conclude that the hot liquid is redundant, because the numbness is permanent as it is. We'll just have to wait and see.

Misty and I are planning to go shopping at Costco later this morning. You can get good prices there, but many times the quantities you have to buy are too much for two people, so we figure we'll divide things up--18 rolls of toilet paper for each family instead of 36 for one, for example. We'll probably have lunch while we're out. I told Tim he can fend for himself for lunch. There are plenty of sandwich fixings he can choose from.

Sandi

Misty and I didn't get carried away with shopping. We concentrated on things we always need that Costco sells in big packages or double packages, like toilet paper, Kleenex, cleaning supplies, milk, cereal, etc. Even with lower prices and splitting the cost between us, it's amazing how fast you can go through $100. And that's without the gas-tank fill-up there.

A few items are now checked off the vacation list: Cristy will pick Mia up after school while we're gone, and Misty's okay with that. Misty will look after the house while we're gone. Megan is expecting us. Tim sent his boss an e-mail requesting the vacation and, even on the weekend, his boss checks his mail and sent a reply saying it's no problem. Now we just need to find tickets at a reasonable price.

I thanked Megan for "Dick". She asked whether there was anything in particular we wanted to do besides burning Tim's penis. I told her that, until Tim gets some feeling back, burning would be pointless for two reasons. First, he wouldn't feel it, and the pain is a big part of the fantasy, and second, I'd like to know whether his penis will recover from the banding I did when we did the experimental burning with the soldering pencil. I told her Tim was looking forward to some outdoor adventure. She said she'd try to think of something creative. She said Alicia had asked recently about Tim and might want to participate if that was okay. I told her Tim would love having a dozen women participate. :-)

I asked Tim whether activities at Megan's would be disappointing if he's still numb and limp while we're there. I was thinking that being at the mercy of women for sexual relief, and then watching them take away his ability to get relief, was a large part of the fantasy. He said watching women take away his ability was, indeed, a big part, but being enticed and teased by women who knew he was helpless to get relief would also be exciting, and not knowing what women will do to him is also a big thing for him. He knows my limits, but Megan is a wild card, and he's never sure what she'll do. If Alicia is there, he has absolutely no idea what she is capable of, and the two gals might egg each other on to do things neither would do alone. So all things considered, even though Tim would like to have the numbness gone and be able to get an erection by then, he's looking forward to whatever happens.

Sandi

If Tim is willing to keep on using "Dick" in exchange for back rubs, I'm not sure I care whether he gets the use of his penis back or not--or loses it altogether, for that matter--from the standpoint of my sexual satisfaction.

I do care, of course, about his satisfaction. For now, he seems not only content but excited about his inability to get an erection or feel stimulation of his penis or get an orgasm, at least outside a wet dream. I asked whether sleeping together naked was frustrating him. Should I go and buy some pajamas? He was quite adamant that he was just fine and wanted me to not only come to bed naked but tease and entice him, and the more the better. He seems to get a great deal of pleasure from not being able to get a man's most sought-after pleasure. Go figure.

So we're sitting around at 8:30 in the morning, still in the buff. He's sitting across the room from me, watching me intently. I suspect that he'd prefer that I put the computer away and do some belly dancing for him, but it's Sunday, and I'm too lazy to do that. (Besides, I don't know how, though I don't imagine he'd object if I just faked it.)

He showed me two raunchy sexting photos Megan sent late last night. One was a closeup of her vulva with her legs spread wide so that you can see into her vagina. The message with it was a double entendre: "I can't wait for you to come."

We don't have anything big planned for the day. It's a rainy, stay-in-the-house-and-veg-out sort of day. The grass could use mowing, but it's too wet, so that's not going to happen. I suppose I should go start some breakfast. I'm not feeling ambitious, so Tim's going to get cereal and toast again. He doesn't seem to mind as long as he doesn't have to fix it.

Sandi

A nice relaxing day. The only thing accomplished was getting the tickets for Friday. Got a better deal by flying into San Diego this time. (Megan lives between LA and SD.)

Napped, watched a couple of mind-numbing things on TV, and put together a jigsaw puzzle with Tim. Funny how rain sucks all the ambition out of you.

Sandi

I sent Tim off to work this morning still numb and limp. I told him I thought he'd soon be regretting the last banding if he wasn't already. I know that he's been sexually aroused almost continuously for days. I sat across from him at breakfast nude again this morning, and he couldn't take his eyes off my boobs. Still, he says he has no regrets. How long can a man take being that horny without relief, or in his case, without any hope of relief, even by masturbation? I would think he'd be going nuts, but he insists he loves it. Maybe he's just trying to make me feel less guilty.

Today looks like a typical Monday for me. Cleaning, washing, ironing, a trip to the supermarket, then Mia this afternoon. I imagine Tim will be trying to tie up loose ends at work so that he doesn't spend vacation thinking about things there. The rain continues, but now they're saying we'll get some sun tomorrow.

