La Crucifems, Part 16

I remember vividly the day of the November meeting of the sisters of La Crucifems. My dearly beloved wife had become more and more distracted as that day approached, and when it at last dawned, she was sobbing into her pillow when I awakened.

I assumed that the stress she was feeling was due to her wanting so badly to be chosen as the successor to Joanna, the Grand Mistress of our branch of the Society, so I sought to assure her by repeating all we had been told by Joanna, and indeed all the other sisters, that our choice to appear as "guests of honor" was already decided by what had already happened.

Instead of her becoming calm and confident, as I had hoped would happen, my reassurances seemed to have the opposite effect. She held me close, seeming to possess more strength than I had ever thought possible. Her kisses and words of love for me were so passionate that I was becoming aroused, and thought that maybe she was seeking sexual relations from me.

She had trained my cock to such a point by then that I am doubtful if I could have achieved erection without her order to me to do so, no matter what the stimulation. Since she didn't give that order, I thought that maybe she wanted me to satisfy her orally, and I sought to kiss my way down her body, in the usual prelude to her mounting my face and riding it to orgasm.

Instead of allowing me to do that, she pulled me again to her, pleading, "Please just hold me close." I did so, and resolved to continue doing so until she found the comfort she so desperately sought. In another few minutes, she quieted and her breathing evened and slowed, and I knew that she was once again in control of herself.

I questioned her about the cause of her upset, and she said that she had awakened from a nightmare, one in which I had been taken from her, and she was to spend the remainder of her life alone. She kept repeating that she loved me very, very much and if anything ever took me from her, she would end her own life rather than facing even one hour without me at her side.

We kissed some more, and I stroked her and held her, saying that not even Heaven and earth could ever part us. Eventually she pulled back enough to allow our eyes to meet. She gazed at my face for a long time, then seemed to find again the inner peace that has always been her strength. At last she smiled that mischievous little quirky smile I love so well, and asked, "How about breakfast in bed?"

We both laughed at the memories that brought of the first morning we had awakened in this bed, following the night after the first time I had "coaxed" her to allow me to eat from her other opening. I immediately rolled to my back, asked, "May I serve you, Sister Christine?", then opened my mouth to its widest.

She chuckled again, and straddled my face, saying, "Yes, you may, my toilet. I hope you have a good appetite." She then gave to me those gifts of her lovely body that had become so important to me, and to her also. This was truly a sharing of the most intimate of moments between two people.

We resumed our normal routine for any other Saturday when the Sisterhood would be meeting that night. Unlike the previous occassions, though, whenever I sought to make some little comment about how the man who would be tied to the cross that night would probably have a 2" dick and cry like a baby at first sight of the nails, she would simply change the subject. Again, I put it down to the stress she felt concerning the upcoming decision.

I prepared my darling in the usual manner, bathing and shaving her precious body, and then dressing her in the clothing she had chosen to wear. At the usual time, she departed for Joanna's house, and the final regular meeting of the year of the Sisterhood of La Crucifems. I whiled away the night watching television and reading, but unable to remember anything of what I had seen or read since I, too, was distracted by the importance of the outcome of tonight's vote by the sisters. Would I be on the cross in another month, or would the man there right now be given that honor? Surely just the power of my beloved's longing to be so honored would cause the powers-that-be to swing the vote in her favor.

I slept fitfully that night, in my lonely bed. Most of the time, my head was on her pillow as I tried to drown myself in her scent that was there. I must have dreamed several times, for I found myself awake many times during the night, knowing that I had been in a nightmare, but unable to recall it.

Finally the morning arrived, but it brought no relief. My darling would return during the noon hour, if she kept her usual schedule. I had taken my post in the front room by mid-morning, so anxious was I to see her and learn the outcome of the vote. I was simply too nervous to remain seated for any length of time, and began to pace back and forth, watching the window, yet not so close to it that a neighbor's casual glance would have revealed my nakedness.

About one hour before her usual time to arrive, our car pulled up to the curb and my wife got out and came to the door. I opened the door and prepared to fall to my knees to welcome her in our manner, but she closed the door quickly and pulled me to her and began sobbing. My heart fell as I thought that some other sister had been selected, and my darling was heartbroken at her rejection at the hands of the other sisters.

