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Warning To Story Readers.  The following story is a completely
fictionalized tale about a male being sexually nullified and humiliated
by a female.  If you are offended by such things don't read it.  If
stories like this spark your interest I wish you enjoy it.  Any
resemblance to persons, places, events or anything else is a total
coincidence . . . and a damn odd one at that.  I am interested in
comments, opinions, praise or constructive criticism about any aspect of
it.










The One I Should Have Let Go

I used to be a good-looking man named Rick.  This is the story of how I
became into my ex-girlfriend's female secretary, Lisa.  I'm also now the
live-in maid and sexual servant to her and her husband, Chuck.  Don't
misunderstand.  I am not a sissified she-male.  I should be so lucky. 
No.  Lisa has subjected me to full genital removal, as well as every
humiliation she could think of to please her whims.  If I had just let
her go I'd still be a man.

It all started with me as a twenty-five year old male investment broker
on Wall Street.  Tan, good-looking, medium build, fashionable with dark
hair and chiseled features.  A "big swinging dick" as they say.  I made
a fortune week-in and week-out and thought that the world was my oyster. 

Lisa was an twenty-two year old accountant who worked for a good company
in midtown Manhattan.  She was five-foot ten, had dark hair, ample but
not too large breasts, and big eyes.  Big-boned but definitely not
overweight -- voluptuous.  She appeared very innocent but had a wry
sense of humor that every so often exposed her deep intelligence.  She
knew that smart young women must disguise their raw and combative side
to advance their career.  And she was definitely destined to be a career
girl.

One of my clients had just bought the company that Lisa worked for and
had decided to hold a big party for all the employees and those like me
who helped finance the deal.  At the party I approached Lisa full of
confidence, and she appeared to accept my advances.  As we spoke she
gave me one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen.  She hooked me with
that smile.  At one point, however, she cut me off (not that way yet) in
mid-sentence, said she had to go to the ladies room and disappeared.  I
presumed that meant I had struck out.  But towards the end of the
evening she reappeared and asked me if I knew where a lady could get a
drink . . . a "stiff" one.  The way she said stiff made it clear she
wanted something other than a drink, and soon we were in a taxi on the
way to my apartment. 

In the cab, she said she had something for me, reached into her purse
and handed me her bra and panties.  Said she wouldn't be needing them
anymore that night.  I became a rock and lost it right then.  We began
to sloppily grouped each other in the cab.  I fingered her and she took
me in her mouth.  I came strong before we even arrived at my place and
we made hot, monkey love all night.  After that night we went steady,
and explored each other physically, emotionally and psychologically for
months.  Sex-wise, I tasted every part of her milky-white flesh. . .
toes, ankles, breasts, ears, neck, genitals, arm-pits, everything.  She
was delicious.  Over time she did the same to me.  She treated my cock
as though it was the most precious thing in the world.  She placed baby
kisses all over it and told me that she wanted it forever (who knew she
would get it this way).  She was perfect.  I fell totally in-love. 

At that time I doubt either of us knew she would one day take my
manhood.  Only once was the future foreshadowed.  We were bathing each
other in the tub one morning when she asked, in a kidding around kind of
way, what I would do if it were possible for her to take off my lovely
jewels and carry it with her when we were apart.  Kidding back, I said
she was my one and only, and that I would give it to her in that way if
I could, so long as I could have it back for sex.  She laughed and said
that I didn't mean it, because I could never get used to peeing sitting
down, and because I would be embarrassed at the gym.  (It turned out she
was right on both counts). 

Unfortunately, after a year together my perfect relationship with my
perfect girlfriend started to sour.  I still adored her but she grew
less infatuated with me.  The sex became more infrequent as she got into
her job, and we began to criticize each other.  I don't remember what
she said to me, but I sure remember the things I said to her – because
she has reminded me of them ever since.  As she became more and more
professional I started to tell her that she had to concentrate on her
looks.  I told her that a woman must keep herself attractive for her man
no matter how successful she becomes.  I reminded her that I made more
money, that if one of us had to concentrate on work it should be me, and
that if one of us had to concentrate on looks it should be her.  I even
suggested that she could loose a few pounds.  She grew to resent my male
chauvinist remarks.  She said that she was just as good as me, that her
work was just as important as mine and that I didn't deserve a girl as
good as her.  Eventually I lost her to another guy – Chuck, a tall,
handsome medical doctor with a square jaw and a thriving gynecology 
practice in Long Island.

