A city boy is relocated to the rural area where his own father grew up for a good dose of "Peace and Quiet". There he meets his Uncles and cousins in a strange old house and discovers some disquieting secrets about life in an uptight morally conscious town.
A - H I - P Q - Z Newest Files
PEACE AND QUIET
I should have known something was up when my dad came home
early from work. Dad was a workaholic; he never came home early.
About the only time I ever saw him was on Sundays, and he slept
late then. I guess from what kind of money he was making, a few
hours of one afternoon wasn't too much to ask. He traded at the
Exchange, and I guess the pressure finally got to him. I knew
something was wrong when he came home on a Saturday morning only a
few hours after going in to his office. I asked him what was wrong
and he smiled at me and said, "I just liquidated and closed out.
We're worth about $3 million now and that should do us for life,
I'd hope. I'm done. Pack up your stuff, Sam, we're leaving the
city." Then he caught me up in a rough embrace and hugged me.
Then I really knew something had snapped.
We had lived in the city for as long as I could remember. Mom
had died when I was little, and it had always been just me and dad
and Helene, the nanny I had had for - well - a long time. I
remember I just stared at him when he put me down and asked, "Where
are we going, exactly ?"
"Home, for some peace and quiet - finally." he replied.
I just stood there. As far as my past 13 years, our high rise
apartment was home. Where was this 'home' of his ? My dad and I
didn't spend all that much time together, and I was totally lost.
He just roamed the apartment though, telling me how much I would
like it and how nice it would be to get away. At that point I
began to wonder if he'd been caught selling crack or something, but
when I thought about it more, I figured he had accomplished what he
wanted and maybe it was just a short vacation. I found out
otherwise, later, when I came down with my backpack loaded up. He
took one look at me and said, "NO, all of it. We're not coming
back."
"This is a permanent move ?" I asked. He nodded.
I just stood there.
"We're headed back to where I grew up, son. Rural Midwest,
sorta south, near the mountains. Peace and quiet. Now go get the
luggage and pack it ALL up. We're leaving tonight. What you don't
get, the movers will bring. GO !"
The freakiest part was he was smiling the whole time.
I went back upstairs and started going through my clothes.
Rural ? Midwest, sorta south ? I had no clue where he was talking
about, but I didn't like the sound of it. The first thing that ran
through my mind was the film "Deliverance" and I shivered. I told
myself it wouldn't be so bad. I also called myself a liar. I was
a city boy and had been for my whole 13 years of life. And what
about my friends ? My school ? My life ? Dad didn't seem to
care. "You'll adapt, " he assured me, "we all adapt."
I shivered again. He just looked at me and smiled. "The haircut
and the earrings might not quite fit though, we'll see."
So wherever we were going, I thought, didn't like boys with
pierced ears and buzz cuts ?
"I guess you'll put on some weight and start looking better
once we've been there a while, " he also said, sorta offhand.
Ok, I was thin and pale and short. Alright, to be blunt I
looked more like 9 or 10. I'll come right out and say it, I was a
shrimp of a kid with only one goal - grow. I'd adapt, huh ? But
dad was serious. We left that night. I walked out of that
building and the only life I'd ever known and haven't seen it
since. We went to the airport, got on a plane, and in what felt
like a few minutes, since I fell asleep, we were 'there.' It
wasn't good sleep though ... the crash, I mean landing, woke me up.
I kid you not, there were cows on the other side of the fence
by the runway. It was dark; I think they were cows. The only cow
I really was sure about usually came on a bun with a side of
fries. I also expected something like O'Hare or the other airports
I'd seen. There were little single engined planes parked
everywhere at this one and one vending machine. It served 12 oz.
cans of soda for 50 cents. It was also pretty much deserted. I
remember saying I couldn't wait for daylight. I was a city kid and
this place frightened me.
Dad was still smiling. "Home at last."
I shivered again as we headed for the front where he assured
me Uncle Harlan was picking us up. I had never met this man in my
life - I assumed he was one of the old guys in the photo album. I
wasn't wrong. He was OLD. I don't think I ever met anyone as old
as Uncle Harlan. He was a bit stooped, but he was tall. And
thin. His hair, which hadn't fallen out, was pure white and his
face wasn't as wrinkled as I thought it should be. He wasn't at
all like the old people I'd seen in the city.
"Good to see you again, Fred, " he greeted my dad.
We were introduced, he shook my hand - almost breaking it -
and helped us with the bags. He drove a truck. It was red. It
had huge tires. Dad had to help me up into it. It was like being
in something at a show or a magazine. I asked him if it was for
real. The old man smiled and started it. I jumped. They both
laughed at me.
"Boy really needs some peace and quiet, I think, " Uncle
Harlan said. Dad agreed.
The roads, if you want to call them that, were rough. By the
time we had only driven a few miles, I really had to pee from all
the shaking. They both laughed again as we stopped and Dad
suggested I pick a tree, any tree, it was dark ... I thought about
taking a leak in the park while they were laughing. This was rural
America - God only knew what was out there in the dark. Give me
muggers and winos any day ... I didn't want to do it. I made it as
far as the truck's back bumper and ran back. Again, the lift
in. "Kinda puny, ain't he ?" the old man asked. He never once
mentioned my strange appearance though.
"He'll fill out in time, " dad said.
"We'll see, " Uncle Harlan replied, and left it at that.
The ride there was awful. It took forever. Twisting winding
roads (or lack thereof) and in no time, in the dark, I was lost.
Even though the truck had enough auxiliary lights to bring down an
airplane, I had no clue where we were going. The sun was coming up
when we got there, finally, and I understood the term 'jet lag' at
last. I was exhausted, but I had never seen the sun come up
really. My idea of sunrise was seeing it coming over the towers on
the block over. This was different. It looked like the sky was on
fire behind a row of black points - where the mountains began, and
trees. I remember I stood there in awe just watching it. It was
mesmerizing. In fact, I must have gotten so into it I fell asleep
standing up, as I woke up in a huge bed somewhere inside a house
that proved to also be huge once I got up and started looking it
over. It had three above ground floors and a basement, which they
called a 'cellar'. I didn't stop to think how I'd gotten undressed
and into bed, I just assumed dad did it for me. For some reason,
that made me feel strange. I guess I wasn't used to affection. At
that point I began to think that I just might like it here. There
were also others living there in the mansion - as I called it -,
and quite a few locked doors.
