Registered Sex Offender Part 13: Preparing for Parole

Partly due to his physical changes, but also because of his well known attitude and total willingness to defend his virtue at any cost, Chip was not bothered sexually. There was an ample supply of boys who were more than willing should Chip show any interest, but they contented themselves with making sure he knew of their desires. Chip had expected to continue some sexual activity, not because he wanted it so much as he doubted he could avoid it; but avoid it he did. Actually, before long the amount of nightly commuting in the dorm started to reduce as more boys followed Chip's lead and asserted themselves, rejecting unwanted suitors in the process.

"You know you're gonna be eighteen next month," Ed said as he looked across his desk at a very immature looking teenager.
"Yeah," Chip said ruefully, "I know. I suppose I gotta think about moving sooner or later. Any idea where I'm going?"
"Nowhere, Chip. You're staying here."
"But... you said I couldn't stay here my whole sentence!"
"Yeah, well, I've taken it up the line, and some folks have observed you and your... uh... size and looks. We've all agreed that placing you in a setting with a bunch of sex starved adult cons would be cruel and unusual punishment. So we're gonna stretch a point and keep you here another year, with a goal of releasing you this time next year. You're legally good here till you're twenty-one, and by then hopefully prison will just be a memory."

Chip sat quietly, a stunned expression on his face."R-release?" he echoed.
"Of course, Chip! Did you think we were gonna keep you here forever? And by next year, the way you're going backwards, we might just have to send you to day care!"
"But... I'll only have four years in. How can you..."
"Chip, no one serves their full sentence! You'll still be on probation, but you'll be free to come and go without those goddammed chains! You must really hate them."
"Not really. I think they're kinda like a security blanket. I really don't mind 'em at all. And they’re my ticket to do things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to do."
"Well, like it or not, you're not gonna be a professional prisoner in here. It's time to start rebuilding your life, Chip."
"Yeah," Chip answered bitterly, "I got so fuckin' much to look forward to! Like all those relatives and friends that came to my high school graduation. Like that long line of people who formed asking for my graduation picture."

"Speaking of pictures, I keep meaning to give this back to you."
"Keep it, if you want it."
"You mean you don't want it?"
"Yeah, I want it. That's the trouble. I can't look at it without crying, even after all this time."
"Tell me about it, Chip?"
"You always say that! I'd rather just forget that picture, and all it means."
"Please, Chip? It might help..."

"It's just that, when I look at that picture, knowing all that I know now, I realize just what a wonderful thing we had, and we didn't even know it! With every other girl, I was just a plaything, a toy! I was the cute little boy who would piss his pants on command. I was the little boy with the big dick who would stick that big dick in any hole that presented itself. That wasn't sex, perverted or otherwise! It was just mechanical body coupling. There was no more feeling than two dogs fucking in the back yard.

"With Kim it was so different! With her it was sharing! It was mutual admiration and discovering. Oh, sure, we were too young and should never have been doing it, but once you get around that fact, it was absolutely beautiful! We never once did anything we didn't agree on, Ed. Not once! Whether it was having sex, or kissing, or eating a hamburger, we always did it together; and if one of us didn't want to do something, we didn't do it. No one else cared, Ed. With all the rest I was a pawn, expected to do whatever was required regardless of my feelings. Of course I had been doing it so long, killing myself to perform well and please everyone, that I went along. But with Kim, I was a somebody! I mattered!"

"This is kinda personal," Ed said, "but it's important. What's your sex life like now?"
"I don't have one, Ed. I haven't had a sex partner since Andy."
"What about Sean?"
"Nope. We were just friends. And of course I needed him."
"He did it, didn't he Chip?"
"Not exactly. Yes, he did the actual cutting because I couldn't. But I didn't lie to you. Sean is a nice guy, but he's not very bright. I talked him into it. He really didn't have a chance, Ed. So even though Sean actually cut the cords, he was like my personal puppet. So you can't blame him for being too fuckin' stupid to know he was being conned."

