A N.I.C.E. Boy, Part 7

New Approach to a Difficult Problem

New York Journal, October 16th 2004

A deserted barn outside Anniston, Alabama, was the location for the first press

conference with the newly appointed directors of the National Institute for

Sexual Health. NISH was created by the Natural Intervention to Curb Evil Act

that was passed by the House and Senate and sighed into law by President Denton

only three weeks ago as part of the Administration's plan to crack down on

pedophiles. The location and time of the announcement holds particular

significance for the barn was the site of the recent horrendous murder of eleven

young boys, and it was one year to the day after the last body was exhumed.

Speaking on behalf of the Tribunal that will be responsible for operating NISH,

Martin Eckleston announced that a new far-reaching approach has been taken to

eliminate the distasteful problem of pedophilia. "Throughout history, pedophilia

has been the most repulsive crime against society. It is evil, an evil that is

happening ever day. Wherever you look there are children being sexually abused.

There is a pedophile under every rock. The people of this great nation have

decided that something must be done to bring this plague of depravity and

perversion to an end," Eckleston said in his introduction. "NISH has that

responsibility. Working together, we can eradicate pedophiles and make the world

a better place."

Scientific discoveries as recent as a year or two ago have opened the door to

using genetic techniques to prevent pedophiles from attacking children. The da

Vinci gene, proven to be the primary cause of the type of pedophilia that

attracts men to young boys, can now be easily identified. The da Vinci gene is

carried on the male's 23rd chromosome and can be revealed using a simple protein

staining technique. Researchers are working towards a cure by gene therapy that

can be applied to the fetus, but until that is achieved, Eckleston and his

associates are leading the country in taking preventative steps. NISH has been

operating unofficially since the end of July of this year, and have already

developed treatment options and a marketing program to encourage parents of

affected boys and the boys themselves to do their part in eliminating

pedophilia.

"The problem is that as many as 140,000 males in the U.S. carry the gene in

their DNA," said Doctor Wright, also a member of the NISH Tribunal and a leading

expert in behavior modification. "Even if we can eliminate the gene before a

baby is born, or in the future when we can use gene therapy to correct nature's

mistakes, it will be many generations, perhaps as long as a hundred years from

now before the evil is completely eliminated, and then only if everyone

cooperates. This still leaves a lot of pedophiles on the streets where our

children play. We need to take aggressive, forward thinking steps today in order

to make it safe for our boys and girls to go to play."

"The first step is to identify those men and boys who carry the da Vinci gene,"

Eckleston said. "We are working with the newly created National Genetic Database

to do that as quickly as possible. In so far as it is possible, the information

will be keep confidential. However, since pedophiles pose such an enormous risk,

it is essential than those people who are in situations where children are

found, be identified immediately and the information made publicly available. It

goes without saying that we will do everything we possibly can to help these

unfortunate people, both men and boys, but the safety of our children comes

first. The fact is that there is only one effective treatment for pedophiles. We

must permanently remove their ability to have sex and prevent them from passing

the gene on to future generations. Historically, sterilization has been achieved

by surgical means, but we are hopeful that today's technology will allow us to

offer other equally effective methods that are equally effective. All

pedophiles, both young and old, should be strongly encouraged to avail

themselves of these methods before they cause harm to our children."

The NICE Act established opportunities for treatment and provided incentives for

males of all ages to voluntarily undergo permanent emasculation. Emasculation

removes the ability to reproduce and effectively controls the libido. If it is

done to boys prior to puberty it also eliminates the ability to engage in any

injurious sexual activity such as might occur during penetration since the

genitals will not attain adult size. One of the most important benefits to

pedophiles if they are registered and treated will be that the so called `Two

Strikes' Law that came into effect in 2002 will not apply to them. The Two

Strikes Law was passed by Congress to prevent repeat sexual offenders from

receiving light sentences. With two convictions for sexual offenses against

children, a pedophile automatically receives life imprisonment. Once treated in

accordance with NISH guidelines, a pedophile who continues to abuse children

will be remanded for counseling and provided with the opportunity for aversion

therapy.

"The fact is that we are seeing younger offenders than ever before," Eckleston

said. "Some pedophiles aren't even in their teens. They are downloading

pornography from the Internet, meeting in chat-rooms, and then going out and

raping their little brothers and sisters. These kids are getting away with

murder because most of them are too young to be charged as adults. Putting them

in prison for life when they are older is not the answer. NICE gives some of

them, the lucky ones you might say, a way out. When you think about it, losing

one's testicles is a small price to pay for one's freedom."

