Registered Sex Offender Part 5: Kim

...Charlie

Janet sat and studied her brother carefully. Chip was very uncomfortable, wondering if she was going to cause a scene with Steve when he showed up. He was disappointed, perhaps even hurt. He had actually thought that she would be pleased that he wasn’t alone. "Tell me about it," she ordered.
"About what?"
"About how you two make love. How d'ya do it?"
"Later, sis, cause here he comes. He said his mom had to leave early."

"Chip told me you were almost due," Steve said after they were introduced. "But I had no idea you'd be this big!"
"Did he tell you he was the father?" she smiled.
"Uh-huh. He told me."
"Wanna feel it move?"
"Sure! Can I?"
"Right there. Feel that?"
"Uh-huh."
"Better feel it good, cause the next one in there's gonna be yours!"

Steve looked at Janet sharply, not sure what to make of her remark. But Chip knew. He knew this was her way of saying that she approved of his lover, that she wanted him for herself. He wasn’t even close to facing the facts yet, but he was starting to get an inkling. Chip’s keen, alert mind had learned a lot about reading people in the time he’d been incarcerated, and he was beginning to get some vibes from his sister that went against everything he had believed. In an instant, as soon as she’d seen him, his sister had seen a male person that she found attractive. The keyword here was “THAT,” not “WHO.” Chip couldn’t admit it yet, but deep down he had seen firsthand that Janet had seen something special in Stevie, but it wasn’t a person she’d seen; she had seen a black, handsome, fucking machine. Suddenly it was as if Chip didn’t exist; all Janet’s attention turned toward her new conquest.

Chip was confused, but he wasn’t ready to admit it. Janet had been so hurt, so upset that her beloved brother was having sex with someone else; but that hurt and disappointment had evaporated like a fine mist when she’d seen the object of Chip’s affection. Chip remembered a similar reaction when he’d got involved with Kim. He and Kim had spent almost every spare minute together, and Janet hadn’t appreciated it even a little bit. She had used her incredible power over him to make him feel guilty and dirty. Now she was using that same power to do it again, but still Chip wasn’t fully aware of what was going on. He only knew he wasn’t really comfortable with how things were going down.

"E-Excuse me?" Steve queried.
"I said," Janet said with mock impatience, "my brother has really good taste. And I want what he has. And he's gonna share you with me because he always shares everything, and I think it's a great idea! We’ll all live together when you get out. It’ll be so much fun!"
"You told her?" Steve demanded of Chip, "a-about us?"
"Uh-huh. Didn't I tell ya my sister was the greatest?"
"Yeah, you did. But I never dreamed..."

"We’ll all live together and we’ll have so much fun,” she gushed excitedly. “But first, you gotta get your butts outta here," Janet reminded them. "Right now, I'm gonna bust if you don't tell me exactly what it is you guys do together. You got each other, but I got nobody. The least you can do is feed my fantasies!" It was obvious that Janet had once again taken control of the situation. Chip was still under her control, but he had begun to think for himself a little too.

For the next hour, until the visit was officially over, Chip and Steve described in intricate detail to Janet exactly what they did with each other. She listened intently, asked questions, even made the odd suggestion. Chip caught a whiff of her scent, and he knew that she must be sopping wet. That almost drove him wild! But of course there was nothing he could do about it. After she had left and he’d had time to think about it, Chip wondered why they had told her some of the things they had. Chip also knew that before much more time had passed, his sister would be involved with two boys so she could watch the things she’d just heard about.

"Your sister is sure strange!" Steve remarked at supper. "Does she really want me to live with y'all?"
"That’s what she said. What d'you think of the idea?"
"I think it’s kinda weird, but I guess it'd be ok. But why? Why me?"
"Same reason I fell for you: You're one sexy spook, that's why!"
"Hey, we gotta get outta here! We gotta..."
"Hey," Chip said with feigned hurt, "what about me? You lost interest in me?"
"Wait'll lights out, and I'll show ya whether I've lost interest."
"Promises, promises."
"Consider this one a threat," Steve said with a grin.
"Promises, promises!" Chip repeated.