Sandi

He's not trying anything..This is what he wants..Emasculation.. Me too...smooches Jackie

Originally Posted by butterflyjack

He's not trying anything..This is what he wants..Emasculation.. Me too...smooches Jackie

You could be right, Jackie, though I think he wants to keep the sex drive, and I really don't want him to lose that, either. I don't want just a roommate. But for him the thought of being perpetually aroused with no chance for release is compelling. Testicles, testosterone, and no penis. And not just no penis, but the excitement of watching women take ti from him.

I've been thinking about what to do in California. One thing that I'm sure Tim would love would be to try to recreate in him the feelings that seem to have started this obsession with having women cut his penis off for their own amusement.

Tim has told me the story. I'm not sure how accurate the details of what I'm about to describe are, as I'm repeating from memory what Tim told me, and I imagine that, along with a core of vivid memories burned into his brain by adrenaline, there are details that he doesn't really remember but that he later assumed must have happened or that others told him about, and these have been fused with the real memories. Childhood memories of trauma tend to be like that--part real, part suggested later. I know, too, that when adrenaline is pumping, things that take place in seconds seem to go on for minutes, and facts can get commingled with fantasy in a child's mind.

That said, as I understand it, soon after he'd discovered erections and masturbation but had not yet experienced an orgasm or ejaculation--he thinks it was sixth grade, but I'm inclined to suspect somewhat later--he would spy on his sister while she undressed, using a makeup mirror to peer under her bedroom door. She was considerably older, perhaps a senior in high school. He thought he was being discreet, but, as he found out later, she was totally aware of what he was doing and would put on quite a show for him.

One night his sister had several girlfriends over for a slumber party. He didn't know it, but she had explained to the girls what he was doing, and they played along, undressing and walking around naked. Suddenly, they jerked the door open, catching him on his hands and knees with his mirror. They told him he'd be in big trouble and might even go to jail if they told on him, but they'd keep quiet about it if he didn't tell what they were going to do to him.

They pulled off his pajamas, tied him to his sister's bed, and played with his penis and testicles. Then his sister wrapped a rubber band around he base of his penis and climbed on top and started having sex with him. The girls took turns "riding" him, and he had is very first ejaculation inside one of them. They then abused his testicles and released him, warning him that if they ever told about his spying on them, he'd go to jail, and if he told what they'd done to him, they would cut his penis off.

The experience was both terrifying and intensely erotic, and from that time on, he says, the erotic and the terrifying were inextricably intertwined in his mind and emotions. The most erotic thing he could imagine was having women tie him up and laugh at his helplessness as they enticed him, then cut his penis off and played with it before destroying it in front of him.

From what Megan has said in recent conversations, she has some girlfriends who might find it amusing to reenact such a scene. She's mentioned that Alicia and Mandy, the two women who wanted to see Tim's penis when we were in California before, would likely be interested in some sort of playtime activity. I'm not sure how many girls were at the slumber party, but four women, including me, might be sufficient for a convincing replay.

Of course, I don't really want Tim's penis inside any other woman, even involuntarily, and if he continues numb and limp, that might be impossible anyway. However, we could attach "Dick" to him and use that. I don't mind if he uses an artificial penis on other women. And we could band his actual penis. Having four naked women laughingly talk about "cutting off his useless, limp little wee-wee" might add the element of humiliation on top of terror that his fantasies seem to call for. Perhaps this would as close as we can reasonably come to his ultimate fantasy.

In our playtime, he lets me tie him up, after which he's helpless to stop me from doing what I want to do to him, but he knows my limits and not only does he submit voluntarily to being tied up, he asks for it. It would add a whole new dimension to playtime if he is actually helpless before being tied up, struggling to get away as he is overpowered, stripped and tied up by several women he doesn't know and whose limits he can only imagine. I can't give him that experience alone, but I can try to set it up.

A lot depends on the state of Tim's penis while we're there and on the willingness of Megan's girlfriends to get involved. We'll just have to wait and see.

Sandi

I'd say it would fulfill Tim's lifelong fantasy...Mine too, for that matter...Wow...smooches Jackie

Tim went off to work numb and limp again this morning. And again he couldn't take his eyes off my boobs at breakfast. If he's going to recover, I would expect some indication of it soon, but nothing yet.

I'm still trying to grasp how Tim can be pleased that he can't get an erection or an orgasm, even by masturbation, yet loves to be sexually aroused. Arousal with no possible resolution seems to me to be the ultimate torture, like an itch you can't scratch or being thirsty in the desert and seeing a mirage of an oasis.

But Tim has always liked me to beat and kick his testicles, and I know that's about as painful as it gets for a guy, so I suppose being tantalized by sleeping with a naked woman who's eager for sex and not being able to perform is the other side of the same coin. It's certainly not that he doesn't love orgasms, though. He has said he derives pleasure by giving me pleasure, but if that were all it is for him, he wouldn't masturbate. Maybe the line between pleasure and pain is thinner for him. Right now, having his testicles beaten is the only physical sexual stimulation I can give him. Perhaps the pain of that is, for him, more pleasurable than an orgasm. I don't know. The man's a mystery.