"What are your future plans? I mean sexually?"
"I don't have any plans, because I don't think I have a sexual future. My dick is the size of a twelve year old's now, and that's fine with me."
"You know with hormone therapy you might could get it back, maybe even perform."
"With who, Ed? I haven't had a hard on for so long I'm beginning to forget what it's like. And that's just fine with me."

"What if I were to tell you that you're gonna have a visitor Sunday?"
"You know I like visitors! Who is it?"
"Chip, I don't know..."
"It's Kim, isn't it? All this talk about my body and sexual functions was just leading up to wondering if I could stand meeting Kim again, right?"

"Dammit, Chip!" Ed exclaimed as he banged his desk, "I'm just not used to dealing with anyone so bright! You've got no fuckin' business wasting your life in here! Yes, it's Kim. She has asked to visit you. Is that okay?"

You were in my arms, right where you belong
We were so in love, it was almost like a song.

January through December, we had such a perfect year
Then the flame became a dying ember
All at once, you weren’t here

Now my broken heart... cries for you each night
And it’s almost like a song, but it’s much to sad to write

Chip's eyes went glassy as he stared straight ahead, the song again ringing in his mind. But what he saw wasn't his counselor and friend, nor the wall behind him. What he saw was a young boy and an even younger redheaded girl. They were both extremely handsome, in their own way, and each totally enthralled with the other. "You... uh..." he stammered, "you keep telling me how smart I am. You've said it so much you've got me believing it. But now I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm gonna do something I'll regret the rest of my life. I'm gonna beg you, kiss your butt if necessary, but yes, please have her come. It's gonna destroy me, but I have to see her again!"

"I don't think it will destroy you, Chip. I've met her, and as wonderful as you've said she is, you didn't do her justice. She is a truly lovely girl!"
"She's more than lovely," Chip corrected. "She's... well, if you've met her, you know."
"Yes, Chip, I know. But there are some things you don't know. I think you're gonna be very surprised. Kim has some things to tell you that I think..."
"What kinda things?" Chip demanded. "Is she... is she all right?"
"She's fine. But the last four years haven't been a picnic for her either. But I promised I'd let her tell you the whole story."

Try as he might, Chip could get no more from Ed. He wheedled and begged, demanded and threatened, but it was no use. All that Ed would say was that he thought Chip would be pleased at what Kim had to say. How could that be, if Kim had had a rough time of it? Suddenly the good news that Chip would not be transferred faded to oblivion. The program he was about to start that would see him finally released in a year, instead of seven, was unimportant. All that was important was that Chip was going to see Kim. Suddenly his small stature, his immature voice, his hairless arms and beardless face were Chip's enemies. Kim would by now be a very lovely girl of sixteen, almost seventeen, while Chip was still... a perpetual kid! He began to wonder how quickly the hormone therapy Ed was always trying to promote would turn him again into an adolescent. But it would undoubtedly take more than three days, which is all that Chip had.

By Saturday morning Chip was a wreck. Thursday night and Friday had been fine, because he had things to keep him busy; things like his regular Karate class, his computer maintenance duties at the State Corrections offices, and of course his studies. But Saturday was always a difficult time for Chip because he seldom had visitors, and there was no one he cared to use his two allotted phone calls on. Even Ed was nowhere around, which was not at all unusual for a Saturday.

Chip tried to make arrangements to go to Central Prison to practice some music, but there were no vehicles going that way. He offered to mow the grass around the prison, but it had just been mowed. There was absolutely nothing to do but join the other boys around the basketball nets. He had come to hate these nets. This was where he and others who had no visitors congregated on the weekends. Here they shot baskets nonchalantly while their hearts were breaking inside. But Chip's heart wasn't breaking today; it was telling him he'd made a big mistake! The last thing Chip needed right now was to see Kim, the one person in the world who still had the power to turn his life upside down. She was the one link to the past that could have ultimate power over Chip. And he had agreed to see her. Had he been absolutely crazy?

