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As a youth, I did not know that I was “different”. Nobody told me. My parents did not tell me. Nor did any of my Doctors during my early years tell me of any abnormalities. Eventually though, once other guys at school saw me naked, and I saw them naked, and I began to discover that I was indeed different than other guys at school. It started shortly after puberty and became apparent at the school locker room and shower. On the first occasion where I was naked and saw other guys naked some stared at me. Well, not exactly at “me”, but at my mid-section, at my genitals. It did not take long for me to realize that my genitals were much larger than those of everyone else. Indeed very much larger than everyone else. At first, nobody said anything, and the stares were really more like fleeting glances. That was the start of it. Soon my endowment started to attract some admirers. Here we were, young, not even aware of our sex, our sexual preferences, or what to do with any of the emotions, but one thing led to another and I became a focus of attention for numerous male classmates. Eventually, it became pretty common to be greeted in the school hall with “How’s it’ hangin’ “. Several fellow male classmates, the gay ones obviously, craved to see, touch, feel, fondle my genitals. Being the focus of so much attention, being so different, so in demand, game me a feeling of being special, of power, of control over others. Others, mostly the straight ones, harbored nothing but obvious envy and hatred for my special features. Then there were the numerous sexual encounters. I can not possibly know how my orgasmic experiences compare to those of others, but they simply overwhelmed me with wonder and I wanted more and more and more. And my admirers wanted more and more and more. It became an addiction. I never got into smoking, drugs, or any of the “normal” addictions. I was a sex addict. And it was wonderful. Throughout middle school I became literally a sexual indulgent who could not give, or get enough sex. It was exhausting. The older I got, the larger my genitals got and the more sex I gave and got. Eventually, as I got older, my genitals actually started to become a burden. Now I know that I was not unlike women who have such enormous breasts, really enormous, that they become a burden, a problem, a distraction. One can not of course avoid Doctors during one’s adolescence. Ultimately I wound up having a physical, and to this day I remember the shocked, amazed look on the Doctor’s face as I presented to him my entire “maleness”. One thing led to another. He thought that perhaps I had some kind of genital disease, some kind of elephantitis that makes one’s genitals keep growing larger and larger. Tests fortunately revealed that I had no disease. I just had an unusual combination of hormones, genes, and DNA that seemed to be the cause for my unusual growth. Now if a male or female is very tall, one can not hide this. Such people always get the usual, “How’s the weather up there”, or other stupid comments. But for me, I just had to put up with “How’s it hangin.” And I was able to conceal my hanging within the confines of my briefs and pants for several years. And they hung very very well. But as I said, it it all eventually hung too well. Most average guys could not imagine that I started to complain about how well it hung. I could not wear normal brief shorts or boxer shorts. I had to wear extra large jockey straps, and even then, the weight of my balls inside the very large scrotum, and my thick long cock, protruded embarrassingly in my pants. You would think that one would be cocksure proud to have such a massive display. But it became a great distraction. They became so large it became impossible to conceal or hide my massive genitals. Like enormous breasts, they just made themselves very obvious no matter what I did. It became very tiresome having people not interact with me as me as a person, but get distracted by my genitals which I could not hide. Everyone I came in contact with would try to not look, but they could not avoid noticing, glancing, wondering, and it became amusing, yet tiring to me over time. Then, there was the pain. If I tried to forcefully conceal my large tennis ball size balls, there was much pain. It just didn’t work. If I did not let them flow loosely, freely, every time I sat down, they would be squashed with enormous pain resulting. Over time, my genitals finally stopped growing, but they were so large that while naked my balls would hang down to my knees, and my penis was half the size of my wrist and would hang half way down to my knees. I could not engage in normal sexual intercourse. Blow jobs, hand jobs from men and women alike was the extent of my sexual activity. Nobody cared for me, the person; they just wanted to play with my genitals. It became a very frustrating, annoying, unfulfilling life. I began to wonder if there was any way to have the enormous size of my genitals reduced. I learned of breast enlargement, breast reduction, penis enlargement, but I could find no information on penis or testicle or scrotum reduction procedures. After not very many years, during my mid 20’s, the novelty of having what seemed like the largest human penis, scrotum, and testicles of anyone alive, at least of anyone I knew, the novelty wore off, and I was desperately seeking a somewhat normal life. Not that I wanted “normal small” genitals, but I began to desire sexual organs that were just notably large, but not freaky large. I wanted people to see me, not just my genitals. I wondered what it was like to engage in intercourse. Many a male had entered me and I relished and savored those experiences. My sexual life was so diverse I was a bi-sexual. Any kind of sex pleased me. But I had never had the opportunity of entering a female, or a male for that matter. I was just much too large for such an encounter. One thing leads to another, and at the time I had no idea what the future would hold. Had I only known then what I know now. As it is with most things, I learned entirely by accident of a Doctor who had performed genital reduction surgery on individuals who suffered from elephantitis, a genital disease that grossly enlarges the testicles and scrotum. In some people the disease enlarges each testicle to the size of a football, or larger. I could not but wonder if perhaps such a Doctor could somehow provide me with some relief from my very large, and often painful, and distracting genitals. It took a bit of time to develop the contacts, relationships, and trust that were necessary to have this Doctor review my “case”. For I was not really a “case”. I was a person with no disease who just happen to have enormously large genitals and I wanted them reduced in size. To make a long story short, so to speak, what I wanted was not within the realm