The other residents turned out to be my Uncle Ray, my mom's
brother, and his three sons. I hadn't seen them before except for
the yearly pictures. They were very friendly and affectionate,
though, and I wasn't ready to be hugged and handled by them. I
guess it came with the territory. They looked at me strangely for
a moment, but it passed. My cousins were, I'd later find out, 16 -
12 - and 10, although Jimmy - 16 - looked a bit older. He was
tall, like Uncle Harlan was, but not like his dad Ray. Robby, the
middle boy, was about my size, slightly bigger. Hell anyone was
bigger than me, and Travis, the 10 year old, was my size. They all
had grown out buzz cuts that had just started to look shaggy, and
they were all so brown from being out in the sun that I felt out of
place even more. It was embarrassing. Travis was fascinated by my
earrings. "Don't see too many boys around here with holes punched
in the ears, " Uncle Ray informed me, "but that's no reason to
change I guess."
I was doing a lot of shivering it seemed.
At lunch, which I nearly missed from oversleeping, I found out
that my aunt, the boys' mom, had left Uncle Ray some years back for
a 'city guy.' Uncle Harlan had never been married. Of course my
first thought was 'probably gay.' Dad laughed and said he always
expected it really, but that Ray was lucky to have kept the four
sons they'd had. I found out that Denny, the oldest at 18, had
just gone off to the state college. I could only imagine what an
institute of higher learning that must be ... I guessed that
eventually he'd come home for some break. Certainly he wasn’t'
driving every day back and forth. Needless to say, the plate that
Uncle Harlan put in front of me had enough food on it to feed me
for the week. I didn't even put a dent in it.
"Eat, boy, or you'll be a scrawny little thing forever, " he
joked.
I smiled at him, a fake of course.
"We'll see, " I heard Uncle Ray say. I also heard Robby sigh
and Jimmy laugh.
The first day there was spent touring the house, well most of
the grounds. There were still a lot of locked doors on the first
floor and the basement, which I had had high hopes for, was a
rather boring laundry type room. The attic was an adventure
waiting to happen, looking like the inside of the antiques shoppe
on 4th and Cherry in the city. I was intrigued. Then we went
outside and I got the full scope of the house. It was a solid
brick fort. There must have been millions of dull red bricks in
the walls, and I had never seen the arched windows in rows like
they were, along with all the decorative woodwork all around the
vast porch and roofline. Robby called it 'Italianate style' and
that the house had been built in 1866, right after the War. I then
realized we were further south than I had thought, although the
family here said that "I" was the one with the accent. I was used
to big buildings, of course, but this house was a monster. It's
very shape was threatening and made me want to run. It was stupid,
I know, but it was almost like the house had a personality of its
own. It was threatening somehow, like it was just saying ' I've
got you now, Sam. ' I suddenly realized that I was afraid of that
big house and something inside it.
We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening exchanging life
stories, the half of theirs they didn't mention until much later.
It was so strange, all of us sitting on the rail of that vast porch
and just looking out over meadows and trees and so much green.
Finally I had to get down, telling my cousins that it was beginning
to hurt my nuts. I took a seat on a porch swing, which was
something else new for me. Robby sighed again and that sigh
somehow burnt itself into my brain, yet the three of them just
shifted position a bit and didn’t' get down.
We talked until evening, and the bugs came out with a
vengeance. This was also something new. We went inside to escape
that. I excused myself to use the bathroom, and had an odd thought
once I had shut the door. The seat was down. There weren't any
women in this house and I had yet to meet a man or boy who knew how
to lower a toilet seat. I recalled Helene being on my case about
that all the time. I intentionally left it up when I was done.
Supper was another feast, it seemed. For as much food as I
was seeing, I couldn't believe how thin everyone
was. "Metabolism, " Uncle Harlan said flatly. But I had never
seen my dad so happy, or so much in person for that matter. It was
just overwhelming. We ate, talked a bit - well the adults did. I
didn't get much of it, but assumed that kids were to be quiet at
the table and I was. Finally my dad looked at me and said, "You
have a Dr.'s appointment tomorrow, at 9am so get to bed early. The
lag might still make you want to sleep in and you need to be up and
ready."
"Why ? I'm not sick." I retorted.
"Smart mouth ?" Uncle Ray asked.
Dad shook his head. "I haven't spent nearly enough time with
him, Ray. Too busy making money. That's all going to change now
that we're finally here. We'll get time together and peace and
quiet."
I excused myself, shivering again, and Jimmy led me back to my
2nd floor room. It was easy to get lost in this mansion.
"Just go with it, don't be rude or nosey. " he told me, when I
started to undress to get into bed. Having been on numerous teams
and in many sports clubs, I was used to being naked around other
boys for changing, showering, etc. Jimmy obviously hadn't, as he
turned his back. "What ?" I asked.
"I didn't wanna be rude, " he replied.
I remember I laughed and thought he was silly. "I don't have
anything you don't, " I joked offhandedly.
He didn't reply immediately. He also didn't turn around until
he heard me pull the blankets up.
"You don't wear a nightshirt ?" he asked, obviously amazed.
I shook my near-shaven head at him. I was suddenly aware of
my hoop earrings swinging just a bit. Jimmy pointed to a long,
white shirt with a high collar and long sleeves draped over a chair
by the bed. "Oh, " I said, "Is that what that is ?"
"You sleep naked ?" he asked.
I just nodded, wondering where he was going with it. "Oh,
ok." was all he said, then "Goodnight. Hope you like it here."
"Jimmy, " I called as he was shutting the door. He
paused. "You know why I'm going to the Dr. ?"
He nodded. "Checkup, physical exam. We're all going this
week, Sam, different days."
That made me feel a bit better, but not much. I drifted off
to sleep trying to sort out the family tree here.