I tried to question her about the vote, but she wouldn't, or couldn't reply, instead guiding us to the couch. We continued to hold each other close while seated there, and finally she was able to say to me, "We were chosen."

Those simple words seemed to upset her even more, and it was again a space of several minutes before she could continue. "It was simply no contest." Then she smiled weakly and continued, "He didn't have a 2" dick, and he didn't begin crying when he saw the first nail, but it was really no contest. He was simply an average-size man, and average in his desire to be crucified. Every sister voted for us."

I was pleased for her, knowing that the vote of confidence in her, and me as her Consort, meant that she would be assuming the post of Grand Mistress in about thirteen months time. I couldn't understand why she wasn't as pleased as I about the outcome of the vote.

My next thought was a familiar one: What would be done to me when I was on the cross? Would I receive the torture that I found so stimulating? Would my darling become more and more aroused as she witnessed my suffering, and I become more and more aroused by her own arousal? These questions, as usual, ran through my mind, and I reminded her of her promise to tell me the details of the upcoming session as soon as we became the final selection.

She quietly said, "Please, my love. Give me just one more day to accept this. I promise that tomorrow night I'll tell you everything."

The rest of that day, and the whole of the next day were spent in one fantasy after another as I tried to guess what would be done to me at the final meeting. I knew then, as I always had known, that my guesses were bound to be wrong, and that proved to be the case in this instance also.

I met my wife at the door as she returned from work the next afternoon, and immediately greeted and serviced her. Instead of us meeting on the couch after I had cleaned myself, as she stood from my face she said that we would be going to Gloria's that evening. I was completely confused by this turn of events, since it wasn't a Friday night, and in any case I was not to be tortured before the meeting of the Sisterhood. All she would say in response to my questions was that I'd "find out soon enough". I checked my curiosity, and then bathed and shaved myself just in case I were to be the subject of some sort of session.

As we walked in the front door of Gloria's house, I thought it strange that Don was not there to greet Chrissy and offer his services. Even stranger still was that she stopped me from undressing as had always been required of me. The house was completely quiet, and I thought that maybe our hosts were out for the evening, but then remembered that the door had been unlocked. It was a strange situation, indeed.

Chrissy led me down the hallway to a part of the house I had never seen. As we entered a room, I could see that it was probably the master bedroom. The centerpiece of the room was a truly huge bed, and above it was a mirrored ceiling. I had heard of such, but until now had never seen one. I guessed to myself that this was where my wife and her lover spent the nights following their sessions in the basement, and Chrissy confirmed this to me.

She led me to what seemed to be a closet inset into the wall at the foot of the bed. It had two large doors of the type known as "bi-fold", which, when pulled outward, would hinge in the middle and fold back to each side of the opening. Chrissy pulled the knobs attached to the doors, and they folded away, revealing the closet inside. As the doors moved to the sides, two lights mounted in the ceiling of the closet came on, and I was sure they had automatic switches that were activated whenever the doors opened.

As the doors completed their process of folding to the sides, Chrissy said, "This is Gloria's trophy room." I thought that the three trophies mounted on the wall were indeed strange, and looked at them for a few seconds before realizing that what was hanging there was familiar to me.

Each of the "trophies" consisted of a replica of the crucifixion board that had been placed behind my genitals when I was on the cross, and to which my cock and balls were subsequently nailed. Each of the boards had a penis and testicles nailed to it, and I assumed that they were made either of plaster-of-Paris or some sort of plastic. The entire trophy seemed to be coated in a fairly thick layer of plastic, giving the impression of having been dipped in a clear sealing solution.

Chrissy told me to look closely at the one in the center, which seemed to have the largest replica nailed to it. I did so, then asked, "Where did Gloria get such a thing?" She answered, "From Don." I again asked, "Do you mean that Don made the thing for her?"

Her answer froze me in time and left me unable to form any coherent thoughts or words for several minutes. "In a way that's what he did, I guess. It'd be more accurate to say that he grew it, though."

Even after trying for a few minutes to rationalize her words with what I saw hanging on the wall, I was still in a state of disbelief. She then placed her hand on my back and urged me forward until my eyes were just a few inches from the trophy hanging on the wall there in that closet.

