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NERO
By Pueros Chapter XIII – Festivals (Plebeian quarter, Rome, in December of the 5th year of the reign of the Emperor Claudius [AD 46]) ‘He doesn’t deny that in his ‘Eunuch’ he has transported characters out of the Greek, but….if the same characters will not be permitted, how is it more permissible to depict a servant on the run, or to make use of good old women, evil courtesans, a gluttonous parasite, a braggart soldier, a changeling, an old man duped by a servant, or even love, hate and suspicion? In short, nothing is said that has not been said before!’ - Terence (‘The Eunuch’, lines 31-41) “Sir,” I asked the major domo, when he came to check on how well I was proceeding with tidying one of the luxurious urban villa’s main reception and living rooms, or ‘tablina’, “would it be possible for me to return to the young mistress’ personal service?” The free man was temporarily at a loss for words at hearing my request, knowing how much Sribonia and Tullia had previously tormented and abused me. Crispina was no longer present in Caius Silius’ resplendent residence, as she had returned to her family whilst her divorce from her older husband was organized. Gaius had been similarly rendered speechless when I advised him later, during one of his delightful daily visits, of what I intended to do. Having arranged my salvation not only from my master’s terrible retribution but also from the daughters’ sadistic service, he had at first been shocked to hear of my intent, believing that I had taken leave of my senses. However, after learning my motive, my youthful lover gave me a long lingering embrace with passionate kiss and did not try to dissuade me. The handsome 16 year-old told me instead, with clear admiration that fortified my determination immensely, that he recognized brave selfless self-sacrifice when he saw it and thought my idea highly commendable, although he would have preferred an alternative solution to the problematical situation which had just arisen. Gaius was, of course, concerned about my personal welfare, as Sribonia and Tullia would undoubtedly return to their previous nasty ways with me. However, the youth, like me, could think of no other answer to the news with which Apollinus, ever knowledgeable about the goings-on in Caius Silius’ household, had just acquainted me. The usual agent was to be commissioned to purchase and arrange the castration of another pretty slave boy from fashionable Britannia to serve the young mistresses. I had been distressed at the thought of a young compatriot losing his balls just so that my pride and bottom could be protected from Sribonia and Tullia and their young friends, and had decided that I should try to prevent such an occurrence at all costs. Accordingly, I soon found myself back in the company of the cruel girls and the unpleasant Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, Marcus Annaeus Lucanus and Silius Italicus. (Domus of Agrippina the Younger, Rome, dies Jovis A.D. XVIII Kal. Ian. DCCC A.V.C. [Thursday, 15th December, AD 46]) ‘Pythagoras, when he was asked what time was, answered that it was the soul of this world.’ - Plutarch The Romans count years from the establishment of their great metropolis, which supposedly took place 799 years before the opening of my saga. They use the abbreviation A.U.C., for ‘ab urbe condita’, or ‘from the foundation of the city’, to denote this. The current year is therefore DCCXCIX A.U.C., although that quoted in the date would be DCCC A.U.C. [more correctly ‘A.V.C.’, as the Romans did not possess the letter ‘U’; they also did not possess the letter ‘J’, so they would have written ‘Julius’ as ‘Ivlivs’ - Pueros]. I shall attempt to explain this paradox for those unacquainted with the strangeness of the Roman calendar, which still confuses me even though I have been using it for sixty years. Until Julius Caesar reformed the calendar, the Romans originally divided the year into ten months, causing September, October, November and December to be so named from the Latin words for seven, eight, nine and ten. Additionally, only four months, Martius (named after the god Mars), Maius (after the goddess Maia), Quintilis (meaning ‘fifth’) and October previously had 31 days. In Caesar’s posthumous honour, the old fifth month and new seventh month of the year, Quintilis, was renamed ‘Julius’. His successor would be similarly honoured, ‘Sextilis’ (sixth) being changed to ‘Augustus’. For those who do not know, the months of Januarius, Februarius, Aprilis and Junius are named respectively after the god Janus, the word ‘februo’, meaning ‘purify’, the month being renowned for purification festivals, the word ‘aperire’, meaning ‘open’, as in spring with leaves and flowers, and the goddess Juno. The Romans follow the Greek practice in naming the days of the week after the sun, moon and five known planets. Hence, there are the dies Solis, Lunae, Martis, Mercurii, Jovis, Veneris and Saturni [Sunday, Monday, etc – Pueros]. They also give them numbers, counting back from the Kalends, Nones or Ides of the month, with the calculation performed inclusively. This system harks back to the early calendar, which was based on the moon, when a priest would announce the beginning of a month after seeing the first faint sliver of light in a new moon’s black disc. He would ‘calare’, or ‘call out’, hence the origin of the term for the first of the month, the Kalends. The next phase of the moon, the first quarter when it is exactly half a disc, was called the ‘Nones’ and the full moon the ‘Ides’. The waning half-moon was not marked.
The Kalends is therefore always the 1st day of the month. The Nones is the 5th, or 7th in one of the four original 31-day months, with the Ides similarly either the 13th or 15th. Thus, for example, in Januarius, as the Nones falls on the 5th, the third day of the month is reckoned to be, using inclusive counting, ‘three days before the Nones of Januarius’, abbreviated, with ‘A.D.’ standing for ‘ante deum’, or ‘days before’, as ‘A.D. III Non. Ian’. Apart from the Kalends, Nones and Ides themselves, exceptions to this terminology are the days immediately before such fixed lunar marks, which are called ‘pridie’ or ‘eve of’. Thus, the 14th day of Martius is ‘Pridie Idus Martias’. According to this calendar system, today, despite still being in the year DCCXCIX, would be denoted as ‘A.D. XVIII Kal. Ian. DCCC A.V.C.’, being 18 inclusive days before the 1st day of Januarius in the new year. It is the inclusive counting that has always given me problems. I still find it difficult, for example, to consider the 1st day of a month to be three, as the Romans do, and not two days, as my people do, before the 3rd day of the month. Dies Jovis A.D. XVIII Kal. Ian. DCCC A.V.C. was also the 9th anniversary of the birth of Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, and I was the slave assigned to the personal service of Sribonia and Tullia whilst they visited the boy’s