While emasculation might appear to be severe to some people, "there is no other

way of eliminating the problem," said Wright. "I wish there was. It would be

nice if we could give a pedophile an injection and he would be cured forever.

However, that simply is not possible. As long as the gene is passed on from

father to son, all children are at risk. With the government targeting

pedophiles for prosecution, this is the desirable way to go. It's quick and

effective, with very few health consequences that supplementary drugs cannot

prevent."

When asked whether the proposed treatment was extreme and analogous to what was

done to Jews and Gypsies in Nazi Germany, Eckleston said, "I agree that some

people might say it's extreme, but extreme measures are called for when you are

dealing with an evil like pedophilia. I have made hunting down pedophiles my

life's work. I know these people, I know the terrible harm they do to our

children. I know what needs to be done and I am ready to do it. This evil is

going to take many years to stop. It's not like we're going to be able to

sterilize every da Vinci male during the next year or two, not when there are

estimated to be as many as 140,000 of them. Initially, we are targeting those

males who have the gene as a dominant trait since they pose the greatest threat

but we will be offering treatment to all males who have the gene. Because da

Vinci boys who have not reached puberty can realize the greatest benefits from

treatment, they will receive our immediate attention."

Research has shown that about one percent of males carry the gene, but for most

of them the gene is recessive, triggering very few, if any other genes on the

chromosome at the time of conception. The gene is dominant in about ten percent

of cases. "When the da Vinci gene is dominant, pedophilia is 100 percent

guaranteed," Dr. Wright said without further elaboration. Research has shown

that the dominant gene also causes exceptionally high intelligence and

creativity. The gene's name was derived from Leonardo da Vinci, the brilliant

Renaissance artist, scientist, and inventor, who was also a pedophile.

"Eliminating the gene when it is dominant in such a small number of cases will

rapidly remove it from the gene pool. It won't take more than a few generations

and the problem will be gone for good," Wright said. "It's true that we're

asking these boys to make a sacrifice, but it's really for their own good."

Of the three to four thousand da Vinci boys who are born each year in the U.S.,

only a few hundred will have a dominant gene, however it is expected that

treatment will be made available to all da Vinci boys regardless of whether the

gene is dominant or not since it is the only way to completely eradicate

pedophilia.

Chapter 7. Lane's Bookstop, Liberty Street, Champain. October 21st, 2004

The boy who walked up the half-dozen steps and entered Lane's Bookstop, tilted

his head in suddenly aroused curiosity even before the glass door closed behind

him. He was still hungry to learn, still consumed by a tireless need to

understand, still filled with a boy's wonder as he looked around. Few things

ever held his attention for more than a few seconds, yet he took everything in

with startling familiarity. The feeling of being there before, of being

comfortable in that scholarly place was very strong. What had seemed shabby and

untidy from outside, was replete with haphazard stacks of books, well-worn

leather armchairs placed around a large fireplace, a Persian rug that was

threadbare in spots. The smell, faintly musty from old books was soon put aside

in favor of coffee.

"Can I help you find something?"

The boy jumped at the voice that seemed to have come out of nowhere. He spun

around, quickly glancing down the nearest aisle of shelves, then back to the

armchairs without seeing anyone. He abruptly took a step backwards, towards the

door behind him. Only then did he look up the staircase. Close to the top of a

long run of polished wood stairs, he saw feet, actually shoes, large brown suede

shoes. Obeying his instinctive inquisitiveness, he crouched down so that his

view was not obscured. There was a man standing high on the stairs in the dim

light that was afforded by the fanlight over the front door. The boy stood up

quickly, shaking his head.

"No. No, I'm just, er, I'm browsing I guess. If that's okay?"

The man nodded. "Browse away, young bookworm. I'm afraid I don't have much of a

kid's section."

He sounded apologetic. There was no reason why there should have been a

children's section in the store. Most of the store's customers were professors

who preferred to buy rather than borrow their books from the library, or one of

those unusual college students who enjoyed reading beyond the handouts and

textbooks assigned in class and wanted books of their own.

The man began to descend the stairs, taking his time almost as if he realized

that by moving faster he might scare away his only customer of the afternoon.