I looked at every small detail that was now revealed to my eyes: The tiny blood vessels just beneath the surface, the small bumps that every man has on his sac, the sculpturing of the glans, the small folds of the frenum. As I moved back to Chrissy's side, I knew in my heart of hearts that what I was seeing was indeed Don's penis and testicles crucified to that board.

Chrissy led me to the bed and we sat down on it, still facing the closet and the three trophies hanging there. She held me close, asking, "Now do you see why I've been so upset? Can you imagine the heartbreak I've had just thinking that such a thing must be done to you in order for me to realize my dream. How can I possibly do that to you? I simply can't do it." She began to sob.

As I began to awake from my state of shock, I returned her hug, holding her closer and tighter than ever before. "I think that you'll have to. It's your destiny to lead La Crucifems. You have no choice."

"No! I don't have to do it! It's my dream, not yours. I can't ask a sacrifice like that of you. No man can be asked such a thing."

I looked again at the closet wall, the said, "Obviously at least three men have been asked to do such a thing. I'll willingly be another. You know, you have to know, that I'm your's, heart and soul. You don't need to ask it of me, I give it freely."

She leaned slightly away from me then, and looked deeply into my eyes. When she finally spoke, she said, "We can leave this city today. We can go to where no one knows us, to a place where the Sisterhood is completely unknown. I can't ask you to give up something so precious to your whole existence. Please come away with me. Let's leave now."

I was taken aback by this proposition, and said, "Surely you can't mean that. It would be beyond bearing for you to never again see your sisters, to feel Gloria's love, and to return it to her, here in this bed. We can't do such a thing." Then I smiled and continued, saying, "Besides, you just can't give up your job. How would we live. Our bank account wouldn't last very long."

She too smiled, and said, "Oh, you ninny. Money means nothing to you, does it? I told you not so long ago that we had almost a million dollars in the bank, but that really didn't mean anything to you, did it. How about if I told you that as of the end of this month, we'll have well over one and one-half million? I think we'd be able to survive quite comfortably on that, don't you?"

Once again I was astounded at that amount of money being in our bank account, and couldn't believe she was serious. I said, "I simply can't believe that we've made that much money from some photos and videotapes. Surely that can't all be ours?"

"Yes, dear heart. Most of it comes from your sessions, and they sell so well because of your obvious enthusiasm for being tortured. The rest comes from sales of the tape of the special gift session. Joanna says that what I did then has made them tremendously popular, and because of the extra sales the sisters voted a special commission to me. We're rich, my love. We don't have to do anything we don't want to do."

Once again, I told her that I knew with all my heart that she could never be happy outside of the Sisterhood, and even more that I believed it was her special destiny to lead her branch of it, and then someday to rise to leadership of all of La Crucifems. I knew, and tried to convince her, that she had a special quality that no other woman possessed. It was my belief that quality was a gift of the Creator, and she could not simply ignore it by refusing to go through with the year-end ceremony, but instead run off somewhere.

I then said, "Surely Joanna has noticed your inherent ability to lead an organization such as the Sisterhood. Why else would she have chosen you as her successor, even though you've been a member for only six months?"

Chrissy then said that Joanna had told her that she believed, as I did, that Chrissy had that "something special" that would cause her to rise far above being Grand Mistress of a group of eleven sisters. Joanna had already introduced her to the Mistresses of the other three branches of La Crucifems here in our city, and as a result of their favorable impressions, was prepared to introduce her to the Exalted Mistress at the next yearly convention of the interntional organization. I was proud to hear that my wife was so highly regarded by her sisters, and said that only confirmed my choice that we do our part at the final meeting of the year.

She looked squarely at me, and asked, "Do you, my husband, if the full knowledge of what will be done to you at that time, accept your part in the ceremony? I ask you to look at what is before you, there on the wall, and tell me truthfully that you can accept such a thing for yourself."

I looked at Don's crucified and severed genitals displayed in front of us, along with those of two other men, and knew in my heart that I wanted it for both of us. "My wife, I say to you with all my heart that I will be on the cross before your sisters, and I will beg you to do that which must be done."