"How'd your visit with Janet go?" Ed Barker asked as Chip got settled and lit a smoke. It was over a week later, the first time Chip had seen Ed since the memorable Sunday afternoon.
"Fine," Chip said cheerfully. "It was really great seeing her. Thanks a lot for arranging it."
"Glad I was able to. Did you tell her about Stevie?"
"Uh-huh. Actually, she figured it out. I guess she knows me pretty well."
"How'd she take it?"
"Not bad, really. She was kinda hurt at first, I think. But when I explained how it is in here, she calmed down. And she really liked Stevie."

"You know, Chip, when you get out, you and Janet have got to get a grip on reality. You're brother and sister, not lovers."
"We're both, Ed."
"But you can't be, Chip!"
"Who said?"
"Society! Common sense! Practicality! Shit, you can't even get married!"
"So what? Haven't you noticed? Lots o' couples don't get married these days. We love each other, Ed. Isn't that what’s important?"
"Of course it is! But there are other considerations. Things that..."
"You mean like having babies? Well, you've seen Jan, so you already know, the one we're having now is certainly doing just fine."

"Okay, Chip, I'm not gonna argue the point. Why don't you just go on with your story? It might help me understand."
"There isn't really a lot more to tell. After that first time I had an orgasm, the roller coaster started all over again. It seemed all the girls who knew Janet knew about me, and they all wanted to do it with me. I certainly didn't mind, in fact I thought it was great fun!"

"But, didn't you worry about pregnancy? Did you use any kind of protection at all?"
"Ed, I was thirteen years old! It seemed like half the women in the high school wanted to fuck me! I was so busy resting between girls so I'd be sure to be able to perform, I never had time to think of birth control. I really didn't understand all the concepts anyway, and Janet had assured me over and over there was no danger. No, to answer your question, I have never used a condom in my life. All I knew was, every time I got a hard on, there was this great smelling girl spreading her legs and making me feel so good I thought I was dying!"

"Where was Janet all this time?"
"Right there with me. She sometimes joined in, poking and probing at my butt, or licking me, or just running her hands up and down my back."
"So she was getting off just seeing you with her friends?"
"Yeah, I guess."

"Chip, could it be she was using you? Maybe she was even getting paid by her friends?"
"No, not Janet! She just loved me, and loved making me happy. She had almost totally lost interest in the games until I started cumming. Then when she saw how much I loved it, she just kept bringing me more and more girls. It'd probably still be going on if it hadn't been for Kim."
"Kim?"
"The twelve year old."
"Tell me about it."

Chip went silent as he remembered. “Kim was different,” he muttered as the tears welled up in his eyes. Those eyes, those deep, bright blue eyes, had gone cloudy as Chip recalled their first encounter.
“Different how?” Ed pressed. Somehow his years as a counselor kicked into high gear. Without knowing how or why, he sensed that he was finally getting to the very core of the matter.
“I dunno, Ed,” Chip replied, that same distant look in his eyes. “She was just... different.

"It was a little over a year ago, I think, maybe a little more. We were home alone on a Saturday afternoon. Mom and Dad had gone away for the weekend, and I had spent the night with Janet. We had made love once, then two of her friends came over early in the morning. Cheri was one of them. She was one of the first ones I had done it with, and we'd been regulars ever since. She had even changed my shitty diapers when we were playing that game. But that Saturday, she didn't want to fool around.

"I was disappointed, because as much as I was doing it, I could never get enough. But she just wasn't interested. She felt bad about it though, and said she'd make it up to me. 'How?' I asked her.

"'Perhaps you can do us both a favor,' she said, 'but you gotta really trust me on this one.'
'Trust you?' I asked. 'Whadda ya mean?'
'I mean, I know this really special girl. She's a virgin, and really anxious to meet you. She's a little nervous, but I told her some of the things you've done with me and she'd really like to try it. But you have to be really gentle and careful.'