I remember I woke up with my usual short little hard on and
had to pee really bad. It was embarrassing to be 13 and look 9 or
10. The fact that my littlest cousin was as big as me didn't
help. I got up, pulled on some boxers, and headed across the hall
to the bathroom. I noticed the seat was down. I didn't think
about it much. I went, went back to my room, got dressed, and
headed down to the breakfast table. It was there I found the usual
cooking food/fest going on, but I also found out I wasn't going to
be allowed to eat. I had to go to the Dr. with an empty stomach.
I didn't think much of the idea, but one look from Uncles Ray and
Harlan silenced me. I had water as I watched them eat. Dad took
me into town, if you could call it a town, in Uncle's red truck.
In the daylight, it was pretty cool, all hopped up and powerful and
loud and the stereo kicked ass. I was impressed.
Actually town wasn't that bad. It was more like a small
suburb strip with some businesses along mainstreet. I figured I
could get used to it. We pulled up to the Doctors' office lot and
went in. We only waited a few seconds after checking in. There
was no one else there. "I had this appointment booked months ago,
Sam, " Dad told me, "You need checked over. Now they're going to
take a little blood, do a few tests - some of which you may not
like, but it's all needed. You know you aren't really uh ... " and
he let it hang.
"I'm a woos, Dad, " I replied.
He looked stunned. "NO, " he retorted emphatically, "You're
small. We need to know why."
A male nurse led us back to the exam room, where Dad left me.
He told me to strip, naked, and put on a flimsy exam gown. I did,
sat on the table, and waited. It was split down the back, and he
helped me tie it. I was a little bugged by it, but then he took my
pulse, BP, listened to me breath, all the usual stuff, chatted a
bit about previous doctors and then left. I didn't have much to
tell him, I never got sick. It wasn't long after that the doctor
came in, and the sight of him frightened me. This man was huge !
I later found as we talked he had been a local football star, etc.,
etc . . . but to me he looked like something out of a low-budget
horror movie. I expected the worst, and I got it.
After the usual run-through of medical history, records, etc.
and the go-over of vital signs, he came right out and told me that
we had some 'unpleasantries' to tend to. The first thing he did
was roll me over on my side on the exam table and part my gown to
take my temperature. Of course I knew you could do it that way,
but I'd never had it done before. It was more of a shock than
anything; he said it was the most accurate way. I didn't say
anything. The second was a blood test. Yea, I exaggerate but the
needle was about 2 feet long and he took at least 2 gallons of
blood. I almost passed out. He also wanted a hair sample, which
he only got about 1/8" of since I had just had a shave-down a few
days before leaving the city. At this point I was really beginning
to wonder until he went and got my dad and had him assure me
nothing was going on that shouldn't. He then checked me for
hernias, rolled my balls around in his fingers a few times,
squeezed them, which hurt one and not the other, and gave my prick
a good going over. I have to admit I didn't know how to feel about
it. No one had ever touched me there before - well, the hernia
part yes, the other stuff, no. Looking back I can say now that I
liked it, but didn't realize it then. Then he whispered something
to dad and they looked at me for a moment. I remember I
said, "What now ?"
The answer came in the form of going into the adjoining room
where I was put on another table, on my back, and I was X-rayed
enough times to be considered bacon, I think. Then we went across
the hall with the doc barking at someone to develop the films right
away and to check the chemicals, etc. No waiting, onsite lab ... I
was impressed with that. I wasn't impressed with the next phase
tho. Again, I got put up on a table, but this one had a rubber
coating and recessed edges and it was much lower to the floor. As
I got on, I was told to take the gown off. The room was also very
warm. Dad nodded, I did, and he left the room saying it was ok and
not to argue. His voice was suddenly stern and out of character.
I sat there naked as the doctor asked me if I had ever had a
good "cleanout". I shook my head. He picked up a blue bulb-
looking thing with a white nozzle on it and asked me if I knew what
it was. I didn’t'. I found out. He had it filled with what he
said was a very soapy warm water solution of salts, and that it was
called an enema. To be brief, the pipe part went up my ass and he
injected me with about a pint of something warm. It was a strange
feeling. Then he made me lay there and hold it until I told him in
no uncertain terms that I couldn't. I leaked a bit on his rubber
coated table and he let me up to use the bathroom. Of all the
times for the seat/lid to be up ... needless to say it did its job
on me.
When I was done, I came back to the table, and he told me we
weren't done. I just stared at him. "Sam, that was just the
preliminary. It cleaned out you lower rectum. We need to clean
out the rest. That's why you didn’t' get breakfast." He then
motioned to a red bag with a long white hose hanging from a
pole/hook. "It's the same warm soap mix, but 2 quarts of it. You
can take it slowly, but you have to hold it longer." I shook my
head. "I can't, " I almost cried.
"You can, I'll help." he said. He pushed me back down, then
paused. "You know, we do need a urine sample as well." He then
went to drawer, pulled out something that looked like fish tank air
line, dipped it in antiseptic and placed it in a tray of slimy
looking stuff. He then came over and began rubbing my genitals
down with betadyne. I knew what that was. What he was going to do
took me completely by surprise, worse than the first enema. "This
is a foley catheter, Sam. Do you know what it does ?" I didn't.
Again, I found out as he slid the tip of it into the end of my
prick and began to slowly push it in. "Just lay back and breath
normally, " he said, "It shouldn't hurt, just feel odd. Tell me
when it hits solid, ok ?" I was red by now and sweating. I nodded
and watched as the tube was pushed up into me. I felt it when it
stopped and yelled "OK !" He just held it there. I felt like I
had to pee really really bad and couldn't. "Just loosen up and try
to pee, " he said. I did. When I did, I felt the tube go further
in. I gasped. I could see pee running down the tube, yellow, into
a bottle to which it was connected to sitting on the floor. He
then took a syringe and pushed it into a short-side pipe and
injected something. At this point I was about to freak. What was
this guy doing to me and why ? My dad agreed to this ? I didn't
know the half of it.
"What I did, Sam, was inject some sterile water into the
catheter to fill the balloon tip at the end which is IN your
bladder. The balloon inflates so that the tube will stay IN you
and not slide out."
I didn't like it at all.
"Why ?" I asked, almost crying. It felt so weird and I was
scared after all.