Chrissy hugged me again, and was so overcome with emotion she couldn't speak. I thought to ask, wanting to banish a nagging doubt in my mind, "Will I still be by your side as you train for, and then assume, the office of Grand Mistress?"

She looked at me again, and solemnly answered, "Yes, my love. You'll always be there, no matter where I go to serve the Sisterhood." I smiled at her, and asked, "Does that mean that I'll have to serve the entire Sisterhood also?"

Chrissy started to answer my question in a serious manner, the caught the double meaning of my query. She smiled, then giggled, then broke into laughter and I joined in. We both were visualizing an unbroken line of sisters from over 500 chapters, with eleven members from each, waiting their turn to sit on my face and be "serviced". We lay back on the bed, holding our sides and rolling from side to side, finally freeing all the tension and stress that had been building for many days.

Gloria rushed through the bedroom door, with a look of concern on her face, sure that we had both slipped into hysteria, and were on the verge of losing our sanity. She stared at us, trying to decide if we were happy or merely crazy. I knew then that she had been standing just outside the door all the while, wanting desperately to know our decision. Finally Chrissy took pity on her and tried to explain the joke, but couldn't stop laughing long enough to string together more than three words at once. After many tries by both of us, we got across to her the image we were seeing of thousands of women standing in line, waiting for their turn on my wide-open mouth. She began to giggle, then joined in our laughter, and soon fell onto the bed beside me. Suddenly both she and Chrissy started to hug and kiss me, saying how lucky they were to have me, and how much they loved me. At that moment, I didn't need to die to get to Heaven, for I was already there. I had the sudden realization of what a big thing I was gaining, in return for giving up such a small thing. The trade was more than fair.

The next month passed very quickly for me, and for Chrissy as well. Now that it was almost a sure thing that she would succeed Joanna in slightly more than a year, she was given lesson after lesson in the history, ceremonies, and rituals of the Sisterhood. The part I would play in the upcoming ritual was major in many ways, but minor in others. I learned the lines that I would have to speak at key times, and when to keep quiet and let others speak.

Lyle paid many visits to our house, and our bed, during the time leading up to my final crucifixion. I loved to watch Chrissy riding his cock until she would climax with her special cry, and to punish his balls so that he could cum too. I loved cleaning both of them after their coupling, and knew that I would continue to do so for as long as they needed me to perform the service.

I found more and more that I no longer needed to experience orgasm to achieve satisfaction and that welcome afterglow of sex. Just lying there in the arms of my wife and her lover was enough to bring me all the satisfaction I would ever need. I truly began to understand, now even more than ever before, how right the Sisterhood was about all man's perceptions and feelings being filtered through the lens of his penis and testicles. I knew that I would surely miss my genitals, but believed that by their removal, I would be taken to a higher plane of existence.

In one of the instructional meetings with Joanna, she told me that I could look forward to having my lifespan extended by about five years after my body became free of the dose of testosterone that my balls were giving me on a continuous basis. She said that castrated men became less prone to showing off by taking risks, and that also contributed to their longer lives. All in all, we thought it was a pretty good trade-off.

Christmas came and went, and then there was less than one week left to me as a man. I was actually looking forward to it by then. Joanna had been laying out my upcoming duties, and I was eagerly anticipating assuming them, believing that I had much to contribute to the good of the Sisterhood.

Finally, the fateful night arrived. I was prepared as before, and Joanna "inspected" me in the room where the same thing had happened just a few short months ago, but seemed to me to be in another life. She injected me with the drug that would prevent my system entering a state of shock, and then offered me another drug that would make me much more compliant, and thereby help me to get through the ritual. I thanked her for the first drug, but refused the second. I knew that my love for my wife, and indeed for all the Sisterhood, would see me through this night.

As before, the two cords were attached to my cock and balls. The only difference was that Chrissy had to first order me to achieve an erection. As I had accepted the loss of my genitals, I felt less and less need for stimulation of them, and rarely had to use my training to prevent my penis from becoming engorged. When we were ready, Gloria again led us to the door of the fateful room, and we entered after knocking.

I saw again the cross setting in a pool of light, and thanks to my lessons, now understood its true meaning. I walked to it without hesitation, and stood beside it as outlined in the ritual.