Some of the stairs creaked, reassuring the boy that at least the man was not an

apparition.

He smiled shyly. "I'm not looking for kid's books."

"Oh? You're hiding from bullies, perhaps? I'm not even certain I have a copy of

Never- Ending Story."

That prompted the boy to quickly survey the room again. His smile widened for

there were some similarities in what he saw to what he remembered of the story.

"No, not that? A customer, at last!" the man said with exaggerated enthusiasm.

"Welcome to my library."

The boy hesitated, waiting until the man reached the bottom of the stairs. They

regarded each other.

"Do you work here?"

"Actually, I'm Lane, of Lane's Bookstop," Lane explained.

"Oh!.... Shouldn't it be Bookshop?"

Lane slapped the side of his head. "I knew it. They told me there was a mistake

when I had the sign made. Bookshop. Bookstop. How could I be so dumb? Who might

you be? Unless you'd prefer I called you `bookworm'?"

The boy giggled. "I'm Daniele Webster."

"I love your dictionary," Lane jested.

"It's Daniele, not Daniel," the boy laughingly corrected. "I have an extra `e'

in my name."

"Oh! Then you don't have a dictionary named after you? Pity."

Daniele laughed again. "Do you treat all your customers like this?"

"Only the ones who laugh at my jokes." Lane winked. "Seriously, may I help you

find something, Mr. Webster?"

Quickly, Daniele shook his heads. "I'm browsing, remember?"

Lane gestured to the rows of shelves behind him. "Then you'll find the sciences

over there. If you're interested, I have a good collection in medical books that

more or less came with the store. Sciences goes all the way to the back by the

way. You'll find each row is identified with what's in it. Then comes the

humanities, only you'll have to go through there," he added as he pointed to an

arched doorway that opened onto another long aisle of book shelves. There's many

more upstairs. Mostly arts. If you're looking for fiction, you're in the wrong

place."

Daniele nodded thoughtfully. "If I wanted something in psychology,... it would

be in humanities,... or sciences?"

"Ah, an interesting question, and quite a complex situation to be in," Lane

mused as he started to lead the way down the aisle. "I had something of a

dilemma when I was arranging the store." He paused and turned to look at

Daniele. "Now, there are some people would say psychology is a humanity. And

there are those who would put it in science, but they're probably confusing it

with psychiatry. Of course, sometimes it might even be considered an art form in

itself."

Daniele looked at him with growing amusement, yet thinking he would better off

if he browsed the aisles until he found what he was looking for. The last thing

he wanted was for the man to ask him what in particular he was looking for. He

was unsure of what he would do if he actually found the book he wanted.

Lane stopped in front of a long row of tall shelves. "Psych is down there," he

explained. "About halfway."

"So it's a science then," Daniele observed smugly. "I thought so."

"Well, it is in my library," Lane joked. "Actually, there are some more books in

humanities that might be called psychology, but they are more about sociology

and culture."

"Like what?"

"Oh, like alternative lifestyles,....homosexuality,.... That sort of thing,"

Lane replied.

Daniele blanched as a sudden shiver ran through him. That word despised by every

boy in the fifth grade! Quickly, he looked down to stare at his scuffed

sneakers.

"If you don't find what you're looking for, just come and find me," Lane offered

gratuitously. "I'll be up front catching up on my reading. That's the only

reason to own a bookstore."

"Huh?"

"I get to read all the books for free."

"But you could do that at a library," Daniele suggested.

"Hm. I never thought of that," Lane remarked. "You mean I could have bought an

ice- cream store instead of this?"

Daniele laughed again, shaking his head in pretended disbelief. He headed off

down the narrow passageway that was left between two walls of books, scanning

the rows as he went.

"I found it," he called over his shoulder.

He caught of glimpse of the proprietor as he moved towards the front of the

store. He quickly discovered that the psychology section occupied most of one

side of the aisle. All of the books were used and very few of the had dust

jackets. In a lot of cases he had to get close to see the titles and authors'

names. For a few minutes he began to think that there was very little

organization. Most of the books were not arranged by alphabetical order, or

rather they had been arranged that way but over time the books had been replaced

in the wrong locations. There was a section, perhaps forty or fifty books on

child psychology. He went through them slowly, pulling some out of their

assigned slots to look inside. The table of contents offered little information,

or at least not the information that he was looking for. One book was titled

`The Sexuality of Children: Birth to Adolescence'. His hand trembled as he

extracted it from amongst its companion volumes. He licked his lips, not daring

to open it until he made certain that no one could see what he was looking at.

