Karen and I (part 1)

know why... Everything seemed pretty good, there where some

challenges, but I was always a hard working honest and dedicated

husband. One day I found out that she was having an affair with

some big moron that had just got out of prison. She married him

before the ink was dry on our divorce. I hear her life is hell now.

Well, I'm a resilient man, really. After a couple years of

being sad about the whole thing I realized that I had to look for

the positives and find a new happy life. And I did just that. We

had married very young and I never got a chance to go have any

adventures, and now that I am free... Man, have I had some

adventures. I've always been very open minded about sex, so I

set about finding partners to do kinky stuff with. My wife was

great in bed. A wonderful fuck with a huge sexy clit and large

puffy nipples so sensitive, I regularly made her cum just by kissing

them. Outside of that, she was rather plain vanilla when it came

to sex. I tried to introduce her to a few of my more tame

fantasies, but I only had limited success. She did have her nipples

pierced for my pleasure, but that cost me a whole new living

room set and years of worshipping her generosity. I didn't mind.

I loved it all.

I started sexual activity pretty early in life and quickly

became accustomed to the unusual. I wrote an article about it

titled "Why" and posted it to BME a couple years back. It

explains a lot about my early sex life and how I got interested in

BME. There lay the seeds that became my fascination with

castration. After my divorce, I took my new found sexual

freedom (and lack of a girl friend) and turned to jerking off

regularly. I could fantasize about anything I wanted and I found

incredible amounts of material at the eunuch archives that drove

me wild with sexual energy. Stories like "The Competition",

"Chance to impregnate wife lost", "Cowboy and Indians" and

"Brian's Birthday" are some of my favorites.

As my fantasies grew, so did my desired for castration.

Eventually I went seeking a partner to help play out my fantasies.

Up until now I have kept this only as a fantasy. It makes for hot

jerk off play and mind candy, but I didn't really want to go

through with it... at least I didn't think I did. Part of me really

wanted it, and part of me wanted to stay "normal". I'm still a bit

in shock about what happened, but here I am today calling a

doctor and setting up an appointment at the urology clinic.

I dialed the number and the receptionist answered.

"Mountain View Clinic, this is Brenda, how can I help you?"

"I need to set an appointment to see a doctor" I replied.

"Which Doctor do you normally see?" Brenda asked.

"I'm a new patient"

"Oh, That's fine, what do you need to see the doctor

about?"

At this point I was unwilling to be too specific to the

receptionist, so I just generalized... "I have a groin injury that

needs looked at."

"Oh, My" said Brenda "If this is an emergency, you should

go to the main hospital emergency room".

"No, no," I replied. "Its okay, it's not an emergency... not

life threatening or anything... Happened yesterday in fact, but I

just thought that a doctor should look at it"

"Okay," Brenda continued. There was a pause as she

checked the register, then she said "Your in luck, there was a

cancellation earlier today, Dr. Barnes can see you this afternoon

at three, would that be okay?"

"That'd be great" I replied. After giving her my name and

the basic info, I said, "I'll see you then." and I hung up the phone.

The afternoon passed slowly, but I was finally there a few

minutes before three. After meeting Brenda face to face I got all

the health history and insurance forms filled out and waited for

the doctor. Why does it always take so long to see the doctor? It

was 3:20 when I was finally in the doctor's exam room and he

came in.

"So, what seems to be the trouble today? Says here you

had a groin injury?" the doctor asked.

Well, at this time I figure that there is no reason to be shy

or evasive. I mean, after all, if he's going to help me he has to see

what's happened.

"I've been castrated" I said.

The doctor briefly gave me this look that said 'Say that

again?', but after a moment he said "Well, lets have a look..."

He instructed me to remove my jeans and briefs and lay

down on the table. While I did this he was putting on some of

those rubber gloves that doctors always use nowadays. I finished

disrobing and jumped back up onto the examination table and laid

down with my knees over the end. I spread my legs apart just

enough that my cock dropped down between them. When the

doctor turned to me he lowered an examination lamp so that he

could see better and very gently lifted my cock up and lay it down

pointing up at my head. There, underneath, was a three inch row

of stitches where once had been my scrotum and balls. The

doctor noted that the wound had been expertly tended to and

with a look of curiosity on his face he asked "How did you do

this?"

"I didn't" I replied. Thinking he might believe me to be

sick in the head or bent on self destruction, I continued "I had

some help..."

"Where you attacked?" he asked, not half sure of the

answer he would get. I don't think that he had ever seen or heard

of recreational castration. Only a sick person would do this to

himself or another, but those carefully tended stitches confused

him. "How did this happen?"

"Well..." I began, not sure how much detail I should give

him. "Lets just say that a fantasy game with my girlfriend got out

of hand..."