Lunch on Sunday was the slowest affair Chip had ever experienced in his life. The stupid fucking servers were so slow they appeared brain dead; the kids ahead of him in the line seemed more anxious to gab and socialize than to eat. Chip tried in vain to hide his impatience. He did manage to keep from losing his temper, but it took all the strength and self control he could muster. Didn't they realize that it was Sunday, and that no visiting would begin until the meal was finished and the cleanup was complete? Couldn't they all see that Chip was scrubbed to perfection, and that he'd put on his best prison brown’s and T-shirt? What the hell was the matter with these stupid farts, anyway?

When Chip was finally summoned to the front gate, his legs turned to rubber. He discovered that the weakness he'd felt after his two operations, one legal and one not, was back. He had to summon more strength than he knew he had to make his reluctant feet carry him toward the gate. When he finally got there, he was totally, absolutely, painfully unprepared for what he saw.

Kim was wearing a pretty cotton summer dress, not unlike the one she'd been wearing that Saturday morning so long ago when they'd first met. Her arms and neck, and much of her shoulders, were bare; the skirt, full and flowing, came just to her knees. Chip knew from its fullness that there was a petticoat underneath. Her legs were bare, flowing smoothly into a pair of white heel-less pumps. Her hair, just as it always was, was long and full, going halfway down her back. There was the familiar band on her head, setting off the beautiful hair the way Chip had always found spellbinding. It was as if time had stood still for four years.

He didn't even notice at first, so taken was he with the outrageous beauty of the creature coming toward him. But as they were finally face to face, about two feet apart, both their mouths dropped open in astonishment. Kim was slightly shorter than Chip! She was as young and lovely, and as immature, as Chip was!

There were no words spoken, none needed as the two young lovers, looking like two children, embraced and wept openly. "Chip," Kim whispered, "you... I... It's been so long!"
"A whole lifetime," Chip agreed. "I never thought I'd ever see you again. Jeez, it's good to see you!"

One of the rules in this place that was strictly enforced was that there should be no body contact other than handshakes, perhaps a rather neutral kiss that could better be described as a peck. One of the guards immediately noticed the two young lovers in a warm embrace and moved toward them. The price for breaking the rule would be immediate termination of the visit, after which Chip would be strip searched. “Leave ‘em,” a sergeant ordered when he saw what was about to happen.
“But they’re...” the young guard protested.
“They’re harmless,” the sergeant interrupted. “If it’ll make you feel better you can do the strip search after she’s left. I’m certain Stockdale won’t mind, and I’m also certain you won’t find anything.”

Chip had already chosen a corner of the yard where he and Kim could talk privately, warning the other inmates that they'd be in serious trouble if they intruded. In circumstances like this, it was assumed that there would be an attempt at sexual activity, so couples were seldom if ever given the privacy they desired. But with these two, the guards reasoned, there was little danger, little chance, really, that anything would happen. So the two weeping youngsters were left alone. The guards contented themselves with watching from a distance.

"I expected you to be a lot bigger," Kim observed when they were settled. "The way you were growing when... uh... last time I saw you."
"Yeah," Chip grinned sheepishly. "That sorta got cut off, along with some other things."
"Other things? What other things? Have you been sick, Chip?"
"Naw, I'm fine."
"Then what? How come you stopped growing, Chip?"

"I might ask the same of you, Kim. You aren't even as tall as I am."
"There's a very good reason, too. I'll tell you, but you have to promise to tell me your secret too."
"It's kinda personal."

Kim laughed that same hearty, tinkling laughter Chip had always loved. God, how he loved her! How he wanted her, not as a bed mate, but as a mate, a friend, perhaps someone to replace the sick bitch that was his sister. "Do you realize how silly that sounds, Chip?" she said with a wide grin.
"Silly?"
"Yeah, silly! All we've done and been through, since before we even knew what we were doing, and you have something that's 'kinda personal?'"
"I guess it is kinda silly, isn't it? Okay, I'll tell you. But you gotta promise not to laugh, or be grossed out."

"I could never laugh at you, Chip. And I certainly couldn't be grossed out."
"Don't be too sure. But go ahead. I'll tell you when you're through."