"Well, I guess you know from my grades, my soccer record, things like that, I love a challenge. Of course virgins were not new to me, half the girls I'd screwed many times had been virgins the first time I'd done it. But I was also very proud of the fact I'd never hurt anyone. By now I had read about techniques, had been told about different things by some of the girls, and I knew that sex could be very brutal. But it never was with me. For me it was always something special, something delicate, to be enjoyed by both parties. I dunno, maybe that's why I had so many girls. But Cheri's proposition, the way she put it to me, was like a red flag! Before I even knew who or what, it was something I had to do. So I said yes, THEN I asked who it was.

"'It's my sister Kim,' she said. 'She's really sweet, but she's kinda on the small side.'
'When can you bring her around?' I said. Even now when I think of it, I musta sounded a little like a repairman asking when she could bring her TV to get fixed, or when she could bring her female pig to get bred or something. But please, Ed, remember, I was only thirteen. When you're thirteen, twelve doesn't seem that young. What I didn't know till later was, she wasn't even twelve! Not quite.

"Cheri promised to go right home and get her sister. I went to take a shower, which of course meant that I stood in the shower while Janet and one of her friends washed me. In those days I hardly ever had to wash; I just stood there and let the girls do it."
"Weren't you even a little embarrassed?" Ed asked.
"Sure, I was at first. But when you get treated to some of the things I was getting regularly, you soon get over any feeling of shame or embarrassment.

"When Cheri got back with her sister, I was in the living room dancing with Janet. We both absolutely loved to dance, and together we were pretty good. She'd had me put on a pair of red soccer shorts, with no underwear, and a very loose fitting red T-shirt. She said I looked sexy in red, and even sexier in nylon soccer shorts. I had no shoes or socks on, and that always made me feel sexy, for reasons I'll never understand.”

Chip went silent, his eyes glazed and he sat, looking into space. Ed recognized the look; he had seen it before. He knew his young patient was no longer in his office, he was in another time, another place, another lifetime. He sat and waited patiently, regarding the handsome young teen, waiting for him to come back to the present.

Once upon a lifetime, I looked in someone's eyes
And felt the fire burning in my heart for the very first time

She was scared and young, and had never tasted love
So I took her by the hand, and a boy became a man
Once upon a lifetime

And once upon a lifetime, you hold the Queen of Hearts
And if you gamble on a diamond when the dealin' starts

You stand to lose it all as the cards begin to fall
And the lesson learned is hard, you're only dealt the Queen of Hearts
Once upon a lifetime

So if you're taking chances, know the chance you take
A broken heart's a high price to pay
Foolish ways will make fools of the wise
And the best things seldom come along twice

Once upon a lifetime, you know that you've been blessed
When you hold your first born tenderly against your chest

And through the innocence you see, the value of family
And you feel a special bond that only comes along
Once upon a lifetime

So if you're taking chances, know the chance you take
A broken heart's a high price to pay
Foolish ways will make fools of the wise
And the best things seldom come along twice
And people only find love like yours and mine
Once upon a lifetime

The song spun round and round in Chip’s head as he remembered meeting the girl that had been his undoing, in more ways than one. He had heard that song for the first time only minutes after he’d said good-bye to Kim that first time. He knew now, had known then, that Kim was that “once in a lifetime” opportunity; an opportunity that was lost to him now. Ed had to wait for his young patient to finish crying before he could hear the story of Kim.

"When I met Kim, I was... well... shocked. She was tiny! She only came up to my shoulders, and as you well know, I'm small for my age. There was no question about it, she was a little girl. But she was also absolutely ravishing!

"She stood there wearing a gorgeous yellow cotton dress, very full skirt, tight at the waist and bare shoulders with those puffy little sleeves. Her skin was the color of copper, and her dark red hair was long and flowing over her bare shoulders like a shroud. It was so full and luxurious, so shiny and inviting. I always was a sucker for long hair, and Kim's hung to the small of her back. She had white knee socks on, with white shoes. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life! But I wasn't an animal; not completely anyway.