"Because we need an uncontaminated urine specimen and we need
to have the idea of you having an accident out of the way, we have
more to do anyway. Just relax, the cath. won't hurt you, just
feels funny. I looked down at my small prick with the tube
sticking out of it and leading down to the slowly filling bottle.
I realized the tube was draining the pee out of me constantly, and
I had no control over it. I didn't like it. I really didn't like
the next step. The doc then turned his attention back to the red
bag. Again, a white pipe was put up my butt after he adjusted me
on the table onto my back and tilted slightly downhill. I was
looking 'up' at my midsection. Once more, looking back, I can say
now that I didn't really NOT like it, I just didn’t' know what I
was feeling then. I heard a click sound as he released the hose
clamp. I could feel the warm water filling me up, and the moved
the tube into my butt a bit further, slowly, and his gloved hand
held it there. The bag was about 1/4 empty, I was watching it
drain, when I cried out that I had to go, I couldn't take it. He
shut the flow off and rubbed my belly a bit, here and there. Soon
the urge passed and he let the flow begin again. To this day I
still recall that click sound.
By the time the bag was empty, I was nearly in tears. My
stomach was a bit bloated out, and I really had to go but he
wouldn't let me. He told me to hold it. It felt like forever and
my dad had to be brought in once again. He told me not to fight
it, it had to be done. When they finally let me up, and I was
done - or so I thought - they informed me that I had to keep having
it done with clear salt water until I was 'clean.' To make a long
story short, I didn't enjoy it.
The salt water enemas went like the first, and when the doctor
told me I was finally done I just collapsed in relief. I was tired
when it was over, but he finally told me I was done with that
part. He then told me I had one more thing, a shot, and I just
said, "Alright." I got it in the right cheek. It hurt like hell.
I woke up in my new home, in bed. I had no idea what time it
was. My window was shut, curtains and all. I was warm, but
comfortable. I felt like I had to pee really bad and pulled back
the blankets. I can only imagine what my face looked like when I
saw that I was naked, there was a hospital ID tag on my wrist, and
the catheter was STILL in me ! The tube came out of my prick, the
same tube with it's "fill/set" side pipe, and more tubing leading
down under my leg over the edge of the bed to an almost full bottle
anchored to the bed's leg. I scratched my nose, felt stuffy, and
felt something there. I got up carefully, walked over as close to
the mirror as my catheter would allow me to, and saw that there was
now a small tube going up my right nostril with a few inches of it
taped to my cheek, just under my eye. What the hell had they done
to me ? Was I really sick ? At this point I wanted to run, but of
course the damn catheter which was anchored in me prevented that.
I just stood there and stared at my slight frame in the mirror. I
was such a shrimp. There had to be something wrong with me, I knew
it. I thought one thing - CANCER ... then LEUKEMIA ... that's why
I'm not growing ... then the door opened !
Thankfully it was dad. He looked a bit stressed, like he
usually did. I was used to this look.
"How you feeling, Sam ?" he asked.
I just stood there facing him, in all my naked, helpless,
medically disastrous glory. I was hard again as well.
He came over to me, led me back to bed, tucked me in, and told
me to sleep. I told him I didn't feel like it really, and what had
they done to me ? More tests, he had said. Tests and tests. He
did tell me I had been asleep for about twelve hours and needed
about twelve more. He then took a large syringe and some powder
from a packet of some kind into the bathroom and filled the syringe
with water and the powder. He shook it vigorously, I remember, and
came over to me. At this point I was shaking and wanted to run. I
remember asking him, "Dad, am I going to die ? Is that why we came
here ?"
He said no, and attached the hollow end of the syringe to the
tube taped to my face. I could feel the warm liquid going up my
nose and down the back of my throat. I could feel it filling my
stomach as well. He pulled it off, remixed, and did it
again. "All this is is nutritional supplements, Sam, and some
medications you don't want to taste. And some tranquilizers. Go
to sleep now. You'll be fine, just fine. We'll know all about it
by tomorrow when the Doctor calls."
Whatever it was, it didn't act fast. Dad stayed and talked to
me for a while, said not to worry and that he was sorry that it had
to be done, routine first exam that they'd all had ... etc.
etc. ....
I really wasn't too receptive, but I think I fell asleep with
him holding my head in his arms.
When I finally woke up again, I decided to check my watch. It
had been almost 24 hours since the doctors office and I realized I
was hungry. I wiped at my eyes and felt that the tube was still
taped to my face. The catheter was still in me as well. I got up
carefully, but this time the tube coming out of me ended in a small
bag on the floor with some velcro strapping attached to it. There
was a small note that read, 'Sam - the bad goes on your leg. I
think you can figure it out. Dad.'
I did.
I then pulled on the nightshirt that I had not worn to bed
since my arrival in this strange house - since I wasn't too sure
about shorts and pants with the catheter still on me, and went
looking for some answers. The first person I ran into was Jimmy,
about halfway down the ornately carved staircase. He just looked
at me for a second then said, "Ouch, booster tube. Told you you
should eat more." So he knew. I told him what I thought of it and
asked where my dad was. He smiled at me and just said he didn’t'
know and that if I wasn't such a 'stick' I wouldn't have a feeding
tube stuck up my nose. I then asked him about the tube that was
stuck up my dick. His face turned bright red.
"Had one of those once, hated it ... " he answered
vaguely, "but they won't leave it in forever."
I could see I was getting nowhere fast, so I brushed past him
and went on downstairs. There was no one to be found. I just
stood there in the foyer, not knowing what to do. I felt a hand
touch my shoulder, and jumped with a yelp. It was Jimmy. "Where
is everybody ?" I asked.
He smiled. "It's a farm, city boy ... they're working -
outside in the sun. You know, building muscles, getting tan,
putting some meat on their bones ... "
"Doesn't seem to be doing YOU much good, " I accused.
"I'm in better shape than I was before, " he retorted, "and I
was sent in to check on YOU anyway. Guess you're ok. Since
you're up, help me put out lunch."
I watched him go towards the kitchen. Here I was, looking
like a chemo ward escapee and he was making lunch ? And MY DAD was
working on a farm, outside IN the sun ? Things were just too
weird. At this point I started telling myself that I must have had
a nervous breakdown or that I was having one hell of a nightmare.