palatial home. I had walked alongside the girls’ litters, carried by four sturdy slaves apiece, as Caius Silius’ daughters were formally transported to the associated celebration, attended by many of Rome’s most important patrician children. To say that I was not looking forward to my own presence at the event would be an understatement. The short journey itself was rather unpleasant, as it was a cold winter’s day with a strong chilly breeze and I was allowed to wear just my usual sparse crimson tunic. The only concession that I was permitted to protect my slim 14 year-old form from the harsh external conditions was the pair of sandals I had been given to protect my feet from the stones and other debris, some very unpleasant, to be found on many of Roman’s thoroughfares. The footwear, of course, did not aid my bodily warmth and I recall arriving at Agrippina’s domus covered in goose pimples, shivering and almost blue in colour, much to my young mistresses’ amusement. Fortunately, the residence’s central heating hypocaust, which fed warm air from an under-floor furnace into rooms through flues in the walls, was working perfectly and I quickly defrosted. However, physical discomfort was only replaced by the mental variety, as I accompanied Caius Silius’ daughters into the throng of privileged youngsters surrounding the young host in an enormous tablina. The boy was flanked as usual by Marcus Annaeus Lucanus and Silius Italicus. When Sribonia and Tullia eventually managed to meet, congratulate, offer their presents to and exchange pleasantries with Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, the latter loudly exclaimed, on seeing me with the girls, “I see you’ve brought your eunuch from Britannia, No-Balls, with you. That’s good as I’d like to use him later for one of our party games!” My face, as was not uncommon in the service of Caius Silius’ daughters, immediately turned the same colour as my tunic. I was sure that I was not the only eunuch present, as many of the personal slaves attending other guests would have been rendered similarly incapable of sexual molestation of their young charges, even if those they were required to serve were of the male variety. I therefore did not know why the birthday celebrant felt compelled to emphasize my particular gelded status to his young visitors, or to want me to be the centre of later mirth. It was a personally cruel attitude that I later did fathom, as I came to observe the life of Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus for over another twenty years. “That’s nice,” declared Sribonia, referring to a new golden locket worn around his neck by Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus. “Yes,” the chubby new 9 year-old responded, “mother gave it me.” The boy then grinned wickedly whilst asking “Want to see what’s inside, as it’s something No-Balls here will ever have?” Both the 13 year-old girl and her 11 year-old sister already knew the answer. However, I remained ignorant of this particular Roman custom until their young host opened his ‘fascinum’. I quickly appreciated why anything as intriguingly powerful as a penile erection is thought 'fascinating' when Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus opened his new 'fascinum', for inside was a golden replica of a fully hard male sexual organ. The boy and his regular companions, as well as several other young guests nearby, who had been privy to the earlier conversation, immediately burst into laughter at the sight of both the facsimile penis and my instant discomfort at the chubby host’s gibe and revelation. Amongst the loudest was a 14 year-old, rather gaudily groomed, who I later discovered was called Otho and who was already shaving his legs. He was in the company of a younger girl who seemed infatuated with the young dandy and who I subsequently learnt was named Poppaea. Fortunately, Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus then seemed to lose interest in me and began to greet other newly arriving guests. Unfortunately, such distraction was only temporary and the 9 year-old birthday boy subsequently sought out Sribonia and Tullia, and their 14 year-old slave, from amongst the large throng of young visitors. “Can I borrow No-Balls,” Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus requested, “for the first party game?” “Of course,” Sribonia answered for herself and her younger sister, “and do you want him naked?” “Yes,” their young host replied simply whilst displaying a wicked sneer. “Strip, No-Balls,” 13 year-old Sribonia then eagerly ordered, whilst her 11 year-old sibling giggled, “and show everyone what you haven’t got!” (Domus of Palaemon, Rome, same time) ‘In alio pediculum, in te ricinum non vides.’ (‘You see a louse on someone else, but not a tick on yourself.’) - Petronius “Welcome to my home, Petronius,” Palaemon announced with a wide smile, for he liked the 20 year-old who was calling unexpectedly upon him, although he was less sure about his slightly younger companion. However, the renowned teacher hid this wise apprehension well when he continued “And you too, Titus Vinius. What brings you both to my humble abode?” “Concern about your welfare,” Petronius answered, “as we haven’t seen you at the usual dining tables of late. We were worried that you might be unwell.” “However,” the 20 year-old then proceeded, with a little cough accompanied by a knowing broad smirk, as he fully appreciated the beautiful sight of Palaemon’s new personal slave standing at his seated master’s side, “I can clearly see that that is not the case. It seems that you’ve been indulging in other pleasurable pastimes!” Palaemon reciprocated the visitor’s perceptive grin but did not immediately respond, instead allowing Petronius to continue by enquiring “Don’t I know your new servant from somewhere?” Axenius immediately blushed, knowing what the answer was, for both the visitor and his companion had bedded him at some of Caius Silius’ orgies when he had been younger. Axenius had hated all such forced liaisons but had regarded Petronius as being by no means the worst company, because the young man had shown courtesy and consideration in his lovemaking. However, Titus Vinius, in contrast to his public façade, had been rather unpleasant, exhibiting a very nasty streak, designed to hurt through both words and action. He added to this trait now by undiplomatically advising his friend “I’m surprised you don’t recognize the boy, Petronius, for you’ve enjoyed his favours a few times at Caius Silius’ house.” Dampness came to the blonde 16 year-old’s sensuous blue eyes at this ill-mannered reminder of his past. Fortunately, both Petronius and Palaemon recognized the embarrassing discourtesy and quickly changed the subject. Meanwhile, Axenius went to collect a splendid silver pitcher of the finest wine, with matching very expensive goblets, to offer as refreshment to his master and guests. It was later, after Petronius and Titus Vinius had departed, that the young Germanian noticed that one of the precious ornate cups had disappeared. (The ‘House of Cybele’, plebeian quarter, Rome, same time) ‘Factum est illud, fieri infectum non potest.’ (‘Done is done, it cannot be made undone.’) - Plautus (‘Aulularia’) Nigerina, aided by his natural physical robustness, had fully recovered with remarkable swiftness from his genital nullification, at least as far as his physical condition was concerned, for the mental scars would never truly heal. The wife of the youth’s new owner had carefully supervised the 16 year-old’s recuperation from the appalling alteration to his pleasant form, as well as his readying for his new degrading role. His new home, the male brothel known as the ‘House of Cybele’, specialized in providing young eunuchs dressed as girls for its clients. However, the newcomer would not only be the busy establishment’s first black prostitute but also the first to have had his whole genitalia, as opposed to just testes, removed, a consequence of which was that he required a straw to assist with urination. The proprietors were experimenting to see how their patrons reacted to such an addition to their offerings, proposing to secure others, some white, if the exercise proved successful. The supervising middle-aged woman was unlikable in many ways but she recognized a likely highly profitable source of income when she saw one and so took great care over Nigerina’s convalescence and preparation. A cruel streak also actually saw her gain much amusement and pleasure from attending to the youth’s awful wound and debasing introduction to the world of male prostitution as a feminized catamite. This process included teaching the intelligent 16 year-old elementary Latin, enough initially for him to obey simple instructions and to become aware of the demeaning nature of his future duties, which were shockingly horrifying for such an African, rightly proud of his noble heritage. Nevertheless, Nigerina felt compelled to learn his new function in life compliantly, having been forced to witness some of the dreadful punishments inflicted on his young white gelded counterparts as a consequence of any mistakes or complaints from customers. There were frequent nasty beatings, skillfully designed to hurt terribly but not to cause so much damage that the miscreants could not be quickly hired out again to other clients. The 16 year-old had also observed one very pretty 15 year-old eunuch being rented to a group of sadists for public torture on the central entertainment stage in the large brothel’s main drinking and dining hall. As well as experiencing weighted clamps on his nipples and a number of whiplashes, the boy had endured the insertion of many needles into the tenderest parts of his lovely body plus spiked dildos into his rectum. His anguished screams had been drowned out by loud raucous laughter and commentary from the many spectators. As a result of such spectacle, Nigerina had obediently practised his new duties. These included how to serve customers with their food and drink, as well as how to dance erotically and to disrobe from his feminine garb alluringly so that the clients could enjoy sexual dessert. Lovemaking instruction included the arts of providing pleasurable delight through kissing, fondling and being the supplier of fellatio and recipient of sodomy. In practising fellatio and sodomy, Nigerina’s female supervisor used dildos to show the youth how to lick and suck large oral intruders proficiently and how to move and contort his naked body to give his patrons the maximum ecstasy from his anus. However, with the latter skill, the brothel owner’s wife took care to use a wooden phallus that was sufficiently small not to deflect from the innocence of the youth’s rear aperture. She was fully aware of the substantial fee to be gained from selling an undamaged new prostitute’s virginity for deflowering, and so was very keen that the 16 year-old’s sphincter and rectum showed no sign of earlier invasion. Nigerina’s recovery and preparation had finally come to an end and he was ready to serve his first customer. The youth was therefore currently being groomed and dressed carefully by his new owner’s spouse for his first public appearance in the brothel. He appreciated that that evening he would be presented on the central stage, seductively attired in a woman’s stola, wearing a female wig and with his face made up as if he were a girl seeking a husband, which in a cruel way he was. The 16 year-old knew that he would be required to dance before being sold for the night to the highest bidder. (Western Britannia, same time) ‘E pluribus unum.’ (‘One out of many.’) - Virgil (‘Moretum’, line 102) In my younger years, I often wished that the tribes of my native land could have unified to repel the Roman invaders, whose success was helped immeasurably by the disunity of the Britannians. A little phrase in Virgil’s obscure recipe for preparing a breakfast ‘moretum’, or ‘ salad’, out of the garlic and herbs he gathered one morning, seemed to sum up my dream. The poet lingers on the grinding and mixing of ingredients, inducing shades of white and green to blend until at last only one results (lines 99-104):- ‘Dextera pistillo primum fragrantia mollit alia, Tum pariter mixto terit omnia suco. It manus in gyrum: paulatim singula vires Deperdunt proprias, color est e pluribus unus, Nec totus viridis, quia lactea frusta repugnant, Nec de lacte nitens, quia tot variatur ab herbis.’ (‘The right hand first mashes the fragrant garlic with a pestle, Then grinds everything equally in a juicy mixture. Then hand goes in circles: gradually the separate essences Lose distinction, the colour is one out of many, Neither all green, since milky white bits resist it, Nor shining milky white, since the herbs are so various.’) Virgil uses ‘unus’, as the word ‘colour’ is masculine in Latin, whereas I utilize the neutral ‘unum’ in my quote, believing that nations made of men and women should be afforded no gender. Hearing of Caratacus’ continued war against the invaders of my homeland in my servile exile in the Imperial capital, I harboured hopes for a while that he might unify the tribes into a united kingdom under his leadership and then drive the Romans back into the sea. Alas, it was not to be, although the sovereign to whom I was supposed to award loyal fealty was to give the conquerors a good fight over many years. Caratacus was now launching damaging raids into Roman-occupied territory from the relative safety of the hilly lands in the west of Britannia populated by the Silures, before retreating into the more mountainous regions of the Ordovices when threatened. My king’s activities were particularly annoying for the invaders because they could never feel secure whilst the incursions continued, and it looked as if they might do so indefinitely, so elusive were the warrior remnants of my tribe. Nevertheless, unity amongst the peoples of Britannia was never achieved except eventually under Roman domination. I therefore wonder, as I look back on my long life, whether instead one day another great nation may rise to justify the motto ‘e pluribus unum’. (Domus of Agrippina the Younger, Rome, same time) ‘Dum inter homines sumus, colamus humanitatem.’ (‘As long as we are among humans, let us be humane.’) - Seneca the Younger “Why do you want him to do that?” asked Britannicus, although at the time I did not know the identity of the pretty infant. Sribonia had not appreciated that the Emperor’s young son had been close by when she had asked me to strip and she at first struggled to answer the 5 year-old. Meanwhile, I hesitated to comply with her instruction, partly out of shameful dread at obeying in front of such a large group of mainly younger spectators and partly because of desperate hope that the infant’s question might bring a reprieve from having to fulfil such a humiliating command. Sribonia eventually managed to respond to Britannicus by announcing that the order had been conveyed at the behest of their host. Claudius’ son therefore addressed the same question to his relative, Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, who was clearly annoyed at having to answer but did so with feigned politeness because of the status of his young guest, who was, after all, the most important person present. “The barbaric Britons are supposed to paint themselves,” Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus declared, with an evil glint in his eyes, “so I thought that we could oblige this particular specimen by decorating his body ourselves. I have the necessary paint and brushes and, afterwards, I though that he could walk back to his master’s residence naked to show the people of Rome our craftsmanship.” Many titters erupted from amongst the surrounding crowd of young patricians at the thought of this particular party game. However, the sudden excitement in the majority, and horror in me, induced by their host’s announcement was rapidly quelled. “My father says that that’s not the way a proper Roman treats those we’ve successfully subdued,” Britannicus suggested, with remarkable maturity for one of his tender years, “for, amongst other reasons, all you’re doing is reminding them of their uncivilized pasts. We should instead, my father says, be educating them that our conduct and way of life are superior in all ways to those of barbarians in order to encourage them to follow suit.” “Yes,” supported his similarly aged best friend, Titus Flavius Vespasianus, as always at the side of the likely heir to the Principate, with similar grown-up wisdom, “to deal with magnanimity and justice with those we’ve conquered, and who have obediently accepted our rule, is the way of true Romans. After all, we prefer allies to enemies and so, if a person or people don’t deserve humiliation, why inflict it?” “But he’s only a barbarian slave,” spluttered Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, in retort at his admonishment from boys over three years younger and in front of so many other youngsters. “The principle’s the same,” Britannicus replied, “so I suggest that you find us all something else to play.” As a consequence, it was then Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus who suffered humiliation in front of many young patricians and not myself, as the birthday boy was forced to leave me alone and find a different pastime for everyone to indulge. It was the chubby 9 year-old’s clearly annoyed but nevertheless meek compliance to his younger guest’s instruction that immediately made me realize who the infant had to be. I looked at the likely future Princeps and smiled in happiness at my salvation from imminent humiliation, although I had recognized that Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus would probably reek revenge on me during a later visit to Caius Silius’ urban villa, assisted by his female allies, the householder’s daughters. Nevertheless, despite my concern, my smile broadened when it was sweetly reciprocated by the 5 year-old, whose lovely brown eyes looked straight into my own blue ones. I then remembered Apollinus’ declaration about Britannicus, when the infant had been very nice to him at our master’s great banquet. “The prince’s eventual accession to the purple,” my friend had suggested, “bodes well for everyone in the Empire!” I later made Gaius temporarily jealous when I advised my friend that, at that moment, I came to love Britannicus, although I then assuaged the youth’s concern by adding that my feeling was truly platonic. It was born out of immense regard for a boy who would one day surely become the greatest Emperor that Rome had ever known, if his early character was anything to go by. Gaius unintentionally put something of a damper on my aspiration for the Empire by saying, before giving me another kiss, “Let’s therefore hope that he lives that long!” This made me shiver at recall of the vivid expression of hatred towards the 5 year-old in the eyes of Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, as the older birthday boy was compelled to change his party plans. After all, the 9 year-old also had good familial connections that could lead to a future ambition to claim the purple. (Imperial palace, Rome, same time) ‘Ornatissima ecce colonia valentissimaque Viennensium quam; longo iam tempore Senatores huic curiae confert.’ (‘Here is the very honourable and powerful colony of the people of Vienne; how long it is already that it has been sending senators to this curia.’) - Emperor Claudius (Speech in the Senate, AD 48) Having secured the demise of Crassus Frugi, Messalina was now intent on the destruction of Decimus Valerius Asiaticus, currently one of Rome’s Consuls along with Junius Silanus, a position he had held 11 years previously under Tiberius. The patrician had originated from Vienne in Gallia Narbonensis and had been sent as a youth by his ambitious family to Rome to make a career. The move had worked because, by careful cultivation of first Antonia, who was Augustus’ niece, Gaius Caligula’s grandmother and Claudius’ mother, and then the last and present Emperors, he had gained great wealth and position. He had also been the first Narbonnais Gaul to be admitted to the Roman Senate.
