Tim's wrists were still a little red at bedtime, but he didn't seem to be concerned about them. Moments after we lay down, he started playing with right breast, running his finger gently around the nipple. I was thinking, This guy must really relish frustration, but I didn't say anything. I just started playing with his penis. As I expected, his erection was weak, and there was no way it was going to be solid enough for sex. Still, he seemed to be enjoying the petting, and what he was doing did feel good. He began inserting his finger into my vagina, then running it over my clitoris, then back into my vagina, over and over. Then he suddenly stopped, rolled over, grabbed a rubber band from the night stand, and wrapped it around the base of his penis. He rolled back toward me, then took my hand and placed it on his penis. It was then fully erect and hard. He nudged my thigh with his hand, and I spread my legs. A moment later, his penis was inside me, even bigger than before.

Tim continued pumping for what seemed like an hour. I'd already had one orgasm and was wondering when he would give up in frustration again, but then he started breathing heavily and pumping faster. Then the heavy breathing stopped, he withdrew his penis, climbed off, and headed for the bathroom. I got out of bed and joined him in the bathroom.

His penis remained erect until he took the rubber band off. Then the erection quickly faded, though the diameter of his penis was still a bit larger than normal for its flaccid state. The majority of the semen had made it past the rubber band, so we both had some cleaning up to do.

I was wondering whether this would be the new "normal" way to have sex from now on. It seemed to work. It was satisfying for me, and he got an orgasm, which he hadn't experienced in a long time. However, I wonder about the wisdom of the approach. Each time I've banded him, he's lost some sensitivity in his penis and has had more trouble getting a firm erection. If he uses a rubber band every time we have sex, isn't that more or less the same as being banded? What will the cumulative effect be? If he's now dependent on the rubber band to get a full erection, and a full erection seems to be necessary for him to achieve an orgasm, will he find that at some point the damage the rubber band does will render that approach ineffective as well? Then what?

But I kept my thoughts to myself. Tim was obviously excited, and I didn't want to rain on his parade. Besides, it did feel great having him inside me again, even if he did need help from a rubber band.

This morning, I asked him how his penis felt. He said he didn't notice any ill effects from last night. Maybe we have a workable solution, at least for now.

Sandi

I have used rubber bands many times to maintain an erection for an hour or more. The effect is definitely less damaging than a green band. Once when visiting a large hardware chain I found a welded stainless steel ring. The larger size was Zenith brand had two in a pack and looked promising. It is about 32mm inside diameter and about 4mm thick. The weld is smooth. I can easily install it on my penis and edge the skin under it and finally press it back as far back as the abdominal wall, in fact it disappears under the skin. It can stay on all night, does not numb the penis or discolour it, but maintains an erection long after it should have faded. It was excellent for sex and my wife liked its results even if she disliked me using it.
Even if still hard, I can get it off by very slowly, gently working the skin back under it, until the ring sits below the head, and then pulling it over the top. I used this method of maintaining erections rather than a rubber band, Cheers

Originally Posted by msts1945

I have used rubber bands many times to maintain an erection for an hour or more. The effect is definitely less damaging than a green band. Once when visiting a large hardware chain I found a welded stainless steel ring. ... I used this method of maintaining erections rather than a rubber band, Cheers

Thanks for the information. That's certainly encouraging. I'll pass the information about the ring on to Tim.

Sandi

Last night, and again this morning, we just cuddled in bed, not even petting let alone initiating intercourse. It was actually liberating not to be focused on whether or not Tim could perform. We ended up in a "tickle fight" just before getting out of bed. We haven't done that since Misty was staying with us.

No big plans for today. We're hoping to just relax and maybe do some reading. Neither of us seems to have any ambition. We haven't even botherred to get dressed yet and are sitting around naked at 9:30 in the morning. And I don't even feel guilty about it. Shameless, huh?

Sandi

Precisely. Shameless hussy. And we are all jealous.

Tim took me out to brunch. We seem to be eating out a lot lately. It's not that I'm complaining, but if we keep it up, it's not going to do my figure any good. We skipped lunch with such a late brunch, and supper was just sandwiches in front of the TV, so I guess we're not doing too badly for today's caloric intake.

We'd barely returned when I got a call from Donny. He said they've been going through Charles' things, trying to identify all the accounts and investments he has and figure out what bills are likely to come for the estate. Becky was named in his will as executor, so it more or less falls on them to make sense of a receipt here or a statement there or a cancelled check somewhere else.