When she left me I desperately tried to get her back.  I sent her poems
and flowers and presents.  I called her at work and home.  I told her I
would do anything if she would come back . . . anything.  Finally, she
agreed to see me again, but with a number of conditions.  First, she
said that I could not have her exclusively.  She said that she really
liked Chuck and wanted to continue to see him also, but that she would
see us both while she made up her mind who she would keep.  Second, I
had to prove that I meant I would do anything for her, no matter how
embarrassing.  She said I deserved "a little" humiliation.  I accepted
the terms then, but I never would have if I knew her definition of "a
little".

The first test came that weekend.  Chuck was out of town.  Lisa said I
should meet her early for some "naked fun", followed by a wild night
clubbing.  Sounded great.  Turned out to be the beginning of the end for
my manhood.  That evening I arrived Saturday at 6 p.m. sharp.  When Lisa
opened the door I was in heaven.  She was dressed in a
girls-just-want-to-have-fun outfit.  Tasteful but definitely sexual. 
She kissed me passionately and I it seemed like we were back to normal. 
Then she asked me whether I remembered what I had promised.  I said yes,
and she told me that tonight I would have to fulfill one of her
fantasies – which was to make me experience how difficult it is to be a
woman.  "What," I said.  "That's right", she said.   "You criticized me
for not being enough of a woman . . . well now you try it on for size." 
No matter what she had in mind I knew I didn't want to do it, but I felt
I owned it to her and I remembered my promise.  I was boxed in.  Either
do what she demanded or loose her forever.  I agreed.  That was my first
night in ladies clothing.  And it was fully documented by Lisa's video
camera.

My ordeal started in the living room by the fireplace.  I was made to
undress and throw my clothing into the flames.  I briefly protested, but
stopped when she said to remember my promise.  Next we went to the
bathroom, where I was instructed to wash throughly.  I did.  She then
made me apply hair remover to my entire body (except my head and my
crotch).  When it was done I was smooth like a woman.  For my crotch,
she made me lie back in the tub with my legs spread wide.  This was a
reenactment of something I had made her do months earlier to satisfy my
fantasy of shaving a woman.  Using a straight razor she shaved all
around and on my scrotum.  She fondled me throughout but never enough to
make me cum.  During the shaving she said that my balls made it hard for
her to complete the job, and asked if she could cut them off.  I of
course said no.  She said that I promised never to object to her
demands, and that I either say "yes" or we were over.  Hoping she was
just trying to push the line, I said "yes."  She responded:   "Good, this
time it was a test, but someday it might not be". 

Next we went to the bedroom, where she set my hair in curlers, dressed
me in a bra, panties, pantyhose and a seductive skirt.  She also taught
me to apply makeup and to do my nails, which became important later when
I was forced to be her personal at-home beautician and manicurist. 
Finally, she lifted my dress and encased my penis in a leather
contraption, which had spikes on the inside and a tiny lock on the
outside.  She then said it was time to hit the town.  We looked like
sisters:  her the gorgeous one, me the one with the flat-chest, but
still decent enough to interest a boy after he had had many drinks. 

We went to Barmonium, the hot new club in town.  On the way there she
kept rubbing my crotch to arouse my dick into the spiked cock-restraint. 
While she was doing this Lisa told me how she used to go to clubs when
she was still a freshman virgin in college, and how she and her closest
friends would play sexual dare games with each other.  The games started
with dares to French kiss new guys.  Then it was grabbing their pricks
through their pants.  Then it was inside the pants.  Then hand-jobs. 
Finally blow-jobs.  Eventually she and all of her close friends did all
of these things.  Obviously this story kept me hard, and as a result I
was in great pain because of the spikes in the cock-restraint.  As we
approached the club Lisa said tonight was "my turn" to go through this
initiation.  Quickly I got soft.  I protested, but she said with a pout: 
"Remember your promise".  I did and I wanted to please her.  I figured
it would be this one night, she'd realize my love, and who would know
anyway.  So I agreed. 