"'Cheri,' I said, 'Isn't she awful young? And small?' Ed, Kim was standing there looking up at me with this very strange expression on her face, and I ignored her and talked to her big sister like we were discussing buying a dog or a lamb or something! I have often thought of that. Why the hell didn’t I speak directly to Kim?

“Cheri didn't answer me, but Kim did. 'I'm ready, Chip,' she said. 'Please don't say no just because I'm small. Cheri has told me all about it, and I know I can do it, especially if it's with you. She told me how good looking you are and how nice you are. She told me being with you... that way... was the nicest thing in the whole world. Please?'

"Jesus Christ, Ed, do you have any idea what that did to me? Here was this pretty little girl, looking so great I could've eaten her whole, telling me she finds me attractive, and wanting to have sex with me! I know it was wrong, maybe even sick! I knew it was wrong then! But I'm pretty sure, if I were in that same scene this very minute, the outcome would be the very same. I absolutely had to get my hands into her hair; and I had to find out if she was really as soft and delicate as she looked. I was as helpless as if I was chained. Of course I had no choice! If only I’d... I dunno...”

There was another outburst of tears as Chip tried to continue. “Would you rather continue tomorrow?” Ed offered.
“No,” Chip said. “Sorry, I’ll be ok. But just thinking of what I did...”
“Take your time,” Ed said. He scribbled a few notes, knowing that if he didn’t have something to do he’d be staring at the already traumatized youth.

"I kneeled down and kissed Kim lightly on the lips,” Chip went on. “'Are you sure you wouldn't like to wait a little while?' I asked.
'Don't you like me?' she asked in return.
'Are you kidding?' I returned, 'I think you're beautiful!'
'Then let's try,' she suggested. 'If I change my mind, I promise I'll tell you.'

"I took Kim by the hand to lead her up the stairs. Janet, Cheri, and her other friend started to follow. 'No,' I ordered, 'this one's between Kim and me. Okay Kim?' She squeezed my hand in appreciation. I took her to my room and closed and locked the door. That was the first time I can remember ever taking control and crossing my sister. If only... 'If you like,' I said, 'we can stop right now. We can tell them we did it. No one need ever know we didn't.'

'You really don't like me, do you?' she said anxiously.
'It's not that,' I explained, 'I'm just afraid I might hurt you, and I couldn't stand that!'
'Do you want to stop now?' she said. She looked up at me with the biggest, greenest eyes I have ever seen! Her face was framed by that gorgeous red hair.
'N-no,' I stammered, 'I don't. But it doesn't have to be today.'
'Let's try,' she said. 'Remember, I promised. If I change my mind, or if it hurts, I’ll say so.'

"I have been undressed by a lot of girls, Ed, and a lot of them have been undressed by me. But the process never took longer, and was never enjoyed nearly as much, as it was that Saturday morning. I picked Kim up and laid her on the bed, then sat beside her and kissed her. She was as light as a feather! Her hair was all around her head like a halo, her tiny body seemed to be shrinking and becoming more beautiful before my eyes! She put her arms around me, her tiny hands scratching gently at my neck and returned my kiss. 'You're real nice,' she whispered. She smiled ever so slightly, but it was a nervous smile. I’ve thought a lot about it since and I’ve finally realized that she was only there because Cheri had told her God knows what. If I’d only thought about it then...

"'Have you ever been kissed before?' I asked her, 'by a boy, I mean?'
'Not really,' she answered, 'but Cheri's told me you can kiss really good. I kinda know about it, so if you want, you can kiss me... uh... your special way.'

"When I first touched her lips with my tongue, I felt her tiny body stiffen and shudder. I hesitated, thinking that she'd overestimated how much she had been told. Just as I was about to withdraw it, her lips parted and her body seemed to melt completely into my arms. She made a very soft whimpering sound as my tongue explored the sweetest, softest mouth it had ever encountered.