I went into the kitchen anyway. I watched Jimmy for a bit as he
set the table. I was surprised how long his arms were, and how he
could reach into the high cabinets. He was thin, but he wasn’t' a
stick like me. There was some substance to him. I could only
imagine what kind of work he had been doing all his life while I
was growing up in the city. Somehow, cousins or not, I felt like
an alien. He must have sensed me watching him, because he turned
around in mid-stretch for some more drinking glasses and
said, "Well ? The fridge ? Sliced meat and cheese and bread ?" I
snapped out of my reverie and got the food. My own stomach was
grumbling.
"Shit, " Jimmy announced as he heard it.
"I'm just hungry, " I said.
"Yea I know. You were supposed to get a dose of weight gainer
mix up the nose about eight hours ago. Your stomach shouldn't be
rumbling. Your dad must have forgot, " he replied.
"Weight gainer ?"
"With other stuff mixed in. Well, I guess you can eat
normally to - usually you don't want to though. Here they come !"
he gestured, pointing to the window. I looked out. He was right.
Whatever they had been doing obviously involved a lot of
sweating and dirt. Then, for the first time, I noticed they were
all wearing the same thing : white T-shirts and khaki, loose
fitting short pants with short boots. They all looked the same.
It was unnerving, but then, what in this place wasn't ? They all
came in, washed up at the large sink on the back porch, and came
to the table like nothing was wrong. I was sitting there next to
Jimmy as Robby took a seat beside me. "Looks good, " Uncle Ray
said as they began passing things around. At that point, I spoke
up. Bluntly. And mainly at my dad. It got everyone's attention
as I called upon some of the more colorful parts of my inner city
vocabulary, but at least someone was listening.
"Now I don't wanna tell you how to raise your boy, Fred, "
Uncle Harlan said around a mouthful of ham and cheese, "But I think
he needs his mouth washed out with soap. That and some calming
down."
I saw my dad just staring at his plate. "He's been through a
lot, I'm sure it will pass."
They continued to eat and discuss the day's work ! Was I
suddenly invisible ?
Then, almost as an afterthought, and only after Travis pointed
it out, did dad say anything about MY appearance.
He took a drink of milk from one of the large glasses Jimmy
and I had set out and thought for a moment. "The doctor's office
called while you were asleep, son. Everything is normal, you fine -
just small. You need some more nutrition and exercise is all."
I didn't know what to say then. I felt the weight fall off my
shoulders, so to say, but I was still confused.
"Sit down and eat, " Uncle Ray said, "You'll feel better. You
can't do much now, but you will."
When we were all done, Jimmy mentioned my obviously dose to my
dad who took me upstairs and mixed up another huge shot of that
stuff he was shooting up my NG-tube as he called it. Since I had
eaten, my stomach felt like I'd swallowed a rock.
"Take a nap after I change your leg bag over to the floor bottle, "
he ordered me, uncharacteristally stern in voice. I went back to
the bed and laid down. He switched the tube over and covered me
up. "I'll get you up around dinner time, " he told me. He then
kissed my forehead - which was also something new, tucked me in and
left the room. I remember that Robby came in and woke me up,
pointing out my clothes which had been laid out for me on the
chair. When I saw it was a white T and khaki shorts with a pair of
ankle length socks, I shivered. I was doing a lot of that since
our arrival. I was just about to ask Robby about the freaky
clothing I hadn't noticed really until then when Travis stuck his
head in the door. "The movers just got done unloading your
stuff, " he piped.
FINALLY ! I thought, hoping my PC hadn't been damaged. I
asked my cousins to leave the room so I could dress and switch back
over to a leg bag, which was really beginning to annoy me. It was
uncomfortable and I felt like a freak. I got dressed, went
downstairs, and found everyone unloading the truck. Boxes and
boxes ... literally the remnants of my previous life. I recall now
that at that point I didn't realize the meaning of that phrase.
Everyone was working except for me. I was relegated to the
porch swing to watch. My cousins carried my stuff up to my room,
which itself - like the house - was huge - and asked if they could
help me unpack it. I just nodded. That was how we spent the rest
of the night after supper. When we were done, which didn't take
long really, I realized I had no phone jack in my room for the PC
and that my clothes were missing. Even the ones I had arrived in.
Something was not right. I looked at my identically dressed
cousins, thought about my uncles, the lack of women, the strange
treatment I was getting ... none of it made sense to me. I asked
them, but they weren't too informative. They just said that after
some peace and quiet and some fitting in I'd feel better and not
notice anything at all really. I remember I kept telling myself to
wake up.
That night, I asked dad about taking a shower. I hadn't one
the night we arrived, just the one before going to the doctor. Now
that I was getting back to normal period of being awake, I was a
bit unsure how to go about it. He just told me to do it normally.
Finally I had to ask. "When do I get this tube out of me, dad ?
And WHY do I even have it still ?"
His faced flushed a bit and he turned away from me. "Just
take your shower and get ready for bed, " he replied, going for the
stuff that he mixed to inject into my NG tube. "Dad, I want some
answers, NOW !"
It was the first time I had ever done that. I had yelled at
him. Always before, I just took the attention he could spare me
and went with it, gratefully. I had always known he was busy. He
had his work. He had to make money to pay for our life ... but
this move and what was happening were too much. I had to know. I
stared him in the eye as he injected the warm fluid into the NG
tube, making me feel stuffed again. At least I wasn't
being "cleaned out" anymore ... but it was small comfort. "Son, "
he finally said as he started strip me - which shocked me - "I
won't lie to you. You are going to have an operation sometime this
week. That's part of the reasons for the doctor visit and the
tubes. Your cousins, all but for Denny, have had it. So have your
uncles. And so have I, " he finished, attaching a small shut off
clamp to my catheter and discarding the bag in the trash
can. "When you're done, go to bed. Hook back up to the bottle and
don't forget to take the clip of the tube. I don't want you to get
kidney damage. Trust me, Sam, it's for your own good. It'll help
you adapt to life here and get you some peace and quiet."
There was that phrase again.