Lisa got things rolling by finding a couple of attractive guys for us,
Bill and Jim.  I was introduced as Ricky, Lisa's best girl-friend from
high school.  The guys thought I was just another woman, and I tried to
act the part as best I could.  I'm was no woman (at least I wasn't
then), but I followed her lead.  After a few drinks Lisa told the guys
that I had lost a bet with her, and that the looser had to do anything
the winner said.  She then said that she wanted to sexually satisfy the
guys, but that she was too much of a lady to do it, and that she was
going to require me to give them satisfaction instead.  First she pushed
me into Bill and instructed me to kiss him. I kissed my first man.  She
said make it deeper.  I kissed him deeply while thinking of my love for
her and saying to myself that I deserved this punishment.  The
crotch-fondling came next, followed by the hand-job.  Lisa and Jim
formed a human shield around me and Bill so that the others in the crowd
could not tell what was happening.  As I was manipulating Bill's dick
with my hand down his pants, Lisa said that I should make him cum in the
palm of my hand. Oh god, I thought . . but I did as told.  She then told
me to lick my hand clean.  My first taste of sperm.  Then Lisa said that
Jim looked so hot that she wanted a load of his sperm.  However, she had
nothing with which to keep it in so I was to carry it home for her in my
belly.  I was mortified, but knew it would happen because I loved her
too much to object.  The next thing I knew we were in the club's private
lounge area upstairs, Jim's pants were down, and I was down on Jim.  As
if that was not enough, to exert her control Lisa began whispering
instructions in my ear. . . the same types of instructions I had blurted
out in the past when she used to go down on me:  "lick the shaft, kiss
the testicles, suck harder, suck softer, roll your tongue, lower, Lower,
higher, faster, slower, faster, more pressure, fondle his balls, grab
his ass, suck, suck, suck, don't stop."  He came.  I gulped and
swallowed.  She whispered to me:  "Salty, isn't it!  Now thank him."  I
said thank you, and looked at Lisa in a way that made it clear I was
really thanking her for letting me please her.  We said goodbye to the
guys and left. 

At home Lisa made me lick, no worship, her vagina for hours.  She came
over and over.  I begged her to release my penis from the cock-restraint
and to let me have sexual relief.  I even pleaded for the right to
masturbate.  Anything for release.  Instead, she had me get down on all
fours and pulled out a large dildo I had once given her . . . for nights
when I was away.  She said that it always made her cum, and that since I
wanted to cum so badly she was going to use it on me to see if it would
have the same result.  Using a fragrant lube she slid the dildo into me,
lovingly and gently at first, then more aggressively, in and out,
twisting, faster, then slower.  I was being rubbed raw from the inside
out.  She then exclaimed:  "I wonder why it hasn't made you cum yet. 
Perhaps because you inferior-type men can only reach orgasm through
dick-play.  If only you didn't depend on that dick so much.  Let's see
if this helps".  She then reached around my waste and began to jerk me
off through the leather-studded restraint.  "Cum for me baby", she said.  
As her hand moved back and forth the spikes in the restraint cruelly
scraped my shaft.  I cried.  I wailed.  But she continued with tiny, and
then not so tiny, rhythmic movements.  She said:  "I won't stop until
you cum, even if this shreds your cock."  I begged her to stop.  She
continued.  I said I'd never get to cum this way.  She said:  "I guess
that means your cock gets ripped off tonight.  A lot sooner than I
planned.  Oh well, I guess the sooner the better, right?"  She
continued.  I screamed.  She continued.  Finally, half flacit, I used
every bit of concentration I had to ejaculate.  She said:  "Good boy.   I
guess you get to keep it for now."  I passed out.

Minutes later Lisa woke me and explained that I was not to fall asleep
without being fully prepared for bed, and that this now meant I was to
wear a but-plug every night from then on.  I was not permitted to go to
bed, or even nap, without one.  Furthermore, over time the size of the
butt plug I was to wear would be increased.  After all that had occurred
so far this seemed like the least of my worries.  She inserted the plug. 
"Sleep well," she said.

