Kathy's Dare (semi-satirical)

Woman chops off a stranger's dick for a dare

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*Kathy's dare* by Turdos III

Kathy was a radical anarchist, who hated everything establishment.
Susie was her friend, a real thinker.
One night Kathy and Susie found themselves in a stupid capitalist bar 
with some friends, less philosophical types.
Susie remarked how if either of them went up to one of the men they 
could easily have sex with them without the man needing any further 
information beyond availability.
Kathy, not being quite the cynic that Susie was, refuted this.
A dare was hatched.
Kathy would try it on with a man of her choice. If he attempted to 
gain some depth, she would date him - if he agreed to bed her 
immediately she would off his cock.

And this is how it went:
She looked around; mainly studs with manly chests and preened-up hair.
Pretty dull if you're not into that.
Couple of blokes with glasses, promising.
Beautiful blonde, couldn't possibly walk up to him and ask for sex.
Older type, probably laugh at me.
There, that one, the ginger with the smirk. I wonder if he'd be daft 
enough to fall for it. Then again maybe Susie's wrong and people 
aren't that shallow. Dammit, I'll try him.

So she goes over to the lad's lad, strides up cool as a cumcuber(sic),
snogs him right in the mouth.
Course he's shitting it, but he gets into gear and kisses her back with 
a passion.After all it's not every night he gets an unsolicited snog.
Takes all his time to get one when he's trying.

And she breaks off, holding his tie like in the movies, and asks 
straight out, does he want a pork?
By now matey-boy is on a role and he says a straight-out yes, cold 
and clinical like a typical male chauvinist, even though that's not 
really what he is.

Susie gives Kathy that told-you-so look the smug cow is so good at, 
and she knows she has to take this tosser back to her place and do 
away with his piece of flesh, just like in the Bobbit pages at BME.

Susie's in pursuit, unbeknownst to mister johnny come lately, whose 
name, Kathy finds, is Tom. Tom tit, should be, Kathy thinks to herself, 
full of contempt for this conformist prat and his male arrogance.
What kind of a twat goes home with a person straight off without even 
asking her name? It took until the cab for him to introduce himself!

The cab arrives.The driver didn't crash, in spite of Thomas' ridiculously 
public groping of the hot young glasses-chick in the back with those 
fuck-me-creatively shoes on that all the young office girls wear in 
the UK.

Kathy gets out, so does Tom, so does Susie from hers, three spaces 
behind.
Kathy approaches the door to her flat with the young scally in tow,
wondering slightly what he'll think to her Proudhon, Engels and 
Bakunin.
Nothing at all, she quips inwardly - he probably thinks books are for 
kids. The last thing he read was probably Peter Rabbit.
Well, Roger Red Hat more like.
(The closest Kathy and Susie get to Roger Red Hat is GNU!)

Kathy and Tom proceed pretty swiftly to the bedroom in actual fact, 
so the Krapotkin volumes don't get the chance to speak volumes to 
the young shaver-me-lad ginger. In fact the only thing swaying him 
is the tremor of adrenaline-fuelled shakes at such an erotic and 
unexpected adventure. Christ, this woman wants sex, without knowing 
who I even am really; she must be a right shallow slapper, in spite 
of those cool shoes!
Nice bedroom though, tasteful, not like most promiscueuses, quite 
brainy-looking really. I might quote her some of that dull Wordsworth 
shite I did for crummy English A-Level. Then again maybe not.
Birds who pick people like me up don't know that sort of thing.
I'll try some cheesy porno-lines instead.

'So Kathy, the room's pretty clean, do you want to clean my pipe?'
The humour of the line doesn't escape our Kath, but she knows she has 
to keep him interested so she stifles a chuckle and instead simply 
drops her knickers.Plop.Down they go.Look, no hands! 
That has got to be the sexiest gesture ever, thinks Susie, who's 
watching the pair through the glass door. Shit, I hope this twat 
doesn't turn and run or he'll catch me and the game will be up!