"By the time I got her undressed down to her yellow lace panties, I was a raging bull! Up to this point in my love life - errr... sex life, I had always been the little brother, the toy, the slave. It had always been me who was undressed by the other one, me who was courted, me who was shown what came next. But with Kim, I was the leader, the suitor! She waited for my lead, then she responded. She just lay on her back, anxiously awaiting my next move, then made her counter move.

"I placed a small hickey on her neck, down low where it would be hidden. She placed one on mine. I nuzzled her almost flat nipples, then sucked them. She did the same. My nipples were more erect than hers, enough so that she got them between her teeth and bit gently. My breath was coming so hard and fast now I was in danger of hyperventilating! This was so different from all Janet’s friends. This was... dammit Ed, I can’t explain it, but just then it was more important to me to make Kim feel good than anything else in the world.

"I bit her ear; she stuck her tongue in mine. I nibbled her navel, she sucked mine. She had worn no perfume, which was a first for me. So instead of the aroma of some exotic cologne, I smelled the natural musk of a young human body, just beginning to mature. Oddly, with that pretty little body on the bed with me, almost totally devoid of sexually identifying shape, boyish, really, I knew. I didn't even think of it till much later, but that's when I knew that I could enjoy sex with anyone, boy or girl, woman or man. Kim was so much like a boy as she lay there, and yet totally different. And so incredibly beautiful! It was almost as if it wasn’t sex we were about to do at all, but something so much more special and profound... But I guess just then I was willing to tell myself anything.

"When I started to pull her panties down, she showed her first sign of resistance. I think what I felt was relief, figuring that she was going to stop me; because by then there was no way in the world I could stop myself. She was still staring up at me with those gorgeous green eyes. 'Please,' she whispered, 'let me look first? Please?'

"I wasn't sure what she wanted, but she made me understand. She rose slightly and gently, so gently I could hardly feel it, she pushed me flat on the bed - MY bed. Then she took those tiny hands of hers and worked her way slowly, teasingly, up my legs until they were just below where the legs joined my hips. Still she had not touched, nor did she search for, anything other than legs.

"Abruptly, she withdrew her hands and started toying with my waistband. It was almost as if she was undecided whether to pull the shorts off or not. Her eyes were still locked on mine as her fingers wandered inside, down an inch or two, then out again. Her eyes wandered downward. Her hand followed her eyes until it was resting on my ready penis, with only those nylon shorts between.

"Her eyes widened and locked again on mine as her fingers closed on my sex. She moved her hand up and down its length, her eyes filled with wonder. 'Can... can I take your shorts off now?' she asked.
'We can't really go any further unless somebody does,' I answered, trying to make light of the scene. I was suddenly startled to realize I was embarrassed! All that I’d been through, all the girls who had seen me, undressed me, diapered me and even been screwed by me, and suddenly I was embarrassed!

"Kim told me later that she had never been around any males other than her father. Cheri had described me to her in intimate detail, but nevertheless she was totally unprepared for what she saw when she finally pulled my shorts down. I lay there in absolute ecstasy as she touched and caressed, poked and examined. 'Wow!' she whispered, 'I had no idea they got so big!'
'That one's not really all that big,' I told her, but she was convinced it was the most magnificent piece of man flesh she would ever see. In fact for my age it was kinda big, but of course I had never thought of it that way before. But at that moment it seemed more like a weapon of torture, not an organ of pleasure. Kim was so tiny!

"'Want to take mine off now?' she offered as she lay back down beside me.
'Only if you want me to,' I answered.
'No fair,' she exclaimed, 'I asked you if you wanted to.'
'Uh-huh,' I answered. She made no more response, but simply spread her legs ever so slightly and lifted her bottom.

"I took the panties off as quickly as I could and still be gentle, all the time with my eyes locked on hers. Maybe I wanted to see some sort of resistance, or defiance; but all I saw was submission and desire. It was almost as if she was saying 'do it, but please don't hurt me.'”

