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No Baseball Team
Carlos and Rosita married very young, 17 for him and 15 for her. They were both illiterate and ignorant. One thing they certainly knew nothing about was contraception. It became routine, therefore, that there was a baby every year, for they were both very fertile. After 10 years, they were the parents of nine children, all boys. Rosita was weary of both childbearing and child rearing. Sone of her friends told Rosita that it was not necessary to have a baby every year, that there were measures that she and/or Carlos could take to avoid further pregnancies. Rosita broached the subject to Carlos who knew that the Church opposed contraception and told her so. Furthermore, he explained "I wan' more cheeldren. I wan' my own béisbol team." That decided Rosita to take matters into her own hands. She knew where the stuff that makes babies comes from. Rosita asked one of her friends "Does a man need hees cojones to leeve ?" Her friend laughed and said "Of course not. You don' have cojones, do you ?" So, at last, Rosita knew what to do. She brought her sewing shears to bed with her and waited until Carlos was snoring. Then, she threw off the sheet over him. Carlos always slept in the nude and there were his cojones, exposed to unimagined danger. Carlos' bag was very relaxed and his cojones hung low. Rosita laid his thick pinga on his belly and took ahold of Carlos' baby-makers . One quick snip and it was done. Carlos jumped up with a scream stood beside the bed staring down at himself and at his cojones in Rosita's hand. " Oh, Rosita, what have you done ?" he cried. "There weel be no more babies" replied Rosita. "No more babies ? ! No more focking ! I can' make love weethout my cojones." Rosita, who enjoyed sex as much as Carlos did, hadn't been aware of that. "Oh, no, pobrecito." Carlos had been shouting, though now he was sobbing, as was Rosita, when the neighbors came in and saw what had happened. The police were called and an ambulance to take Carlos to the hospital. The policeman arrested Rosita but Carlos refused to testify against her or to press charges because she hadn't fully understood what she was doing, and above all because he still loved her. Also, of course, the boys needed their mother. Carlos was home the next day, sewed up and recuperating Everyone in the neighborhood knew that Carlos was now a capón and many of the men, obsessed as they were with machismo, were amused by his sad fate and viewed him with contempt. For a few weeks, Carlos could still get stiff, but sex didn't feel right any more and didn't give him much satisfaction. Soon, it became hard work and no fun, and finally, his pinga refused to respond any more. Carlos became very downhearted. He became a listless drudge working to support his sons and the wife who had ruined him. He hated to go to the cantina because the machos there tormented him. One of them decided that it would be fun to beat up the capón. Weakened by his castration, Carlos was hard put to defend himself. Finally, in desperation, he brought his knee up as hard as he could between his tormentor's thighs, bursting his cojones and making them brothers in misery. Carlos got a stiff fine which he had to borrow money to pay and Jorge got a year in jail. At least, though, no one taunted Carlos any more. Never, though, did Carlos hate Rosita for what she had done to him. When he could no longer use his pinga, he learned to use his finger to satisfy her. Neither of them was interested in oral sex. As it turned out, not one of their nine boys cared for béisbol. All of them preferred futbol [soccer], so the two additional boys whose conception Rosita had prevented weren't really needed anyhow.
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