My mind raced back to the beginning of my relationship

with Karen. I met her on the internet after placing an ad in the

adult personals on BME for a lady to play castration games with.

After several weeks, and a few responses that were obvious

kooks that I did not reply to, I got a letter from Karen. She

seemed sincere and said that she had fantasized about nutting a

guy, but no one that she knew would play along, even though she

just wanted to play. After exchanging notes with her for a week,

I asked where she lived and much to my surprise I found out that

she was only 30 miles away.

Like me, she too had fantasized about castration since she

was a young teen, but kept it pretty quiet till now. We'd both had

years to think about it and were terribly excited to finally have

someone to talk to about it. After another week or so, I offered

to meet her at a coffee shop, she reluctantly agreed.

I didn't want to scare her off, so I planned to just meet

her, buy her a latte, talk and then politely say good-bye. I was the

first to get there and was waiting at the specified table. When she

walked up to me and said my name, I just about fainted. She had

dark brown hair down to her breasts. A pretty "girl next door"

look about her and a beautiful figure for a woman in her mid 30's.

Not thin by any stretch, but not at all fat, she was about 5'6" and

145 lb., but those breasts... wow. They had to be E's or F's or

something. I was paralyzed by her looks. Not a pinup model, but

my dream girl, none the less.

I tried to regain my composure and asked her what she

wanted from the coffee bar.

"Oh, just a mocha would be great" she said.

"Done" I fired back, and ordered her drink and mine. Not

wanting to talk in front of the girl behind the counter, there was

an awkward silence as we waited for our drinks. When we got

them we sat back down in the corner and began to talk about

each other. Fear of scaring her away kept me from saying

anything about her looks or how appealing I found her, so we

stuck to the basics until we started talking about what brought us

together. She was 36 and divorced. Her marriage only lasted 4

years and she had no children. She told me that it was her fantasy

that drove him off. She described him only as a good man, but

after one night when she dropped the hint of her fantasy, he was

really put off about it. Over about a year, he grew colder and

then one day he just left with no excuse. She had come to the

conclusion that he had told his friends about it and that they had

convinced him to get the hell out before she really did it to him.

She had a boyfriend or two since then, but the same thing

happened to them, only much faster. Since then her sex life

consisted of reading stories on BME and fingering herself to

sleep.

"So just how far do you want this fantasy to go?" I asked

her.

"Well, it IS just a fantasy. I mean, why not act it out all

the way. If you are not serious about actually doing it, then, if

you have a safety net,... hell, I say have fun with it." she said.

"That's about how I feel too. I was thinking, you could

just say things to your lover while your having sex like 'Oh, baby,

I wanna cut your nuts off' and maybe that would be enough for

some folks. I would want to go all the way with the fiction, you

know? Tie me up, put a knife on my balls, swear you will do it

and love you for doing it to me and all that stuff... try to really

live the fantasy"

"But would you really go through with it?" she asked.

"I have a policy." I explained. "This is a pretty powerful

fantasy for me, and I've jerked off a lot thinking about it. But

after I cum and the haze of horniness is lifted, I'm always glad I

didn't actually do it. I've done this with other fantasies about

maybe cutting my dick or something. I've even gone so far as to

build elaborate gadgets in my shop to cut off or mutilate my cock

and balls, even put my dick in the machine and held the trigger

but I never actually do it and after I've blown the wad, I'm always

glad that I didn't do it. I say that if you don't want it AFTER

you've cum, then it should stay a fantasy. If you still want it

afterwards, maybe you should go ahead and do it."

"That sounds logical" she added.

"And I still have my balls, so,... "

We chatted a bit longer and as I promised myself, we said

good-bye and parted promising to write as soon as we got home.

We continued writing, chatting and meeting each other for

afternoon lunches for a couple weeks until we both decided that it

was safe enough for us to go on an actual date. When I picked

her up at her place, she looked stunning in a rather form fitting

full length dress with a neckline that didn't exactly plunge, but it

showed that sexy line up the middle where her boobs pressed

together. Cleavage. God, I love cleavage. I tried not to stare,

but it was hard. She knew I was looking, but didn't say anything,

she just giggled. I had yet to tell her I was a breast man, but I

think that she had figured it out and was impressed with my good

manners about it.

As dinner went on, the talk again turned to the fantasy

that brought us together.

"So,..." she began. "What do you think about, maybe

sometime, you and I,..." She paused almost afraid to ask, even

though she had to know the answer would be yes. "I mean, If

you wanted to act out this fantasy, would you want to do it with

me?"

She bit her lower lip still afraid that I'd react like all the

other men she breached the subject with. They had all reacted

quite manly and said she was nuts to ask. But now she was with

me.

