Linda's Wish - Part 2 (closing)

The other members of the community were stunned. They asked: how could you wish such a thing ! To amputate two completely healthy and beautiful feet and legs….Also Petra didn’t understand: how could you, she cried.

Linda tried to explain: I feel complicated inside. I feel attracted to women, therefore I choose to live with Petra. I still feel attracted to women. However, more and more I realised that I do not feel comfortable in my body. That I have no relation with my own ‘female’ sexual parts, in fact I hated them already when I was a student.

So when I started to live naked and without breasts and genitals, I first thought that was what I wanted. Living with persons in al male body turned out to be no problem either, as long as their male genitals and male sex-drive were gone. Most men don’t want this, but as you remember especially the ‘soft’ men who felt strongly negative about their male role and male body were the ones who decided that they would enter in this community and have the body changes were require for men. The women that stayed, had their own reasons to have their body so radically altered, mostly because they don’t wish to have their female sexual organs, and want to get rid of them.

I had for myself still another reason why I want to live like this. I felt also that in this way, living in a community, being naked and without male or female sexual organs, I could serve God in my daily life best. That is was this way God loved me most, and could come as near as God as possible.

The others reacted surprised: religion was never an issue in our group, or one of the reasons why we should live we choose to.

Linda answered: that’s true, but we never discussed it either. So I thought I was the only one I felt this way, so I never started to talk about. Religious visions about body, nakedness and sexuality are mosly burdened with shame, and as you all know shame about nakedness or our sexual organs was never a reason for us to start the way we live now. I didn’t to want it to interfere either. The others understood.

But Linda added, I still haven’t answered your questions about amputating such beautiful legs and feet. It’s a little bit strange to say, but I just get very aroused and horny about having my both legs amputated…

Karin, another women from the group, cried out: you said you’d give up your sexual feelings, and that all the members of this group should do that. And that we therefore shuold have cut off our breasts, and cut out and sew shut our pussies. And now you tell us you want to have your legs amputed because it turns you on ? When I gave up my sexual organs I had my pussy, after it was sewn shut with titanium wire, overcasted with fluid iron, to maime my pussy once more and to have a return to normality for ever impossible !

Frank a male groupmember, added; when I gave up my penis, balls and sac I had them burned away with fire, and I made a solemn promise to give up my male role and sexuality, and now you come with this ?

Petra, Linda’s girlfriend, added: when you’d said that you wanted your serve your God in perfect humility, and therefore you wanted to live naked and without genitalia and sexuality, and that you discovered that in fact you still were proud because of the decisions you’d made, and you’d want to serve your God in more perfect humility, and therefore you’d give up your beautiful feet and legs to your God, just as you’ve given up your breasts and your slit, then I would understand. Because that’s true. But what you want now is outrageous !

Karin added: what you need is a hysterectomy and removal of your ovaries ! That’s all !

Linda started to cy, and sobbed: may I please think this night about what you said ? May we continue to talk tomorrow about it ?

The others agreed.

That night Linda thought about the things that had been said. She realised that the things about getting horny and turened on were right, and were contradictory with the promises and sacrifices they had all made. But then again: she felt that she wanted to serve her God in greater humility, and that she wanted to sacrifice het legs to her God…

Then she felt how eager she had been to be standing on the field of their ecological farm, to work there all day, naked, in the summer in the blistering heat of the sun, in the autumn in the storms and rain and in the winter in the frost. And that she would give up all this. And then she felt that she could still stay outside the year around, and feel the same things with her body, also when she had have her legs amputated…

Next morning, when all the groupmembers had gathered for the discussion, Linda quickly made clear that the others were right. But, she insisted: I’m okay to have a hysterectomy and removal of my ovaries, when I in the same time can have my legs amputated. After some discussion everybody agreed, although many didn’t understand why she was so eager to loose het legs.

Linda stayed several weeks in the hospital. Afterwards she had to be cared for several months at home. In the beginning the amputated limbs were very sensitive, but as everything healed well, after some months she was almost painfree. She wanted to be more and more outside, on the grass or in the woods, where she left het weelingchair and was laying or sitting in the grass all day or laying or sitting in the woods.

She watched the changes in nature carefully, and felt eventually the peace in het soul she had so desperately searched for: now she could serve her God in the most perfect humility: naked, outside in nature, without internal and external genitals and without her feet and legs. She was very happy.

Karin, Petra and Frank felt somewhat different. On the day Linda went to the hospital for the amputations they found comfort with each other, and decided that they would sleep together, the three of them. A desexed body didn’t mean to have no need for human warmth and companionship. So they did, and then they felt some rest.

End…