Gloria was the first to speak, saying, "Sisters of La Crucifems, comes now this woman, our beloved sister Christine. She brings before us this man, her beloved husband, Blair. He is my beloved also, and is loved and respected by all in our Sisterhood who know him. My sister Christine and I ask that you witness the elevation of this man to a higher plane, a plane that a man can gain only through his pain and suffering, and the sacrifice of that part of him that makes him a man."

Chrissy then stepped forward, and recited her first part of the ritual, saying, "Sisters of La Crucifems, I come before you on this most special day of the year, and ask that you witness the transformation of this man, my beloved husband. He comes before you willingly, and with only love in his heart for the Sisterhood. His sacrifice is made by choice and not by compulsion. Hear him now."

My lines were short and to the point, and I had memorized them well. "Sisters of La Crucifems, I come before you on this the last day and hour of this year granted to us by Gaia. I consecrate my existence to Gaia, and ask that you witness my transformation to a higher plane."

Chrissy then removed the two cords, so that my binding to the cross could be shown to be entirely voluntary. As soon as they were free, I walked to the cross and placed my back against the post, and then raised my arms to the crossbeam. The two cords were then used to bind my arms in place.

As before, Gloria handed the spreader bar to Chrissy, who placed it between my knees. The loop was laid on the floor in front of me, and I stepped into it. Gloria knelt behind me to draw my ankles together while Chrissy tightened the loop, and then the rope was tied to the post to hold my crossed ankles in position.

The stretching cord was then placed over the shaft of my cock and around my balls. As Chrissy stood, she looked into my eyes as if asking for permission to do this to me, and I nodded my head slightly. She then began to pull on the cord to stretch my genitals from my body, finally resorting to again placing one foot on the post to gain the necessary clearance between my body and them.

When sufficient clearance had been gained, a new step in the proceedings was taken. Whereas in my first session on the cross, the crucifixion board was installed at this point, now Gloria looped a wire twice around the stretched flesh, close to my abdomen, and twisted it tight with pliers. She then placed the board in position and closed and fastened it. The cord was then removed and used to secure the board.

I was struck by how quiet the sisters had been during the entire proceedings. In the usual gathering of people, many will be coughing, scratching, or talking on a continuous basis. Here not a sound could be heard.

As my final binding was completed, Chrissy spoke the next part of the ritual, saying, "My beloved husband has come to the cross of his own free will, asking that he be granted the release of his body and mind from those low parts that so enslave men." She then turned to me and continued, "My beloved, what do you wish of me?"

I could see tears glistening in her eyes, and knew that they surely must be in my own. I knew that if I were but to ask, she would release me from this ritual, even though it meant the end to her hopes and dreams of a part in the Sisterhood.

I spoke. "My beloved wife, I have come willingly to the cross, knowing that I cannot achieve the higher plane while encumbered with those parts that make me a man. I ask that you, with your sisters as witnesses, remove those parts from my body."

The sisters watching so raptly all spoke with one voice, "So be it", and my fate was sealed.

Gloria then went to the table beside me and turned the switch on a small electric forge. She placed several irons inside the mouth of the forge so that they could be heating until needed. She then picked up the hammer and one nail from the table and handed it to my wife.

Chrissy took the items and knelt in front of me and waited as Gloria placed her hand on the shaft of my cock and pushed it against the crucifixion board. My genitals were quickly becoming numb due to the wire, and I realized that I was feeling the last touch of a woman's hand on my penis.

Chrissy held the nail up to the underside of my cock head, then looked up at me. As I looked down, I could see that the point was positioned to penetrate the urethra, and knew that the time had come to say goodbye to that part of me that had given me so much pleasure and pain, sometimes both at once. I nodded, and she drew back the hammer and drove the nail completely through and into the board in one blow. One more blow seated the nail firmly in the wood.

The pain was great, but certainly not as much as what I had borne many times before during this fateful year. I knew that the constricting wire was acting as an anaesthetic, and that the drug Joanna had injected would prevent shock. I simply wanted to be free of the things still attached to my crotch, and could bear whatever pain was required to complete that process.