"When I went in to have the abortion, they took tissue samples. That's pretty standard procedure in hospitals whenever they do any kind of surgery. Anyway, they did some tests, and discovered I had ovarian cancer. That baby probably saved my life, Chip! Your baby had to die so I could live. I still feel terrible about it and would never have done it if it’d been my choice, but it didn’t die for nothing. For a long time I wished they hadn't found the cancer and just let me die, but eventually I've come to the point where I only look ahead. You can tear yourself apart looking back."
"I have to look back, Kim. I know we were awful young, but what we had, and what we did... it was just so special!"
"I know. I feel the same way. But what I mean is, there's no point tearing yourself apart with guilt.

"Anyway, that's when I stopped growing. After the surgery to remove the ovaries, they gave me chemotherapy to make sure they got all the cancer. It made me so sick, I refused to take any more drugs after it was over. Hormone replacement is not an option for cancer patients because they’re afraid it’ll bring the cancer back, but I could’ve let them use various experimental things to jump start my growth hormones, but I wouldn't. When my body started regressing, everyone was astonished. They've done tests, but it's a mystery to them all. They expected me to grow more slowly, but not THAT slowly. Finally I wouldn't let them use me as a laboratory rat any more. So here I am, fourteen forever! Now how about you?"

Chip looked at Kim a little more closely. She was unquestionably as beautiful as she’d ever been, but there was a maturity there now. Because of all that she’d been through, she was without question a woman, not a little girl. Her childhood had been terminated prematurely just as surely as Chip’s had, and now he was looking at a very pretty young lady, not a child.

"Same story," Chip said. "Well, almost anyway. I had a pretty good dose of that guilt you were talking about. Then I got involved with a guy in here..."
"Sexually?"
"Uh-huh. It's kinda expected."
"I know. Believe me there's very little I don't know about life in prison. You do what you have to do, right?"
"That's about it. But Stevie was a pretty nice guy. When he got out he started trying to take care of Janet and the baby. He was working three jobs and going to school, until he got himself shot in a holdup that he wasn’t even involved in. He was trying so hard to get on with his life, but Janet just kept demanding and milking him dry. He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"That's terrible! But I don't see..."
"There's more, a lot more. And I have to tell it all to make any of it sound right. After Stevie I took up with Andy. He was one of those fat kids, you know, that everyone picks on and makes fun of? Well, Andy turned out to be a really special person. But the stronger studs in here took exception to Andy and me spending so much time together. They got on him and bugged him so much he flipped and tried to go over the fence. He died right over there, still hanging halfway up the fence, with five bullets in him. He just kept climbing and they kept shooting. Well, I started thinking of all the trouble that had resulted from sex - sex with me!

"I had a pretty big penis, Kim, for a kid my age. In fact it was big for a grown man! All of a sudden I concluded that it was my penis that was causing all the trouble. If I could only find a way to be rid of my sexuality, I reasoned, things would even out. And so I had a friend who was good with a knife help me. I've been castrated, Kim! I don't have any testicles! My penis has shriveled up to almost nothing, and I'm totally incapable of having sex. And of course I'm sterile."

Kim sat and stared at Chip for five full minutes, the shock showing on her face. In her mind there were a thousand questions whizzing about, but she kept them all to herself. When she did finally speak, it was with a slight but definite grin breaking on her lips.

"Now it all makes sense," she exclaimed. "Now I can see everything! It's perfectly clear!"
"I'm so happy for you," Chip said, a little bitterly. "Because you've just confused things hopelessly for me."

"Look at us!" Kim said excitedly. "Just about back where we were when we first met! Only difference is, now we're incapable of what messed us up so badly the first time. It's as if it were some master design plan, Chip!"
"Master design?"

"Chip, when I went to Boston I was devastated. I was so depressed I didn’t even want to go through all that cancer therapy, I just wanted to die. But my mom told me if I loved you that much, that I owed it to you to make something of my life. So I did. I spent almost two years studying at home while I was taking all those drugs, and I worked my tail off. I found when I went back to school that I had passed all the other kids. I was two years ahead, Chip.