I did as I was told. I woke up in the morning to find out at
breakfast that there was no way to get a second phone installed for
my PC for at least two weeks. Uncle Ray also mentioned a slow
connection speed. To me, he sounded like he was reading a death
sentence ! I was going to be relegated to a few minutes at night
only and my speed was going to be 28.8 max ?
"Whatever that means, " Uncle Harlan said, uninterested.
"Internet, computers, the web, Uncle, " my dad replied.
I just thunked my head down on the table. Breakfast was over
and I was on dish duty.
"Well for God's sake, " the old man commented, "It ain't the
end of the world. Sounds like to me just like a bit of a slowdown
is all."
I was used to cable access in the city. I lived in front of
my PC in the city when I was home - for the brief times I was
there. Seemed I was always being on the run to this and that ... I
was beginning to miss it. 28.8 over a phone line to me sounded
like a death sentence and I informed them all of that. Suddenly I
thought about school - what was it like here ? This house was
strange enough and I had not even been to town yet ! I couldn't
imagine the school. No wonder my eldest cousin had gone off to
college. I started thinking about my clubs and activities while I
was clearing the table. Was there somewhere to hang out ? Sports
clubs ? Arcade ? What did one DO for fun here ? It was all so
strange I was afraid to ask to go into town even, much less ask
about school. Then dad got up and said it was time to head out for
the morning.
I was relieved that I wasn't being put down again for another
nap.
I watched them all file out, all but Robby, who lingered
behind. "Not going ?"
Robby shook his head. His sandy colored hair had just grown
out of a buzz to be long enough to lay over and it was still
uncombed from waking up. I thought he looked like a small haystack
and laughed suddenly. I hadn't done any of that since my arrival,
I realized. "I'm supposed to stay and talk to you, you know,
answer questions, " he offered. He sounded coached.
"You'll feel better soon, " he added.
"Why ?" I demanded, still wondering at my dad's announcements
the previous night, "and what's this 'operation' he said you've all
had but for Denny ?"
Robby flinched. His face got red. "I gotta go, hang on, " he
said, taking off in the direction of the bathroom. I heard him
say "dammit" when he went in, and I also heard the seat clink as it
went down. Yet he came back way too fast.
I had just finished rinsing a plate. I put in the strainer
and looked right at him. White T. Khakis, loose. Short boots.
Just like all of them, even dad. I just cut loose on him, and
looking back, am sorry that I did. "OK, why all the locked doors
in this huge house on the ground floor ? Why are there no women ?
Your mom left, Uncle Harlan stayed single ? All you all seem to do
is work here ! And I've been tortured and treated like I'm dying
of something and dad tells me I have to have some kind of
operation ? I want to know what it is, Robby. It's almost like a
cult of some kind, even the clothes ! I want to know what's going
on around here ! "
My middle cousin's face was flaming. My barrage hit him off
guard, and he didn't know where to start it seemed. "You're not in
the city anymore, Sam. Things are different around here. We
respect our parents and elders and we don't get too worked up over
stuff. We have values ... " and from there the boy launched into a
right-wing speech that sounded so 'Norman Rockwell' and American
that I was stunned in return. I had to be dreaming. That or I'd
died and gone to hell, one or the other.
The latter was seeming obvious when he finished, but he had evaded
most of my questions. "You'll understand when you're 'done', " he
concluded, "You may not like it at first, but you'll get used to
it. We all do."
"Who is 'we'," I asked.
"A LOT of the guys around here, " he replied.
"But not Denny ? Why's he special ? "
Robby turned his flaming face away from me. He sat down at
the table and put his head down. He obviously didn't want to say
what he had been told. "He's the first son, he has
responsibilities. The rest of us don't."
"I don't get it, " I answered.
"You will, " Robby promised me, "we all did. You know what ?
If you can do it, try hard, and stay awake tonight. I know that
stuff they shoot into you makes you sleepy and all but listen -
tonight, stay awake ! When you see a car pull up, sneak down the
stairs and go around the other side of the bottom where the first
door is. That's the one that leads into the half of the ground
floor you haven't seen. You'll see then, and whatever you do, BE
quiet and don't say I told !"
Something told me to take him at his word. There were tears
in his eyes, but they didn't fall. He helped me finish the dishes
and we went upstairs so I could show him my PC and stuff.
Lunchtime sneaked up on us, I guess, but I hadn't had my INTERNET
line put in yet and didn't have enough cord to reach the one phone
in the kitchen. I was really missing the city.
Shortly after lunch was cleaned up, there was knock at the
door. Robby came back in with another boy, and introduced him as
Chad, one of his friends. I looked out the window and saw his bike
parked by the porch steps. We spent the rest of the afternoon
exploring and talking, but I still didn't get any real answers.
Chad was Robby's size, but much darker. His hair, or lack thereof,
was black I assumed. It was buzzed down right to his scalp. He
didn't look totally white to me, but I'd seen all races and
varieties of people in the city so it didn't bother me. I didn't
mention it, but what did bother me was the fact that he was dressed
almost identically as everyone in my new household. The only
difference was that his T-shirt was pale blue. We walked all over
the huge place, watched everyone else doing this and that, various
chores that seemed to need done every day. I was amazed my dad
knew all this stuff. All the time I had thought all he knew was
brokering and money. Then I realized he'd grown up here. Finally,
though, I told them I had to go back to the house. All the walking
was beginning to irritate my "problem" as I referred to it. Robby
nodded and Chad just said, "yea I know, " and left it hanging in
the air. I didn't pursue it, just added it to my list of growing
questions left unasked. Lunch went off without a hitch, just more
mysterious chat. I learned that Chad was an only child, his dad
had taken off when he was very little, and that he was a year
younger than Robby and that they had been best friends since they
were little.
We all wound up back in the house playing video games on my
half crippled PC until Uncle Harlan showed up for his nightly
ritual of cooking a huge supper. The man had a talent, I had to
admit. He came up and looked in, said hello to Chad - stating that
he had seen his bike parked by the steps. He then did something
that almost knocked me out of my chair. He asked the darker
boy, "You all ready for tonight ?" Chad nodded, and Robby
coughed. I got that signal RIGHT off. I HAD to stay up. "Well,
everything's ready, room and all. We got the space here ya know."
