Panty Freaks - Part 5 - The Conclusion

Chapters 21 - 24 - The Conclusion

Chapter 21

Still sedated and full of pain killers, Larry fell asleep almost immediately after we placed him on the bed in the hotel room. Dr. Cazadero had advised us to let him sleep then give him a light dinner when he awoke this evening. Ritchie, on the other hand, had a ravenous appetite from his pre-operation fast.

Jessica, Renee, and Serena volunteered to bring some lunch back to the suite while Gayle, Ritchie, and I stayed with Larry. Ritchie’s local anesthetic had worn off and he said there was hardly any pain. The most discomfort he felt was from the big wad of gauze taped to his crotch.

We secured Larry’s Foley bag to the bed. A plastic urine tube ran from underneath his cotton diaper to the bag. Gayle placed her hand lovingly on Larry’s thigh while he snoozed, oblivious to her touch.

"He’ll be up and around in a couple of days," she said, "and he’ll be out of the catheter in less than a week. Fortunately, I’m here to help train his bladder."

"Train his bladder?" I asked.

Gayle looked at me and smiled warmly. "Sure, I have to do that all the time in my job as a physical therapist. Anytime you’ve been on a catheter for any length of time your bladder gets used to draining constantly and the muscles get lazy. If you just remove the catheter you’ll keep peeing in your pants. You have to retrain your bladder to pinch off the flow until you’re ready to pee."

"You see that many guys with penectomies in your job?"

"No," she giggled softly. "There are lots of reasons men have to be catheterized besides a penectomy. I only see two or three penectomies a year and those are usually partial or shallow penectomies. You know, it leaves a stump or a nub. Besides Ritchie’s, I’ve only seen two other full penectomies with the urethral reroute and all. They were both from industrial accidents."

"Now I guess Larry makes the fourth one, huh?"

Gayle smiled mischievously. "Well, I wasn’t counting the guys in our group that have had it done voluntarily. Several of the guys who play in Regina and Ralph’s dungeon have had full penectomies."

I looked at her, startled, with a questioning look on my face.

Our conversation was interrupted by Jessica and the girls returning with lunch. They also had obtained all the fixings for making margaritas and Jessica began putting the blender in the suite’s kitchenette to good use. This was the first time in my life that I had drank any significant quantity of alcohol and I became quite woozy and clumsy. The others seemed rather amused.

Leaving Ritchie to look after Larry, the rest of us left the suite and strolled around the courtyard after lunch. I noticed that most of the other guests were male. Many of them were paired off and acted like lovers. I assumed these guys were gay. I could tell from the way they acted that they were probably more than just buddies.

I noticed one guy with a cloth bag strapped to his leg. Although he looked young and athletic he walked slowly and cautiously. A male companion accompanied him. They were holding hands and walking close. Finally, I caught a glimpse the plastic tube running from inside his pants to the bag, confirming my suspicion that the bag was a Foley bag in a cloth case. I knew Larry would be walking around just like this in a couple of days and I felt a tinge of guilt as I realized the thought of Larry being dickless was making me hard.

We sauntered up to the edge of the large swimming pool and everyone was quiet. The water looked very inviting. There were only four other people in the pool - two male couples. The thing that brought most of the guests to this hotel sort of precluded swimming for most of them. Looking at the four young men frolicking in the water, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were taking their last swim for a while - before they underwent radical genital mods.

"You know," Serena exclaimed, suddenly, "we haven’t even been in the pool yet!"

"Yeah, but it wouldn’t be fair," Renee protested. "Ritchie and Larry can’t get wet."

"Oh, they’ll understand," Serena giggled lightheartedly. "C’mon, let’s go back and get into our suits!"

Back at the hotel room we donned our swimsuits and went in to check on Larry before heading out to the pool. Larry was just beginning to wake up and he was talking in low tones to Ritchie, who was diligently sitting by his bedside. Both boys smiled as we strolled into the room.

Jessica and the girls were all wearing bikinis and Serena and Renee’s suits had thong bottoms. It looked like a parade of swimsuit models in front of Larry’s bed. I wondered what thoughts must be running through Larry and Ritchie’s heads as they watched this parade of beauties strutting in front of them. I especially wondered about Larry who only hours earlier had been savoring and sharing the most intimate pleasures with these very girls. Savoring the pleasures and sensations with an organ he no longer possessed and could never feel again.

This thought made a cold tingle of fear run down my spine; it also began making me hard. I was glad I had had the forethought to put on a gaff underneath my boxer trunks. There would be no embarrassing boner this time.

Just as we were about to leave for the pool there was a knock on the door. Jessica answered it. I heard her conversing in Spanish with a young woman. Jessica escorted her back to the bedroom and I could see the girl was Consuela from the clinic. She was dressed in a very cute white outfit that looked like a short tennis dress. Although skimpy, the outfit was tasteful and seemed not at all out of place in the hot tropical climate. She was carrying a small black bag.

After we exchanged polite greetings in a mixture of English and Spanish phrases, Consuela explained that she was making follow-up rounds to check on Larry and Ritchie.

"You first, Ritchie," she said, motioning him toward an unoccupied bed across the room. She hesitated, looked at us, then turned back to Ritchie. "You are comfortable to take off your clothes in front of the others?"

Ritchie smiled. "Yeah, sure. I got nothing they haven’t see before - actually less now." He giggled.

"Then take off your shorts and I will change your dressing." Consuela’s tone was unemotional and professional. She snapped on a pair of latex gloves nonchalantly as though she had done this hundreds of times before.

Ritchie complied, taking off his shorts and lay on the bed naked except for a large square of gauze taped to his crotch. He was blushing bright pink and I knew it was because of Consuela’s presence, not ours.

Consuela deftly ripped off the gauze patch revealing Ritchie’s smooth crotch. A few small black stitches stood out against an innocuous little pink mound. The slit made by the scalpel was hardly noticeable. Consuela smiled as she applied disinfectant and changed the dressing.

"Very good, Ritchie. You are healing well. One, maybe two more days and you don’t need this. But no swimming! You must keep dry."

Finished with Ritchie, she turned toward Larry and snapped on a fresh pair of latex gloves. This time she also donned a disposable surgical mask.

Larry grinned bashfully as Consuela removed his diaper. I was standing just behind Larry near the head of his bed. I purposely wanted to avoid looking directly at his fresh operation as I knew this would make me nauseous. Consuela smiled beneath her mask as she scrutinized Larry’s dickless crotch.

"Larry, you are doing very well," she said, as she wiped his crotch with disinfectant. Lifting up his testicles she began carefully wiping around his newly-made orifice where the catheter tube was now located. The casual manner in which she had lifted Larry’s helpless balls made a tingle shoot through my own crotch. As Consuela bent forward her skimpy white dress rode up high enough that I could almost catch a glimpse of her panties, but not quite. Her expression was serious and intent.

My eyes kept darting between Consuela’s beautiful bronze legs, her sharp brown eyes, and Larry’s mesmerized expression. I knew what kind of effect Consuela’s beauty and practiced caring touch must be having on Larry. My mind was gripped with the reality that Larry had just given up his ability to ever consummate his fantasies. He couldn’t even jerk off - ever again. I felt my own member pulsing against my gaff.

"I didn’t know you would be making house calls," Larry stammered weakly, smiling.

"Yes, it is a little personal service we offer our clients for no extra charge." Her voice was contented with just a hint of mirth. I could see her smiling again beneath her surgical mask as she applied fresh dressing.

"It is a family business," she continued. "Dr. Cazadero is my father. I am a licensed nurse, but in a few months I will go to the medical school in Guadalajara to become a doctor. Maybe when you return to have your balls off I will do it for you." She gave Larry’s balls a gentle, but playful squeeze as she said it.

Larry smiled broadly, but I could also see tears welling up in his eyes. Replacing Larry’s diaper, Consuela removed the surgical mask to reveal her own smile. This time I caught just a flash of Consuela’s white panties as she bent forward and kissed Larry quickly, but tenderly, on the forehead. I also saw a look of jealousy shoot momentarily from Serena’s eyes.