He listened, hearing the proprietor moving around at the front of the store. In

his serious world, the man seemed to have a joke for everything.

"Finding what you want?"

"Uh, yeah,..." Daniele muttered before he realized that the man probably could

not hear him. "Yes! I'm fine. Thank you," he called out in a louder voice.

"No need to shout," Lane shouted back. "You wouldn't do that in a library would

you?"

Daniele laughed. "IT'S NOT A LIBRARY! It's a bookshop."

"That's bookstop by the way. With a 'T', not an 'H', I'll thank you to

remember."

Silence descended again after the laughter ended. Daniele's hand shook as he

lifted back the cover and the first few pages until he found the table of

contents. Despite the promising title, there was little on the page to suggest

it contained any of the information he wanted.

"Damn," he swore to himself.

He turned the book over and opened it at the index. He began by looking for `B',

then following the list scanning for 'boy', but under that generic subject there

was nothing even remotely close to what he wanted. Some time ago he had reasoned

that being sexually attracted to boys was the same thing as being gay. He looked

at `G' just to be certain. There was nothing under 'gay'. Without little hope he

then turned on to `H'. This time, there were a dozen references under

`homosexuality'. Hurriedly, Daniele began to look for the first one, page 105.

He kept his finger inserted between the pages of the index to mark the place. He

started skimming the lines of text for the right words. 'Boy', 'boys', anything

to do with boys, but especially before puberty. His heart pounded in his narrow

chest. His face when flushed when he had finished the two paragraphs at the

bottom of page 105. Whoever had written those two paragraphs about innocent sex

play between boys, could have written it about him and Grey. The book was clear

on one thing, child sex play had no relationship to future sexual orientation.

In fact, according to the author, i was not uncommon for boys to engage in sex

play with their friends. It did little to reassure him. He remembered being

frightened and excited at the same time, recollecting that the other boy's body

was surely the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He was barely able to return to the index to find the next reference. It was ten

pages further on and it made a brief recommendation about dealing with

allegations of sex abuse. He went to the next reference, finding it of even less

use in explaining his quandary. One more fruitless yet franticly read paragraph

convinced him that he had the wrong book. The rest of the books in the `Child

Sexuality' section were even less informative.

And so it went as he slowly moved along the aisle to find a few rows dedicated

to homosexuality. He worked from book to book, not missing a single title. He

was very aware that the proprietor might return at any moment, yet the threat of

discovery seemed to add to his excitement. There was something delightfully

illicit about looking at the books. Some of the titles, while innocuous, were

intensely thrilling in their implications to a ten-year-old boy, but in a

perverse way because under ordinary circumstances they were restricted to adult

readers. Finally, Daniele had the chance to understand something that every

other boy found abhorrent.

He had so many questions, but one question was foremost. Why did he find other

boys, young boys in particular, so,.... interesting? He also had questions about

what he felt inside, about why he was so afraid, whether being attracted to boys

meant that he would be attracted to men when he was older. He read very quickly,

moving from the contents to the sections that looked the most promising. The

only problem was that none of the books he looked at had anything to do with

what he wanted to know. Most of the books were scholarly, filled with charts and

graphs, and copious footnotes as befitted scientific publications. He rejected

one after the other in growing frustration that was tormented by his

anticipation of finding the mother lode among the books that were left. There

was so much that he had to learn. There was no one he could ask, or cared to

ask, or trusted enough to know what was on his mind. At least he had found some

answers to other questions and what he was discovering as he hastily turned the

pages filled him with excitement.

And so it was that Lane found him, so deep in his thoughts that he was unaware

of the man's approach. Indeed, Lane even coughed, not once but twice to

communicate his presence to the unwary boy. He knew that small section, the

middle three rows of aisle ten was popular among some boys, but they had always

been older. It was the only reason why young teenagers came into the store. It

certainly wasn't because they derived any great pleasure from books or reading.

They came to satisfy their prurient needs.

He coughed again when he was only a few paces away. This time Daniele looked up,

his expression startled. The book, a thick tome with a white cover, dropped from

his hand and clattered to the dusty floor. Immediately, Daniele bent to pick it

up, noticing as he did so that the cover had separated from the pages and was

hanging by a few white threads.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled awkwardly. "Really. I didn't mean to drop it."