As we were talking, it occurred to me that we haven't done anything with wills to adjust them to what our current wishes are. If I die, of course everything goes to Tim and vice versa, and that doesn't change, but now we consider Misty and Mia to be our "children," and we want them included if we both die. We want Donny to get something as well, but Tim has no affection for his sister and can't see leaving her a nickel. But more than that, after hearing the mess Charles left in terms of a treasure hunt to figure out what the state of his finances was, we need to gather the information on all the accounts so that we don't leave that sort of mess for our heirs, and by the term "heir" I mean principally me. I've been leaving all the finances to Tim. He keeps the check book full and the credit cards paid, and from time to time he may tell me we're getting a little too much on the cards, but I haven't had to pay a bill in ages. So I don't know for sure how many accounts we have let alone account numbers. For now, I don't really care. I'm happy letting him manage things. But if something happened to him, I'd be in the same spot as Donny and Becky are with Charles' estate.

Hmmm. Tim's just appeared in the doorway naked, and he's beckoning me toward the bedroom. It's later than I realized. Gotta go.

Sandi

The house really seemed empty this morning with Tim off to work again and Mia back in school. I decided to put on a jacket and plant the daffodil and tulip bulbs in front of the house, as I'd been meaning to for a few weeks and never got around to. While I was working, a rather arrogant woodpecker had the temerity--nay, the unmitigated, 24-karat gall--to poop on my hair.

I came in to shampoo and wash the dirt off, and of course that had to be the very time the doorbell would ring. I ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would just quietly go away, but no, a minute later, the bell rang again. I turned off the water and, with hair still wet and water dripping off me, I wrapped a towel around myself and headed for the door. I looked through the peep hole and saw my brother and his wife standing there.

I invited them in, apologizing for my appearance and briefly explaining about my rather disagreeable encounter with the feathered intruder, then excused myself to finish drying myself off and get dressed.

It turned out that after our telephone conversation yesterday, Becky had discovered that Charles had owned some property down in the Champagne-Urbana area. They didn't know whether that was part of the estate or had been sold at some point. Charles had never talked about it with them, but with his mental condition in the past year or two, he wasn't making much sense anyway. They had no idea who to contact but had an address and thought the most expedient way to find out what the facts were would be to drive over from Iowa and check it out. They were hoping they could spend the night tonight, drive down to Urbana tomorrow, then return for a second night and head back to Iowa the next day.

I told them that sounded fine to me, but I wanted to check with Tim to be sure he didn't have any conflicting plans. I got Tim's voice mail at work and decided to just go ahead and tell them to settle their things in the guest bedroom. I warned them they might have to move some of Mia's things aside. She leaves a couple of changes of clothes in the closet, and they might find more things in drawers or even stuffed under the bed.

Half an hour later, while we were sipping coffee and talking, Tim called and confirmed that he had no conflicting plans. He thought Donny and Becky might benefit from learning what Misty had been doing with her mom's estate. There are probably some differences in the laws between Iowa and Illinois, but he thought there would be a lot of similarity.

So I called Misty to see whether the three of them could join us for supper tonight. She said she'd check with Mike. Half an hour later, she called back to confirm that they'd see us around 6:00 pm.

So what started as a rather lonely and uneventful day has rapidly become considerably more complicated if not downright chaotic. Becky is a sweetie, though, and has pitched in with getting supper started. Now I need to get back to the kitchen lest she think I've left all the work to her. More later if time permits.

Sandi

After supper last night we seemed to pair off naturally. Mike and Tim went downstairs talking about who-knows-what projects they were working on or thinking of working on. Misty and Becky went to the living room and talked about estate matters. Donny and I sat at the table with an after-supper cup of coffee talking about old times and everything that's happened since.

Donny said Becky is a wonderful wife--a great cook, a good housekeeper, kind, generous, responsible, reliable, considerate, intelligent, prudent with money, the kind of person anyone would love to have as a friend or neighbor. But they've become more or less just roommates. When he gives her a hug, she hugs him the way she hugs her girlfriends--a few seconds at most, then she pushes him away. She doesn't turn him down for sex, but she's totally passive. He feels as if sex is something he's doing to her rather than something he's doing with her. She gets impatient with foreplay and never wants to just cuddle. Her kisses are a quick peck, not a romantic lip lock. If he brings her flowers, she dutifully puts them in a vase but doesn't seem to take them as a romantic gesture. He says he's more or less resigned himself to the fact that he has a very nice friend who happens to be of the opposite sex. They get along well and haven't had an argument for years. But he wishes she'd laugh at his jokes or even groan rather than ignore them. It's almost as if she'd had her sense of humor surgically removed. He wishes she enjoyed sex rather than viewing it as her wifely duty. He wishes he could stir up some sparks, but everything he's tried falls flat.