With uncanny perception Consuela turned toward Serena. She smiled and in that unspoken girl-girl language assured her she had nothing to worry about.

"You are very fortunate to have such a boy," Consuela said. "He is a brave boy and I know he is loyal to his mistress."

Suddenly the girls were all making small talk with Consuela as she prepared to continue her rounds. The girls were planning to go shopping in town after their romp in the pool.

"I will finish with my rounds in two hours," Consuela said. "If you would like I will accompany you and show you the best places to shop. I know where there are many bargains!" Consuela giggled.

Thrilled with the idea of having a personal friend and guide, the girls agreed to meet Consuela in two hours. Realizing we weren’t used to the tropical sun, Consuela admonished us to use plenty of sun block before going outdoors in our swimsuits. We heeded her advice.

Jumping in the pool, I found it difficult to get used to the chlorine burning my eyes. I realized this was the first time I had ever been in a swimming pool in my life - ever! I wouldn’t have the girls know that for anything. I had learned to swim at church camp by the pier in that little lake. I had never swam anywhere else. They had hauled in sand and made a reasonably nice little beach, but the lake water was very murky compared to the pool. I also realized for the first time in my life I was swimming with girls! At church camp it was always strictly boys.

I remembered going to the municipal pool on my bicycle and just gazing through the fence at the mixed groups of kids my age having fun together. My parents had forbidden me to swim in mixed company. I remembered my main reason for going to the pool, however, had been to catch a glimpse of Celia in her swimsuit. That thought opened up old wounds and I tried to put it out of my head. I couldn’t help but notice how much Serena’s body reminded me of Celia’s - slightly full-figured and well-muscled, but so feminine. I remembered that day in the gym when Larry and I saw Celia and Darrell in the storeroom. I winced visibly.

My melancholy thoughts were suddenly interrupted by splashing and squealing as Serena and Renee both converged on me, playfully splashing, dunking, and wallowing me. Giggling, I reciprocated in the horseplay. Without even trying, my hands often found themselves inadvertently grabbing the exposed firm buttocks of their thong-clad bottoms. Soon Gayle and Jessica came over and joined in the frolic. I was in heaven!

Chapter 22

The next thing I knew we were all treading water, looking up at Consuela standing on the edge of the pool. She was still dressed in her short white skirt. From our vantage point in the pool beneath her we had an unobstructed view of her white nylon panties caressing her soft feminine crotch and firm buttocks. It was breathtaking! I blushed and Consuela looked at me and giggled. She knew what I was looking at and the effect it had on me. She found it amusing.

"Oh, I’m sorry!" Gayle exclaimed, looking at her watch. "Time got away from us!"

"It is okay," Conlsuela replied. "I am early, maybe. I can wait for you to change."

Back at the hotel room, I had planned to hang out with Larry and Ritchie while the women went shopping. However, they were both sound asleep and Consuela said it would be best to let them rest. Although I enjoyed the girls’ company I really didn’t want to go shopping with them. I think women instinctively know that guys don’t like to be dragged along on shopping trips. I figured I would just grab a good book and read while they were gone.

I couldn’t get the thought from the back of my mind that I was in an exotic romantic location with four beautiful women and I was the only one in our group with a dick! Hell, Ritchie didn’t even have his single testicle anymore. And there was his beautiful wife, Gayle, literally pulsing with youthful sensual exuberance - she was the picture of athletic femininity.

I was still a virgin, but I felt there was a good chance that wouldn’t last long. The very thought made me shudder with delight and lustful anticipation. I remembered the teasing and frustration administered by Jessica the night before, but that was all part of a naughty little game. Surely it was only a matter of time until one of the girls or perhaps Jessica would relent and end my virginity.

Drying off after stepping out of the shower, I took a fresh gaff from my suitcase and slipped it on. Wearing a gaff had become so common for me now that putting one on was just part of getting dressed. Dressing in lightweight pants and shirt, I slipped into a pair of sandals and walked into the living room. The girls were about to leave to go shopping.

"I’ll tell you what, Mikie," said Jessica, "why don’t you and I go for a walk on the beach while the girls shop?"

I was surprised, but eagerly agreed. Jessica had that same gleam in her eyes as the night before when she started playing naughty little sex games. I remembered the strange combination of ecstasy and anguish I felt when she teased and aroused me to the point of bursting and just left me hanging, begging, ungratified and unfulfilled. It was the most intense sexual feeling I had ever experienced - more intense than ejaculation. Not necessarily better, and certainly not more gratifying, but more intense. It was also seductively satisfying in its own way.

From the look on Jessica’s face I could tell she knew I would be back for more. She had my number; she knew it, and I knew it. She had me wrapped around her little finger. I was helpless. I was both scared and ecstatic. I also felt a throbbing between my legs that made me thankful I was wearing a gaff.

Leaving the hotel courtyard, Jessica and I strolled down to the beach which was less than half a block away. This strip of beach was used by several of the resort hotels in the area and was well patrolled. It would be safe there. We walked along arm-and-arm like lovers. I was a bit apprehensive when I considered that Jessica was a married woman, but I knew her husband, Samuel, was over a thousand miles away, preoccupied with other matters at the moment. Besides, I realized that Jessica probably wore the pants - or the leather Domme suit - in her family. Even if Samuel - Master Sargon - considered himself a Dom I knew instinctively that he didn’t control Jessica sexually. He might be a Dom to some of the little sub-bunnies that played in Ralph and Regina’s dungeon, but Jessica would do as she damned well pleased!

"You’re a virgin, aren’t you, Mikie?"

I was startled. "Well… ah basically, I guess, yes."

"Basically?" she was grinning devilishly.

"Well, I’ve never done it with a girl or anything."

"With boys then?"

"N… no, I didn’t mean it like that," I stammered.

"Then I’d say you qualify as a virgin."

"Yeah," I replied sheepishly.

Chuckling softly, she gave me a warm smile - a smile of approval rather than amusement.

"Mikie, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. It shows you take your sexuality seriously. You consider the quality of a relationship to have great value. Am I not right?"

"That sounds like something you would see in a psychology book," I replied.

Jessica laughed. "Mikie, dear, I am a psychologist - and I’ve coauthored three psychology books."

"Geez!" I exclaimed. "Is everybody in your group a psychologist?"

Jessica was still laughing. "I suppose you are referring to Ralph. Yes, Ralph and I are both psychologists. We met at a professional conference. That meeting was instrumental in bringing our little group together. If only the internet had been as popular in those days it would have saved us many years of searching.

"But getting back to what I was saying, Mikie. When you were in high school, had you wanted to lose your virginity badly enough, get laid as they call it, you would have found a way to do it. You could have cultivated friendships among groups that you knew engaged in premarital sex. Am I not right, Mikie?"

"Not unless I wanted to hang out with a bunch of creeps or jerks," I retorted.

"Exactly my point, Mikie. You don’t want to treat such an intimate act of sharing between two people like a dirty joke or something you’d do on a dare. It’s not a beer or a cigarette or something you’d want to do and maybe barf afterward. It is a sacred act of sharing and bonding between two individuals."

"You’re sounding a little like my preacher now," I chuckled.

Jessica laughed. "Mikie, just because I feel some religions are a little extreme and restrictive doesn’t mean I think they are completely wrong on every point. We can find truth in all paths if we’ll but look."

Topping a little rise of sandy ground that seemed to offer a measure of seclusion, Jessica spread the large beach towel on the sand. A small clump of palms offered shade from the hot afternoon sun. I sat down with Jessica behind me, my back resting against her breast, her legs outside mine. Reaching her hands beneath my shirt, Jessica began rubbing and massaging my back. I was becoming very relaxed - and turned on.

"You think about sex quite a bit don’t you, Mikie."

"All the time."

Jessica chuckled. "You are quite a normal boy for your age. It is to be expected. But try to remember, Mikie. Think back to the very first time you felt a sexual urge. The very first time that something made you feel kind of tingly and queasy inside. Something that was naughty and forbidden. Try to remember Mikie."