When I awoke the next morning I thought I had passed all her tests of
love.  Wrong.  Lisa told me that this was only the beginning.  She
explained that I was to wear girls clothes all day that Sunday as her
sexual and domestic slave.  Also, that evening I was to serve as slave
to both her and a friend of hers , Jill.  Jill was a beautiful, blond
girl-next-door type who worked at Lisa's beauty salon.  On the phone
Lisa told Jill all about my predicament, and said that she wanted Jill
to help further my transition into a woman.  Jill readily agreed.  That
evening Jill arrived with a briefcase full of stuff.  Lisa made me
answer the door wearing nothing but a woman's scarf.  My dick stood
straight out.  Jill laughed, shook my penis like a hand, and said saying
something about how tonight would be very interesting for me.  At Lisa's
instruction I prepared drinks and served dinner.  I was permitted to
participate in both, so long as I remained naked.  During dinner Jill
pointed out different things that could be done to make me less like a
man.  Full body electrolysis for one.  Change the color of my hair for
another.  Pierce  my ears . . . and nipples and bellybutton if Lisa
wanted me to look like a kinky girl.  She did.  She wanted it all.  Now
I was really scared.  Jill giggled.  Lisa proceeded to hand-cuff me to
the shower rod with my hands in the air.  She used the same cuffs that I
had used on her months ago to satisfy my fantasy of fucking a woman in
bondage.  Now I was to experience a similar fate.  Jill proceeded to
slowly and methodically use her equipment to destroy all of the hair
follicles on my face, body and crotch.  The piercings followed.  My ears
first.  Then nipples, and then bellybutton.  Just as Jill had explained. 
Then, as I sat there pondering my future, Jill made me a redhead.  Jill
originally suggested blond, but Lisa knew that I loved redheads and
remembered that I had once suggested she dye her hair red.  Before we
broke up she was going to do it for me even though I knew she had no
interest in such a change.  Now I was the one who had to undergo
changes.  Once again the whole procedure had been documented with Lisa's
video camera. 

Lisa was delighted.  But Jill said it just didn't look right with my
having a cock and balls.  In response, Lisa told her friend not to worry
about that, because if I failed to obey any command now or in the
future, those things would come off – and she expected me to fail sooner
or later.  Lisa instructed me to tell Jill about my promise to let her
do whatever she wanted with me.  I did.  Lisa then said I had a choice: 
"You can either have your testicles removed tonight by Jill using tools
from the kitchen, or keep them for now by signing a contract agreeing to
let me have a doctor modify you if you fail to keep your promise". 
Then, at Lisa's instruction, and with me still tied up, Jill got a
cheese grater from the kitchen and held it to my genitals.  Lisa
produced a pre-written contract.  As you can imagine I begged to sign it
rather than face the cheese grater.  I was unhand-cuffed and given a
pen.  I signed and my fate was sealed.

The girls were ecstatic.  They laughed and hugged.  Approaching me
lovingly, Lisa said I had earned a kiss, and some extra.  But she
insisted I be tied up so that I could not take control of the situation.  
Jill tied me to the dining room table face down.  My arms were tied to
the front legs of the table.  My legs to the back legs of the table. 
The table was small enough that my manhood hung down at the back.  A
pillow was placed below my chin.  Lisa whispered something to Jill and
Jill left the room.  A few minutes of cold silence passed. Jill emerged
from the kitchen with a bowl of hot wax.  Lisa broke the silence: 
"Since I assume you will eventually fail to comply with my wishes and
lose your penis, I am going to make a wax mold of it for posterity". 
Lisa then sat in a chair directly across from my head and stared into my
eyes, as Jill lightly stroked my shaft to get it hard.  Jill then raised
the bowl until it engulfed my member.  I screamed.  Lisa sighed with
passion.  "When its gone you'll thank me for saving this memento", she
said.  I tried to correct her:  "You mean if you remove it, right?   Not
when.  You said you would only remove it if I failed to obey you.  Isn't
that the deal?"  She responded:  "Opps.  I meant if."   Then she added: 
"But I'm sure you'll disappoint me, its just a matter of when."  She
smirked.