I suspect that after the novelty of not being able to perform sexually wears off, he'll feel regret, though pride may prevent him from saying he does. Still, for now, I've decided to take him at his word and do what I can to excite him (and frustrate him) sexually and give him the one form of physical stimulation that remains.

So last night after supper, I told him to go to the basement and get undressed while I finished putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. By the time I got downstairs, he was naked, standing under the hooks with a gag already in his mouth. I tied him up, then slowly undressed in front of him. I poked at his limp penis with the end of the broom-handle club, telling him that we'd have to see whether Megan was willing to cut it off, because if it stays limp, it'll just get in the way when I beat his testicles. I tied the end of a long piece of dental floss around his penis, just behind the head, then tied the other end to one of the hooks overhead, pulling it tight enough to lift his penis straight up against his abdomen and out of the way. I told him he'd better not flinch when I beat his testicles, because the head of his penis might get ripped off. Then I began beating his testicles.

I beat him for over ten minutes. There were tears running down his cheeks, he was vocalizing muffled protests through the gag, he was shaking his head wildly, and his breathing was in short, shallow gasps, but he stood perfectly still. Normally, he'd have been struggling, and his wrists would have been red from chafing on the ropes, but he protected his penis by not doing that, and this despite the fact that he wouldn't have felt pain if the head of his penis had been ripped off. That convinced me that his penis is still important to him, even if it is useless for sex. When I unfastened the dental floss and untied him, he promptly fell to the floor and rolled around whimpering for several minutes holding his crotch with both hands.

After he recovered, we went upstairs. I handed Dick to him, he put it on, and we climbed into bed, leaving the lights on. He began petting my clitoris, but I was already wet and pulled him over on top of me. He inserted Dick into my vagina and started pumping. He didn't stop for over an hour, by which time we were both pretty much exhausted. Then he took Dick off and put it on the night stand while I turned the lights off. As I got back into bed, he thanked me. He thanked me! For beating his testicles, threatening his penis and having him give me two orgasms while he got no sexual stimulation at all except in his mind.

Go figure.

Sandi

Sounds right to me...hehe smooches Jackie

I got a call from Misty around noon telling me not to fix supper. She and Mike and Mia were going to take Tim and me out to supper at a nice restaurant for Mother's Day. It's a few days early, because they knew we'd be in California on Sunday. I've never been treated to that before. (I've never been a "mom" on Mother's Day before, for that matter.) It was really nice. Mike and Misty showed up together at the time Misty usually comes for Mia. Tim arrived a few minutes later, and the five of us went in Mike's car. I guess being called "Mom" has its perks.

Before they arrived, Mia and I were discussing Emily. She said Emily told her that her brother keeps wanting her to play with his penis, and she has several times. Apparently she got semen on her clothes once, and even though she tried to clean it off, it left some residue that her mother noticed when she did the laundry. Emily said she told her she'd made powdered-sugar frosting for graham crackers and spilled some, and her mother seemed to buy the story. She didn't mention whether the brother was playing with her genitals. I told Mia that the whole situation looked like real trouble brewing. She said she'd told Emily what I'd said before about it, but Emily said she could handle it. Besides, she said, if she didn't do it, the brother would lie to their parents and get her into trouble, because they leave him in charge while they're gone and view him as a little angel.

Sandi

No change in Tim this morning. After a big meal last night, neither of us was inclined to do much of anything active; we just went to bed, cuddled a little, then went to sleep.

I'm going to spend most of today cleaning. It may seem silly, but when I go away for two weeks, I like to leave the house spotless. Tim teases me about that. Who's going to be enjoying the nice clean house? But at least when I get back, maybe I won't feel the need to get to work right away if I leave it clean. Going away for two weeks is a big deal for me, but Tim is content to throw some clothes in a suitcase and go. I don't know whether that's a guy thing or just him.

We finally got a break from all the rain, so tonight I need to chase Tim out to do the mowing. The grass has really gone wild. Tim talked to Mike about mowing while we're gone. He said he'd check on it and mow as needed.

Sandi

Donny called this afternoon with some good news and some bad news. The place in Colorado where he interviewed offered him the job, and the salary they offer is significantly higher than what he makes in Iowa. However, the cost of housing there offsets much of the increase, and he's not sure the position offers any better job satisfaction than what he already has. He talked it over with Becky, and they decided to stay where they are.

I got a start at packing for the trip. Nothing is in suitcases yet, but I've set up a "staging area" where I've gathered things we want to take. I put a hold on the newspaper, and I have a list of things to do between now an departure, like a vacation hold on mail, switch the thermostat to "heat" and turn the setting down, gather the house plants to one location so that Misty doesn't have to track them down for watering, set timers on lights, etc. Tim did the lawn when he got home, so that's out of the way.

Tomorrow we tie up loose ends so that we can head to the airport early Friday morning. Mike's going to drive us to O'Hare so that we don't have to leave a car there for two weeks. What would we do without our "daughter" and "son"?

Sandi