I thought and considered for a while. My first reaction, a conditioned impulse no doubt, was to give her a stock answer. Maybe I should tell her I was first influenced by a sexy screen actress or a super model - something acceptable. But I couldn’t do that with Jessica. She needed the truth, and I needed to hear her response to the truth. Jessica remained silent as she continued massaging my back and shoulders. Her practiced fingers traced out every muscle. It was very mesmerizing.

"Well, when I was a kid I used to help my mother and sister fold clothes from the dryer. And part of those clothes were… well, you know, panties. Whenever I touched them it made me feel kind of tingly and queasy inside, like you said. And somehow, I knew it was naughty."

"Tell me, Mikie, what do you think it was about panties that made you feel like that?" Jessica’s tone was very soothing and supportive as she continued massaging me.

"Well, they were soft and slick, but other nylon things, you know, jackets and stuff, didn’t make me feel that way. It must have been because I knew where girls wore those things, you know, that part of their body. All I knew about sex at that age was that boys had things between their legs and girls didn’t. I sort of knew that had something to do with making babies, but I wasn’t sure just how."

"And when did you first put on a pair of you sister’s panties?

"W… well, I ah… I didn’t say…"

"It’s okay, Mikie," she said soothingly. She was whispering now, her soft moist lips brushing my ear as she spoke. "You can tell me, Mikie. You need to talk about it; get it out. You want to talk about it don’t you, Mikie."

"Well, I was in fourth grade, late in the year, just before school let out. Me and this other boy had made a dare. We both wore panties under our clothes one day."

"Just that once?"

"No, we sort of did it on special days after that, all through school. It was like a naughty secret."

"You like wearing panties, don’t you Mikie? Hmmm?"

I hesitated and shuddered with apprehension. I could also feel my crotch becoming moist with precum.

"It’s okay, don’t be shy. You don’t really want to keep any secrets from me do you, Mikie?"

Letting out a long sigh, I felt my inhibitions drop.

"That’s a baby. Just relax, baby. Close your eyes, lean back against me, and feel my titties on against your back. You can trust me, Mikie, trust me completely. Ohooo, that’s a baby."

"Now lets talk about those panties, hmmm?" She giggled softly and flicked her moist tongue in my ear.

Jessica wanted to know all about me - my life history - especially in matters pertaining to sex. She wanted to know all about mine and Larry’s panty fetish - how it started. There was little I could tell her that she hadn’t already extracted from Larry. She already knew of my rigorous religious upbringing. I told her about my crush on Celia and how Larry and I had been forced to watch her having sex with the school jerk in the gymnasium storeroom. Jessica was sympathetic, kissing my eyes tenderly when they began to moisten.

A breeze rustled the palms, allowing streamers of sunlight to intermittently shine through on us. A young couple walked past, down on the beach, oblivious to our presence.

So the question remains, Mikie, ‘What is sex?’ What do you think?"

"It’s a need," I said. "Something that needs to be fulfilled."

"But what is fulfillment?’ Is it about ejaculation? Emptying your semen. If that were the case, Mikie, then whatever method would accomplish that quickly and efficiently with the minimum of fuss would be best. Don’t you agree?"

"I… I’m not sure what you mean."

"Did you enjoy yourself last night, Mikie?" I could ‘feel’ her inquisitive smile even though she was sitting behind me.

"Yes… yes, of course."

"But you didn’t ejaculate, did you?

"No."

When I left, did you masturbate?"

"N… no. I went to sleep." I was blushing.

Jessica chuckled softly. "Right now, Mikie, your desire is so fresh and exuberant. It lies at the very root of your passion for life itself. All of your hopes, expectations, and the fondest dreams that you dare to dream are all bound up in your perception of sexuality. Is that not true, Mikie?"

"Well, yes."

"Sexual fulfillment is the most beautiful and satisfying thought that can occupy your mind. It holds the promise of utter heaven on earth. When a boy becomes sexually aroused he has taken the first step toward experiencing a higher level of emotional ecstasy and mesmerizing sensuality. Unfortunately, his penis usually short circuits that process."

Jessica worked her fingers around to my chest, massaging my pecs and lightly teasing my nipples.

"As men mature and grow older sex becomes mundane. It loses much of its luster and mystique. Sex with their wives become familiar and routine. A man becomes more accustomed to the quick gratification offered by his member. Gradually, he forgets the promise of a higher emotional experience that sex once held for him. Oh, his little willie has done its job. It’s got his mind off his distraction, which was sex, and allowed him to get back to his ball game and his six-pack. He’d rather watch a football game than eat the panties off his wife - no matter how beautiful she is. That is sad, Mikie."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Sex is gradually reduced to nothing more than a biological function, Mikie. It is just like hunger or the need to defecate or urinate. A man has a semen buildup and he needs to dump it. Women become nothing more than receptacles for this need. A horny man seeks a woman for the same reason he looks for a roadside toilet when he needs to relieve himself."

"You make it sound really bad."

Jessica chuckled. "The real problem, Mikie, is that most men don’t really know what sex is. Oh, they think they know. They all think they’re experts, but they’re wrong. They go around trading their bogus information in locker rooms and stag bars and every time a man hears a new piece of bullshit or nonsense he thinks he’s discovered a new gem of wisdom. But in truth they are digressing ever further into the male deception. That gut feeling you had about sex when you were twelve years old is probably nearer the truth than the sage wisdom handed down by some middle-aged playboy in a magazine article. Men are vain and they are in love with their world of self-deception."

"Then what is sex?" I asked.

"What if I said sex is about relationships, intimacy, trust, dependability, companionship and lifestyle? What if sex is playing your fingers and tongue over soft, slick panties, stretched deliciously over a firm tummy and buttocks, and over an eager pulsating vulva, dripping with the precious secretions of desire? What if sex is spending hours on end just snuggling, cuddling, exploring your partner’s body and mind, and letting her explore yours? What if sex is living with the expectation that you will always be there for your partner - through thick and thin - and that she will always be there for you?"

"Sure, I believe sex is all those things," I said. Jessica was working her nimble fingers down my stomach close to the waistband of my trunks.

"If sex is all those things, Mikie, then what does a penis really have to do with it? Very little, I can tell you. In fact, Mikie, a penis is probably the greatest detriment to a good relationship a man and a woman can have."

I gasped audibly as I dared to speculate where Jessica’s conversation was leading.

"I know," she continued, "testosterone always gets the blame. Oh, testosterone is important, to be sure. I’m not downplaying that. Testosterone drives a man’s inner fire. But a penis is a physical thing - a tool. It provides a quick and easy release for an urge. It’s purpose is to make the urge go away, and it is all too effective in that function."

"You’re saying men can have better sex without a penis?"

"They can experience greater sexuality, Mikie. A penis provides an outlet for the tensions and urges brought on by testosterone. Without a penis testosterone can cause terrible frustration, but it can also force you to open up new dimensions of sensuality that have been residing in your subconscious as fleeting images. Forbidden fetishes perhaps, secret unspoken desires all waiting to be savored and explored."

I could feel pre-cum oozing from my turgid member inside my gaff.

"That throbbing piston that lives between men’s legs - and seems to have a mind of its own - is depriving them of a very special intimacy and pleasure. Once a man catches sight of the source of true intimacy and sexuality, he suddenly sees the world in a much different light. You know how it feels when you wear a gaff to bed for several days - not letting your self ejaculate or even become erect. What is it about that that you enjoy, Mikie?"

"Well, it… it just feels good I guess. But I can always come back… you know, I can take off the gaff and be normal again."

"That’s what so many men who enter our scene say," Jessica explained. "It feels so good to have their gratification frustrated, deferred, and controlled, but then they want to return to the mundane world and be regular men again. But sooner or later they realize the true source of their ecstasy and erotic bliss is in having the false gratification of ejaculation deferred or eliminated, not in returning to normal. Otherwise, why would they play in the scene at all. I think most role players on some level want to have their fantasies realized. It is a fantasy within a fantasy."

"Do all the men in your scene have… you know, penectomies?"