Jill said this was all very touching, but that she had to go to the
bathroom very badly.  I foresaw what was coming because many months
earlier I had convinced Lisa to let me pee in her mouth while I stood
above her in the shower.  I don't know why but it seemed like the thing
to do at the time.  Because she loved me then, she had sat up like a
puppy and begged for me to use her mouth in this way.  Now it was my
turn.  The girls whispered again.  Jill then said loudly that she would
go get a glass to pee in for my late night drink, but Lisa responded: 
"Why use a glass, just sit on his face and let him serve you."  Jill
nodded, untied me and made me lie on my back in the bathroom.  Lisa then
said:  "If you spill a single drop on the floor I'll cut off your penis
head tonight."  Jill then squated over my head and peed in my mouth.  I
drank every drop.  "Clean her", Lisa said.  Jill lowered herself to my
lips and I tongue-bathed her genitals.  I licked her labia, her clit,
and her backside.  Lisa looked a bit upset that I had not spilled any,
and said:  "I think I'll take the head right now anyway.  Any problem
with that, Ricky?"  Wisely I said nothing and prayed.  "Just kidding",
she said.  "Nothing comes off tonight."  Jill left and Lisa prepared me
for bed with a bigger butt plug than the night before.  "Sweet dreams",
she said.  Exhausted I fell a asleep.

The next morning Lisa instructed me to a two weeks off from work, and
she did the same.  For the next two weeks I lived in her spare bedroom. 
Every day the first week Lisa teased and punished me in new and
different ways.  Many of her friends and colleagues were invited over to
have fun with me.  I was gang raped with dildos, given enemas, and
forced to orally service dozens of girls . . . some attractive, some
overweight, some young, some middle aged.  One day I ate out her college
aged sister.  The next day her thirty-something boss got to use me (for
which Lisa got a promotion).  Another day her high-school buddies
decided to jerk me off with sandpaper.  It made me red and raw, but
afterwards I thought to myself:  'At least it hasn't been removed'. 
Everyone was told about the contract.  They all knew that if I failed to
satisfy them in any way, Lisa could and would obliterate my genitals,
and that anyone who I disappointed could join in the process.  I
dutifully obeyed them all. 

The next week Chuck returned.  Before he came over Lisa sat me down to
have a "discussion".  She told me that she had decided that she wanted
to marry Chuck.  She told me she was very proud of me for following her
direction over the past week, and that she felt I had learned many good
lessons about how hard it is to be a woman.  However, she said that me
and her were never going to get back together as a man-woman couple.  At
this point I had decided that it would be a good thing for us to part
ways.  My infatuation with her was over.  I told her that I was
relieved.  I said:  "At least my cock and balls are still in one piece.  
I know what you taught me will have a positive effect on my future
relationships.  I'll never treat women with disrespect again."  I'll
never forget what she said next.  "Oh, you don't get to keep your
manhood", she exclaimed.  "What?", I asked.  She jovially explained:  "I
wanted your thing before, and I still want it.  Your also staying.  I've
really enjoyed having a slave the past week.  I want it to continue. 
You have no choice."  I attempted to run, but I was naked and Lisa
grabbed me by the balls.  "Going somewhere with my property", she said.  
Then she squeezed hard.  I passed out.  

When I came to I was tied, backside down, to a massage table.  It was
the massage table I had bought for her months ago as a birthday present. 
My arms and legs were fastened to the sides of the table.  My legs were
spread out wide.  There was a hard foam pillow under my butt that raised
my gonads in the air.  Chuck was there, dressed very much like the
doctor he was.  Lisa was next to him, smiling.  He spoke first.  "I was
always afraid Lisa might fuck around on me with you", he said.  "But her
plan solves that problem for me."  Lisa then explained the plan.  Chuck
was going to use his medical skills to entirely remove my male
genitalia. I was to become their live-in maid and slave.  If I was good,
Chuck would eventually give me breast implants, and construct a
realistic looking vagina for me.  I'd get no female parts if I did not
please them.  But either way I would service them and their friends and
colleagues, so it would be best for me to be good, if I ever wanted to
be fucked anywhere other than in my ass.  "Please don't", I begged. 
"I'll do anything you want.  You can have all my money.  I'll leave the
state and disappear forever.  But please don't do this."  Lisa responded
in a husky voice:  "God Chuck how I want his penis removed.  Whatever he
says don't let him talk me out of it".   "No chance", he said.   I
pleaded.  Lisa said to Chuck that if I didn't stop babbling he should
gag me and perform the procedure with no anesthetic.  I became very
quiet, except for some soft whimpering.  