Chip couldn’t go on. “She was so beautiful,” he sobbed. “But she was just a little girl! We did it twice, Ed! Twice I stuck my big prick into that little girl’s body! Before I was even finished I had started hating myself, but I couldn’t help it. Once I got started, once I touched her, I couldn’t have stopped myself even if I’d tried. But I didn’t try, Ed,” he moaned. “I never even tried to stop! I deserve to be in here. If they’re smart they’ll never let me out! God, why did I have to be born a boy?”

“It’s ok,” Ed soothed. “We can stop for the day if you want to.” But Chip didn’t want to stop. The emotions, the guilt, the remorse were coming in torrents now along with the tears, and Chip wanted to get it all out like the puss of an infection.

So if you're taking chances, know the chance you take
A broken heart's a high price to pay
Foolish ways will make fools of the wise
And the best things seldom come along twice...

The song echoed over and over in Chip’s head; torturing him, taunting him, reminding him of a lost love, how utterly foolish he had been.

“By the time we had finished the second time, Janet and Cheri were both banging on the door,” he went on when he could. "We got dressed quickly then and let the other girls in. They wanted to know if we'd done it, and Kim said yes, that we had. She had some tissues stuck in her panties because she was still bleeding a little, but she insisted that I hadn't hurt her. She didn't smile much; in fact she made very little outward expression of her feelings about the incident. But when she and her sister left, she gave me a big hug and said thanks, that she'd see me later.

"Later turned out to be sooner. Janet and I just stayed home the rest of the evening. I felt really strange and told her so. 'What do you mean, strange?' she asked.
'Promise you won't laugh?'
'No, little brother, I won't laugh.'
'It's Kim,' I said. 'She is so pretty, I... I have this wish... this real strong urge...'
'You want her again so soon?’
'No... Well, yes... but... Janet... could I... uh... you know how you used to dress me up?'
'You wanna be a pretty little girl again?'
'Uh-huh. Could I?'

"'Not exactly,' Kim laughed. 'You got a pretty big thing there that little girls don't have. But if you'd like to dress up, then let's get to it.'

"I can't explain it, but getting dressed up and pretending I was just like Kim was really important to me that night. Janet got into it too, and between us we did a great job! After dark we went out for a walk, even went into a store and had a soda! Of course at bedtime, I had Janet undress me and then put me into one of her flimsiest nighties. Once in bed, of course, I became a male again. We romped about the sack most of the night, me with Janet's nightie still on, she with nothing at all. I can’t explain why I’d wanted to do all that... maybe I just hoped that some of the guilt would go away if I was a little girl too. I dunno, but whatever I was trying to do, it didn’t help.

"By the time I woke up Sunday, it was after noon. Janet had gone out, leaving a note saying she wouldn't be back until five or six. I had a quick shower, then pulled on a pair of boxer shorts, then my favorite black soccer shorts. I was just getting ready to leave the house to see if I could find someone to play tennis with when the doorbell rang. I threw down the T-shirt I was about to put on and went to answer the door. It was Kim!

"'I... I knew you'd be alone,' she said shyly, 'cause your sister came by and got Cheri earlier. I thought I'd come and see if you could... uh... play.'

"Each of us was absolutely thrilled with the appearance of the other. She stood in the doorway, staring at my shorts, my legs, my bare chest. Her mouth was slightly open. She had obviously just come from church. She was wearing a white confirmation dress - all frilly and full and long and beautiful! She had white stockings on and white shoes, sorta semi high heels. Her hair was bunched together in the back and held there with a huge white ribbon that was tied in a bow with long tails going halfway down her back. I found myself completely at a loss for words. 'Come in,' I said in a hoarse whisper, which is the loudest noise I could make.

"I offered Kim a coke, which she accepted. We sat down in the living room, each still admiring the other. 'You musta just had a shower,' she observed, 'cause you smell real good.'
'Thanks,' I said weakly, then added: 'I suspect you've already heard this a hundred times today, but you're beautiful!'
'Thanks,' she said, blushing slightly.
"'You're really not dressed for playing basketball or anything like that,' I said, 'but I might be able to find you something of Janet's to wear if you like.'
'I don't want to play basketball.'
'Tennis?'