"Most," Jessica answered matter-of-factly. "Not all, but most do."

Even though I had asked the question I was surprised by her answer.

"My Samuel gave up his penis five years ago. You didn’t know that did you?"

"No," I mumbled with surprise.

"It’s okay. He’s open about it within our group, and I consider you part of our group now."

Her words were reassuring and gave me a sense of belonging.

"At first Sam’s emotions ran like a roller coaster. He would find his frustration blissfully fulfilling one day, then the next day he would sink into despair and weep pitifully. I was very concerned. We were beginning to have reservations as to whether he had done the right thing. Since then, I have learned that regret and chagrin is simply part of the transition process.

"It took Sam about a year to become comfortable with his modification. Once his mind accepted the fact that he could no longer gratify himself in his accustomed way he became very innovative and experimental. He became more perceptive of my emotions and women’s emotions in general. He learned to heighten his own pleasure by melding his own thoughts and emotions with ours. The only regrets he has now is that he didn’t have this modification done years earlier."

I couldn’t answer or respond. I was becoming weak as Jessica continued playing her mesmerizing fingers over my chest and abdomen.

"Ralph had already had his penectomy when he and Regina met," Jessica continued. "Oh yes, he’s open about it within the group too. Ralph had it done in a previous relationship. Sadly, his girlfriend was killed in an accident leaving poor Ralph alone and dickless. He was almost afraid to begin dating Regina because he feared what she might think of it. Luckily for both he and Regina, he didn’t let that deter him.

"You mean Regina was cool with it?"

Jessica pinched my nipples hard and cackled. "Cool with it? Regina was so turned on when he told her, she just about wet her pants! She had always fantasized about having a dickless man. It was a match made in heaven!"

"I suppose it’s great if that’s the lifestyle you want," I said, awkwardly.

Jessica put her arms around me in a firm hug then nuzzled her cheek against mine, giving an affectionate groan before kissing me on the side of my mouth. I could feel the warmth of her moist lips. There was passion in her breath.

"You know, Mikie," she whispered, "there’s still plenty of time for you. We’re going to be here two weeks."

"Time for me to what?"

"You know what," she cooed softly, with amusement in her voice. "Larry’s had his. Now it’s your turn."

"You mean… No, there’s no way…"

"Now Mikie, I know you’ve thought about it. You can call it karma or destiny, or whatever, but it is in you Mikie. You have heard the call and you have seen the truth, and it has been implanted in your soul. It has become part of your very essence. Now or sometime in the future you will answer the call."

I became so weak I almost went limp. My skin became clammy and broke out in goose bumps. Jessica continued to hold me firmly, her cheek next to mine.

"Mikie, you don’t ever want to lose the wonder and beauty of sex. That would be such a shame. But I don’t think you will. You’re different, Mikie. You have seen beyond the physical and have captured a glimpse of the true paradise that can be yours. It remains now only to see if you have the courage to pursue your destiny. I think you have, Mikie, and you won’t be alone. I believe in you and I will help you. Gayle will help you, Renee will help you, and Serena will help you. Larry and Ritche will help you too. You will be family, Mikie."

I began to babble and sputter. I think I meant it to be a protest to her proposition, but nothing intelligible would come out.

"You wouldn’t have to go for the full penectomy with the urethral reroute, like Larry did. Just a simple shallow pencetomy would probably be more to your liking. I can just sense things, Mikie. I think a shallow penectomy would be your style."

"Sha… shallow penectomy? What’s that?"

"That’s where that little offending member gets clipped off even with the surface. There’s still erectile tissue left beneath the surface, but it doesn’t protrude. There’s nothing there to make a tent in your panties. You get a secret little hard-on under the skin, but your crotch stays smooth and slick. Sitting on the commode, you’ll have to lean forward to pee, where Larry can sit upright. The trade-off is, you can still occasionally get off, especially if the girls take a vibrator to you. With a full penectomy like Larry’s, there’s a chance he’ll never get off again. You saw how much work it was for Ritchie."

I was stunned and my whole body was limp. I wanted what she was describing so badly, and yet I didn’t. I was terrified! I had never had such ambivalent feelings in my life. The thought of me being just slightly more functional than Larry, even though we would look similar externally, was erotically appealing. I even felt a little guilty, but in a fun, naughty sort of way.

"You know," Jessica continued, "when Larry and the girls go to the university this summer they’re going to rent a house and live there together. If you were safe, like Larry, you could live there too. Nicole and Tiffany will graduate from high school in a couple of years. Then they’ll be moving in too. You would just be one big happy family, wearing panties around the house; snuggling and sharing beds. Life could be like that Mikie."

I felt my resolve weakening. The part of me that was resisting, was losing to the part of me that wanted this. I thought of myself and Larry, living out our life-long fantasy of being two sissified boys in panties living in a house full of beautiful girls. The idea of having that little remnant of erectile tissue under the surface, giving me an invisible, but substantial sexual advantage over Larry was overwhelming. I thought of me and Larry in bed with the girls, our soft, helpless balls, contained in sheer nylon panties, rubbing against the girls’ velvety thighs and their own slick panties. I imagined listening to the girls’ teasing comments and giggles as Larry and I struggled and whimpered, begging for what we could never have. But sometimes, though rarely, I could get off. My crotch would explode in thick creamy goo, soaking my panties, and I would lay there in the rapture and debilitated bliss of a long-differed orgasm. But poor Larry could only whine and beg like a puppy as his soul was consumed by a desire that could never be consummated. Larry wasn’t my rival; he was my best friend, but until now, I never realized how much I was turned on by the thought of being slightly sexually superior to him!

Thoughts were ricocheting around in my head like pool balls on the break. I was trying to make sense of my feelings. I could just keep my penis and be a normal boy, and think about Larry never being able to consummate his lust. But somehow that was different. That would be copping out. I would be copping out on Larry and on my own dream. We should be partners in this; two sissified panty boys living harmlessly with beautiful girls. I couldn’t just abandon the dream and let Larry go on alone. However, it was the thought of having that little penis remnant beneath the surface that was driving my decision. It would be like having my own naughty little secret. I would still be a sissy boy, and Larry and I would both look the same in panties, but I would have that important little advantage. I felt some contractions in my groin and a little semen seeped out into my gaff.

"Wh… when would we do it?" I stammered. I couldn’t believe I was saying this. It was like I was listening to someone else talk.

"Well," replied Jessica, "when the girls come in from shopping I’ll talk to Consuela and see how soon she can work you in."

I felt dizzy. I was elated and terrified at the same time. The part of me that wanted this, the sissy boy, was ecstatic. But there was another personality inside me screaming and pleading, "No! No! You can’t do this!" That other personality wanted me to be a regular guy and a jock, not a sissified panty boy. But the sissy boy in me had won. I began to cry.

"Here, here," said Jessica, as she kissed away my tears. "I sympathize with what you’re going through, trust me. In all honesty, Mikie, there will be times when you have second thoughts, regrets, especially at first, but those thoughts are just part of the erotic tapestry of your life. They are like getting sore muscles from an enjoyable activity. It will hurt in a nice way.

"You chose what was in your soul, and ultimately that is the right decision. Had you chosen the other route, your regrets would have gnawed a hole in your heart and hollowed you out. Remember, Mikie, I will be there for you; so will Renee and Serena and Gayle. Ritchie and Larry will help you too. We are your family now, Mikie. We are all one big family."

Arising from our beach towel under the palms, Jessica and I began walking arm-and-arm back toward the hotel. The sun was low on the horizon and I feared we might not arrive at the hotel before the girls returned and Consuala had left for the night. Soon an open-topped Land Cruiser drove near, with two uniformed men inside. It was the beach security patrol. Jessica hailed them and began conversing with them in Spanish. They gave us a ride back to our hotel.

Chapter 23

We arrived at the hotel just in time. The girls had returned from shopping about a half-hour earlier and Consuela was about to leave. Ritchie was up, talking and joking with the girls. Larry was still in bed in the next room, but awake. Jessica pulled Consuela aside and spoke to her in low tones in Spanish. Consuela’s face lit up in a bright smile and her brown eyes sparkled as she cast a glance in my direction. I blushed, as I knew exactly what Jessica was telling her.

