A favorite activity for my hubby (Tim) and me is for me to tie him up naked, stimulate him sexually by being naked myself and playing with his genitals, and then inflict genital pain and threaten to cut his penis off. Nothing seems to get him more excited than thinking I might cut it off, which is the one thing that seems to both fascinate him almost to the point of obsession and terrify him more than death.

But I know I couldn't actually do that, and I also know that, although he finds the threat more exciting than anything he can imagine, not having a penis would probably not be something he could handle. Besides, I love the great sex we have after our sessions, and I don't want to give that up. He tells me he'd take care of my needs with his fingers and tongue, but it just wouldn't be the same.

We've been playing this game now for as long as we've been married (20 years), and it's really hard to make the threat seem real for that long without doing any cutting. He does find the (real) threats I do provide exciting--having his testicles beaten and being stimulated while he's denied orgasm, for example--but he's gotten too confident that I won't actually do any permanent damage.

I'd like to give him the experience of living without a penis for a while but with no permanent effect. In other words, I'd like to numb his penis for a period of time, say two weeks or so. I think experiencing that would restore the excitement for him. And, frankly, I'd find it exciting to do it to him. As I said before, it's hard to keep doing the same things for 20 years and keep the excitement up.

I've tried wrapping a rubber band around the base of his penis while he's tied up and leaving it there for an hour, and that has had some effect, as he's had trouble getting a full erection for several days afterward, but I'm afraid this could lead to permanent damage in the long run, and I don't want to do that. Besides, even while he couldn't get a full erection, he was able to get an orgasm by masturbation.

Also, he made a device for me to use to give his penis electric shocks, but while he found them painful, there was no numbing effect.

Does anyone know a safe way to numb a man's penis so that he cannot achieve orgasm no matter what he tries for a period of time (a week to a month or so)? I'm not so concerned with whether he can get an erection, but if it interferes with his libido--his sexual desire--the whole thing would be pointless. The idea is for him to want sex, even desperately, and have orgasm out of reach as surely as if he had no penis.

Sandi