Valerius Asiaticus was renowned for his like of athletics, having won prizes at the sport when young, and gardens, his urban villa possessing some of the most magnificent in Rome. Nevertheless, some barbed wits claimed that his tastes were more for handsome gymnasts in dense shrubbery. Valerius Asiaticus had actually been one of the principal conspirators in the assassination of Gaius Caligula and had been touted as a possible successor but this had not harmed his relationship with Claudius, whom he had accompanied to Britannia three years before the opening of my saga. However, it was probably because of his current closeness to the present Princeps that the Empress had chosen him next as a target for her attempts to ruin fatally, in her husband’s mind, the reputation of someone else who might aspire to be a future rival to Britannicus for the purple. Messalina was also known to covet Valerius Asiaticus’ urban villa, especially the residence’s resplendent gardens, created over 100 years earlier by Lucullus, the general who had eventually defeated the very dangerous threat to Roman ambitions in Asia, Mithridates, King of Pontus. These gardens, laid out in terraces, are located on the southern spur of Rome’s ‘Collis Hortulorum’, or ‘Garden Hill’, which overlooks the Campus Martius. Messalina was cunningly slowly drip feeding Claudius untrue tales of Valerius Asiaticus’ supposed wicked and potentially treacherous behaviour. On this occasion, it was a lie about the Consul’s alleged bad mouthing of the Emperor to other Senators. However, the Empress knew better than to be over-the-top with her accusations, covering herself against her husband double-checking by saying that the imputation was “Just something I’ve heard!” The 23 year-old woman was happy to wait for the eventual denouement, which would be created mainly by the weight of many small but very sly and convincing false allegations. Meanwhile, having encouraged her husband to believe her by allowing him a rare exploration of her body, Mesallina rushed away from the scene of this unpleasantness to a more agreeable reunion in her own bedchamber. Here, after she had bathed and groomed away all signs of, for her, Claudius’ gross attentions, she waited impatiently for the now almost daily arrival of the ‘handsomest man in Rome’, my master, Caius Silius. (Domus of Palaemon, Rome, same time) ‘Omnia praeclara rara.’ (‘All excellent things are rare.’) - Cicero (‘De amicitia’) Axenius was petrified that Palaemon, who was by nature always careful of his possessions, might suspect him of stealing the precious goblet. After all, only the recent guests and the young slave had had the opportunity to secure the cup. Accordingly, the youth initially considered somehow trying to cover up the silver vessel's disappearance. However, this would not have been in accord with the 16 year-old’s own honest brave character. Axenius therefore confessed to the fact that the goblet was missing at the first opportunity, after his master had said his farewells to Petronius and Titus Vinius, politely personally guiding them to his front door. Tears again formed in the youth’s gorgeous blue eyes as he heard Palaemon’s response. However, they had been created not as a result of accusation but of reassurance from a man who perhaps now appreciated the youth’s personality better than the 16 year-old himself. The young Germanian’s lachrymose display was caused by delighted realization that the renowned teacher would truly never have suspected his slave for a moment of such a dishonest act. “Forget about the matter for now,” Palaemon suggested perceptively, “but please be extra observant if Titus Vinius ever comes calling again!” Shortly afterwards, happy giggles and laughter could be heard emerging from Palaemon’s private bathhouse, later followed by even more blatant sounds of pleasurable enjoyment. (Villa of Caius Silius, next day) ‘Saepe creat molles aspera spina rosas.’ (‘Often the prickly thorn produces tender roses.’) - Ovid “I don’t want you to see Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus again without my permission,” Caius Silius commanded of his daughters, “but suggest instead that you consider becoming better acquainted with Tiberius Claudius Britannicus. I know he’s only five but I believe that furthering our friendship with the Emperor’s closest family is more important than maintaining a relationship with that of Agippina.” “I also know from a very reliable source,” Caius Silius continued, “that the Empress dislikes both Agrippina and her son. It would therefore be unwise to retain any connection with them for the foreseeable future.” Sribonia was no fool and was also fed gossip by her intimate female slaves. She accordingly knew immediately the identity of the ‘source’, Messalina herself. However, she not only kept her silence over the matter but also took steps to obey her father. Sribonia suddenly cut off all contact with Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, which at first surprised and disappointed the boy until his mother told him that it was probably as a result of Messalina’s influence. Despite being only 9 years old, the chubby youngster had already experienced and learnt enough of Roman high society to be knowledgeable about the constant and often very dangerous political intriguing that went on, which included frequent changes in family alliances. He was also aware of the widespread rumours about Caius Silius’ association with the Empress. He therefore shrugged off the slight for now, putting it at the back of his mind where, like many others, he would keep it until the time and opportunity arose for vengeance. After all, he knew with certainty that he was destined for power and greatness. Meanwhile, Sribonia wondered whether she too was destined for greatness. For the 13 year-old, making friends with Britannicus suddenly did not seem too awful, as she knew that she was expected to be betrothed to someone soon. The girl was beginning to think that having the future Princeps as the groom-to-be would not be at all bad, even if he was currently only 5 years old, as she quite fancied herself as the next Empress. For Sribonia’s 14 year-old male slave, the unexpected non-appearance of Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus to extract revenge for what had happened at the birthday party was a very pleasant surprise. So too were the occasional visits to my master’s urban villa by new young guests, Britannicus and Titus Flavius Vespasianus. The boys’ appearance was congenial for all concerned, even apparently for Sribonia and Tullia who, having quickly appreciated their young guests’ gentle natures and outlooks, adapted themselves accordingly. The girls were always on their best behaviour during the visits, something that began to extend into their private lives. Miraculously, the 5 year-old males seemed to have greater influence on the outward characters of 13 and 11 year-old females than vice-versa. Both my bottom and pride gained immeasurably from the change during the months to follow. Such a happy alteration to my circumstances was commensurate in simultaneous growth in my admiration for Britannicus and his friend. Despite my status as a mere eunuch slave of barbarian extraction, the boys always treated me with great courtesy and consideration, conduct adopted by their female hosts. The 5 year-olds’ kindness was to give me much guilty grief later in life when I felt compelled to be brutally and longstandingly dishonest to Titus Flavius Vespasianus. Gaius subsequently suggested that my happy change in domestic fortune was proper reward for my bravery and selflessness in earlier returning to the service of Caius Silius’ daughters. I was of course pleased by such flattery and gave the delectable