Chrissy stood, and was quickly replaced by Gloria. My wife handed the hammer and another nail to her. She held the nail about one inch below the first, but still in the center of my shaft. She looked up to me and waited for my nod before driving the nail expertly home. Joanna was next, and her nail was placed lower by another inch. Again I had to approve the blow before the nail was driven into the board. Another of the sisters took Joanna's place, and as before the nail was placed one inch lower, and I nodded before it was struck and anchored. In all, seven nails were driven through the urethra and into the crucifixion board before there was a pause.

As the sister stood from her position and returned to her chair, Chrissy once again knelt in front of me. I expected that she would squeeze and stretch my testicles, then place the cords around the balls for stretching them. Instead of doing this, she waited for Gloria to hand her something, which I soon saw was the ceremonial dagger that had been used during the special gift ritual.

Chrissy held the point of the dagger against my sac, then once again looked at me with a question in her eyes. Once again, I nodded, and she then placed her left hand on the sac and raised it as much as possible, given the restriction caused by the small hole in the crucifixion board.

The point of the knife was then inserted a short distance under the skin of the sac, and she repeated the motions that Joanna had used during the gift ceremony. I felt a burning sensation as she moved the point of the dagger, but the pain was bearable. I assume this was due more to the numbness induced by the wire wrapped around my flesh, than any bravery on my part.

Chrissy completed the scoring cut around my sac, then began to lift and peel away the covering flesh. As she freed the first half, she brought it to her lips and kissed it, then handed it to Gloria, who did the same. The piece was then held high as Gloria said, "This man has dedicated this gift to Gaia, and we hereby consign it to the flames of creation." She then placed the flap of skin in the forge, and I could smell it cooking for just a few seconds before it was entirely consumed.

As soon as the first piece disappeared in the flames, Chrissy worked to remove the second. Again the ritual was completed, and the second piece also went to Gaia. I looked down at my balls, revealed now for the first time to my sight. I had expected to see them dangling several inches below their former location, as had happened at the special gift ceremony, but they were less than two inches lower than when in the sac. Apparently so much of the cord had been imprisoned in the stretched flesh between my body and genitals that there was very little left in the sac.

Chrissy then arose, and stood on my right side. Gloria moved to my left. The women reached down to my testes, each taking one in their hand, and then stretching it up and toward them. When they were satisfied with the amount of extension, Chrissy then asked one of the remaining members to drive a nail through the ball she was holding. The sister picked up the hammer and one of the remaining four nails, then held the nail toward the top of the nut and drove it through and into the board. The next sister repeated this nailing in the nut that Gloria was holding. The next two women added a second nail to the lower parts of my balls.

I now could see a total of eleven nails in my cock and balls, and knew that their remaining time on my body was short. I thought that Chrissy would take the knife and make the cut that would remove them, but then remembered the forge and red-hot irons setting beside me. I was sure I could guess their purpose, and tried to summon the strength to get me through the agonizing pain to come.

Chrissy picked up one of the irons and held it before me. I could see that the tip was red hot, and prepared my mind to accept what would soon be done. Tears were running from her eyes as she lowered the tip, stopping a few inches from the head of my penis. The heat from the red-hot iron was noticeable even from that distance, and even with the numbness in my genitals.

She again looked into my eyes, trying for the final time to see if I wanted to be released from this ordeal. I simply nodded, and said, "My beloved wife, you are the dearest thing in the world to me. I ask you to take from me those parts that I have gifted to Gaia."

Chrissy then looked down and slowly guided the iron to the nail that she had driven through the head of my cock such a short time before. She pressed it firmly against the head of the nail, and I immediately felt a rush of pain that far exceeded what I had prepared myself to accept. I screamed a primal sound of fear, rage, and agony. I was close to blackness when suddenly the Creator took pity on me and sent me those natural pain killers that allow us to persevere.

Even as I smelled my roasting flesh, and knew that it was destroyed forever, my soul was rising high above this place. Many people have spoken of out-of-body experiences, and I truly had such a thing happen at that point. However, I was not limited to being merely out of my body, but was immediately lifted to a place out of the world. It were as if I had been placed at some vantage point far above the earth, and given vision far exceeding that of an eagle, or even man's finest telescope.