Pointing to a table with surgical tools laid out, Lisa waved her hand
over them like a game-show hostess and said:  "Look.  Here are the items
that Chuck is going to use to eradicate your precious manhood.  I always
wanted to have a girl of my own.  Now I will".  Then looking at Chuck,
she said:  "I love you darling.  Thank you for my wedding present."   He
responded:  "This is a present for me too, because now I know that I'm
to be your one and only man."  "Will he really know what's happening
during the procedure", she cooed.  "Yes.  Because he became quiet he'll
get an anesthetic, but I'll use a local so that he sees and hears
everything."  "Oh my this turns me on", she exclaimed.  She then kissed
him with all her might, dropped to her knees, unzipped his pants and
treated him to a world-class blow-job.  In between licking, sucking,
nibbling, lapping, and fondling, she teased me horribly.  "It's so much
more lovely than yours ever was, Rick.  [slurp]  I bet you wish this was
you, Rick.  [suck]  You'll never experience this kind of pleasure again,
Rick.  [lick]"  And on it went until he came in her mouth.  "Your
amazing", Chuck said.  "Any time, from here on in I'm all yours Chuck",
Lisa said.

Chuck suggested that Lisa hold my genitals throughout the procedure
because he did not want to touch another man.  Lisa laughed and asked
what Chuck would do when I give him blow-jobs in the future as their
live-in slave.  Chuck said that that would be different because I would
not be a man in the future.  She accepted the logic of that answer.  She
then grabbed my penis and asked me if it felt good to be in her hands
one last time.  I said nothing.  She squeezed.  I said "yes dear."  She
released.  Chuck then injected me at the base of my scrotum with some
fluid which I presumed to be the local.  Lisa used oil to swab down my
entire crotch.  Chuck said that to make the whole thing more
interesting, he had used an anesthetic that numbs the area from pain but
that would leave enough responsiveness for me to recognize the enjoyment
of Lisa's touching my cock right up to the end.   "Your so bad", she
said to Chuck.  "Oh I'm bad; look whose emasculating her old boyfriend",
he said.  They both chuckled. 

He then told her to lightly stimulate me so that my shaft would grow for
easier insertion of the catheter.  She did, and slowly my piss-hole was
invaded by a piece of thin plastic tubing.  "Which would you like to
loose first. . . your balls or your dick", Lisa asked me.  I replied in
tears that I didn't care since I didn't want to lose either.  She then
said:  "I'll make you a deal.  You can keep one of them, but you must
make the choice, and you must sincerely thank me when its over.  On the
one hand, if I tell him to remove your cock, your testicles will remain
to give you male sexual urges, but you will have no mechanism for
release.  On the other hand, if I tell him to remove your balls, you'll
loose your male sexual desires, but you'll still be able to pee standing
up and you'll still look mostly like a man when others see you naked. 
What'll it be."  I blurted:  "I choose my cock.  Please let me keep my
cock."  Lisa responded:  "O.K.  But you have to beg me to have him
remove your testicles.  It must sound sincere."  I begged like there was
no tomorrow:  "Please, Lisa, have Chuck cut off my balls.  I don't
deserve them.  There yours.  They've always belonged to you.  I think
they'd be happier with you anyway.  Bye bye balls, bye."  "But what
would I do with a pair of balls", she queried in jest, and to test how
creative my begging could be.  Frantically I responded:  "Anything you
want, my love.  They'd make great earrings.  Or marbles.  Or door
knockers.  I'm sure you can do lots of things with them."  "But I
already have too many pairs of earrings and those other ideas are so
impractical", she said.  "How about an office paperweight", I said.  
"How ridiculous. . . . But I guess I could mount them on the wall next
to a picture of you."  "Great", I said.  "O.K., I accept your pathetic
offer to give me your balls", she said. 

[end pt1.  See pt.2]

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