of known science. I wanted a smaller penis, smaller scrotum, and smaller testicles. Nothing like this had been known to be done before. Genital removal was not uncommon. And some instances of genital enlargement, were known, but genital reduction was off the charts. Nevertheless, no great Doctor worth their salt can refuse a challenge. My “case” was accepted. Little did I know what that would mean to me. In many of us, perhaps in all of us, there are two sides. There is the professional, intellectual, normal side that fits into the accepted norm, that makes us fit in, normal. And whether it surfaces or not, sometimes there is the “dark side”. The not average, the not normal. Those two sides are what inspired the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde concept. Perhaps my new Doctor did not even realize his dark side. But it was there, waiting for its opportunity. If he knew of it, I do not know, but certainly I did not know of it. But we both soon would. After numerous phone calls, and e-mails, I finally had the opportunity to fly across country and meet the famous, or infamous, Dr. X as I will refer to him. It is no easy feat sitting in an airline seat, when you are blessed and burdened by such large genitals as mine. It was an uncomfortable, painful experience. I kept a magazine over my crotch the entire flight to avoid any unpleasant social encounters from the person next to me. On the day of my exam, I had expected the usual surprise at the size of my genitals. But this was no ordinary Doctor. He was not unfamiliar with similar physical features. Indeed my condition was less than average in size to the usual diseased elephantitis patients with whom he had experience. Removal, elimination of my genitals would be a major, serious, complex operation he said. But that was not what I wanted. I simply wanted them reduced in size. Not too much, but enough so that I could live a normal sexual life, with perhaps features that were at least a bit larger than normal, but not strangely larger than normal. I noticed a slight change in his expression. I should have taken more note of it. It was probably at this moment in time that the “dark side” of Dr. X came out of hiding. In retrospect I realize this was the moment. But that moment is history now. It is water under the bridge. What is done is done. There is no going back. He sent me away and said he would consider my request, my case, but would make no promises. That was pretty much all it took to lure me into his control. My despair, his lure, my hope. The trap was set. He said he would contact me in a day or two. I spent the next day doing tourist things. That evening there was a message on the hotel answering service. Dr. X had a solution. He wanted to see me the next day. Upon seeing him the next day, he did not, he would not, go into details. He just said that he had a solution to my problem. He had a way to reduce the size of my scrotum, my testicles, and my penis, all without making me sterile, or eliminating my sex drive. It’s all I ever wanted. I regretfully did not question his solution or any further details. Surgery was scheduled for the next day. It was all so sudden, but I was ready, anxious, not willing to delay and risk being plagued by my cumbersome and enormous painful genitals any longer. During surgery, I can only assume that the darker side of Dr. X emerged. To a certain degree, he did give me some of the results that I sought. My scrotum no longer hangs down to my knees. My testicles are no longer crushed in pain when I sit down. And my penis is not overly large. I am not sterile, and I can still engage in sex. I have had the pleasure of engaging in intercourse even with men and women. But things are not exactly as I had imagined. As a result of the surgery by the darker side of Dr. X. a vacuum syringe was used to suction out much of the internal content of each testicle to make them smaller. That alone would have been satisfactory. However then, an incision was made into each side of my abdomen, and each testicle was tucked into my abdomen which was then sewn shut and my testicles became completely invisible to external view. Next my very large elongated scrotum was completely removed and the loose ends sewn together tightly at the base of my penis so that it looks as if I were a neutered man, a eunuch. Lastly the middle of my penis was literally removed and the two ends sewn together so that I have much shorter penis and a lot of penile skin, which all functions quite well, but is quite short. I went from being the magnet of lust from men and women alike for having the largest genitalia that most had ever seen, to being a nearly sexual neuter. From one extreme to the other. Neither extreme is of satisfaction. Although my testicles are now of a nominal size, they are virtually non-existent and can never hang freely. My modest penis does not hang low between my legs any more and is of nominal size when erect. Upon having any sexual encounters I am looked upon more with pity than awe and wonder. There is not much more to say other than be careful what you wish for. I can honestly say I don’t wish that I was back the way I was. After years of enjoying and enduring larger and larger genitals, and enormous amounts of sexual frivolity, it became such an annoyance, a burden, an abnormal way of life that I am really glad to be rid of the burden. Yet now, I have a similar frustration, although for a different reason, the loss of my scrotum and hidden testicles. Maybe some day I can find a “normal” Doctor Z who can fix things so I am somewhat normal, with a scrotum and testicles hanging between my legs. For now, I am Doctor shy, and unwilling to go under the knife for fear of what might happen next. Being a total smooth is not my personal desire. I am not yet willing to trust anyone to try to put me back to a more normal state for fear that their dark side will surface and I will be without any genitals at all. In my younger years though, before my genitals grew so very enormous, there were some really great times. I look back on them with great pleasure, fondness, and am glad for them. Those days are gone now. There is nothing for me to do but move forward with what I have. Only those who knew me in my early years can verify that the photographs I possess of myself then are accurate, true, and not digitally enhanced. I did so much enjoy my large free hanging genitals. I miss fondling and playing with them and their enormity. It was an awesome feeling of power, control, and dominance. Perhaps it is better now that I am more humbled. I have seen both sides of size. From experience I can attest that average, normal, is something that should not be the source of frustration. Enormously big, and very small, both have their negatives. If you are “average” in size and content, take comfort. and enjoy whatever your endowment may be. End. |