“When I graduated from High School, I felt absolutely compelled to come back here. Of course I knew, or at least hoped, that you'd be here somewhere, but it was more than that. I was like a lemming heading for home. My parents had a fit, but I didn't care. NC State was the only school I applied to, Chip, and I've been accepted! And then I find you here, doing very well, and also going to State even though you’re still in prison. And you're in the same boat I am, physically. Don't you see? There's just so many things have come together so that... Chip, do I sound like a lunatic?"
"Yes, Kim, you do. You sound so crazy you'd better keep all this to yourself. Dammit, Kim, what would you want of me, a jailbird? And besides, I'm in here, and will be for another year at least."
"All the better! That way we can see each other some, but we'll still have time to get things ready for when you get out."
"Things? What kinda things?"

"There's so much to tell," Kim said breathlessly. "I have some money, Chip. After we moved to Boston I was pretty down. I explained the whole thing to my grandfather, and he understood. He was the only one to believe that you and I could've been in love, not just two kids 'playing dirty.' He told me that he'd be leaving me his money, what there was, and that I was to track you down and resolve things one way or the other. He said that from what I'd said and the descriptions I'd given him, there was a very good chance we were truly in love. Grandpa died last winter, and sure enough, he left me all his money.

"There isn't a lot, as things like that go, but there’s more than even he realized. There is enough to follow his instructions. He said I should buy a house, then a new car for each of us, and spend the rest as far as it would go in college. That's why I came here, Chip! I've been talking with Ed for a while now, and I know a whole lot about how you've been doing. I know you graduated from high school, and I know you're planning to go to State. And Ed says you have never stopped talking about me. We've got a chance, Chip! We've got a real chance to build something really special!"

“They’d never go for it,” Chip said reflectively.
“They?” Kim said curiously. “They who?”
“The parole board. I’ve already had one hearing and they turned me down because I don’t have a place to go... you know, no home or anything...”
“But you do now,” Kim argued.
“Yeah, right, Kim. They’re gonna let me move in with one of my victims, an’ then live off your inheritance. Sure they are!”
“They would if we were married, Chip.”

Chip lay in his bunk staring at the ceiling, smoking cigarettes one after another. He was totally oblivious to the goings-on around him as his roommates played cards, chattered noisily about the visits they'd had, and generally wound down from a pretty great weekend. Several had asked Chip who the adorable little redhead was, to which Chip had replied as naturally as if he'd always done it, "My girlfriend." Two particularly thoughtless punks had laughed. "What the hell you gonna do with a girl friend?" one of them asked sarcastically.
"Love her," Chip had answered simply. "Love her to death!"

The kid's question had hit home nonetheless. What indeed would Chip do with a girlfriend? Or a wife? Or a lover? Had he gone off the deep end in the other direction? Was he going totally overboard with the "don't need sex to love" philosophy? How long could Chip hope to involve himself with Kim in a natural love relationship, as unnatural as they had both become? Chip didn't know, but he wanted to find out. He wanted more than anything in the world to demonstrate, to prove by his very actions, that Kim meant more, far more, to Chip than a female body to have his way with. But was it fair to her? And all that money! Was it fair to ask her to share it? Was Chip being selfish, trying to ruin an angel’s life yet again? Kim insisted that to share her inheritance, and her life, was precisely why it'd been left to her.

Kim had explained to Chip that her mother had softened instantly when she said she still had very definite feelings for him. She had even convinced her mother that perhaps they'd been a little too harsh, and that maybe Chip shouldn't have gone to jail for ten years. Her father, on the other hand, was quite another story. He was adamant that he wanted his daughter to stay away from the little pervert, now and in the future. Convinced that she wasn't going to change his mind, Kim used a different strategy on her father. She simply stated calmly but firmly that she'd been left enough money to set up housekeeping in Raleigh, and that's precisely what she intended to do. Yes, he could make it very hard on Chip until she was eighteen; but if he did that, he could just forget about having Kim as a daughter. He had finally agreed, reluctantly, that he would not interfere. It had been his own father who had left Kim her inheritance.