“She shook her head. She got up and came over to where I was sitting, pushed my legs apart and dropped to her knees between them. Those big green eyes were locked on mine as her hands, one on each of my legs, slid slowly up, all the way, past the boxers until they found my manhood, which was already pounding. 'You said you might like to do it again,' she said. 'It'd be really nice if we could.'
"I couldn't talk, so I didn't try. I stood up, then picked Kim up and carried her up the stairs to my room, then closed and locked the door. Once there I had an ever so slight feeling of remorse. 'Are you sure?' I asked. 'Wouldn't you rather take a few days to think about it?'

“She didn't answer, but just shook her head and kicked off her shoes. When she reached behind her head to unzip her dress, I held her hands. 'Let me?' I whispered, 'Please?'

“She nodded.

"After we'd finished, we lay in what would become our favorite position: Kim on top of me, still united at the groin. She wanted to talk about what we were doing, how much she loved it, and how she thought I was so wonderful. I told her that she was the wonderful one, that she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life! I don't think anyone had ever told her she was beautiful before, because she started to cry. 'You really think so?' she said through her tears.
'I know so!' I said definitely.

"I told her how she had inspired me the night before to dress up the way I used to when I was a little boy. Kim brightened and stopped crying. 'Would you do it for me?'she asked excitedly.
'Kim,' I said, 'that's kinda embarrassing!'
"Please?' she pleaded. I agreed. 'But first,' she said with a broad smile, 'I can feel you growing inside me. Man! That's so neat!'

"Well, neat might be one word to describe it. I can think of others, but I guess wonderful is as good as any. I was indeed coming back to life. Soon, very soon, we were climaxing again! We hadn't separated, hadn't moved really. Kim was still on top of me, covered by a light sheet, writhing and gyrating like she'd been doing it all her life. When I told her I was getting ready to come again, she startled me by jumping off real quick, then whirling around and taking the whole thing in her mouth, while she ground her sweet little crotch, all dripping with her juices, my semen, and a little bit of blood, into my face. God, if I wasn't coming before, I certainly was now! I get so hard it hurts just thinking about it!'

"Kim told me later, as she was helping me get dressed in the flimsiest dress I could find, that her sister had told her about the move she'd made on me. To my recollection, Cheri had never done that; but I guess she'd thought about it, or perhaps read about it. Kim and I didn't do it a lot, but once in a while, when I least expected it, she would do it to me. Kim learned so fast what pleased me, and everything she learned, she did with all her consciousness. By the time she finally got dressed and left that afternoon, we had done it five or six times, and every single one was more special than the last! I think by then I had rationalized that we were in love, and love knows no age boundaries. I still felt guilty, but I told myself SHE had come to ME! It’s so easy to justify what feels so incredibly good.

"That was the last time I ever got dressed in girls' clothing. After we had finished dressing me, Kim stood back and surveyed our handiwork. 'Nah,' she said frankly, 'I don't like it. You're such an incredibly great looking boy, you should stick with that. I can't wait to have my picture taken with you. But when I'm with you, I want everyone to know I'm with a guy - a super guy!'"

"And did y'all ever get your picture taken?" Ed asked.
"Sure, lots o' times! I only have the one I had when I was arrested though. The rest were at home and have probably all been thrown away by now, and I suppose Kim's thrown hers away too. It's in my locker, if you'd like to see it."
"I'd love to! But you never dressed up again?"
"Uh-uh! If Kim didn't like it, then I didn't either. Janet had controlled me totally for so long, as long as I could remember; but without even trying Kim had taken over that control. I would have cheerfully jumped to my death in a pit of fire for Kim, but I knew she would never ask me to do anything like that. I guess it was Kim that made me realize I wasn't bad looking, and I became proud of myself and my looks.