"Honey, I'd give my nuts do it with you" I said,

momentarily unaware of the pun I had made out of one of my old

standard phrases, but then we both laughed about it.

She smiled brightly at me and said "when would you want

to try it?"

"Anytime"

"How about tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Yes, Tonight, when you take me home, we can play a

little bit...."

"Okay..." I said, not quite believing I had agreed so

readily. "Tonight."

We changed the subject of conversation as we finished our

dinner and wine. We had made no plans for after dinner, but I

was thinking maybe a movie. She said that she really didn't want

to go to a movie and suggested that we go on back to her place.

I knew exactly what she meant. A felt like a schoolboy getting

his first chance to play doctor with a girl behind the barn. So

anxious, so happy, so completely unsure as to just exactly what

was about to happen, but wanting it badly just the same.

When we were at her house we got more wine and sat

down to talk about what we were about to do. As we sat on the

couch, she kept petting me on the thigh as we got the courage up

to do something. Then all of a sudden she got up and said "I have

something to show you."

She went over to the bookshelf and got out a video

cassette and put it in the VCR. Turning it and the TV on, she

picked up the remote and sat down next to me again. As the

movie started, I immediately realized that we were not watching

an ordinary porn film. It's lack of adds for 1-900 lines was one

clue, the obvious amateur quality was another. It was a home

made S&M film that had a guy getting shackled and tormented by

an attractive dominatrix. The man was tied over a pommel in a

way that exposed his cock and balls well behind him.

"I'm not really into all this leather, whip me, hurt me

stuff." Karen said. "But there's something on this tape that will

just blow your mind"

"I don't go for that 'hurt me' stuff either. Do you know

any of these people?" I asked.

"No, I bought this tape over the internet... watch this..."

We watched, patiently waiting through all the whipping

and humiliation, not at all amused, but willing to endure it for

what was to come. The poor helpless man in the movie was

restrained beyond any movement. The mistress said something

about it being time for him. The sound quality was poor, but the

picture was decent. The raven haired and masked lady took a

familiar instrument in one hand. It looked like a large pair of

pliers, but I knew exactly what it was. I have one myself for

playtime. She opened the elastrator and placed a green band on

the man's balls and pushed it up as close to his cock as she could

before releasing it. Then she took another band and did the same

thing with it, this time placing it lower down on his scrotum. It

was a large and loose scrotum and even though he had two bands

placed with a distance between them the sac still hung loosely

below his cock.

The torturing then went on for quite a while after that.

Needles in his cock and balls. Clamps on his nipples, the works.

By now the man's balls had turned dark blue almost black when

mistress came back with a very sharp knife. Karen was obviously

aroused at this time and I noticed my cock jumped straight up at

the sight of the knife. Mistress taunted him and forced him to beg

her till she'd had enough. Then she grabbed his balls and slowly,

ceremoniously placed it between the two bands on his scrotum

and began sawing. Skin parted. My heart pounded, Karen

moaned, I think she was cumming. Hands pulled, a drop of blood,

then finally, the knife dropped and mistress held her prize in her

hands. A real live severed human scrotum with balls inside. The

man lay there whimpering as she rolled the band off the bag and

fished out one of his balls, then popped it in her mouth. The view

went to the man's cock... only a green band and a stump where

his balls had once been. Then the camera held a close up of

mistress licking the severed balls and scrotum in her hands as it

faded out and the film was over.

I was shaking. Karen was breathing hard. My god... I'd

never actually seen that happen before! I actually felt envious of

both the man in the film and the mistress too.

Karen broke the silence... "So, you want me to do that to

you?"

"Well, the fantasy is there... God, that was such a turn on!

I just don't think I actually want to be castrated. Not yet anyway,

but man...wow... "

"We can just pretend." Karen said. "I know that it would

be more than just a fantasy for you... I mean, afterwards, your

sexlife would be over, and who wants that?"

"Not me." I said "But really, you can get replacement

hormones and still function. That's what makes me think about

letting someone do that to me. I don't want to be a sexless

eunuch, I just want my balls cut off... But I can do without all

that 'hurt me, hurt me' stuff. I wanted something more sexy and

loving"

Karen thought about it for a moment and said "We'll just

have to figure something out then." and with that she leaned over

and kissed me on the mouth. I returned her kiss passionately as

we began groping about on the couch. Our hands were all over

each other and I was thinking about those great tits of hers when

she got up suddenly and said "Lets go to the bedroom."

I didn't have to be asked again. We walked in, she closed

the door, then spun me around and pushed me down on the bed.