Chip had pointed out to her that he wouldn’t be much of a husband, at least in the sexual sense. “I can’t... er.... I can’t get it up any more, Kim,” he’d said. “On the rare occasion that I get an erection, it’s so painful I can hardly stand it.”
“Don’t matter,” she’d responded. “I got a feeling we could if we tried, but if we don’t try, don’t care, then I don’t see the problem. I think I can be content with you without sex. Besides, you can always take hormones if it’s important to you.”
“All that’s important is that you be happy,” he had answered. The words surprised him, but he knew he meant it. He knew he really did love Kim. The question was, if he really loved her, wouldn’t he do the right thing now and stay out of her life? Could he do that?

“Just think about it,” she had implored as they said their good-bye’s at the front gate. “We’ve got time to get things worked out, so please, just think about it.”

"I assume from that grin," Ed said the following Wednesday, "that you may have reconsidered your plans never to leave us?"
"You might say that," Chip blushed. "Is there any hope of my getting out sooner?"
"Probably," Ed answered. "But I wouldn't advise it. I have a pretty good idea what you and Kim are planning, and I know you well enough to know it's great! But the parole board might not be so excited. If you stay in a little longer you'll have had a year to consider and get to know each other again. After that no one will have a valid objection."
"Sounds like everything is pretty well cast in stone already."
"Not really. I have some pretty definite ideas, but they're only mine. There's a hearing next week where you and the board get to see each other. So here's what I suggest you propose.

"You'll continue your Karate lessons twice a week. You should thank the board and kiss their smug asses for allowing the lessons to continue.You'll still be escorted by a cop, and in chains. If you happen to... er... encounter someone you know there, well, we can't really prevent that, can we? You'll be enrolled in college, a full academic load. Most of the courses will be by correspondence, but there's one philosophy course you'll have to take in person. For that you'll be transported, but you'll be restricted to the building and floor where the class is held. You'll be wearing your ankle monitor, with reduced range while you're on campus. Again, kiss some butt at that hearing and tell them how grateful you are for the opportunity to go to school.

"Next spring you'll be expected to pass all your courses with at least a C. If you do that, and continue to do well in the Karate program, and also keep up your computer maintenance duties, you'll be paroled. There’ll just be no way they can refuse you, Chip. You'll still have to be monitored for a year or two because by then you'll be an adult; but I'll do what I can to maintain control. The main thing will be to keep your nose squeaky clean, because any infraction of the law can wind up with you in CP to finish your sentence. That sounds like a pretty heavy year coming up, Chip. How's it sound to you?"

"Piece of cake, Ed!" he answered excitedly. "With what I got waiting outside, it's a piece of cake! But I don’t know about college. I mean, I don’t wanna use Kim’s money because she doesn’t have enough for both of us. I know the State’s paying for my first term, but what’s the point? Soon as I get out I’ve got no money to finish. I was hoping to be a doctor, a pediatrician, and that’s at least eight years of college. I just don’t see how I can do that."

“That’s the other piece of good news I’ve got for you, Chip,” Ed said with a huge smile. “Your education costs are already covered. When Andy died and you agreed to see his parents, they were so impressed by whatever you said to them they signed Andy’s college trust fund over to you. They told me not to tell you until you were ready to start college, that they would be very happy to know that Andy would live on through you. You’ve got more than enough money in that trust fund to see you through school, Chip!”

“Andy?” Chip said, when he could say anything at all. “Andy’s college fund? But I... I can’t...”
“Of course you can, Chip! You can, and you should. I think if you want it, you’ve got surrogate parents now. I think the Whitcombe’s would be very pleased to hear from you once in a while. As for the fund, it’s already in your name. So you see, your initial reaction is right on. It’ll be a piece of cake!”

“But that’s their money!” Chip argued. “They saved that money for Andy.”
“I told them you’d say that,” Ed countered. “They said it stopped being their money when they put it in the trust fund. They said if he was nearly as good a friend as you say he was, they’re sure Andy would have shared it with you. It’s a done deal, Chip. The money is yours!”