Suddenly, he realized that the black-printed title was facing outward, that the

man could, would see it if he happened to glance at it.

"Actually, it's my fault," Lane interjected. "I'm sorry I disturbed you. I came

to see if you needed help finding what you want."

He managed to restrain a smirk when he recognized the book. `The Joy of Gay

Sex,' a first or second edition, although it had little additional value because

of that. Millions were printed and most of them were still around. It had been

part of the homosexual revolution of the late 1970s. It was a popular browsing

book, seldom purchased because it was embarrassing to carry it to the front

counter. How often had other boys looked at the same drawings and tried to learn

from pictures what experience and proper sex education denied to them?

Daniele slowly moved his hand back, endeavoring to conceal the title.

"It's okay. Uh, I was just browsing," he added hastily.

"Found anything interesting to read?" Lane asked.

Even as the words came from his mouth he tried to stop himself, but to no avail.

Just looking at the boy took away his good sense. He was not at all blond-headed

like the boys Lane had always preferred. He was handsome to a fault, striking in

every way. It was as if every human feature that could be considered beautiful

had been concentrated in a single person. His eyes were dark and intense, and

above all, reflected a deep intelligence. What bare skin Lane could see, was

absolutely flawless, so sleek smooth that he thought first of a newborn baby. It

was without even the tiniest hair, as if that alone could spoil perfection. He

was naturally almond-colored, but he was also delightfully tanned, not bronzed

like some sun-worshipping boy-god, but with the hue of burnished and aged gold,

and equally precious to his silent admirer.

Daniele shook his head abruptly, wishing that the man would stop looking at him,

go away and leave him in peace. That way he could dispose of the book and effect

a quick departure from the shop. The last thing he wanted to do was talk, not to

this man, not to anyone. He hated the thoughts that were increasingly in his

mind. Even worse was the fact that he could not stop himself from staring at

every young boy who crossed his path. There was a word to describe people like

himself and he sickened whenever he thought of it.

"I'm er,.... I guess I'm still looking," he replied nervously.

Lane nodded reassuringly. "That one's in the wrong section, I believe," he

observed.

The boy swallowed, his face glowing. Momentarily, Lane tried to avert his eyes,

but not to save the boy from guilt. He had been staring, feasting his eyes with

what could only be called shameful satisfaction for only gay boys looked at that

book. How many times had he promised himself that he would never succumb again.

He had one strike against him by pleading guilty and accepting a suspended

sentence for his punishment. But another mistake, just one more strike, and he

would spend the rest of his life in prison. He turned and endeavored to examine

some nearby titles as he tried to quell his rising excitement. It was always the

same when he was confronted by a desirable boy. He had difficulty in controlling

his actions.

"Huh?"

"It's supposed to be in the humanities area," Lane muttered as he turned back.

"But it's one of those books that does tend to move about a lot."

Awkwardly, Daniele glanced down at the book in his hand. His hand shook, his

fingers clenching the book so tightly that his knuckles were white. He could no

longer conceal what was obvious to both of them.

"Ah,.... I,... I'm sorry,...."

Lane was startled by the boy's fearful voice, so close to tears. The last thing

he wanted was for the boy to be ashamed.

"Don't worry about the cover, bookworm. Those old paperbacks fall apart all the

time. A bit of glue will fix it right up," Lane said. "If you've finished with

it, I'll fix it now," he suggested.

Daniele reddened even more. How could he possibly hand the book over knowing

what was inside? The last drawing he had looked at had showed, in shocking hand

rendering with minimal coloring, the intimate details of anal sex. For the first

time, Daniele realized that a man's penis could go almost halfway inside another

man's anus. He knew they were men because they weren't boys. They had hair, a

lot of hair, hair everywhere, so the picture really had not excited him.

However, suddenly a lot of things made a lot more sense. There was a reason why

he found other boys' bottoms so enticing.

"Don't be embarrassed,.... It's Daniele right?" Lane said in a heartening voice.

He hesitated as the boy's face became a shade redder. Crimson. Perhaps it would

be better if he left the boy alone. All he was achieving by his presence was

humiliating the boy. Daniele shifted his stance almost as if he was preparing to

bolt. He had never been so ashamed.