"Listen up everybody!" Jessica announced. "Mikie has some great news he would like to share with us."

I hadn’t expected this and I was embarrassed. I figured Jessica would tell everyone. But I guess she wanted me to make a public commitment in front of the group. I was nervous.

"Well, I’ve… I’ve been thinking… and talking to Jessica… and doing a lot of thinking. You know, for most of my life I wanted to… you know… do like Larry. You know… have that done."

All eyes were on me in anticipation. They knew what I was about to say. I just needed to say it. Well, all eyes were on me except Consuela’s. She had taken a cell phone from her purse and was in the back of the room talking to someone in Spanish. I knew she was making my arrangements.

"Larry and I started this together when we were in fourth grade," I continued. "The idea sort of grew and it’s been like a dream for us all these years. Well… so the thing is, I want to do this just a badly as Larry does and there’s no better time than now. You know, while we’re all here in Cancun I can still get it done. There’s still plenty of time"

"Plenty of time for what, Mike?" Gayle asked, teasingly. She was smiling from ear to ear and her gray eyes were wide with mock innocence.

"Well, I’ve decided to get… you know, a pe… penectomy."

Everyone started applauding and congratulating me. I felt like a minor celebrity!

"Hey man! What’s that I just heard?" Larry yelled from the other room.

Serena, Renee, and Gayle were all hugging me and received several kisses on my cheeks. There was such a commotion I didn’t know which kisses came from what girl. With the girls clinging to me affectionately, I dragged them along, making my way into Larry’s room.

Larry was grinning broadly, with an expression that seemed to say, "I knew you’d do it. I knew you’d come through!" I started to shake hands, but the gesture seemed awkward and distant. Instead, I threw out my arms and Larry reciprocated. We held each other in a long embrace. I knew Larry was crying because I could feel his tears on the side of my face. A shiver of fear ran down my spine momentarily, as I realized the gravity and irreversibility of the thing I was about to do. I wasn’t about to back out. Not now. This was a great moment in my life. What I was about to do would bring me into that wonderful warm family with Larry and the girls. I could feel my own tears mingling with Larry’s.

"Senor Mike?" I heard Consuela’s voice at the bedroom door. "Your time is tomorrow afternoon at two o’clock. My father says you must not eat breakfast; not even a glass of juice. It could be dangerous for the operation. Eat nothing after midnight tonight."

"Th… thank you, Consuela," I stammered awkwardly, turning around. "I’ll remember."

"Good. We will send a shuttle for you to come to the clinic."

Consuela finished saying her goodbyes then left for the night. I suddenly remembered I hadn’t eaten dinner.

"Say, I famished! I hope you guys haven’t eaten yet."

"No, we were waiting on you and Jessica, man," Larry said, swinging his legs around and sitting on the side of the bed. I was surprised to see Larry getting up to go with us.

"It’s okay, man. Conlsuela said I needed to get up and move around some. I’ll just have to strap my foley bag to my leg and wear it under my pants. They tell me you’ll see lots of guys around this hotel doing that." Larry grinned.

"Yeah," said Serena, "there’s a great little restaurant only about a half a block from the hotel. But just to be safe, Consuela had this sent over." Serena pointed to a wheelchair folded against the wall. "By the end of the week Larry will be walking all over the place, and next week we’ll pull the catheter."

"Yours too, Mike," Renee said, giggling. "Your only one day behind Larry."

That little tremor of fear shot down my spine again. Shaking myself, I purged the thought from my mind. With Serena pushing Larry in the wheelchair, we all headed out for a fun-filled evening.

When we returned to the hotel and I began preparing for bed, I started getting nervous. I wasn’t going to back out, but the full impact of what I had agreed to was beginning to soak in. I was just heading to the shower when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Say, lucky boy. You’re forgetting something, aren’t you?" It was Gayle.

"Forgetting something?" I had no idea what she was talking about. I suddenly became self-conscious of the fact that Gayle was taller and towering over me. I blushed.

"Yeah, this is your big night! You know, your own little party!"

I wasn’t ready to believe what I thought she was suggesting. I just stood there open-mouthed.

"You’re a virgin aren’t you, Mike.

I just nodded my head and blushed brighter red.

"Well you’re in luck, sweetie boy, because virgins are my specialty!"

I gasped with surprise and delight. Gayle led me to the showers where she insisted on stripping me herself. When she removed my gaff she commented on how wonderful it was that I would never be needing that again. That tingle of fear shot through me again, but I was too mesmerized by Gayle’s presence to allow it to linger.

Gayle lathered me up and insisted I do the same to her. I had a raging boner all during our shower and it seemed so awkward and in the way. I thought I was going to lose it a couple of times when my erect staff accidentally bumped Gayle’s leg. This made Gayle laugh. She placed her forefinger and thumb firmly around the base of my staff and squeezed hard, while proceeding to gently soap and wash my balls and crotch. I realized Gayle was an expert at bringing men to the edge, and not quite allowing them to ejaculate. It was frustrated bliss!

After we dried each other with towels, I instinctively reached for the clean gaff I had carried with me. Gayle laughed.

"I thought you were through with those," she said, smiling teasingly, "but if you insist, you can put it on for one last time."

I was feeling very self-conscious. I turned my back to Gayle as I slipped into my gaff. I was trying to think mundane thoughts to make my erection go down while I stretched the gaff over it. Soon, however, my penis surrendered to the steady pull of the heavy spandex, became turgid, and settled down unobtrusively in its place.

"That’s cute," Gayle commented, as she reached out and squeezed my spandex-covered package. Since you’ve made yourself harmless, I’ll let you rub me down with lotion. Come on!" Donning a robe, Gayle led me back to her bedroom.

Gayle switched off the harsh overhead light and the room was illuminated by a soft yellow glow from a small lamp on the night stand beside the bed.

"Here, this is my favorite," Gayle said, handing me a plastic tube of body lotion, then sprawling, naked, across the bed.

I was self conscious, still blushing, as I stared at Gayle’s beautiful nakedness in the dim glow of the small lamp. Momentarily forgetting my upcoming penectomy, I was suddenly overcome by the realization that I was in a bedroom with another man’s wife!

"Ah… what will Ritchie say?" I blurted.

"Don’t worry about Ritchie. He knows this is a tradition. He’s really a sweetheart about such things. Like I said, virgin boys are my specialty; Ritchie’s cool with it. Besides, when men lose their balls most traces of jealousy and possessiveness usually leave with them. They just want their wives or mistresses to be happy. Several guys in our group have been castrated and they even enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men."

The thought of Ritchie looking on helplessly while a real man had sex with Gayle caused a tingling throb to shoot through crotch. I felt pre-cum oozing from my constrained turgid member and I was once more thankful to be wearing my gaff. It had come to feel so natural to want to conceal or stifle my erections that it was like a mental reflex. I saw my erections as an antisocial anathema, like breaking wind or having a runny nose. It was always something to be hidden and never exposed to public scrutiny. In a way I was thinking of my upcoming penectomy as a cure for my embarrassing little problem. After my operation I would no longer have to use artificial means to restrain my erections. The offending organ would simply be gone.

Gayle instructed me as to the way she wanted to be rubbed down with her favorite lotion. Starting with her feet, I carefully massaged each toe and foot, dutifully working my way up to her sensuous calves. Gayle lay on her stomach as I oiled and massaged the backs of her solid shapely thighs and firm round buttocks. She squirmed and sighed with pleasure as I rubbed the creamy lotion into her satiny soft skin.

"I’m not going to give Ritchie hormone replacements for at least two years, maybe never," Gayle mumbled, reflectively, between soft sensual sighs and deep relaxed breaths. "I’m just going to let him coast and seek his natural level. I’ll give him calcium supplements for his bones, but that’s it. Castrated men are usually so calm and happy. I sort of envy them. They’re so much like big harmless pets."