And with that the old man left and in a bit we could hear him
assaulting kitchen utensils below.
"So you staying the night then ?" I asked Chad.
He nodded and looked at Robby, who shook his head.
We went back to the game, I recall, as a short attention span
does. It seemed like it wasn't long before Uncle Ray popped his
head in and asked Chad to come and go with him. I started putting
the pieces together somewhat when Chad didn't show up at the dinner
table and Uncle Ray was late coming. Nothing revealing was said,
other than another shocking ultra-conservative lecture which my dad
took part in. At that point I was really ready to run, but I HAD
to know what was going on. It involved that locked door, Chad, and
a lot of things no one was telling me.
I got my shower and headed back to my room. I got the stuff
out of my little supply of catheter needs that my dad had taught me
to use and fixed myself up for the night. As I was going to try
and stay up to see what the hell was going on, I stuffed a leg bag
under my pillow and hooked up to the night bottle. I didn't want
to get caught, and didn't know how long was safe to leave it just
clipped shut with no bladder drainage. I hated the catheter, and
begged my dad to take it out but he wouldn't yield. It was
uncomfortable and sorta hurt when I got hard, which was a lot
lately. I was laying there waiting on him for my nightly NG shot
of warm "mix". Our nightly routine seemed to be setting in ...
juiced up, tucked in, kissed, and told that I would be OK ... but
as soon as dad left, I was connecting my leg bag so I could be up
and mobile. When there were no more sounds from my room's floor,
which I shared with my dad, I slipped out the door and down the
stairs, slowly. My cousins all seemed to live on the third floor,
along with the Uncles. Each floor had six rooms to it, and dad I
had two each on the second. One was a bathroom, and the other was
locked all the time. I hid in the lower floor closet across from
the locked door that led to the other three rooms of the ground
floor and waited. I was getting groggy, but I fought it. I heard
a car pull up, lights off.
The adrenaline rush hit me then and my heart began to pound,
fighting against whatever was injected into my stomach along with
the weight-gainer and vitamins that usually knocked me out. The
front door opened softly, closed, someone came in. He rapped on
the locked door. I heard Uncle Harlan greet him softly, "Hello,
Doc. Chad's all ready for you, and Sam will be in a few days I
think. He's beginning to get curious, you know."
I heard the 'Doc' make a 'hmpf'ing' sound. This was the same
doctor that had done all this shit to me right after we had
arrived. I was going to find out what HE was doing HERE, one way
or another. I peeked out the cracked door. They went into the
mysterious door, into those unknown three rooms. The ground floor
was vestibule/entryway, kitchen, living room, and what - three
chambers of horrors ? I look back now and realize I had no
clue ... but I saw them go in. The door shut, but didn't lock. A
few minutes later, I heard steps. Someone was coming down the
stairs. The closet door opened, and there stood Robby in his white
nightshirt, barefoot, and wide-eyed. "After I go in, " he
whispered, as my heart restarted itself from the scare, "count to
thirty then sneak in. Don't shut the door, leave a crack. you'll
come to a T-shaped hall in there. Go left, and then peek around
the corner. Got it ?"
"Yes."
"Good, " he whispered, and was gone through the usually locked
door.
The drowsiness was gone. I was running on excitement. A host
of questions, I just KNEW, were about to be answered in that room.
I did as Robby had said. The hall was long, almost half the length
of the house, no doors and only the light at the end. I could see
there was no door, and the walls were white. There were bright
lights on in there, I could tell. I padded softly down that hall
in my socks. The floor was sorta slick, and I was glad I was not
barefoot so I couldn't squeak. But when I reached the doorway and
peeked around, my heart literally stopped for a moment. I could
hear the same things that the other adults had spoken of, only in
more detail. I could see the bright lights and equipment. It
looked like the minor surgery room where I had been worked on at
the doctor's office. They were talking about puberty, sex,
the 'wickedness therein' and urges. They were talking about the
need for 'peace and quiet' and the calming effect that so many in
this town had experienced. And there was Chad, naked, strapped
down to an exam type table which was Y-shaped. His legs were
spread, and he was strapped at the ankles, knees and hips, and
there was a wider strap across his waist. There were also
restraints at his wrists, upper arms, and his neck as well. His
near-shaved head was resting propped on a pillow, and he was tilted
up a bit. The table was up higher than usual, so that the doctor
would not have to bend over.
I dared not even breath; I just watched.
Chad was catheterized as I was, the tube leading out of his
prick and into a large bottle mounted to the side of the table near
the floor. The room was hot from all the lights, and Uncle Harlan
and the doctor were dressed in white surgical scrubs. There was an
NG tube like mine in his right nostril, and an IV in his left
wrist. He also had a gag of some kind in his mouth, with a hole in
the center so he could breath. His eyes were wide, as the obvious
drugs had not yet kicked in. I watched and listened as the doctor
picked up a needle from a large tray of strange tools and injected
his scrotum, once on each side. He then injected Chad's stiff but
short penis, and the area all around it. Chad was shaking in his
restraints. Then I saw Robby. He was standing behind Chad,
watching the doctor. Uncle Harlan was playing 'nurse' it seemed,
checking the tray and tools and Chad. Finally I heard him
say, "Robby, come around here where your friend can see you. Talk
to him. Try and calm him down some." I was shaking badly as Robby
complied.
I watched as my cousin stepped up and took hold of Chad's
right hand. The darker boy squeezed it tightly and stared up at
Robby. "You knew you were gonna be done, " Robby began, "we all
did ever since we were little. That's just it. You're not gonna
be the only one. I am, Uncle is, my dad is - a LOT of guys around
here are. You know about the urges you'd get if it's not done."
Chad nodded, his eyes beginning to glaze.
Robby went on. "You heal up in about a month. Trust me, you
won't really miss it. Well, not being able to pee standing up is
hard to get used to but you don't have nuts to get hit in and you
don't have hard-ons all the time. You won't ever have to shave,
you know. My dad always hated shaving until he got done when mom
left him. And the sins you're safe from. You don't even think of
that. Well, you might wonder, but you don’t' WANT to do it. AND
you don’t' have any kids by accident like you were." Robby then
paused. "I'm sorry, " he said, more to the adults than to Chad.
