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Yes, I did it and here’s the story.
In Odessa, Texas in 1960 I began to have terrible pains in my groin area I went to a urologist He give me a rectal examination inform me as he was removing the finger glove, Bob you have a enlarged prostate. I want you to come in every day for the next five for me to massage your prostate gland. That started it, from 1963 until 1983 I lived every day in different degrees of pain. I tried every thing I even bought jockey straps to hold up my testicles. Nothing worked. Finally in 1983 in Ft. Worth, Texas while spending a few days at my sisters house I reached the point where something had to be done. I would wake during suffering from the pain. I clawed at the “dreadful things” thinking it was my testicles causing the pain. The only relieve I got was having sex, afterwards I was pain free for a couple hours. I finally got an appointment with a doctor who informed me it was my prostate gland enlarging from too much testosterone. I tried to get the doctor to do an orchidectomy to reduce my testosterone level, he wouldn’t do it. I called several urologists, after explaining my problem to them they all refused to even consider removing one testicle. Stupid me I never thought to ask them, “What about taking both of them out?” It was then I made my decision I hung up the phone on the second call turned to my wife, I said, “ Mother I’m going to castrate myself. I have castrated lots of animals I know exactly how there is nothing to it.” I knew where there was a veterinarian a short distance north on the Jacksboro Highway. We got in the car and drone about five miles to the vets. I explained to him I was going to castrate a horse that I needed some things. A can of Lidocain first, a hemostat, a bottle of Butadiene, some dissolving suture material and a needle. I kept my pocket knife raiser sharp I planned on using it for the incisions. My sister had a pair of forceps in her medicine cabinet.
An hour after leaving for the veterinarians I was back at my sister's house. I went straight to the bathroom got naked and started to work. First I shaved and scrubbed my genital area with Betadine. I laid out my tools on a bath clothe soaked in rubbing alcohol, scrubbed my hands with disinfectant Dial soap, sat down on the commode top; extended
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my legs across to the edge of the bath tub, leaned back as far as I could so as to get a good view of my work area. I made sure every thing was in place, reached down to my scrotum where I. placed my left thumb and fire finger around the sack and forced both
balls up. Soon I was squeezing them with my all my left fingers. When they were squeezed tight above my fore finger and thumb I placed the knife over the right center ball, I cut a one inch incision down the scrotum toward the base of my penis. The right testicle popped out membrane sheath and all. I forced the sack down as I pulled on the testicle when I felt a very uncomfortable tug in my groin I slipped a loop over the exposed ball slipped it down over the tubes and blood veins and tied them off. Grasping the testicle in my left fingers I pulled it up and with my pocket I cut it free from my body. I was suprised at how tough the sheath and cord was. With the razor sharp knife it took a sawing action to free the testicle. At that point I had the only feeling of regret, was I sure? The mixed emotion soon passed. I remember thinking as I looked at the bloody mass in my left hand. “how could that cause so much all the pain? Following the same procedure on the left side I soon had both balls lying in my hand. I placed them on a wad of toilet paper and went back to my work. The stitching was a little uncomfortable; the Lidocain was beginning to wear off. After the stitching my scrotum I cleaned up the bathroom so as not to leave a trace of the operation anywhere. Out of curiosity I dissected both testicals they both seemed healthy enough. I went into the kitchen and dropped unceremoniously down the disposal unit turned it on and said goodbye to 30 years of pain and happiness. To put the record I loved sexual intercourse. In thirty years I fathered nine children. As I was leaving the kitchen something went wrong blood began to ooze from the incision on the left side. Soon my scrotum was swelled to the size of a baseball. I packed my groin area with Kotex put on my bathrobe, called to my wife, “Start the car we have to go to the emergency room.” On the drive to the hospital the Kotex between my legs become soaked with blood. As I replaced it with another I saw in horror
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that my scrotum was now the size of a football and black. Arriving at the hospital I rushed into the emergency room dripping a trail blood. A gurney was brought out and I was placed on it. A doctor arrived soon. I explained to him what I had done. He wheeled me into a waiting area where I was left to bleed until the emergency crew had a little time to look at a damn fool. They wheeled me into an operating room and a anesthetist placed a mask over my mouth and nose and said, “ Now sweetie let me hear you count backwards to a hundred. I’ll remember those beautiful eyes looking down into mine forever. I woke up when I heard, “Mr. Threadgill, it’s time to wake up”. I opened my eyes and there were those same pretty blue eyes looking into mine again. This time however there was a beautiful face under them. I smiled and said to it, “Lady I sure am glad to see those pretty eyes again.” She smiled back and turned to the door and left, I never saw those eyes or her again. Soon after the anesthetist left another tall heavy set black lady come into the room. She sat down by the door and began reading a magazine. I turned over and went back to sleep.