"I expect a lot of boys have looked at that book over the years," Lane

continued. "That's probably why it's so worn that the cover fell off," he added,

trying to be funny but without much success.

Of course, the boy had to be gay, or beginning to feel urges that disturbed him

enough to want to find out more. There was no other reason why he would be

looking at the book. Yet, it was inconceivable that such a young boy would be

sexually attracted to anyone, male or female. Lane put the thought aside until

the boy's nervousness left no room for doubt. Neither of them spoke for a long

time.

"Uh,..." Daniele swallowed. His throat was very dry.

"You can take it with you, if you want," Lane offered generously.

"You m-m-mean buy it?" Daniele asked guiltily. He had never stammered until

then.

"Of course you can buy it if you wanted. I am in the business of selling books,

although I don't sell very many. Or you could just borrow it too," Lane offered

"You'd let me do that?"

"Yes." He smiled slightly, hopefully reassuringly. The boy was as scared as a

rabbit. "I would have liked the opportunity to read a book like that when I was

your age.' Lane paused. Had he spoken too openly, even if he was only being

honest? "However, I would have been worried sick about my parents finding it,"

he added quickly.

After a moment's thought, Daniele nodded awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess so."

Lane stepped back, giving the boy more space. He glanced over his shoulder. As

far as he knew the store was empty. "Or you could read it here standing up,...

if you liked."

"I kinda of was," Daniele admitted with a weak smile.

"You wouldn't be the first boy to do so. Sometimes I think of this place as a

library more than a shop," Lane reflected. "You know what a library really is?"

he asked absently.

Daniele shrugged dismissively. "A place to keep books."

"Well, of course it is. But it's more than that. If you were trying to sound

erudite, well, sophisticated, you might say,..." he explained.

"I know what erudite means," Daniele interjected blandly.

"I expect you do. Anyway, you might say also that it's a place to store

information or to record knowledge, but it's more than that. I like to think of

a library as a place to keep our ideas. All sorts of ideas. Mostly we keep the

ideas that we all agree on, but not always because there some ideas, perhaps

only a few that most people disagree about," Lane expounded.

Daniele considered that. "But they are still worth keeping as ideas because to

someone they might be important. If not now then maybe in the future," he added.

"That's very true. See, it's the different ideas that are really important."

Daniele nodded uncertainly. "Why?"

"Well, if we only had the ideas that everyone liked, it would be a very tedious

world. I think it's the different ideas that allow society to evolve."

Although he preferred the man when he was being funny, Daniele liked being

talked to as an equal. It did not happen very often. Mostly, people talked to

him as a kid, as a ten-year-old boy who had no opinions of his own. They used

words that ten-year-old boys would know, and they always wanted to talk about

baseball or football. He resented that he was categorized as a dumb kid. Yet,

this man was talking with him like he wasn't a kid. In fact, he even agreed with

what the man had just said. How often had he found himself in disagreement with

the people around him because his ideas were different? He saw a different world

compared to his parents, his brother, his teachers, the other kids at school.

"There's a fire up front,... I don't mean the place is on fire."

Daniele laughed with relief.

"I've always found a fire and a comfortable chair to be very conducive to

reading," Lane offered sincerely.

The boy glanced at him uneasily, feeling the weight of the book in his hand.

there was nothing he would like to do more than read it. He was being offered

the opportunity to spend time studying it until his questions were answered.

"And I promise I won't bother you if you won't bother me," Lane offered quietly.

He backed away, making one final eye contact with the boy, yet not in a

threatening way. It was as if the man was signaling that he could be trusted,

that he understood, that he could help solve the problems of Daniele's world.

With that silent shared gaze, Daniele wavered. There was so much he needed to

learn. Before he could answer the man departed, walking back to the front of the

store, his shoes clicking on the wood floor. After a minute of deliberation that

left him more confused than ever, Daniele followed with the book.

"Take a seat and put your feet up," Lane suggested with a broad gesture to the

other chair that was adjacent to the fireplace.

He had stirred the embers and added a log which was smoldering in the heat.

Daniele moved towards the chair and nervously eased down. It was comfortable,

soft and cocoon-like as he sank into its leather embrace.

"Like I said, there's nothing like a good book, a comfy seat, and a fire," Lane

observed. "You're probably too young for a glass of brandy. Make yourself

comfortable and don't mind me, Bookworm," he added.