Chip found that he was facing far more than a piece of cake. He had a parole hearing in two weeks, his first personal appearance, and he found the men on the board far from friendly. Ed had warned him to be on his very best behavior, and he'd said that wouldn't necessarily be easy because some of these guys could act pretty ignorant. "Sometimes I think they want to make you mad and lose it," he explained, "so it'll be easier to justify their attitude and keep you locked up."
"Don't worry," Chip assured him, "I can handle them. Are you gonna be there?"
"Not this time. I'm afraid you're on your own, Chip. But I'll get a recording of the interview, so if there's any problem we can deal with it before the next hearing."

Chip had never been so charming as he was in that hearing. Just as Ed had predicted, two of the members of the board tried particularly hard to piss him off and make him lose it, but Chip was ready for them, and in perfect control. He explained that he had a girl friend, that she was more than willing to wait another year, then admitted respectfully that he thought he needed another year in prison, despite how badly he wanted out to be with his girl. Not only had Chip impressed the board with his sincerity and honesty, they were also greatly amazed at how well he’d controlled his temper when their two asshole colleagues had utterly failed to piss him off. They granted Chip’s request to hold off on parole for a year, but they all made copious notes on their copies of his files, to remind them in a year what a good candidate for rehab this boy was.

The next year was, although certainly longer than the three that preceded it, a piece of cake for Chip and everyone who had to deal with him. He had never been considered a difficult prisoner, but now he was a model! No one in the entire prison system worked harder, cooperated more, ignored the goings-on around him more completely. And in the process, Chip managed to make more friends, and fewer enemies, than any of the other inmates.

Chip’s freshman year at State was a challenge, to say the least. Once again Ed had stuck his neck out big time and persuaded the powers that be to allow his young friend to scrap plans to study by correspondence and attend regular classes. There had been lots of objections; but, Ed had argued, Chip had an objective now; he had a goal, something to look forward to. Ed knew that spending time with Kim would be good for Chip, he said so in no uncertain terms, and he finally got his way with the proviso that if Chip screwed up just once, the entire plan would be off.

There had been lots of whispers and stares as the young man, looking more like a High School freshman than a college student went about the campus wearing his prison green’s, the little transmitter on his ankle very obvious to all who cared to look, his picture id pinned on his chest with the word FELON printed across it. But on the whole Chip found his fellow students much more mature than he’d expected. He even managed to make a few friends during the year, although none of them were really close. But after the initial reaction of shock and nervousness, Chip’s classmates had just accepted him, even admired him and his gaul, attending a university in a prison uniform.

Chip was encouraged, based again on recommendations from Ed, to spend as much time as possible with Kim. Public time that is. They didn’t dare ever be in a position where they were alone together, and they both understood the reasons. He was, after all, still a convicted sex offender, still serving time for his sins; and Kim was one of his victims, the prosecution’s star witness, the primary reason Chip had been convicted in the first place. Even though it was now common knowledge that Chip was a eunuch, no one was convinced that he’d been rehabilitated; so in spite of his relative freedom he was watched very closely.

Chip discovered several benefits he hadn’t considered from being a regular student, free to roam about the campus as he pleased from 7 AM till 6 PM. He found he could take electives that were simply not available in the correspondence program, and Chip had gravitated to music. Since the start of his first term, Chip had not had either the time nor the clearance to make his regular visits to Central Prison, and he had missed his jam sessions with his fellow cons. But he quickly learned that there were an abundance of State students who were, like him, aspiring musicians; there were also plenty of qualified musicians on the faculty who were more than willing to offer classes and labs for the young singers and instrumentalists. Before Chip even realized what was happening, he and a band they’d formed were in great demand on campus to sing at lunch time, evening concerts and dances.

Naturally Chip had to request special permission to stay later than his assigned return time of 6 PM, but there were now lots of guards and deputy sheriff’s who were more than willing to provide escort services. When his regular rides were tied up, Campus Security filled in and got him back to the prison after his performance. So Chip had every reason to believe that he had a bright future as a performer, and that plan added greatly to his incentive to get released as soon as he could.