I slept through the night with out awakening. A voice said, “Good morning, how do you feel?”
“Like shit,” I answered;” did they fix me up?”
No they didn’t, you did.
I turned over and went back to sleep.
No nurse or doctor in that hospital asks me what or why did I castrate myself. I was there two weeks? After a couple of days the one of the ladies keeping watch over me, began to get friendly. We struck up a conversation on several occasions. During one of those conversations I got up the nerve to talk about my self-surgery. I ask her, “Will I still be able to have sex?”
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“Sure cutting your balls off won’t stop that if you still want to. Your problem from now on will be wanting to.”
I took a deep sigh of relief, “ I don’t believe anything can keep me from wanting to fuck”. Little did I realize at the time that I had acquired a case of prostrate cancer. I went on10 mg testosterone pills daily for the next 9 years. In Austin a doctor started me on a 2-cc shot of testosterone one time a month. After several months I began to hurt again in the groin area. Becoming concerned about the size of the shot I complained to the doctor’s nurse, “I think Doc is giving me to much testosterone”.
She left, I heard her till the doctor what I had said, he answered, “ You tell Threadgill, and I’m the doctor around here. I never went back there again. I found an urologist in New Braunfels, Texas, a town several miles closer to home. The first thing the new doctor wanted from me was a PSA test, a good sign. Two days later I was called back to his office, he wanted another PSA test. Two days after that test he called again, “ I want you to have a biopsy done on your prostate gland”. Two days later sitting in his office he informed me, “ we need to x-ray your prostate gland soon. Your PSA is increasing daily you may have a cancer. I got the x-ray, sure enough two days later he called me again, “Bob I need to talk to you and your wife”. This wasn’t a good sign at all and me without life insurance. At the doctor’s office he put up my x-ray, with a pointer he pointed a small dark spot on my prostate gland. “I took a piece from six sections of your prostate one of them was positive for cancer.” I stayed cool, asking him, “What can we do for it?
“You actually have three choices, one is chemotherapy, two is radiation therapy or finally we can take out the cancerous section of the gland.”
“Will that cure me?”
“It may”
It may?” I ask him, “What do you mean it may?”
“The prostate will still be there what ever caused the cancer may also be present. The only
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sure cure is to remove the prostate”. I was quick to come back with, “How soon can you do it? Can you leave me with the ability to get an erection?”
“I believe since the cancer is pretty well isolated to one spot we can dissect it leaving the nerves that induce an erection. You should be fit for sex in under a year. Of course you will have to stay on the testosterone.”
That was good enough for me. My next question was when can you do it?”
“As soon as we can get you in the hospital”.
Call them, let’s get it over with”.
He did it the next day. Now I didn’t have balls or a prostate gland. Things weren’t looking so good for the prospects of any future sex activity for a while.
Now I’m 73 years old, looking back I have no regrets of loosing my testicles they were a bother. I do wish I had been able to find a doctor to do a bilateral orchidectomy in 1983 instead of having to do it myself, I could have killed myself. I do however miss the prostate gland for the simple reason my orgasms or dry, although they are more intensive. Since intercourse takes deep concentration I can loose an erection very quickly if I let thoughts wander a tiny bit. I can’t be concerned with things like, is my wife ready to orgasm or is the TV too loud downstairs.
Concentration, Concentration, Concentration!
It’s interesting that all during the time I was cutting my balls out, I had a terrific hard on. Another interesting point is, I can have an orgasm without an erection.
I quit taking testosterone completely I take estrogen for the sweats. I have some female feelings once in a while I found my breast was growing very soon after my castration. They get irritated when it gets cold or when I perspire for a long period of time. To help with the irritation I began to wear bras to protect my breast, I enjoy wearing the bras, I enjoy buying them I get aroused picking them out although the selection of bras is limited for my size 42B. I also like
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wearing ladies panties, since I have a bit of a leakage problem, panty liners fit better in the panties and the silk feels wonderful.
My penis has only lost about an inch in length, none in circumference. After 20 years the scrotum has shrunk a lot but I can still stretch it about an inch and a half. I stretch my scrotum and penis daily so they want shrink to much. Every once in a while my erection will go down during the sex act, not a very good situation for the wife. To make it better for my wife, and I do enjoy our intercourse, I may have a sex change operation to make it better for us I to have sex. I enjoy oral sex now I’m thinking she may enjoy a lesbian sex act better, than the prospect of me loosing an erection in the middle of an intense orgasm. I haven’t broached the subject yet.
Now is the time to warn anyone who might think they can castrate themselves. I would have bled to death if the hospital hadn’t been within 30 minutes of where I performed the operation. A traffic blockage would have killed me. It isn’t worth the danger, get a professional to do or don’t do it at all. I was lucky.
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