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I have never been satisfied with my penis. It has always been very small and this has made me feel inferior.In high school, I had a little boy's dick, even compared with those of my classmates who were not particularly well hung. Compared to that of a black boy I knew named Calvin, my prick looked like a newborn baby's little dingus. From the age of 12 onward, I anxiously measured the thing once a month to see how much it had grown. By 18, it was obvious that it was not getting any bigger. Fully erect, it was exactly three inches long and slightly over 1½ inches around, measured in the middle of the shaft. I was disgusted and felt so inferior that I didn't dare date any of the girls for fear that I might have to perform sexually and would make a laughing-stock of myself. If I say so myself, I was , and still am, very handsome and quite a few girls found me attractive. The way I held them off at arm's length made some of them wonder if I was queer. I longed for them, I ached for them (well, my balls did, anyhow), but I was so ashamed of my tiny penis that I didn't dare be intimate with them. At 18, I started answering ads for penis enlargement techniques and devices. I took every useless herbal nostrum advertised for the purpose, vile though some of them tasted. I bought assorted expensive but worthless gadgets at the local adult bookstore. All of them worked, or were supposed to, by suction. One of them used a rubber bulb to exhaust enough air from the suction cylinder to produce a partial vacuum around the penis to cause the blood pressure inside the corpora cavernosa to distend them. That was the theory. In practice, the thing wouldn't even give me a hard-on if I didn't have one already. Another used a hand-operated piston pump to evacuate the suction tube. The shaft pulled away from the piston the second time I used it. I set it aside, planning to try to repair it, though the pump was made of plastic and was probably unrepairable. I have always enjoyed browsing at flea markets and have brought home some of the damnedest junk that struck my fancy. For example, I have the flyball governor from a steam engine. Of course, I have no steam engine to go with it. I have a "B" battery eliminator intended to convert an 1920's battery radio to AC power. I even have a 1920's battery radio, a Crosley 51, but it doesn't take the same voltage "B" battery as the power supplied by the battery eliminator. Still, I can't resist a bargain price on something for which I have no use, like that barograph that never worked and which I need like a hole in the head. One Saturday afternoon, though, I found something I really wanted at the flea market in the abandoned Tri-City Drive-In Theater. There, I found an old but complete Central Scientific vacuum pump, with the original bell jar and hose fitting. It was only $10, a steal. (I could buy a new one much like it for about $300.) I bought it, brought it home and tested it. I set two Petri dishes on the table of the pump. Into one I poured some water and into the other concentrated sulfuric acid. Then I set the bell jar over them and started the pump. It chugged for a minute or two and then the water began to boil and suddenly froze. I was fascinated by that demonstration when I saw it in high school physics and it proved that the pump worked well. In case you wondered, the sulfuric acid is to absorb the vapor from the boiling water. Scrabbling around in my junk box, I found a yard of vacuum tubing, heavy rubber tubing with ¼ inch i.d. and 3/4 inch o/d With it, I connected the suction tube of the broken penis enlarger to the vacuum pump.Now I had a vastly improved penis enlarger capable of applying a much stronger vacuum to my penis. I put the suction tube over my prick and started the pump. As it chugged, my penis swelled up bigger than I had ever seen it before, in a moment, indeed, even bigger than Calvin's huge schwanz. It also began to hurt really badly. In a panic, I reached for the switch to shut the pump off. The pain and swelling escalated faster and faster. Before I could reach the switch, there was muffled "POW" from inside the suction tube, and suddenly, I couldn't see my dick for the whole inside of the clear acrylic tube had turned red. In agony, I shut off the motor and opened the bypass valve to break the vacuum. The suction tube fell off my male organ and I stared in horror at what I had done to myself. In place of my little penis, I saw what looked like a torn red rag, bleeding copiously. My dick had bursted and torn itself to pieces ! I screamed "Oh my God ! NO !" and dashed to the phone and dialed 911. I lost a lot of blood before the ambulance arrived , but they got me to the ER in time to keep me from bleeding to death. There was nothing they could do for my mangled penis, though. It was literally torn to shreds and had to be amputated.. Knowing that all they would be good for would be to make me horny with no means of satisfying my sex urge, I begged the surgeon to take my balls, too, but he refused. He said that he couldn't justify removing healthy organs. If I burned with lust and frustration when I had a dick, however inadequate it might be, imagine how I feel now. The only way that I can relieve myself is one which I find both perverse and disgusting -- but it works, I can stick a vibrator up my ass and stimulate my prostate gland and give myself an orgasm that way. It is certainly not what I ever had in mind, though. |