Chip’s voice had done things that few who heard it had ever heard before. His speaking voice was now the soft baritone of a young teen whose voice had barely cracked and settled down somewhat. But his singing voice, normally that same soft baritone, had a range that defied description. He could raise the frequency to dizzying heights without going falsetto, then descend to moderate bass tones that most normal men found satisfying and pleasing. And it was all seemingly without any effort whatsoever. Chip could sing opera, moderate Rock, or Country with equal ease, and he enjoyed them all. All who heard him were convinced it was only a matter of time until Chip Stockdale’s voice would be heard on just about any radio station one cared to tune into. He enjoyed singing more than any of his numerous activities, but he didn’t let it get in the way of his grades, which were impeccable.

When Chip was finally paroled and released from prison, he was 19 years old. He had spent a little over four and a half years behind bars for the horrendous crimes he’d committed; or had he done such horrible things? But it didn’t really matter now, he was getting out and he had more mixed feelings about that than he ever would have dreamed the first day a tremulous 14-year-old first arrived at the youth facility that had been his home, his only home, for so long.

Chip wasn’t at all sure he wanted to leave the security of the chain link fence, the towers with armed guards, the security gate. Life inside that fence was, in many ways, surreal. It was one thing to spend the day on a college campus studying, attending classes, going about his business as a more or less normal college student; it was quite another to walk out through the front gate wearing civilian clothes, no transmitter band on his ankle, knowing he wouldn’t be coming back at sundown. Chip wasn’t at all sure he could make it in a world that had deemed him unworthy to be a part of it for the past four point something years.

But then there was Kim, the tiny but beautiful little girl who had stuck by him all this time, in spite of what he had allegedly done to her. Once they had reconnected a year or so ago, Kim had given her all for Chip. She had spent her entire inheritance, her dead grandfather’s legacy, making sure there was a stable home environment for him once he got out. She was waiting right now at the front gate; waiting to take him home to the house she had bought for the both of them. She wasn’t even of legal age yet, but her father had supported her, signed for her, paved the way legally for her efforts.

Within a month he would marry this angel. It was all arranged, all set up. It would be a simple ceremony in South Carolina, after which Chip and his new bride would travel in the new car Kim had bought to Savannah where they would spend a few days just getting to know each other again and doing whatever they saw as appropriate for newlyweds - eunuch newlyweds. Ed had spoken to him about that, but Chip would not be discouraged. “Are you sure it’s ok?” he asked with concern. “You know there’ll likely be no sex. Can you live with that, Chip?”
“I’m counting on it,” Chip said with determination. “I haven’t had sex since the night before Andy died, and that’s the way it’s gonna stay.”
“I don’t know,” Ed said doubtfully. “Balls or no balls you’re still a young man, and with all you’ve been through, all you two have shared, I don’t know if you can live a totally sexless life. And what about Kim? Does she know you’re impotent? Is she ready to commit to a lifetime without sex?”
“She’s got no hormones either,” Chip reminded him. “Believe me we’ve discussed it, and we’re both fine with it.” Then Chip refused to discuss the matter any further.

Ed thought of the tapes he’d confiscated from the therapy clinic. He still had them, still had the tape that had been made electronically to decode the subliminal messages that had been placed on the originals. He had already used those tapes twice: once to get Bruce French fired, and a second time to threaten Howard Manning should he try to raise a fuss. Howard had at first been in a total rage, saying he would not only have Ed’s job but also see him in prison himself for interfering; but Ed had quietly reminded his furious boss that his political friends might not be so quick to protect him if the news had ever leaked to the media. He had worried about what the entire incident had done to Chip, but after his castration his young friend seemed to have settled down and moved on. Still he kept the tapes. He saw no need to share the information with Chip; perhaps their message hadn’t been played enough to have the devastating effect Ed had feared.

Kim had bought a small house in a quiet subdivision, then bought enough furniture to make the place livable. She had brought dozens of pictures to campus of houses, inside and out, and they had chosen their home together over meals and between classes. She’d done the same with the furniture, and even offered to help Chip choose a car. “That can wait,” he said. “Remember I still have to take drivers ed and get my license. I’ve never driven, you know.”

To be continued...