Ranch Hand For Hire

A Ranch Hands unplanned Experience at the "E" Ranch

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Ranch Hand For Hire
By Steve Aldea

I was driving down this country road exploring the new county I 
just moved into.  I'd taken a year sabbatical from teaching at the 
University just a town away.  I needed a break and settled down for 
the summer.

Adventurous as I usually am, I attended the local fall harvest 
farmers Dance.  I noticed how well the young men on this particular 
Ranch handled themselves such good grace for manners towards the 
local town's women. I found out that the town folk women liked 
dancing and going out with the Ranch Hand boys from the "E" Ranch.  
Ranch hands were a dime a dozen I thought to myself, I was curious 
as to what made these studs so special?

While at the fall festival I heard that the "E" Ranch was the 
biggest Angus cattle ranch of operations in the county and that 
Jack Anderson the owner was well known and well respected from all 
walks of life.  Not much scoop was given about why the big letter 
"E" for being a Ranch, it was also known as a boys home for trouble 
teenage youth that the court appointed in the Custody of Mr. 
Anderson.  It was suggested that I take a tour of the Ranch, being 
that I was an educator and former farm hand myself in my younger 
young buck years.  

A few days went by and I called Jack Anderson for a tour, and had 
hot cakes and coffee for a country farmer's breakfast.  I was 
pleased to see what Mr. Anderson did with his troubled teenage 
youth. Jack had explained to me court appointed boys and that his 
ranch made them a tamer male beast to work with at times!  He 
explained that he taught responsibility with the raising of calves 
and farm animals, it gave something the boys to look forward to and 
it built character inside of themselves.  I agreed to spend a few 
days on the ranch after talking to Jack, I explained the days I was 
a farm hand on the cattle ranch I grew up on as a young buck.  I 
paid a few dollars for my meals and I was soon off to another 
adventure.

I had arrived to the "E" ranch early one Saturday morning with my 
gear I found my bunk for the next two nights.  The next morning I 
was up at the rising sun with the rest of the ranch hands wrestling 
bulls, castrating, branding and giving health shots.  The smell of 
cow shit reminded me of the many cattle I had raised on the TRI -
Jay Ranch in California.

After that chore was completed the ranch hands took the testicles 
they had gathered from castrating their bulls and made a fine feast 
needless to say.  I had more work to do, and I started up the 
tractor for cutting hay before the sun set.


After supper, I retired to my bunk to read a book on Mormon history 
and ran into one of the hands.  I was wearing my boxer shorts and a 
white crew style T-shirt.  The hand stated to me that what the "E" 
meant of the ranch was "Eunuch", he explained that all the hands 
were castrated by the ranch vet named doc Ellis.  He warned me of 
my "Bull Balls", telling me to leave before I was rounded up and 
castrated too!  I wonder now if this was the real reason the local 
town's girls liked the "E" Ranch boys so much, they did not have to 
worry about any pregnancy on dates.  Those Ranch boys little sperm 
factories
Were cut loose and all they could manage to do now was to get a 
hard on!

I laved in my bunk telling myself that the Eunuch deal with Mr. 
Anderson was not part of my two days visit, and I spent the next 
day stringing barbed wire fences and sheering sheep!

I was a bit tired of all my two days of ranching when after supper 
the second night I started feeling kinda dizzy.  I had enough of my 
memory refreshed from my young buck ranch days to last another 
lifetime.  I managed to shower and headed to my bunk when I fell to 
the floor and two study ranch hands helped me to my bunk.  I laved 
down with my legs spread in a V shape. Many of the boys were 
present and to my surprise it was Doc Ellis at my bedside.  I was 
in a fog, not knowing if this was a dream, could it be true what I 
perceived to be happening to me I thought?

Was what happened to the boys on the big "E" ranch going to happen 
to me, I was going to be castrated?  I felt my boxer shorts pulled 
own and taken off of me, I was not sure was happening to me, but 
heard a voice telling me everything was going to be okay and to 
remain calm.  I felt a needle poke around my scrotum and I heard 
one hand say "look at them Bull Balls doc", with the VET Doc 
responding with "Yeah we are going to take care of them Bull Balls 
Tonight" for our ranch guest!  I felt a needle in my arm and I 
became more in a fog.  I felt some tugging at my scrotum for about 
20 minutes and Doc Ellis had made two mid line cuts about two 
inches long on each side of my scrotum.  He removed my testicles 
with what the ranch hands used on cattle, an emasculator, to clamp 
and crush the cords before cutting my testicles loose.  I heard 
them put my severed nuts into a jar named Ranch Guest.  I awoke up 
the next morning mad as hell when I looked under my boxer shorts to 
find I had no balls.  I hand some bandage over nut sack and one of 
the more brawny good looking ranch hands held me onto the bed with 
his strong arms telling me I had to experience the true essence of 
what the "E" ranch was all about, that having the procedure one, I 
would adjust and later under the tranquil of being a Eunuch.

I did not say much to the ranch crew as I departed EUNUCH ranch 
that day, I felt a new and rewarding transition that next fall 
teaching history and encouraged my fellow male
Students to take a trip to the "E" Ranch in Hazard county.