I saw The Mother's creation slowly turning beneath me. I saw every single creature she had placed there, and saw how so many suffered at the hands of man. I saw men killing men in the name of religion, in the name of love, in the name of nationality, and finally, for no reason whatsoever. I knew the pain The Mother felt as she saw the evil done in her name, and the boundless love she had for all her creations, and the hope she held for them, the hope that someday all her creatures would live in peace.

When I finally returned to my body, I knew the greatest despair possible for man to know. I had been in the presence of The Mother, basking in her grace and her love, and now was returned to this husk that knew only pain, envy, lust, and greed. I prayed that The Mother would take me to her side again, and let me remain there for all time.

Chrissy was looking at me when I returned to consciousness, and I knew that she knew just where I had been, and what I had experienced. I was sure that a long span of time had passed, and couldn't believe the evidence of my eyes when I looked down and saw that the iron was still glowing bright red, and that the flesh of my cock head was just then turning the same color. I watched as it burned, turning brown and sending forth a smell that signalled it would soon be cooked.

When it was evident that the head was dead, Chrissy replaced the iron in the forge and stepped again to my side. Gloria then picked up another of the irons and held it close to me, looking to me for permission to proceed. When I nodded, she placed the iron against the nail she had driven in place, and held it there for the span of time required to cook that section. Chrissy then called forth the other members, and one-by-one they used the irons to heat their nails, and to destroy my genitals.

I watched with interest all these proceedings, and was beyond pain during the entire time. I know that Gaia was there with me, and she was taking my pain and agony into herself, sparing me as she does all those who give themselves truly to her.

As the last iron was replaced in the forge, and it was switched off, Chrissy turned to the watching sisters and said, "You have witnessed my husband come willingly to the cross and give himself to Our Mother, She-Who-Knows. You have seen his manhood destroyed, again with his consent. Witness now his final act of giving."

Gloria again handed the dagger to my wife, who stood beside me holding it high. The cord holding the crucifixion board in place was then removed, and Gloria gripped both sides of it and pulled it away from my body. I knew then that the final stage of the ritual was at hand.

Chrissy placed the edge of the knife on the stretched flesh connecting my body and my genitals, then looked at me. She was no longer crying, and seemed to have achieved a great inner peace, at last accepting that my gifts had been given willingly, and that I too was at peace with the decision.

I again nodded my head, then looked downward. The knife was extremely sharp, and a single slicing motion was all that was required. Chrissy placed the dagger on the table, then took the now-freed board from her friend and lover. I was still looking down at my crotch, and marveled at the strange appearance. No longer were my lifetime companions in their accustomed place. The only thing I could see there now was a small portion of the stretched skin and the wire.

Chrissy reversed the board and held it before me, and I for the first time in my life was able to see my genitals as others had always been able to. I was struck by how such insignificant things could have held such sway over my life for so long. They truly were just "hunks of flesh", and not the end-all and be-all of existence, as so many men believe.

She then turned and displayed the trophy to the other sisters, who broke into applause and cries of approval and acceptance. I was truly one of them now, and felt a kinship I would never have believed possible.

Chrissy and Gloria then removed my bindings and I stood away from the cross. There was never any question of my ability to support myself, to walk to the door, or even to walk to the preparation room. As soon as I was on the examination table, Joanna entered the room. She didn't pause to kiss Chrissy as before, but immediately came to my side. She said, simply, "You are one of us now. We love you as we love ourselves, and as we love The Mother. Welcome."

I raised my arms to her, and we hugged and kissed. The love I felt then for her, for my wife and her lover, for all the sisters, for all mankind, and for Gaia, was the most fulfilling thing I had ever known.

Joanna than tended to my wound. She had to drain blood with a syringe as before, since my body was still trying to force blood into my penis to maintain its erection. It hadn't yet accepted the fact that function was no longer needed. As she removed the wire and sealed the wound, Joanna spoke of the great things to come when Chrissy and I were at the head of the chapter, and then later as we assumed our rightful places of leadership over all of La Crucifems.

She had collected approximately two pints of my blood during the weeks preceding the ceremony, and transfused them now, returning the blood to my body to replace that lost with my genitals, and that extracted to reduce the pressure in my groin. When she had finished that procedure, she injected me with a drug. Her final act was to again hug me, then to say, "Sleep now. Your ordeal is finished, and you are truly one with The Mother."