As I rubbed lotion onto Gayle’s back and shoulders I let my crotch settle lightly against her buttocks. Even through the heavy spandex of my gaff, it felt heavenly. Still, I longed to pull off the gaff and let my tender, sensitive balls rub against her velvety skin.

As I finished with her back an shoulders, Gayle rolled over onto her back. Her large nipples were erect, pointed outward in either direction as they seemed to float on the surface of her soft gelatinous breasts. She smiled invitingly and I reflexively grabbed her breasts and began massaging them.

"I’ll bet you’ve never sucked a titty before, have you Mike, baby?"

"N… no." I mumbled, sheepishly.

"Well here, baby. Open your mouth!" she whispered sharply.

Smiling, Gayle pulled my head down to her breast and stuffed one of her big beautiful nipples into my mouth. Reflexively I closed my eyes and began to suckle. Running her fingers through my hair, Gayle sighed softly as she squirmed with pleasure. Presently she shifted my attentions to her other breast. After several wonderful moments, she finally pulled my head up and smiled warmly.

"You gotta finish rubbing me down, remember?" Handing me the lotion, Gayle giggled softly.

Rubbing the creamy lotion onto her soft breasts, I worked down to her tummy and midriff, stopping just at the edge of her golden brown bush. Gayle instructed me to commence again with her feet and work my way back up to her thighs. I complied. As I spread the lotion on her soft inner thighs she spread her legs wider, squirming and sighing. Her glistening pink slit beckoned invitingly, half hidden in soft brown hair.

"I’ll bet there’s something else you’ve never sucked on," she giggled, in a teasing voice.

I stared at her pulsing, dripping womanhood and my lower jaw began to quiver. "N… no," I stammered.

"Well here, baby," she said. Aggressively grabbing my ears, she pulled my face into her soft bush. Instinctively, I began flicking my tongue as I nuzzled the warm dampness of her womanhood, savoring the drooling honeydew oozing from her precious slit.

"That’s it, baby; work your tongue. That’s a baby; just like a little kitty cat lapping milk. That’s why they call it kitty licking!" Gayle giggled with delight and pulled my face even more firmly into her cunt. I began slurping feverishly, burying my nose inside her wetness and feeling her secretions trickle from my nasal passages into my throat as I inhaled. I extended my probing tongue as deeply as possible into her slick warm vagina. Releasing my ears, Gayle began running her fingers gently through my hair and pressing my face even more firmly into her crotch.

Suddenly, I began to emit little squeaks and whimpers. It sounded strangely distant to my ears, as though the sounds were coming from another entity altogether. I had never made such sounds in my life; had never heard such sounds; didn’t know I was capable of uttering such sounds. Indeed, my vocalizations didn’t sound human at all. I was like some pathetic helpless rodent, blissfully trapped inside Gayle’s pulsing oozing vulva. I wanted to drown in her sweet juices; die and be absorbed into her body; become part of Gayle. I had never felt such overpowering emotion!

Clasping her hands behind my head, Gayle arched her back and began to move her hips rhythmically. My helpless pawing hands felt the goose bumps forming on her creamy skin. Pulling my face into her crotch so firmly that I thought I would suffocate, Gayle began to moan and shudder. I continued squeaking and slurping frantically with my tongue.

Finally, Gayle began to relax, allowing her hips rest once more on the bed. Regaining her hold on my ears, she pulled my head up and I was looking into her broad satisfied smile. Although I was totally exhausted, I didn’t want to quit. Gayle giggled.

"Come up here!" she commanded in a loud whisper, dragging my face up to hers. She began kissing me with tender succulent kisses, licking her own juices from my lips and face. "You’re a natural, Mike, baby - and a squeaker too! I love squeakers! Oh Mike, you’re going to make such a wonderful little dickless panty boy!" We lay there for several minutes just kissing, cuddling, and snuggling.

Suddenly, Gayle’s big gray eyes widened with mischief and excitement. "Say, it’s my turn to do you," she said, grabbing the lotion tube. "Come on. On your belly, Mike, baby!" She began rubbing and massaging the lotion into my back and shoulders.

Rolling me onto my back, Gayle began rubbing down my front side. She suddenly got a pensive look on her face and stared across the room at nothing in particular, and continued rubbing lotion onto my chest, belly, and legs.

"You know Mike, baby; when I was a girl in high school; before I met Ritchie; before I decided to be a physical therapist; you know what I wanted to be?"

"No," I answered. "What?" I was very relaxed now. I just lay there admiring Gayle’s beauty as she hovered over me, rubbing and teasing me. I had become so accustomed to wearing the gaff when sexually aroused, my turgid condition seemed natural.

"A model," she answered. "I wanted to be a model."

"Um hmmm," I mumbled in mesmerized bliss.

"I actually did some modeling when I was a teenager," she continued. "I did some shoots for a company that sold gymnastics and dance costumes. Wanna see?" Gayle suddenly reached into the night stand drawer and pulled out a small catalog.

At first I was a little disappointed that she had interrupted my rubdown. We could look a pictures some other time!

"Remember these?" she asked, grinning impishly.

I focused on the page and after a couple of seconds I gasped with disbelief ! I recognized the catalog as the same one I had used for my masturbation fantasies that day in Larry’s bedroom - the first time I ever ejaculated. The cute blonde modeling the sexy little costumes had been Gayle!

Gayle giggled. "Larry saved the catalog. He told me you had used it for your first time. He told me all about it!"

I started to blush.

"See what you did," Gayle said, pointing to one of her pictures on the page. "You stained it. A drop of your boy juice hit me on the leg."

"I’m… I’m sorry," I babbled. "I couldn’t help…"

Gayle laughed. "You know, there was a thing going around when I was in high school - kind of like a superstition. They said if a boy was jerking off to a girl’s picture and accidentally got some of his cream on her picture, he would someday have sex with her for real."

"Yeah, I heard that too," I muttered, too bewildered to speak plainly.

"But it had to be completely by accident," she said, grinning. "No cheating! And if it was a boy’s first time to shoot off, it really, really would come true!"

As I stared at Gayle’s images in the catalog, it brought back fond memories of that magical afternoon in Larry’s bedroom. I was almost in shock. This was a dream that had come to life! I felt Gayle pulling down my gaff and slipping it off over my legs.

"Here," she said, snatching the catalog and tossing it back onto the night stand, "you don’t need this tonight. You’ve got me!" She giggled happily.

Gayle sat astride my legs and lightly grasped my erect shaft, touching it only with the tips of her fingers. It felt strange to be sexually aroused and not be wearing my gaff. I suddenly realized that Gayle was the first girl that had ever touched my penis. No one other than myself had touched it since Larry and I had those mutual masturbation sessions when we were just thirteen. I reflexively moved my hand toward my crotch without thinking, just a habit from years of masturbation.

Gayle giggled and brushed my hands away, admonishingly. "No, baby. Leave this to me. Put your hands over your head and just relax. That’s a baby."

I relaxed and complied, letting my fingers grip the iron grille of the headboard. Smiling broadly with enthusiasm, Gayle fondled my erect penis delicately. Her manner and expression reminded me of an antique dealer examining a priceless and fragile treasure. A bolt of fear shot up my spine as I realized this would be gone in less than twenty four hours. It was a fragile treasure indeed! I was helpless. The same thought that was so terrifying also held me bound in an erotic stupor. I could do nothing but give myself to Gayle. At this moment I belonged to her so completely!

As I lay there mesmerized, I felt the tickling sensation of Gayle’s soft brown pussy hair brushing against my sensitive, engorged member. She was smiling down on me with her soft teasing gray eyes, scrutinizing my reaction, savoring my total surrender to her.

Suddenly, I felt a pleasant warmth engulf my begging shaft. A delightfully wet slickness consumed my member, pulsing and squeezing my tender throbbing flesh. Gayle grasped my wrists, pinning me to the bed beneath her. Her face became a blur as she bent down and pressed my mouth against hers. Gayle’s tongue pushed past my lips and began exploring the inside of my mouth. I was caught completely off guard. The surprise of my mouth being penetrated by Gayle’s tongue made me feel very subdued. I could only gasp and press back weakly with my own tongue.

