Odd day

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	"My name is Jena Fontain." "I am the receptionist how may I 
help you."  Said the tall blonde woman behind a large wooden desk.   
At that very moment the desk was shifting into a large wooden Viking 
ship.   Quickly I spun to face the corner, glancing idly at a large 
portrait of Elenor Roosavelt I had never seen before.  "It's not 
there, it's not there."  I muttered quietly under my breath, mrs. 
Fontain's voice drifted lazily across the room.  "Is there anything 
wrong?" "No, no nothing at all."  I said with as great a conviction 
as I could.  Turning I  flashed her my most winning smile, but the 
desk was now a large brown Lama chewing disconcertingly on the plush 
shag carpeting.  I carefully peered around the end of the Lama.  "I 
really do need to see doctor Ramsbotem if it's at all possible!"  I 
said.  "You see I just met my second mythical creature of the day in 
the hall way, and I really need to talk to some body about it." "And 
he did say I could drop in at any time, the doctor that is not the 
mythical creature." "I'll check to see if he's with a patient."  Mrs. 
Fontain said pleasantly.   She grasp the Lama's ear, and spoke into 
it softly.  "Doctor, there's a Mr. Lobrouw here to see you." "Oh yes 
Lenny!"  The doctor said. "Send him in!"  The doctors voice seemed to 
come from the Lama's nostrles.  "The doctor will see you."  Mrs. 
Fontain said pleasently.   "Its just through the door on your 
right."  I slowly opened the door and peered cautiously into the 
room, every thing appeared to be normal.   So I casually walked in, 
Doctor Ramsbotem stepped around his metal framed glass desk and grasp 
my hand.  "So how have ye been lad, how have ye been?" He asked in a 
thick highland brogue, that I didn't remember him having.  "Fairly 
well, fairly well but today's been kind of rough." "Well sit down and 
tell me all about it." He said pointing to a chair.  "Or maybe you 
would perfer the crocodile." "I think so."   I said flopping down on 
the soft lavender crocodile.   I streached out put my feet up, and 
clasp my hands behind my head.  "Well alright begin."  He said, 
studing his writing pad intently.  "Well it started pretty early this 
morning." "I woke up and cooked my self breakfast, then realized I 
had nothing in the house to eat but peaches."  "Did you have any 
brown sugar?"  He asked intently.  "Brown sugar is good on peaches." 
"Nope I said.  "Nothing but peaches." "H'm!"  He muttered.  "Thats a 
shame, were they Georgia peaches?" "They wouldn't say."  I answered.  
"And anyway its impolite to ask." "Yes, yes of course!"  He said 
distractedly scribling something in his note book.  "So you can see I 
had to go to the market, being as I had nothing to eat but peaches." 
"It was a beautiful day so I decided to walk." "I suppose it was 
around thirty fourth and blander, that I stepped on the spinxes 
tail." "Being a long tail it was rather hard to miss, and I was of 
course distracted by the automobile accident." "Stepped on his tail 
h'm, well I suppose that irritated him." "Actually he was rather good 
natured about it, I gather this sort of thing happens all of the 
time." "I see so he wasn't miffed at you then?"  The good doctor 
inquired as he scribbled away on his pad.  "No we had a very pleasent 
conversation while we stood waiting for the light to change." "h'm 
riddles, mysteries that sort of thing?"  The doctor inquired 
curiously.  "Um, No politics and the stock market, that sort of 
thing."  "Aha!"  Doctor Ramsbotem exclaimed raising a finger.  "It's 
the same thing really." "I see so I cut across traffic, and headed 
down vine." "The problem came when I got to the market" "You see the 
doorways had become giant venus fly trapps, and thats when I knew it 
was goin to be one of those day's!" "So I decided to come down and 
have a talk with you." 						"I 
flagged down a hansome cab, and gave the address to the driver." "Did 
you make good time?" "No not really." "The driver went through white 
chapel."  "H'm long way white chapel." He muttered scribbling 
furiously on his pad.  "It was scenic, and at least I did get here 
before lunch." "Planning to have lunch at Hennlyes?" "Get a little 
back bacon and a Molsen A?" "I was thinking of ordering a Rubin, 
fries and a nice ice tea."  "Yeah thats good, thats good A." I didn't 
know your Canadian." "Oh I'm not, I just pretend to be whenever I go 
to Hennlyes!"  The doctor assured.  "Well anyway."  I said.  