I slept.

______________________________

Epilogue

It has now been two years since the last event detailed in the account above. My darling Chrissy has for one year's time been the Grand Mistress of this chapter of La Crucifems, and I have been at her side as her Consort. We have learned much during these two fast-moving years, and our Sisterhood here in this city, and indeed throughout the world, has grown by leaps and bounds.

I had no faint idea of the vast reach and power of La Crucifems until I too became a part and instrument of that power. I learned that a former President of this country was also a Consort, and tried to do everything in this power to serve the Sisterhood. That chapter in our history revealed to us just how little power, other than to make war, that a President actually has.

Since that time, the Sisterhood has concentrated on either electing sisters to the congress, or of bringing already-elected members under our sway. Now several members of the congress of this country are either under the control of the Sisterhood, are husbands of sisters, or are regular visitors to their torture chambers. You would be surprised how humorous it is to the sisters to hear a certain politician being referred to by the media as the "Majority Whip".

I learned that mayors, councilmen, commissioners, and others in positions of power are either sisters, husbands of sisters, or directly in their control. I learned of at least thirty heads of foreign countries who are under our influence. I learned the extent of the riches and wealth controlled by our organization, and which can be, and have been, used to sway votes and opinions. In short, La Crucifems is well on the way to achieving its goal of assuring that mankind will return to the true path of enlightenment as shown us by The Mother, She-Who-Knows.

My own petty life is no longer the focus of my soul. I have come to realize that there really is such a thing as a "greater good", and that achieving it is a worthy goal. More than ever, I have dedicated my life to that goal.

This dedication does not mean that I love my dearly beloved any less. Quite the opposite, I believe that our love is deeper now than ever before. She still finds sexual release in the arms of her lovers, and I still am transfixed with joy as I watch or join in their couplings.

In short, I am happy. I am fulfilled, in many more ways than ever would have been possible had I remained nothing more than a man. Envy me, you "normal" men. You have no concept of the joy to be found beyond sex as men think of it. Women have always known that love is much more than lust, and I at last have gained that knowledge also.

_________________________________________

Afterword

When I learned that my husband and Consort was writing our story, and even more, posting it on the Internet, I at first thought to forbid him from doing such a thing. Then I realized that it is not in my power to forbid him anything. It is striking how much true power he has in the Sisterhood now, as a result of his acceptance of Gaia. He is truly loved by all us, and for that alone I would not try to forbid him to do what he wishes to do. Even more, it is simply not within my power as Grand Mistress to control the actions of my Consort. His office is a power unto itself, and not under my direction. Since he now controls virtually all our financial activities, it would be truthful to say that he is the head of our Sisterhood. How very ironic that a man would be once again in control of us, we whose prime goal is to return mankind to the control of The Mother, She-Who-Knows.

Even more important as a reason for not trying to prevent my husband from publishing his tale is the fact that he is as security-conscious as any of us. The names he has used in his story are all fictitious, and I have read every word many times to see if any reader could determine our identities from the clues therein. You certainly wouldn't find a listing for "La Crucifems" in the yellow pages of your telephone book, and most men simply haven't the mental capacity to do anything beyond that.

I believe that we are safe from prying eyes. I did insist that my Consort use a proxy service to submit the story, and our computer-security expert says that should be protection enough against those who would seek to do any sort of trace. Indeed, even if a reader possessing more intelligence than any man could possess (in other words, a woman) were to decipher the story and learn the identities of ourselves or any sister, our security service would soon take care of the matter. Every potentate in history has known that eunuchs make the best harem guards, and the Sisterhood is no different. Our corps of neutered males lives to serve us, and will carry out even the most extreme of orders. If you seek to find us, or to harm us, beware. The Sisterhood will defend itself.

After my reading of his story, I believe that my beloved husband has given a factual account to the best of his memory. As I said, all names have been changed, and his recollections of conversations differ from mine in only very minor detail. He truly did crave torture, and I truly did crave to torture him. I still would crave to do it, only his ability to enjoy it was taken from him by my hands. That is the only part of the episode that I truly regret.

The End