I had never before felt such a sensation of pleasant helplessness and overwhelming surrender. I felt contractions in my groin that were carrying me still deeper into this wonderful dream. I was becoming one with Gayle - being absorbed by her. The room seemed to sway as I lost my sense of equilibrium. I wanted nothing more than for this beautiful moment to last for all eternity.

I must have come close to losing consciousness, for I vaguely remember Gayle reaching over and switching off the small table lamp on the night stand. She had a towel in her hand and was gently wiping up the sweet mess in our crotches.

Just like the previous night, the outdoor lights filtered through the louvers, illuminating the room with a soft dusk-like moon glow. For some reason, the previous night, and Jessica’s teasing session, now seemed like weeks ago. So much had changed in a few hours.

In the dim light I could see Gayle lying beside me, cuddling, smiling, her big gray eyes wide with enthusiasm. Just like my first masturbation and ejaculation years ago, I realized I had suddenly been elevated to a new plane of sensuality. Gayle had just given me a whole new definition of pleasure and sensuality. I had just been overwhelmed with powerful feelings I had heretofore not suspected of existing. Gayle had just changed my concept of pleasure and gratification.

I don’t know why I wasn’t thinking of my upcoming penectomy at that moment, but it was far from my mind. I just remember staring into Gayle’s smiling gray eyes and thinking how completely she was in charge of the situation. I was helpless in her presence and somehow, that was very comforting and satisfying.

I began lightly running my hand over Gayle’s trim waist, over her firm hips and down her shapely thigh. She smiled and chuckled knowingly. Reaching into my crotch, she grappled me teasingly. My member quickly responded and was once more begging for release.

Continued in Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The next thing I knew, someone was pulling on my arm, dragging me out of bed. The sun was shining brightly through the window and I could tell it was late.

"Come on, sleepy head. Time to get you into the shower."

I was disoriented and embarrassed. I was expecting to wake up next to Gayle, but she was gone. It was Renee who was pulling me out of bed. I was completely naked and that seemed not to bother Renee one bit as she continued dragging me toward the showers.

Wh… what time is it?" I babbled. I was trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes with my free hand.

"About eleven o’clock," Renee answered. "Since you can’t eat breakfast or lunch, we thought it would be better to just let you sleep. The shuttle will be here around one."

Renee was wearing a very revealing one-piece red swimsuit with a thong back. I realized she had already been in the pool that morning. Her suit and hair were wet.

Dragging me into the shower, she adjusted the water and started soaping me up. I was still embarrassed by my nakedness.

"You know, I can do that, really," I protested.

Renee put her face close to mine and lowered her voice to a near whisper. "I know," she said. "But isn’t it really more fun if I help, even if you can do it? Hmmm?"

I began to laugh and Renee followed suit. "I thought so!" she laughed. "You’re going to have to loosen up, Mike. Maybe we just haven’t been putting enough fun into your life!"

Renee immediately began soaping up my crotch and my member responded accordingly. "Emmm! Nice one!" she exclaimed. "Mike? How many times did you do it last night?"

Her question caught me off guard and I blushed. "Oh, I don’t know. I think maybe five times."

"Five times? Really?" Renee’s green eyes were sparkling with devilment.

"Is that good?" I asked naively.

"You’re a real stud, Mike. Gayle says her record is six times. I’ll bet your balls are sore!"

Reaching up and adjusting the shower head to a heavy vibrating pulse, Renee aimed the stream into my crotch. The hard stream hit my tender balls, doubling me up and causing me to partially lose my erection. Renee giggled.

"Come on, we gotta get this soap off you." Renee put her foot in my ribs and pushed me down on the shower floor. Her voice was crisp and authoritarian. I was startled, but obedient.

"That’s it. On your back. Now spread your legs!" Renee turned the full force of the heavy pulsating stream onto my exposed crotch. Queasy testicle pain shot into my gut. Reflexively, I started to draw in my legs.

"No!" she barked. "Keep ‘em spread!" With that, she stepped firmly on one of my thighs and poked my other thigh with her free toe. "Wider!" she snapped. "That’s it."

I lay there helplessly as the throbbing pulse of water pounded my tender balls, shooting the queasy testicle pain through my body. I gasped and shook as I stared up at Renee’s shapely, powerful legs and fixated on the crotch of her thong-bottomed swimsuit. Soon, I quit interpreting the sensation in my crotch as pain, and drifted off into a queasy bliss. My feeling of submission and surrender to Renee was overwhelming!

A smile of satisfaction came over Renee’s face as she watched my bliss elevate into pure submissive euphoria. Presently she turned off the stream. "That’s a good boy," she said. "You liked that, didn’t you?"

"Oh yes," I babbled. "Oh yes, Renee, yes!" I was shaking like a leaf, too weak to stand. Renee helped me up, carefully. I had to rest my arm on her shoulders to stand. My erection was gone, my member barely turgid. Yet I felt a strong sense of sexual gratification. Renee was smiling, knowingly.

The tile shower was eerily quiet after Renee shut the water off. The only sound was from the residual drip of the draining shower head. Our whispers echoed hauntingly off the tile walls.

"Mike," she whispered, "I want to hold your hand through your operation this afternoon. Is that okay?" Renee was no longer the towering, cruel dominatrix, but once again a sweet caring girl. Her green eyes shown with affection.

"Of course, Renee," I said. I was still wiped out from taking the vibrating shower stream in the balls, still weak, still shaking, still holding onto Renee for support. "Oh please, Renee, do hold my hand!"

I had almost forgotten about my operation until now. A tear ran down my cheek and Renee kissed it. Then she kissed me tenderly on the lips and began lightly tickling my member which was suddenly finding new life in Renee’s hand.

"Mike," she whispered, seductively, "I’ll bet you could make it one more time. We’ve got almost two hours!" Renee giggled in a mischievous whisper.

I gasped with desire. In my weakened condition I felt a strong sense of gratitude. I pulled Renee to me, our lips met and we kissed, long and passionately.

We had been almost oblivious to the distant sound of a strange voice in the other end of the suite. But I could tell form the tone of the conversation it wasn’t just "us" anymore. Suddenly, Jessica burst into the shower room.

"Wind it up in here, kids," Jessica called. "We’ve got great news. The shuttle from the clinic is here and they can take Mikie as soon as he can get dressed."

I could see disappointment in Renee’s eyes. She looked at me sympathetically. "Well, I guess that just wasn’t to be, Mike, baby."

There was no time to dwell on my now aborted tryst with Renee. The shuttle driver was in the living room, waiting. I dressed quickly, and at Jessica’s insistence, didn’t wear my gaff.

Today, Gayle and Serena would be staying with Ritchie and Larry. Jessica and Renee would accompany me to the clinic. Renee emerged from her bedroom dressed much more conservatively. Looking like a typical tourist, she was wearing knee-length shorts, a loose-fitting blouse, straw hat, and sunglasses.

Just as had happened with Larry and Ritchie the day before, the receptionist looked at my passport and typed some information into a computer.

"Please be seated," she said, politely. "Rosa will escort you back to preparation, shortly."

I was nervous and breathing a little irregularly. I had a lump in my throat. Suddenly, it was Consuela, not Rosa, who appeared and instructed me to follow her into the back of the clinic. She led me into the same room where Larry’s operation had been performed the day before. Consuela was wearing a conservative white lab coat that came about four inches above her knees. She looked very professional.

"Because your surgery was not scheduled in advance, my father has already given Senora Rosa the rest of the day off. I will have to do your preparation. I hope you do not mind."

"N… no. Why should I mind?"

Smiling, her dark eyes sparkled mischievously and she cast me a knowing glance. "Good," she said. Take off your clothes and lay on the table."

Embarrassed to be stripping before Consuela, I undressed and sheepishly climbed onto the table, fully exposing my genitals.

"You are nervous," she said. "You should relax. I must shave you now."