I didn't want to tell him about Tim and me after that. I asked him whether he'd like a nice swift kick between the legs for old times. He said he'd love it, but if Becky found out, she'd never get over it. At least, he said, she comes by it honestly. Her while family was similar--kind, thoughtful, generous, and emotionally dead except for resentment and anger. They could hold on to a grudge more tenaciously than anyone he'd ever met.

Sad.

This morning they got up with Tim and me and left for Urbana about the same time Tim left for work. They returned around mid-afternoon. Becky said the papers they'd found were a receipt for an "earnest money" deposit on a house along with papers involved in negotiating with the seller on a price and on things to be fixed in the house before the sale, but there was no conclusive indication of whether the sale went through or he was out-bid or backed out of the deal. They found the property and found people home. They confirmed that they bought the house about the time the papers indicated and that they'd been in a "bidding war" with another person who was interested in the place. So it appears that the deal didn't go through.

Donny pulled me aside and thanked me for a chance to get things off his chest last night. He said the property thing, from his perspective, was an excuse to come for a visit. He said he has no thoughts of ever leaving Becky, and she seems content to stay with him for life, but he does regret what might have been with someone who thought of sex as something fun and funny, who knew how to laugh, and who didn't take life so seriously. And, yes, someone who would kick his testicles from time to time.

They decided to cut their vacation shorter than planned and head back to Iowa after supper. Donny will save a day of vacation if he reports for work tomorrow. It was great to see him again, but I wish there were something I could do to make things better for them. They're "happily married," but they seem to be stuck with the curse of the "adequate solution."

Sandi

Tim tried to initiate sex last night but wasn't able to get a strong enough erection even with the rubber band. Maybe there's a trick to using the band--enough of an erection to start with or how tight the band is--or maybe he was just too tired after the chaos of having company in the house. Anyway, he gave up trying after 20 minutes or so and took care of me with his hands. I asked whether numbness had returned, and he said no, nothing like that.

I haven't heard from Donny. I assume they got home okay, but probably pretty late.

Sandi

when i want to have a hard on i put a pair of blunt scissors around the base and squeeze, and think its being cut off by a girl, try this with tim and see if it works on him.

Originally Posted by mydesign

when i want to have a hard on i put a pair of blunt scissors around the base and squeeze, and think its being cut off by a girl, try this with tim and see if it works on him.

Thanks for the suggestion, but Tim knows I'm not going to cut. He also knows I can beat his testicles well past the point where he'd stop me if he weren't tied up, so I may try that tonight. It does get him excited.

I got a call from Donny. They're home, and he went to work today.

Sandi

Tim came home last night with a cold. He said he had a runny nose toward lunch time, then noticed his throat was getting scratchy around mid-afternoon. This morning he woke up with a really bad sore throat, and he's been going through Kleenex at a fairly rapid pace. He called in to work to let them know he wasn't going to make it in today, then went back to bed.

So aside from trying to disinfect what he touches, my goal is to take care of errands at a safe distance from my germ-factory hubby. First stop is the supermarket for, along with regular groceries, orange juice and chicken soup.

Sandi

Get some Zicam or Coldeeze...Otherwise...you be next..smooches (air kisses) Jackie

Originally Posted by butterflyjack

Get some Zicam or Coldeeze...Otherwise...you be next..smooches (air kisses) Jackie

I've never tried those. So far I don't have any symptoms, and in general Tim gets probably three or four times as many colds as I do. Maybe it's because I don't go to work every day with people who feel obliged to come to work even when they're sick.

Tim finally got dressed around lunchtime, but he's spent the bulk of the day with a book in one hand and a Kleenex in the other.

It looks as if any playtime is on hold for a few days. What is it they say? If you get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids, take vitamin C, use decongestants and antihistamines and keep warm, you'll get rid of a cold in seven days. If you don't do any of that, it'll drag on for a whole week.

At least Tim isn't being a baby about it. Some husbands regress to the age of three when they get a cold (so other gals tell me).

Sandi

Tim's home again today. His nose has stopped running and is now producing prodigious quantities of thick snot, and his sore throat has been exchanged for an occasional coughing spell. At least it's a change, right? He says he doesn't feel as bad but stayed home so as not to infect others at work. Of course infecting me is another matter, but I suppose I'm already infected if I'm going to be. I'm thinking that going shopping to minimize exposure sounds good. I always like a good excuse to go shopping anyway.