youth his own dividend for such remarks. I also at last began to recognize that other people and life in general were perhaps rightly due even greater nobility from me in future if I was truly to become worthy of the 16 year-old’s love and respect. From Gaius' example, I became infused with the idea that I should seek to do as much good in this world as I could, always putting others first. At the time, I tried not to disillusion myself, believing that my lowly menial status would mean that my efforts would be unnoticeable within the greater scope of history. However, as I now relate my own life almost sixty years later, I think, without wanting to sound too boastful, that I misjudged then what even very humble people can achieve, given appropriate help and luck. (Via Flamina, Rome, on the Ides of March in the 6th year of the reign of the Emperor Claudius [Dies Mercurii Id. Mart. DCCC A.V.C. or Wednesday, March 15th, AD 47]) ‘There was a certain soothsayer that had long before given Caesar warning to take heed of the Ides of March, for on that day he should be in great danger. The day having arrived, Caesar went to the Senate-house and spoke merrily to the soothsayer, saying “The Ides of March is come.” “So it is,” the soothsayer answered softly, “but yet is not past!”’ - Plutarch (‘Life of Julius Caesar’) Martius used to be the first month of the Roman year until Gaius Julius Caesar changed the calendar and gave Januarius that honour. Some suggest that he was told to beware the Ides of Martius for that reason, because the god after whom the month was named sought revenge for the slight. At this particular time, in the year DCCC A.V.C., the 800th anniversary of the foundation of Rome, the present Princeps had no need to beware the Ides. Claudius instead paid due respects to his distant ancestor, via a convoluted family line, in the resplendent temple of the Divine Julius in the Forum, on the 91st anniversary of the original Caesar’s murder, before returning to the Imperial palace on the nearby Palatine. Martius, of course, belongs to the warlike Mars, the god who personifies the protection of the state and the productivity of the community. The Festival of Mars, with the daily spectacle of the priests of the deity leaping and dancing through the streets of Rome, continues for almost the whole month. In Rome, days are designated to be dies comitalis, fastus, nefastus, endotercisus or nefastus publicus. ‘Dies comitalis’ is day on which citizens may vote on political or criminal matters and ‘dies fastus’ a day on which legal action is permitted, whereas ‘dies nefastus’ is a day on which no public voting or legal action may occur. An ‘endotercisus’ is a day that functions as dies fastus in the morning and dies comitalis in the afternoon. A ‘nefastus publicus’ is a day on which public religious festivals are celebrated. A ‘nundinae’, literally ‘nine days’, takes place, because of the inclusive counting of the Romans, every eighth day and is market day, although, just to confuse matters further, the precise sequence changes every year. The Ides of Martius is a ‘nefastus publicus’, not because it is the anniversary of Caesar’s death but because it is also the Festival of Anna Perenna, the goddess of the traditional new year. Depending on whom you speak to, the Romans give various explanations to this deity’s origin. For example, her name is derived from ‘annis’, or ‘year’, or she used to be a river nymph, ‘amnis perennis’, meaning ‘eternal stream’. Anna Perenna is also equated with being a moon goddess or being Anna, the sister of Dido, who was received in Latium by Aeneas. However, this Anna later drowned herself in the river Numicius after being told by Dido’s ghost that Aeneas’ wife, Lavinia, was jealous, posthumously becoming the goddess of the new year. Whatever her true origin, Anna Perenna is very popular because, in the historic class struggle between the patricians and plebeians, she was supposed to have chosen the side of the people. However, I have another reason for venerating the goddess’ festival. The Ides of Martius is a picnic day. The Romans set up tents and camps in the surrounding countryside, especially around the first milestone of the Via Flamina, the road that eventually leads across the Apennines to the port of Fanum in Umbria on the east coast of Italia and the Mare Adriaticum. Almost sixty years later, I still regard the initial occasion that I attended this event to be the most memorable, for not only was I in Gaius’ delightful company but also I met Axenius for the first time. The day before, the eve of the first full moon of the new year in the old tradition, when Mamurius, or the old Mars, was honoured, Gaius had taken me to the Campius Martius, or ‘Field of Mars’. There, I had been thrilled to watch chariot racing for the first time, during the second ‘Equirria’ festival of DCCC. I had also observed a man dressed in goatskins being ceremonially chased out of Rome in a rite of purification, symbolic of chasing out the old and bringing in the new. Neither of these spectacles, however, could match up to the magnificence of meeting Axenius for the first time on the following day. Gaius had arranged with the now very compliant Caius Silius to take me to observe as many of the Roman festivals as my duties permitted, promoting the idea that it would enhance my education. The youth had cited my speedy proficiency in verbal and written Latin as evidence of my intellect and had therefore suggested that continuing my learning would further enhance my future worth as a slave in my master’s service. I do not believe, however, that Caius Silius now cared what Gaius did with me, or how long I spent with the youth, as long as his retained ownership of me, and all that that entailed, was recognized and appreciated. After all, I represented my master’s only protection against certain revelations, potentially very damaging to his reputation. I am also sure that Caius Silius still planned terrible retribution against his blackmailers, plural because they now included Palaemon, and me if his conspiracy with Mesallina was successful. However, I was then unaware of his plans and was young enough, and so much in love, that I cared little for the future. My mind existed only in the present, infatuated in particular by the wondrous Gaius. I could now forgive the Romans much, including the loss of my manhood, because no people could be so bad if such a youth as Gaius was amongst their number. He collected me, as usual with the delightful Hylas in tow, early in the afternoon of the Ides of Martius. I had been engaged on not disagreeable menial tasks for Sribonia and Tullia during the morning and had been permitted the rest of the day off to be with my supposed educational mentor. The youth and his infant slave escorted me through Rome and up the Via Flamina to the main picnic sites, where he had arranged to meet up with Palaemon. It was a warm spring day, with hardly a cloud in the blue sky. At that moment, I