"Everything was pefectly alright, until I stepped off of the elevator 
onto your floor." "I had just stopped to light my pipe, when I felt 
something nudge me in the rib's." "It seems I had managed to get in 
the way of a unicorn!" "Thats not advisable those horns are very 
sharp."  The good Docter warned.  "He was rather ill tempered, and 
acussed me of being a lion sypathizer." "Not wishing to be more 
throughly poked by a unicorn, he was getting that look in his eye." 
"You know the one." "Oh my yes!" "So I just entered the first door I 
saw." "Ahmm yes and?" "I found myself in a room with about a dozen 
men, all naked on their knee's and bent over low benches." "Aaaha I 
think I see!" The docter grinned.  "A little sodomy?" He asked 
leering.  "No, no not at all." "A nice looking young lady in a white 
smock, was going down the line with a hefty pair of surgical scissors 
castrating the whimpering men!" "Mousy brown hair thick glass?" 
"Yes." "I do believe so." "Ahh Dr Benda Love, she does good work, a 
Freudian I believe." "Yes." "Well she seemed very professional." 
"Yes, yes please continue." "She turned and said I'll be with you in 
a minute, an asked me to please disrobe and take a bench." "I began 
unbuttening my trousers it was about that time the unicorn came 
barging in." "Demanding to know just exactly what it was I ment by 
that last remark, he seemed very agitated an pinned me in a corner." 
"I'll bet that was a bit dicey!"  The Docter chuckled.  "Yes quite." 
"I could see I wasn't about to get out of this unpenetrated!" "The 
unicorn was very perturbed?" "Indeed." "His ears were laying back 
flat on his head, his neck was arched, his tail was raised, thank 
goodness Dr Love was there!" "Calm him down did she?" "She was just 
finishing up, an turn toward us said." "Ahh I see this is an 
emergence"  Reaching under his flowing white tail she cut the 
unicorn's massive testicles off with single snip." "Gelded him just 
like that!"  The docter laughed snapping his finger's.   "My she is 
good!" "Isn't she?" "Well yes!" " I saw that as soon as I walked into 
the room!" "Ahh and how did he react to that?" "Well as you can see 
there really wasn't much he could do THEN!" "So he apologized for the 
inconvenience, rather sheepishly thanked the good docter for her 
generous assistance an quickly left!" "Confused and humiliated, I 
believe by the whole brutally degrading an shamefully ignominious 
episode!" "He's lucky he didn't stick around then, I believe the 
second part of that therapy is generally penis removal!" "Oh well she 
did make him and appointment for next week!" "Ah well patients are 
usually intensely docile and yielding after such a treatment." "It 
was about then the batteries in her vibrator burned out, so she had 
to resort to manual stimulation!" "Finger's?" "Yes." "With her hand's 
busy, she just past a scalple down the line after that, and each man 
took care of the second half of his own treatment!" "At her command I 
presume!" "Yes that was all it took." "And what about you?" "Well I 
informed her that I was infact one of your patients." "She urged me 
to take her treament's as well." "As she put it." "He can slam it to 
your ass just as easily after my treatment's as before!" "I thanked 
her for subduing the raging unicorn, and for the advice, but said I'd 
really have to talk to you about it first." 			
		"Wise decision my boy,  all that Freudian stuff 
alway's struck me a bit strange." "Yes highly effective though." 
"Indeed if it works on unicorn stallion's it'll work anyone, but 
please continue." "Well after I helped her collect and deep fry all 
the severed testicles.   Sodomizing each man with his own severed 
penis!   I came right down." "Anything more?" "Well thats a very nice 
picture of Eleanor Roosevelt you have out in the waitly room." "And I 
think your receptionist is having quite a bit of trouble with her 
desk." "Oh?" "It turned into a long ship and a lama while I was 
waiting." "An actual long ship, were there any vikings/" "No just the 
ship." "Ah ha!" "So what do you think?" "Am I crackers?" "No, no 
you've just had a rough day." "It happens to all of us from time to 
time!" "Now hop up we'll started you off with a little 
fellatiotherapy, and ah I see you've already removed your trousers." 
"Very good because I think we'll definitively have to do some 
psychosodomistic therapy as well." "Yes Dr Love was right, you 
absolutely require psychsodomistic therapy today!"   Docter Ramsbotem 
affirm, pumping his well lubricated hand up and down the full lenght 
of his enormous throbbing penis!!