I mentioned Tim's cold and his continuing erection problems to Megan during a phone call last night. She responded by sexting Tim with some provocative photos to his cell phone. I'm going to let him enjoy them, at least until he recovers from his cold.

Sandi

You're the bestest wifey ever...Get some Zicam...spray your mouth...Couldn't hoit...Smooches Jackie

Originally Posted by butterflyjack

You're the bestest wifey ever...Get some Zicam...spray your mouth...Couldn't hoit...Smooches Jackie

Well, I got some Zicam. The directions say it shortens the duration of a cold and should be taken when you see the first symptoms. I gave some to Tim, perhaps too late in his case, and will be looking for symptoms in myself, though I haven't seen anything yet. My immune system seems to be stronger than his.

In the mean time, he's been keeping warm with the pictures Megan has been sending.

Sandi

Tim spent a fair part of the night coughing, so neither of us got much sleep. It's a good thing that this is a weekend and didn't have to get up at 6:00 to get him off to work. So far, I have no symptoms of his cold. I hope to keep it that way.

Megan's getting more creative with her sexting pictures. Yesterday she sent one of her boobs covered with whipped cream. The text with the picture said she needed someone to lick it off. I don't know how (or why) she has time to send him two or three a day. Tim does appreciate the attention, and I gave up trying to discourage her. Now I find myself looking forward to seeing what she comes up with next.

Sandi

Tim hand hoped to spend the afternoon working in the yard, but when the cooler air hit his lungs, he started coughing. It's not all that cold out--66 by our thermometer--but just enough to set him off. I got him to take some NAC (N acetyl L cysteine), which helps him get the crud out of his lungs and reduce the coughing spells, but he's still hacking from time to time. At least he says he's feeling okay generally.

Misty called to invite us over for supper. I warned her that Tim may still be contagious, but she said they'd take the risk. She said she'd fix green chili, and that should burn any germs remaining. Hope so. We'll see. It'll be nice to have a little social life again.

Sandi

We had a great time at Misty and Mike's last night. Misty had invited Cristy, Jason and Ashley also. She had green chili and the fixings for make-it-yourself burritos and soft-flour tacos--tortillas, black beans, refried beans, lettuce, diced tomatoes, taco meat, carnitas, guacamole, sour cream, two kinds of picante sauce, and tortilla chips. There wasn't room at one table for the crowd, so she had the gals at the table and guys at a card table. After a few minutes, the guys moved their card table to the man cave and turned on the TV, and that's pretty much the last we saw of them the rest of the evening.

Ashley and Mia started lobbying early for Ashley to be allowed to spend the night. Misty was okay with that, but Cristy and Jason were expecting to go to an Easter "sunrise" service at the crack of dawn, and it took a lot of whining for the girls to get permission. The three of them left shortly after supper, then brought Ashley back with a small suitcase--pajamas, a change of clothes for today, toothbrush, etc., I suppose. The girls promptly disappeared into Mia's room, leaving Misty and me alone to talk.

I brought Misty up to date on Tim's erectile difficulties. Since he caught his cold, we haven't really tried any sexual activity, but if he'd achieved an erection, I'm pretty sure he'd have told me. I told her as far as I knew, sex was going to involve a rubber band at least for the near future. Misty sympathized but had no suggestions to offer.

When Tim and I got home, around 10:00 pm, we got undressed for bed immediately. He told me he'd coughed only a few times during the evening, and no long coughing spells. When we got into bed, I played with his penis for several minutes, and he did get a partial erection, but not enough for intercourse. He seemed to want to see what he could do without the rubber band, which, as it turned out, wasn't much. He rubbed his penis against my clitoris for several minutes and then gave up. He started trying to give me an orgasm with his hand, but I told him, "Let's just try again tomorrow." We kissed good night and went to sleep.

This morning we just let the sun wake us up. I felt between his legs out of curiosity. He had a fairly firm erection, but it turned out to be a "woodie," because after he went to the bathroom, it had wilted. We lay there petting for several minutes, and again he could get only a partial erection. This time, though, he grabbed the rubber band from the night stand, and we ended up having intercourse. He reached orgasm before I did but kept the rubber band on to maintain his erection, but after a few minutes, that didn't seem to be working well enough, and he finished me off with his hands.

The good news, though, is that he's only coughed a couple of times today. As colds go, his seems to have been a really light one.

Sandi