felt that I could not have been happier. There had been other birthdays since that of Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus four months previously. Most pertinently for my history, Gaius, Hylas, Apollinus, Axenius and myself had all gained an extra year to our age. However, the four young slaves amongst this number were not sure on which precise days their anniversaries had fallen, knowing only that they had sometime done so by the change in seasons. I have mentioned previously that Palaemon was parsimonious towards the rich and greedy but not towards his charges, whether they were pupils or staff, or the needy. The point was emphasized on this day, for he had arranged for a number of canopies to be set up, under which a copious and delicious array of fine non-alcoholic drink and food had been laid on top of trellis tables. The majority was provided for some of the plebeian poor who could not afford their own picnics. Hired caterers encountered difficulty throughout the afternoon in ensuring that the largesse was fairly distributed to the hordes that came forward for shares. Meanwhile, under private canopies, Palaemon acted as host for his residential pupils, employees and slaves, all like me given the afternoon off. No guards were required to protect the fare provided by the famous and popular teacher for his students and staff, as the people had too much respect for the tutor to disturb this particular munificence. I am sure that this was not only as a result of his famous kind generosity but also because of his own very humble background. Gaius politely introduced me to Palaemon, whom I of course recognized from the banquet in Caius Silius’ urban villa at which I had first met my youthful lover. It was now that I first noticed the beautiful young Germanian, bigger and older than me but sporting similar fair features, who was standing at the renowned teacher’s side. There is something about a eunuch that allows one to recognize another immediately. I do not really know what this is. Perhaps, for a 17 year-old like Axenius, it was the smooth nature of his chin, obviously still not attended by the razor. Anyway, whatever it is, I instantly knew that the delightfully smiling young Germanian, to whom I was also now politely introduced by his master, an incongruity in itself in Roman society, was one of my kind. I additionally appreciated that the realization was mutual. Palaemon knew that I was a mere slave but you would not have thought so, as he now went out of his way to treat me like any other honoured guest. However, I quickly learnt that this was not out of personal favouritism towards Gaius or myself because, on this day in particular, he treated everyone, student, employee or slave, the same. “I’m glad to have the opportunity at last,” Palaemon declared, “to meet the young person who’s currently occupying much of my star pupil’s spare time.” I noticed Gaius, who was standing next to me, blush, a reaction clearly deliberately induced by his teacher as a tease. However, the man politely did not go too far in discomforting the youth, instead holding both Axenius and me gently by the shoulders and guiding us towards one of the tables, allowing my youthful lover to trail in our wake. “Axenius and I haven’t eaten as yet,” Palaemon continued, “as we were waiting for your arrival as the last of our guests. I’d like you to join us and tell us about yourself.” I looked behind at Gaius, who had recovered from his embarrassment, his face returning to its normal healthy hue and now exhibiting a broad grin at seeing how well I had been greeted by his teacher. He told me later that such a reception had not been unexpected, knowing the tutor’s character, but he was still pleased to observe it at first hand. After informally partaking of the magnificent repast, and chatting about myself fully, inhibitions having been disarmed by the pleasant interested company and gentle but probing questions from Palaemon in particular, I was eventually left alone with Axenius, whilst Gaius and his teacher politely circulated amongst the other guests. It was now that, taking my lead from the famous tutor’s expert probing of my background, that I encouraged the 17 year-old to tell me all about himself. It was the beginning of a lifelong friendship, for we immediately acquired a mutual close affinity towards each other, probably assisted by similar backgrounds in everything expect nationality. I had, after all, been the young Germanian’s successor in the household of Caius Silius. The pleasant conversation between Axenius and myself was eventually interrupted by two pretty, now 13 year-old boys, whom I immediately realized were Persius and Quintilianus. I had not met them previously but they were instantly recognizable from the descriptions Gaius had given me of his roommates at Palaemon’s domus for residential pupils. I presumed that they appreciated whom I was for similar reasons, plus the fact that I wore a highly distinctive scarlet tunic emblazoned with Caius Silius’ motif. I was soon satisfied that my assumption had been correct when Persius suggested, with a broad grin, “You must be Bicilus. We’ve heard everything about you!” He did so with a marked emphasis on the word ‘everything’ before then sharing a little mischievous giggle with Quintilianus. However, their teasing was both noticeably without malice and short lived because they now went on to indulge Axenius and me in polite conversation, never once hinting that we were what we were, slaves of much meaner status compared to their free and high standing. It seemed that Palaemon’s liberal social attitudes had spread not just to Gaius but to at least some of his other pupils too. Gaius was typically not subsequently jealous of the friendship between Axenius and me, which also brought me nearer to Palaemon. My youthful lover instead seemed to take great pleasure in the development of the relationship, perhaps mistakenly reassured that intimacies between eunuchs could not be sexual but, knowing him, probably actually more to do with possessing an inherent trust that I would not cheat on him. It was a faith that I did not dishonour, for the closeness between the young Germanian and me has always remained truly platonic. Nevertheless, it is an association that I shall treasure to my grave. You can therefore see, reader, why the Ides of Martius will always be dear to me. (A school of gladiators, Rome, same time) ‘Numquam magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit.’ (‘There has never been a great spirit without a touch of insanity.’) - Seneca the Younger (‘De Tranquillitate Animis’) Didius, as he now always did, seethed with rage. However, the only outward display of his fury at his penectomy was the almost animal-like ferocity he introduced to combat. It was therefore fortunate for his opponents that the young man, recently discharged from the legions because of the terrible war wound inflicted in Britannia, was only practising. Didius was training to be a retiarius, one of the more vulnerable gladiators because they possessed little armour, wearing only simple light tunics in which they would use nets to try to trap their opponents in order to kill them with tridents. However, the young man now cared little for his personal welfare. He would have preferred, in his genitally disabled state, to have gained glorious death in battle, in return for which his impoverished family back in Italia would have received a small but nevertheless useful pension. Unfortunately, this had been denied the 20 year-old by his centurion and other commanding officers, who had rightly perceived some potentially dangerous derangement in his subsequent outlook on life. Didius had therefore returned to Rome determined to use his military skills, not particularly outstanding previously, to become a gladiator, which undoubtedly would prove to be a quick way to either death, and release from his torment, or fortune. He was one of the few free men at the gladiator school, which happened to be partly owned by Caius Silius. The 20 year-old was currently preparing for his debut performance. This would take place in Rome’s Campus Martius and was scheduled to take place towards the end of Maius, when the Emperor Claudius would be celebrating Rome’s 800th birthday by hosting, over several days, ‘Ludi Saeculares’, or ‘Secular Games’, customarily held only every century, or ‘saeculum’. I was actually to watch Didius’ debut, although not at the behest of my master who, by partly sponsoring the young man’s training, would receive a share of any honour and other rewards accrued by the 20 year-old for any successes. Instead, it was Gaius who took me to my first gladiatorial games. However, before that came about, Axenius had asked me to accompany him to another bloody spectacle. (The ‘House of Cybele’, plebeian quarter, Rome, same time) ‘Illi robur et aes triplex circa pectus erat, qui fragilem truci commisit pelago ratem primus.’ (‘As hard as oak and three times bronze was the heart of him who first committed a fragile vessel to the keeping of wild waves.’) - Horace The young black, now well-used, male prostitute was once again crying profusely. He had found the four months, or to him a seeming eternity, in the ‘House of Cybele’ to be worse than his imaginings of the cruelest underworld. However, his owners, and particularly his mistress, had driven him on remorselessly to earn more profits. Nigerina had proven very popular, the slight, misguiding but very attractive effeminacy in his face stimulating much custom. Many of the clients had been very unpleasant, if not utterly awful and cruel, and sobbing was a frequent consequence of recent service. The last patron had been particularly nasty, both in terms of physical and mental abuse. Nigerina was not looking forward to receiving any more patrons, in the small spartan bedroom that comprised his principal place of work. However, the now 17 year-old knew that he had both to service men for many more hours on this day and to dry his tears in readiness to do so. The youth had just about achieved the latter aim, as well as redress in his, for him, very demeaning feminine garb, when the next customer arrived. Nigerina tried to smile sweetly and seductively at the man before he asked what the client precisely desired. “I want only to talk,” announced Cephas. (Antiocheia, the Roman Imperial Colony of Pisidea in Asia Minor, same time) ‘Dare to look up to God and say “Make use of me for the future as Thou wilt. I am of the same mind. I am one with Thee. I refuse nothing which seems good to Thee. Lead me whither Thou wilt. Clothe me in whatever dress Thou wilt."’ - Epictetus Paul had reluctantly decided to defer his intended missionary for another year. Although the environment of Antiocheia had been good for his health, he and others still did not consider him well enough to leave on the travels that he now earnestly desired to make. Paul therefore prayed to his God that he would be able to pursue his mission in the following year. Meanwhile, he would continue his efforts to convert as many as possible of the local population of Antiocheia to the true faith.
(Via Flamina, Rome, same time) ‘Wherefore great mother of gods, and mother of beasts, And parent of man hath she alone been named. Her hymned the old and learned bards of Greece.’ - Lucretius (‘On the Nature of Things’)
Once the very friendly Persius and Quintilianus had finally allowed us the opportunity, Axenius confided privately in me that one of his present passions was a devotion to Cybele. He asked me whether I might be interested in observing some of the goddess’ ceremonies taking place on that very day, the Ides of Martius. I replied positively and later, in the compliant company of Gaius and Hylas, my new friend took me to see the procession of the gallae reed-bearers, or ‘canna intrat’, to their temple on the Palatine. We also watched some of the musical plays commemorating the story of Attis. The next day, the ‘Nesteia’, a 9-day abstinence from bread and wine, fish and fowl, accompanied by meditation on the Great Mother’s grief for Attis, would begin for the priesthood, most of whom stayed between festivals in their sanctuary on the Vatican. This location is named after the many ‘vaticinari’ or ‘fortunetellers’ to be found there. Axenius later enquired whether I would like to see more of Cybele’s festivals. By now, I was quite intrigued, perhaps because the goddess’ priesthood primarily comprised fellow eunuchs who appeared to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. None seemed to be as inhibited as my new friend claimed to have been in publicly disporting himself as a female. However, I had to advise the young Germanian that I would only be allowed by Caius Silius to attend if Gaius secured my release. As it turned out, because of household duties, I could not observe the ‘abor intrat’, or ‘procession of the (sacred) tree’, a pine adorned with magenta ribbons, violets and images of Cybele and Attis, or the rituals of ‘dies maeroris’, respectively 7 and 8 days later. The latter is a day of mourning for the fallen sun-child. It comprises much wailing and beating of tambourines and includes a great procession celebrating Attis, which is accompanied by the regal music of trumpets and circumambulates the goddess’ temple. Instead, I was to be present on the ‘dies sanguinis’, or ‘day of blood’, 9 days later, which commemorates the emasculation and death of Attis beneath the pine tree. This is when new gallae are initiated into the mysteries of Cybele, indulging in the transforming rite of personal castration. The fasting of the ‘Nesteia’ then ends at the ‘mesonyctium’, or ‘midnight vigil’, when the Archigallus declares to the freshly self-emasculated new priests “Be of good heart, you novices, because the god is redeemed! Deliverance from distress will also come for us!” (To be continued in chapter XIV – ‘Ululations’)
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