"You're doing fine, son, " the doctor said, checking his
watch, "It's almost time."
Chad was breathing slower, his eyes glazing, but he looked
like he wasn't going to go to sleep. I began to put it all
together, but the whole puzzle snapped abruptly into place when
Robby got a nod from Uncle Harlan and pulled off his nightshirt.
He stood there naked, with his rear to me. It was very white in
contrast to the rest of him. "This is how you look when you heal
up, " he said. Then, knowing I was there, he turned so I could
see. My heart stopped again.
Robby had NOTHING between his legs. No balls, no dick, no
stump, NOTHING. My cousin was a eunuch. I had read about it on
the INTERNET a few times and in history as well.
Then it all came crashing down on me.
They had done Robbie. Others in town. Uncles, even my own
DAD ! And now Chad.
I then realized I was next.
It explained the doctor's exam of me, the cleaning out, the
tests, what they had done to me when I was out, the NG tube, me
being an undernourished shrimp ... and the talks of sin and
corruption and sex ! Hell I already KNEW all that ! What the
hell had dad dropped us in ? Then I realized, he KNEW. That
vacation he had taken some years back and not taken me. He had
come HERE and been done ... home ... peace and quiet ...
calming ... he KNEW !
It also explained the toilet seats ... no one in the house
COULD pee standing up but ME !
I almost gave myself away. I slid down the wall and sat
there, trying not to breath. I heard the doctor tell Uncle
Harlan, "It's time. Betadyne ... "
My dad had set me up. Hell, my dad was a eunuch. All this
time I had no clue ...
My head was spinning. The stuff in the NG injection I had
been given was fighting hard with the adrenaline and fear. I
couldn't help but watch as the doctor rubbed Chad's genitals down
with the brown fluid, which was only a shade or two darker than the
soon-to-be-eunuch's skin. Robby just stood there, naked, and held
his friend's hand. Chad was seeing it, but I didn't find out until
later that he was fully conscious of it. He was only lightly
sedated. Uncle Harlan handed the doctor a scalpel.
Chad sighed, and so did Robby. "Here we go, " Robby
said, "he's gonna castrate you now, I mean, take your nuts out."
The words chilled me. Still I watched.
The doctor made a small slit in one side of Chad's scrotum and
inserted a hooked tool of some kind. In a few seconds he had the
boy's left nut exposed. He pulled down on it, tied off the cords,
and used what looked like a red hot scalpel with a cord coming from
it to cut the cords. I caught a faint whiff of scorching meat. He
did the same on Chad's right side, and deposited the extracted nuts
in a dish which Uncle Harlan took and set on the tray. The special
scalpel reduced bleeding, it seemed. Chad's eyes were wide.
Robby, still naked, stared on - obviously remembering when they had
done him. Then the doctor paused.
"You whack off, Chad ?"
Robby's head jerked around to stare at his helpless friend.
Chad muttered a muffled "mm-hmm," thru his gag.
All three of them shook their heads. I felt my bloated
stomach turning. Hell, I had tried it a few times. Playing with
my prick felt good, even if it was small. Hell, all of me was
small ...
"That's only going to make it harder on you, Chad. You've
been told about that and how bad it is for you since you were
little. You shouldn't have ever done it. Now you won't be ABLE to
do it, and I think you'll want to. For a time, at least.
Eventually you'll adapt. I've done many a man and boy in this
county and far and wide. Most of them are really happy and
relieved. Being an intact man is such a burden you know,
abstaining, carrying on the line only, all that stuff. Living with
the urges for pleasure without purpose ... "
At that point Chad began to cry. Robby wiped his tears with a
bit of paper towel.
"Next is the hard part, " Robby said to Chad, "He's going to
cut your penis off. Then he'll take the root out and close you up
and trim off the excess scrotum skin. Once you heal up, you'll
look just like me." Chad was shaking.
So was I as Robby turned a bit again to show me, hiding in the
shadows, his smooth and only lightly scarred crotch.
I thought about Denny, off at college. NOT a eunuch, but
how ? How with this crazed local mindset about evil and sin and
sex ? I had no clue. How did they maintain population ? A few
intact men, lots of kids, then cut it all off ? Only the first son
was allowed to be a man ? All I knew was that there were eunuchs,
nullo'd eunuchs as that one page called them on the INTERNET.
There were a lot of them. The clothing issue clicked in my mind.
It was like a uniform. An identifier. And all my old clothes were
gone now. They all wore the same thing ...
When I looked back, all eyes were watching as the doctor
sliced deeply around the base of Chad's penis. The scorching smell
was stronger, and finally, after a bit more lecturing and cutting,
the darker boy's stiffened penis slid off down the catheter. Uncle
Harlan pulled it on down, split it with a pair of scissors, and put
it in the dish with Chad's balls. He then handed the doctor a
bottle of clear fluid, and he rinsed the area. He then used the
betadyne again and the rinse. The old man then handed the doctor a
suturing setup, and in a few minutes, the doctor had moved the only
part of Chad's penis that remained - the part where the pee came
out of you and down and out your prick. It looked like a tube with
a tube inside it. He moved it down to where Chad's sac had once
been, and began sewing. In minutes, his practiced hands had the
wound closed. Where Chad's impending manhood had once been was a
neat row of small stitches and a tube sticking out much lower than
mine.
I realized it was so he could pee easier. Lowered toilet
seats ... I cringed. But how the hell could I get away ? Run ?
Unlikely. I didn't know where I was. The police ? Doubtful.
They had to know. Then I recalled seeing a cop in town when we had
gone to the doc's office. He had a boy with him in his car. They
had stopped and got out - the boy had been dressed like my
cousins ... it all fell into place so hard. My heart was
pounding. I slipped out of the hallway where I was hidden and back
up the stairs. I shut my door, shaking violently and locked it. I
got in bed and pulled the covers up over my head. I was
exhausted. There was a glass of water, I recalled on my night
stand. I went for it and drank it fast.
I had to think of a way out.