"Kim and I were regulars after that, even to the exclusion of some of Janet’s friends, only with her it was always different. With Kim it was never just Hi, let’s fuck, thanks, see ya later. There were times when we screwed every day for two and three weeks at a time, sometimes more than once a day. It's a miracle she didn't get pregnant sooner than she did. But Kim was the only one I ever had that I never had in front of anyone. What we had was private, and beautiful. I wouldn't call it a love affair because neither of us even knew what that meant, but it was more than raw sex too. It was sorta like a mutual discovery. Almost overnight Kim and I shared everything, were always together. Sometimes Janet got pissed off because for the first time in my life she wasn’t first in my life. She even tried to split us up, but I don’t think a nuclear bomb could have separated Kim and me. We were best friends, tennis partners, fans at each other's sporting events, and of course... uh..."

"Lovers?"

"Yeah, lovers! I was gonna say fuck buddies, or sex partners, but that just doesn't fit what we had and what we were. Yeah, we were lovers!

"The last time I saw Kim was in the courtroom. It wasn’t even a trial because I didn’t have a trial. It was just a hearing, I guess to determine if they were gonna go to trial. It was closed of course because of our ages. Kim was called to the stand to testify against me. She told the truth, which was basically that I had boffed her repeatedly over a period of several months. But she also pointed out that she had come to me, not the other way around. She also told them that if she could do it again, the only change would be that she'd use some sort of birth control so we wouldn't get caught. She said that we had become good friends, and that the sex was just one of the things we shared. That's the word she used: SHARED! When she came down off the stand, she looked me right in the eyes with those big green eyes of hers. 'I'm sorry, Chip,' she said as she started to cry. And then she said she loved me!”

Chip went silent again. He sat as still and stiff as a statue. Ed knew he had lost the boy again as Chip’s tortured mind drifted back to that time, remembering another song he’d heard while he was in the county jail waiting to learn his fate. Most of all he remembered not really caring about his sentence or his life, only wanting to die.

Once in every life, someone comes along
And you came to me, it was almost like a song.

You were in my arms, right where you belong
We were so in love, it was almost like a song.

January through December, we had such a perfect year
Then the flame became a dying ember
All at once, you weren’t here

Now my broken heart... cries for you each night
And it’s almost like a song, but it’s much to sad to write

Now my broken heart cries for you each night
and it’s almost like a song, but it’s much too sad to write.....

It’s too sad to write.

"Jesus!" Ed exclaimed. "Jesus H. Fucking Christ!" He and Chip had been behind closed doors for over four hours; Chip was drenched with perspiration, shaking like a leaf, tears flowing like fountains. He had smoked over a pack of cigarettes.

"I know," Chip agreed. "I'm some sorta sick dude. Prettiest little girl in the state, and nicest inside too, and I hadda fuck it all up! But you wanna know the sickest part of all? If Kim were here right now, even after all that's happened, I'd ask you to leave us alone, and I'd do it again! That's the kinda hold she had on me. That’s the kinda sick piece of shit I’ve turned into."

"Chip," Ed said after a long pause, "after that story, if Kim were here right now, I'd leave the office without being asked! But it wouldn't be the same, would it?"
"How's that?"
"You said it yourself. You weren't a teenager molesting a child; you weren’t a horny kid getting your rocks off, you were two children, experiencing, learning, savoring, sharing! You two didn't even realize it, Chip, but you were in love!"

"Don't mess with me, Ed, please! I know I'm just a fucking machine. Take away my dick, and there's nothing left."
"I don't think so. I think that you're one hot dude all right, but it's not because you're just a fucking machine. I think it's just because you've never learned any other way to express yourself."
"That's crazy! I always made good marks in English Composition. I consider myself a good writer."
"That's different, Chip. Throughout history there've been thousands of very eloquent poets, writers, playwrites, who hadn't the vaguest idea how to interact with those around them. It's one thing to express your mind, quite another to express your heart. The only way you know to connect with people is with physical contact. That’s all you’ve ever been taught, and that’s all you know. In the eyes of the law you did a horrible thing. But what you did was just an expression of how you felt, what you experienced, and that’s beautiful! Believe me, Chip, some day you’ll realize how incredibly fortunate you are to have had that experience; and I suspect from what you’ve told me you haven’t heard the last of Kim."

To be continued...