Consuela took a pair of electric barber’s clippers and made short work of my bush, leaving me with nothing but short stubble. She quickly brushed up the hair and disposed of it in a trash bin. Next, she began covering my genitals with warm wet lather.

It was then that I noticed that the bottom two buttons of her lab coat had come unbuttoned. I didn’t notice her intentionally unbuttoning them and I wondered if this had simply happened by accident. With the two bottom buttons open, she flashed her beautiful bronze thighs at me with her every step. She couldn’t possibly be wearing anything beneath her coat, except perhaps panties. I couldn’t quite see her crotch, however. It was almost as though the garment had been designed to produce this effect.

The sensation of Consuela’s delicate hand rubbing hot lather onto my crotch had given me a raging boner. I was very self-conscious, but Consuela went about her duty deftly and professionally. This made me wonder again if she really knew the bottom of her lab coat was unbuttoned. I couldn't keep my eyes off her thighs!

Consuela proceed to shave me with a plastic disposable razor. With her other hand, she would casually move my engorged penis to one side and then the other when it got in her way. In a way, the professional indifference with which she handled my penis felt more erotic than deliberate teasing. This organ, the focus of my sexual pleasure and desire, was throbbing and begging for release, yet Consuela treated it with such casual disregard, like it was all in a day’s work.

I once again remembered the real reason I was here and a cold chill ran up my spine. At the same time I was overwhelmed with that sense of erotic submission. As terrifying as these moments of realization were, backing out was never an option. The sissified panty boy had won out over the old traditional me. This is what I really wanted!

Consuela continued shaving me all the way to my navel and almost to my knees (actually consuming three disposable razors in the whole process). Once I was slick, she began wiping me down with hot wet washcloths. A large quantity of precum was drooling from my penis and Consuela wiped it up - paying direct attention to my penis for the first time.

"You have become excited," she said, matter-of-factly. "Do not worry. It is common. Actually it is better. It makes good lubrication for the catheter."

I was blushing. My eyes had been fixed on her beautiful flashing thighs. I wondered if she had noticed.

After snapping on a pair of latex gloves, Consuela began swabbing the base of my penis with disinfectant. Next she took a syringe and filled it with a measured amount of liquid from a small vial.

"This will sting a little bit," she said, smiling at me sympathetically.

Yes, it did sting. But in my excited state, it actually felt erotic. I thought I was actually going to lose my load when she pricked me with that needle. If I hadn’t spent myself so thoroughly the night before, I’m sure I would have ejaculated at that moment. Consuela injected me in four different locations near the base of my penis. Although I felt on the verge of orgasm, I noticed my erection was shrinking.

"The anesthetic does that," Consuela said, still smiling sympathetically. "It makes the excitement go away."

My erection was certainly dying, but my mental excitement hadn’t subsided one bit! I wanted to explode!

"It is time to use this," Consuela said, picking up the catheter. Grabbing my glans, she began inserting the big plastic tube into my opening. Precum was now running profusely from my rapidly deflating organ. "See, I told you it would make good lubrication. You must relax now to let it go in." The catheter was as large as a pencil. I wondered why it had to be so big.

As Consuela concentrated on inserting the catheter, she propped one of her legs up on a railing beneath the table. Her lab coat flared back exposing her crotch and white panties. My guess had been correct. She was wearing nothing but panties beneath her lab coat!

The sight of her beautiful legs and panties made me gasp. At the same time I felt the catheter slipping further into my penis. I relaxed completely in mesmerized submission. A satisfied smile came across Consuela’s face.

"That a boy. That a boy," she said. "Deeper now, deeper. Is bueno, bueno!"

My entranced eyes darted between Consuela’s smile and sparkling eyes and the beautiful display of her bronze legs against her white panties. I thought I detected a note of playful sadism in her expression as she slid the plastic tube ever deeper into me. I felt impaled and violated, but the feeling was wonderful! Consuela had me in complete submission.

With the fat plastic tube deep inside my bladder, Consuela removed her leg from the table rail, depriving me of my view of her panties. I whimpered softly. Consuela simply smiled and began pumping the little balloon that would hold the catheter in place.

"I have you now," she said, smiling warmly with great satisfaction, almost laughing. "You will not get away." Even with the anesthetic taking effect, I could feel the pressure of the expanding balloon in my violated bladder.

"It is time to call the others," she said, stepping out of the room.

Soon Consuela returned with her father, Dr. Cazadero. Jessica and Renee followed him into the room. I immediately noticed that the two bottom buttons of Consuela’s lab coat were buttoned once more, and she had assumed a more crisp, professional demeanor.

I was embarrassed for Jessica and Renee to see me laying naked on the table like that. My wiener looked like a small blind mouse, helplessly choking on a huge straw.

Dr. Cazadero had his clipboard in hand and asked me the same round of questions he had asked Larry the day before. I answered them, nervously, then signed the form.

"Your operation will be simpler than your friend’s," he said, "since we will only remove your penis at the base. It will be much easier to train your bladder once the catheter is removed."

I told them I was squeamish and didn’t want to see my own operation so they placed a small screen in front of my face to obscure my view. Renee held my hand and wiped my forehead with a damp cloth during the operation. I felt nothing. I was actually surprised at how quickly it went. It was much faster than Larry’s. The next thing I knew, they removed the little screen and all I could see was white gauze taped to my crotch with the catheter tube running out.

Consuela was holding a small stainless steel tray and when I looked at her she held it above my line of sight and started out of the room. I knew the tray probably contained my severed penis. It was a strange feeling, suddenly realizing it was gone. I suddenly had a deep feeling of regret. I wondered how I could have done such a thing! Maybe it would just be a dream and I would soon wake up.

Before I had time to dwell on it, Jessica and Renee gave me hugs and kisses and told me I was officially a member of the family now. Dr. Cazadero read off the list of do’s and don’ts; no sports, no swimming, etc. until I had sufficiently healed. After about thirty minutes, they loaded me back onto the shuttle and we returned to the hotel.

Back at the hotel, I was greeted with more hugs from every one, and kisses from Gayle and Serena. They had set up another twin bed in the same room where Larry was sleeping so we could be together. I noticed Larry was up and around with his catheter bag strapped to his leg. Being sedated and tired from my ordeal, I fell asleep as soon as I got situated in my new bed. They woke me up around six and fed me a light meal, then I returned to bed. I was pretty much in a daze until the next afternoon when Consuela came around to change my dressing.

Within a week they pulled mine and Larry’s catheters and Gayle started training our bladders. We had to do little exercises called "keggles" to condition our groin muscles. Gayle said Larry would have to do them the rest of his life, just a Ritchie did, to maintain continence. Because of my shallow penectomy, I wouldn’t have that problem.

Ritchie recovered from his minor surgery within a week and was frolicking in the pool and in the sea with the girls. Unfortunately, Dr. Cazadero advised me and Larry to avoid swimming for at least a month, well beyond the time we would be in Cancun. Larry and I had to entertain ourselves such mild sports as miniature golf and shuffleboard.

After they pulled our catheters, Larry and I both had to start wearing disposable diapers while our bladders were being trained. I was able to switch back to cotton underwear within five days, but poor Larry was still in diapers when we boarded the plane to return home. It took Larry another two months before he regained full continence.

We rented that house just like we had planned and I’m attending the university now. It was just like Jessica said, the girls can get me off with a vibrator if the they want me to cum. It takes them about an hour, unless they’re in a playful mood. Then it takes the three of four hours! They allow me release about once a month.

Poor Larry can’t cum, and believe me, the girls have tried! He can’t stand the frustration. He cries quite a bit. I doubt if Larry will ever cum again. They say he’ll get used to it and settle down, but I look for him to opt for castration the next time we’re in Cancun.

Otherwise, our lives as sissified panty boys is much like we imagined. Tiffany and Nicole come up and spend the weekend about once a month and they’re looking forward to moving in with us when they start college. The biggest thing I miss is being able to pee in public urinals - especially at the movies. It’s really hell to have to wait on a stall. I really hadn’t thought about that before my penectomy.

THE END

Farrell Squire

June 28, 2002