So... It was a first week on the job.

The week was chaotic, dealing with the bureaucracy and looots of initial paperwork.
It currently feels like my head is going to explode from the amount of technical and non technical documents that I have read (and some signed).
Oh, and I do not know if it was English or Russian that was spoken more, during this week.
Now I found out, that at least some accents I do not understand, like this: "... what was that word...?", then it "clicks", oh, this one. Repeat, till the end of the meeting. That and I now hate acronyms, when used in big quantities.

But the job looks like it would be interesting. Time will tell.

I am currently searching for a new job, and so I was interviewing with one of the companies. They are outsourcers, so first I interviewed with them (which went well). And today was a phone interview with the customer representatives. Over the phone. From Israel to Russia. Supposedly in English. Can one spell disaster?

First I spent about 20 minutes on the phone, waiting for the interviewer. It didn't help with the anxiety (and remembering, that last time I used spoken english was 3 years ago, didn't help either).
Then was another problem - the line quality - I do not know, what was messed up in the whole setup (may be a VOIP part of the call, or may be my hearing), but I heard properly and understood about 2/3 of what interviewer said + there was noticeable delay. I told about that, and after about 20 minutes of attempts with proper communication, we switched to russian. Still I was half guessing the answers, but reasking some of them helped. I do not know, how I survived to the end of the interview. It was really stressful.

So now I hope that the interview went more or less well, and await for results (with dread).

Yesterday was a bit crazy...
It first started with me coming to work and seeing a mess of workplace. It took me about 15 minutes to reconnect all parts of the computer back, clean the table of all extra things and then to discover something sharp in the chair.
It was not the first case of harrasment at work, but that one was probably most severe.
Then I have done something that I am still unsure about: I described that happened, implying that that was not the first case (ok, with sarcasm, and asking if we were working in a kindergarten, but nothing that could not be published). and sent that to global company mailing list + a copy to boss.
Well a day later and except for some strange looks - all is strangely quiet.

When your mood can change from normal to awful and depressed and back in one day... I do not think that it is the state of mind in which one should take life altering (and irreversible) decisions. I think it is better to wait a month or a bit more before deciding everything.

23 days ago there was the end of second chemical castration trial.
What have I got from it? What have I learned? What I want?
First of all it would be the last trial. No more - either I find the way of archieving permanent results, or I just do nothing...
Main question is - what do I want to do?
The more I think about this, the more ethanol injections seem the way to go. The effects of returning testosterone range from bothering to unppleasant.
In any case if I do it and later regret it, I will only lose fertility.