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I shall never cease while I live to praise and extol Dr. Peter L. Phillips who snatched me back from the jaws of madness and death by curing me of the solitary vice. At the tender age of thirteen I became inextricably enmeshed in the toils of self-abuse.I had no sooner discovered this unwholesome pleasure than I became utterly given over to it. In innocent ignorance, I indulged in it for two years before discovering its dreadful effects. Even before I learned that, though, I realized that it had become an unbreakable habit. I COULD NOT keep my hand away from my private member . When I learned of the terrible harm which onanism could cause, I resolved to desist immediately and completely. After five days, my manly glands ached unbearably. When my seed suddenly bursted forth without my volition, I found it necessary to relieve my throbbing parts. I found the need to void my congested male glands as pressing at that to void my bowels or my bladder. My life for the next seven years was an interminable struggle to conquer a habit which had over-mastered my will. The pernicious effects of the ruinous practise became ever more evident. I became unbearably nervous. I felt as if I might at any moment scream. As I abused myself ever more frequently, I became chronically exhausted. My muscles became tremulous and I developed nervous tics. I was troubled by patches of blindness bounded by jagged flickering borders. These came and went and often interfered greatly with reading. I read in a tract by one Dr. Pearson that these symptoms are precursors of apoplexy and that masturbation is the commonest, indeed, probably the only cause of apoplexy in youths and young men , as it is rightly a disease of age. I often considered going to Philadelphia and placing myself in the hands of Dr. Phillips, but the cost and my natural embarassment and diffidence long deterred me from doing so. My best friend, Eric, was afflicted with the same destructive habit as I and we often counselled and encouraged each other in our efforts to break the habit, to no avail. When we were both 22, I received the horrible tidings that my dear friend had died suddenly of apoplexy. I knew the cause and I knew that it would soon be my turn to succumb to that dread ailment. If it did not kill me immediately as it did him, it would paralyze me and then the brain would slowly deteriorate, declining into a state of idiocy.I finally resolved to seek Dr. Phillips' aid. I found Dr. Phillips to be wonderfully sympathetic. He examined my eyes, my heart and lungs, and my seminal glands. He also felt the blood vessels in my neck and temples. Then he told me to squat down on my heels and rise as rapidly as possible and repeat this exercise as often as possible. On the fourth squat, my seed gushed out and I fainted.I awoke with a headache and felt dizzy. Dr. Phillips told mne that I was teetering on the brink of apoplexy and that immediate drastic action was imperative. In mild cases of chronic onanism, the frequency of indulgence can be reduced very gradually until the patient ceases to abuse himself.In cases oif frequent daily abuse such as mine, this procedure is too slow and almost impossible to adhere to. In such a case as mine, he told me, only the radical cure is effective. Protracted onanism forces the testicles to produce an abnormally excessive quantity of semen which must be voided . This diseased condition of the glands makes it impossible to desist from masturbating. Therefore, the supply of semen must be cut off , i.e. the glands which produce it must be cut off. I was shocked and saddened to hear this. However, I was not entirely surprised nor unprepared to learn this. Dr. Pearson's tract had mentioned castration as the most effective cure for habitual onanism. I consented to undergo the operation. Dr. Phillips administered nitrous oxide ("laughing gas") to render me insensible to pain before opening my scrotum, removing my male glands, and cauterising the blood vessels which had provided them with nourishment. I awoke just after he had finished stitching up the incisions in my scrotum. He applied a collodion dressing and advised me to go straightaway to bed and remain there except for calls of nature for the next week. I was to take only sponge baths until he removed the stitches a fortnight hence. Afterward, I was to abstain from running, jumping, climbing, dancing, wrestling, hoirseback riding, strenuous sports of any kind, and heavy lifting for a month. Though I felt weak after the surgery, I felt much lighter in my mind and calmer almost immediately. Now, six months later, I feel healthier than I can recall having been for about 7 years. Though gaunt and haggard before, I am now becoming stout and beginning to develop a bit of embonpoint. The wonderful improvement in my state of mind and body I must attribute to the skill and wisdom of Dr. Phillips. God bless him ! |