Daniele smiled slightly and curled up in the seat after making sure that his

shoes were well away from the leather. He cautiously opened the book again. It

parted at the page he had been looking at. He shivered, feeling a thrill surge

through him. It was strange looking at the drawing. It did not seem possible

that an anus could open far enough. It looked as if the man's penis was stuck

halfway, unable to go in further, unable to withdraw. Absently, he licked his

lips. Compared to his little penis, the man's organ was enormous. It looked more

like a wooden stake than human flesh. Yet, there it was in all its masculine

power, halfway inside another man's bottom. The idea was very different to

anything he had ever known and it excited him beyond his wildest imagination.

Feeling less threatened, he began to read. The section was titled, `Losing your

Virginity'. His eyes followed the lines of words. His mind tried to make sense

of the words. It was all too implausible. Why would someone want to do that? To

put a huge stake inside his butt? It would have to be very painful, yet the

words suggested otherwise. There were instructions on how to loosen the muscle,

how one needed to be patient, why it was important to be very careful. He turned

the page, his eyes literally glued to the book for in his mind he had replaced

the men with boys and he was one of them, the one behind. He reasoned that it

would be even easier with another boy because his penis was so much smaller.

He began to create fantasies as he continued to turn the pages, inventing boys

who had a remarkable similarity to his friends at school. But always he thought

of Grey and that wrinkled dot between the little boy's buttocks. So tiny, yet so

powerful that it gripped his finger like a vise and would not let go. he

remembered how Grey had seemed to struggle, then said that it felt better when

his finger was deeper inside. He wondered how his penis would feel if it had

gone inside. It was certainly possible because his finger and penis were about

the same size.

"Is everything okay?"

Daniele sat up again. Suddenly, he realized that it was much darker outside and

he was close to the end of the book. How long had he been reading? An hour?

Longer? The fire had died down again. He remembered that it had been blazing for

a long while as Mr. Lane fed it a steady supply of logs.

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm doing fine."

"Good. You're not going to be late getting home, are you? It's nearly dark

outside."

On cue, Daniele yawned. "I guess I'd better go."

He rose and stretched his legs, then realized that there was a small yet

noticeable bump in the front of his jeans. Without thinking, he attempted to

cover it with his hand, then with the book, but Lane turned away. He used the

refilling of his coffee cup as a pretext for standing up. Halfway across the

room to the sales counter area, he turned and watched Daniele's self conscious

efforts to hide that part of his body. Lane smiled and shrugged as if an

erection was an everyday occurrence.

"It looks like there's nothing wrong with your blood pressure, bookworm."

"Huh?" Daniele shuffled his feet and risked a downwards glance to confirm what

he already knew.

"Every boy gets them," Lane said calmly.

"Gets what?"

Lane smirked. It was impossible to do otherwise because Daniele had moved the

book a few inches to the side and away from his crotch. His erection pointed

outward into his jeans, just large enough to distort the denim into a semblance

of a bulge.

"Those," Lane chuckled.

"Oh,..." Daniele was visibly embarrassed for he promptly moved the book back a

few inches, yet no matter the circumstances his mind always searched for greater

understanding. "Why did you say there's nothing wrong with my blood pressure?"

he added curiously.

"Because it's blood that makes it stick out like that," Lane explained. "Ergo,

blood pressure,..."

"Yeah, I remember reading something like that in the encyclopedia. Is that why

yours is sticking out?" Daniele asked as he smirked back at the man.

Lane glanced down. It had not been there when he went through the motions of

getting a cup of coffee. He could remember getting an erection so quickly only

once. It was an occasion he would never forget, and not because it had been

within the last year. It had happened with a boy who he knew only as Jeff. It

happened within seconds of laying eyes on him for the first time. The bulge was

impossible to overlook. It was gigantic compared to the compact swelling behind

Daniele's jeans.

"More or less," he agreed with amusement. "Only I didn't get mine from reading a

book like you did."

He regretted saying that the instant the words left his mouth. He had not

intended to make the boy more self-conscious about the book than he already was.

It was the last thing he wanted to do. However, instead of upsetting Daniele, he

continued to stare without saying anything until Lane was almost about to

apologize.

"Why do you have one then?" the boy suddenly asked. He looked up slyly.

"Me?" Lane swallowed. "Um, well,.... Sometimes it just happens."

