Can you flipping believe it? I'm less than 12 hours away from getting on a plane to see my parents. I'm cleaning out my car, and boom. My back goes out. I can barely move.

I know the problem. It has happened before. I have some muscles in the core of my spine, they've been damaged before, and are prone to strains. Problem is, when my back goes out, I can barely bend down to tie my shoes. I'm fine if I'm sitting or standing, it's the transferring in-between that is the problem.

I'm nervous enough about seeing my parents and telling them about my hypogonadism. Now this? Right now I'm cursing the universe and all its atoms. It sounds selfish, but I was hoping to tell my parents about my condition and I wanted to appear strong. How can I appear strong when I can barely stand up out of a chair without wincing in agony?

I'm still going. If I have to crawl onto that plane, I'm going. Just... Dang-it.

Right now, I've loaded up on some pain killers and am waiting for them to kick in. I still have to do laundry and pack my bag. I'm a procrastinator, and I usually like to do things last minute. My back giving up on me makes that all the much harder. I really need to stop procrastinating so much. Maybe I'll work on that tomorrow.

I've already called my parents and told them not to plan anything too strenuous. They like to plan things where we go walking from one end of the city and back, shopping. I think that much activity may be off the table until my muscles begin to mend. Fortunately, I was in my early twenties when my back first went out. My back issues are not unknown to my family.

I just had a vision in my head of how I would tell my parents about my issues. I'm just now trying to re-write how that conversation will go. I "know" it wont go how I imagine, but I like to have a plan. It seems the universe is trying to tell me, not to bet on anything.

For one, I guess I'm checking my luggage now. No way I'm going to be able to lift anything into the overhead compartment. So, there goes that idea. It's really the little details that vex me.

I guess I really am seeing this trip as an important milestone in my life. I can't really equate this to coming out as homosexual to my parents. I'm not sure this is on the same level. I can see parallels however.

I'm explaining to my parents why I am the way I am. I'm admitting my sexuality. Not homosexual, but asexual. I need to tell them I don't want to change. I'm accepting a part of my life I've been at odds with, and I want them to accept me for that. I'm not sure where my journey will take me, but I want the support of my parents as I figure it out.

Does that equate? Am I being pompous, and blowing it up into something bigger than what it is?

Whatever I call my planned discussion with my parents, it's got me worried beyond belief. I really didn't need a screwed up back on top of that pile of worries.

Well, I'm going to try and have some supper before I try doing my laundry. Wish me luck.