Now a small-town lad like Tom on a night in the city with all its 
attendant expectations knew what to do when a girl dropped her 
pants! Out came the old todger, fresh to the evening air(the window 
was open - she didn't overheat her place - overheat the house, 
undercook the mind.)
No worries, the precum wasn't showing. How embarassing when spunk 
drools like spittle from your foreskin in front of a new girl.
Tonight though, the helmet was behaving.
'Let's fuck' he said, deadpan as ever.
But instead she pulled a pair of scissors out of her side-cupboard 
and walked towards him looking evilly horny.
'Whoah', he thought, 'how did she know I was like that?'
Of course, we know she didn't!
'Suse, you can come in now, you were right you old cynic, they ARE 
all pigs after a wallow in the cunt!'
Susie wasn't sure about actually maiming a real person, and she 
said so to Kathy, in terms of the dare being done already.

But no, Kathy's cunt was wet from dropping her knickers like that 
and snogging for the first time in a week.
This party was going to end like in the deal.

'Who are you?' said Tom to Susie.
'Your saviour' she replied, and took the scissors off Kathy.
But Kathy was in the mood now, and she slipped the skirt off, 
revealing her somewhat aromatic twadger to the pair of shocked 
people.
'Put it away Kathy', said Susie, disgusted at her friend for getting 
the old girl out in front of her. You can't do things like that!
'No way, I brought this little nerk here and I'm going to fuck him, 
with or without a dick!'
Tom was worried at this point. The air of sex had gone a bit with him, 
and he was just scared. His dick had shrunk to a mockery of its 
former attitude, and the precum was sure enough dripping out onto 
Kathy's nice black carpet. Shit.
Or should I say _Susie_'s nice black carpet!!! Susie owned the flat.
Kathy was renting.
Now all of Susie's anarchism vapourised, and in her rage she chopped 
the filthy slimy thing off in one short sharp shearing.
'Aaaargh!' says Tom, in obvious pain, and Kathy can't believe her eyes.
'You stupid bitch!' she shouts, and Susie twigs what she's done and 
just keeps saying 'shit' really quiet and what-do-I-do-now style.

By now the carpet's really fucked, with Tom's blood all over it.
Heck, there's even claret on the bedspread. What a fuck-up!
'Oh well, while we're at it we might as well deball him' says Suse,
all in control and mentally sound.
'Yeah well it's my bloody turn, you minge,' says Kate, and grabs 
the scissors.
Tom's still shitting it, not sure whether to pass out, cry, or say 
something.
No time for that, the trousers are off fully and Kathy grabs hold 
of his sack, bunches the balls downward so that there's a sacky region 
inbetween the balls and the rest of Thomas 'Soon-to-be-a-Eunuch' 
Pickup Boy, and slices through.It takes three snips to off them, as 
the flesh rides up into the groove of the scissors without cutting, 
and by now Susie's openly masturbating at what her friend's doing, 
with her twadger out and all.
'If you're gonna have a wank, get it out and let me see,' says Kathy,
and her obliging friend, well, obliges.

Two women, fannies out, his genitals all but gone, and him a cutting 
fantaseur! What a weird privelege.

'There's still a stump of cock left' says Susie, from where she'd 
penectomised him with his kex on.
'OK, no sooner said than cut' smirks Kathy, and removes the remaining 
half-inch log of willie.
'Look, there's his severed penis!' she says, and Susie turns to look 
at that for her moment of release.Mmm, not bad, we'll have to do a few 
more of these lads so that I can look at the knob while I wank!
'Pick it up, Suse, stick it up your fanny!' says Kathy, playful now, 
and totally into the mood.
'Yeah, fuck yourself' says Tom, and she does.


THE END

PS. Notice how the tone goes from serious to not quite!
Sorry about that, but we need a few lighter looks at the subject 
from time to time!
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