Daniele thought about that and slowly nodded, accepting the explanation. He

still held the book, uncertain of what to do with it.

"I'll keep that for you," Lane offered. "If you want that is. It'll be here for

you the next time you visit."

"What makes you think I'll come back?"

"Hm,... Perhaps you won't,...."

Lane studied the boy. He was impressed by the youngster's wit. There was no

question that the boy was highly intelligent. He had devoured the book. He

possessed the same intensity, the same concentrated curiosity that Lane had.

There were even hints of other characteristics that they shared. Looking at

Daniele was like looking at himself thirty years earlier.

"Did the book help?" Lane asked softly.

Daniele shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. It did answer a few things for me."

His neck undulated as he swallowed, blood vessels swelling just beneath skin

that was nearly translucent. His eyes flickered. He hovered on the brink of

unleashing his anxiety, of running away from the truth that he was being forced

to confront. The book had helped in one way, but not in the way he wanted. He

had supplemented adult fact with juvenile imagination and analogy. It was a

particularly useful analogy as far as he was concerned, but he still wanted to

know more.

Daniele let out a long sigh, shaking his head slightly.

"You still have questions?" Lane suggested.

"Lots," Daniele admitted. Wryly he rotated the book so that Lane could easily

see the title. "Please don't make fun of me."

"I would never do that. You might be interested to know that I've read The Joy

of Gay Sex before," Lane acknowledged in a moment of truth. It was an awkward

admission.

"You mean you're gay?" Daniele blurted out.

"Um, I suppose that's one way of putting it."

"You're not sure?" Daniele asked, with a characteristic tilt of his head. He

wasn't sure if he was gay either, although he was more than bright enough to

realize that he probably was.

"I wouldn't say that exactly. I'm sure."

"Huh? You're,... ah,.... What is it, um, when you like both sexes,... bi then?"

"Not at all."

"I don't get it."

"Neither do I," Lane replied. "I like males, but not like the ones in that

book." He felt his brow getting hotter. Already he had said far too much.

Daniele considered that. "Why not?"

"Um,... it's difficult to explain. Do you?" Lane asked awkwardly.

He was very aware that the conversation had moved in a direction that was

extremely dangerous for him. Still, he had not said anything that could be

problematic, so far. There was no low against telling a boy that you were gay,

at least not yet, and as far as he knew it was perfectly legal to show a copy of

The Joy of Gay Sex to an underaged boy.

"Do I what?"

"Like what's in the book?" Lane confided.

Daniele tensed. He gazed down at the book. His thoughts were a long way away. He

was increasingly frightened by the thoughts that pervaded his mind. For as far

back as he could remember, not a single day passed without at least one news

story about pedophiles. They were constantly subjected to media attention. They

were discussed at length at school. Even his friends made jokes about them,

offering crude comments about what they did to boys, making allegations about

men to be avoided. He loathed the very idea of being a pedophile. Pedophiles had

sex with boys. Pedophiles did the same things that he had done with Grey, like

he wanted to do with other boys.

"I,..." Daniele needed to talk to someone. Absently, he licked his lips.

"They,... they all, you know,... they have hair everywhere."

"And you'd rather they didn't?"

Daniele nodded slightly. "They're old,... I mean,... well grown up and,..."

"You'd like them to be younger?"

Daniele nodded again, a little more confidently.

"You'd like them to be boys?"

Daniele winced. "Yeah, I guess."

"I understand," Lane said simply. "You're very brave."

"Are you um,... I mean,... are you,... like that,... or something?"

"If you mean do I like boys, ah,.... well, yes... I guess I do."

"Why?" Daniele asked questioningly.

"Why do I like boys?" Lane posed. "Probably for the same reasons that you do. I

find that they're more interesting to me."

Daniele shivered. `Interesting' conveyed a lot. Boys were a lot more

`interesting' than girls. He nodded slowly. `Interesting' was a good way of

putting it. It said a lot without being unnecessarily specific about what in

particular was `interesting'. The book in his hand showed in graphic detail what

was `interesting' to gay men. It was the same for boys, only smaller, smoother,

and to Daniele, infinitely more desirable.

"I think I like boys too," Daniele finally admitted in as brave a voice as he

could manage.

He hurried out of the store and ran most of the way down Liberty Street. He

stopped running only when he was a block away from where he lived.