I sat there looking at her. She backed up a bit and slowly began

taking off her dress. She moved sensuously as she slipped off the

shoulder straps and unbuttoned the back, letting it drop to the

floor revealing her beautiful body in bra and panties. She then

slipped off her panties, saving the bra for last, knowing full well

that that was the jewel in the crown for me. Her pussy was

perfect and her hair was surprisingly straight and silky for pubes.

She came closer to me and began unbuttoning my shirt,

then slipped it off. Then my undershirt and my belt. She stopped

only for a moment to pull my boots from my feet and then

opened my jeans and tugged. I lifted up off of the bed enough for

her to slide my jeans and briefs off in one yank. Now naked

before her, she pushed me back to the bed and lowered her mouth

to my cock. Kissing the already rigid underside, she licked her

way down to my balls and took them up in her hands. She sucked

them into her mouth one at a time and then asked "Do you want

me to take these from you?" in a low breathy voice.

"Yes, Karen. Yes. I want you to cut my balls off" I

moaned in total exstacy.

Karen continued sucking my cock and balls roughly,

pulling hard on my balls, occasionally hissing "I'm gonna castrate

you... I'm gonna cut your balls off of you..... Your gonna loose

those balls real soon......"

I was dizzy with desire and passion. Then Karen climbed

up over me, straddled my face and whispered "My turn." I knew

what she wanted. I stuck my tongue out and thrust it into her

bush looking for her clit. I found it quickly and she adjusted her

hips to make it easy for me to get just the spot she wanted.

Invisible under her long silky pubes, it was good sized and I

sucked it into my mouth like a starving baby looking for a tit.

Her tits. Oh, God, her gorgeous tits! As I sucked her clit and

drove my tongue deep into her pussy, she moaned and writhed,

then finally, she reached behind her to unclasp her bra strap. My

tongue was planted firmly in her hole and my eyes firmly on her

breasts. Her bra released from behind with a snap, but she held it

in place just a little longer. As she held her boobs and her bra

covering them, she began to shudder and she pushed her pussy

into my face more firmly. Her head went back and she began to

moan. Low at first, then more frantic as I responded to her

building orgasm by grasping her ass with my hands and massaging

her clit with my lips, teeth and tongue. In another moment, she

stiffened hard and cried out. One arm was clutching her boobs

and with the other she reached down behind my head to help push

my face into her pussy hard. She gasped and panted frantically as

she milked the orgasm for all she could get, until she finally

relaxed.

Letting go of my head, she began slowly rocking her

pussy over my mouth back and forth gently loving every bit she

could. She took a deep breath and said "Your turn".

She crawled back down off of my face, amazingly still

clutching her boobs and her bra. She got into position and

reached behind her to grab my now dripping 8" cock, pointing it

at her soaking wet pussy. Without warning she found the spot

and plopped down hard onto my cock, driving it all the way home

in one thrust.

"Oh, God!" I moaned as I reached up to her ribs and

thrust my cock as deep into her pussy as it would go. She was

tighter than I expected and her pussy seemed to be drawing me in.

"Oh!!!" she cried out as I found the bottom of her pussy

with the tip of my throbbing cock. Then she leaned forward on

her free hand and said "I bet I know what you just can't live

without...."

I looked up at her, not saying a word, yet pleading with

my eyes. She smiled as I continued to thrust into her pussy and

finally, she let loose of her boobs and pulled her bra off. Her tits

dangled right in my face, but she held them away for just a

moment more. They were absolutely beautiful. Full, round and

real. Her areolas were huge and dark, her nipples as big as my

thumb. A few stretch marks adorned the sides, but hell, I love

those too. Karen swung her massive mammaries in front of me

for just a moment then she dropped down, placing one nipple

squarely in my waiting mouth. I sucked it in instantly. I had

never had such a large nipple in my mouth. I was in heaven and

was nearing orgasm when Karen managed to reach around behind

herself, grabbing my balls as I drove my cock in and out of her

sopping wet hole. She encircled them with her fingers and when

she had a good grip, she squeezed them for all she was worth and

whispered "I'm gonna cut your balls off when we're done".

That was all I could take. I immediately erupted in

orgasm. Driving my cock in one last time as deep as I could get

it, I felt it bottom out again as my cum started gushing into her in

massive waves. Four, five, six... how many spurts I placed into

her I can't remember, but each time I squirted, I sucked her nipple

hard and she pulled my balls even harder.

"Oh, YES!!!" she screamed. "Cum in me! Cum in me! I'll

castrate you! I'm gonna castrate you!!" Her boobs flopped on

my face as my body wracked like I was hit by lightning. Karen

began cumming again too as my sperm started running out of her

pussy and she pulled my balls hard. She bucked back at me

forcing my rigid body to be her dildo for one last gasping orgasm

before I collapsed underneath her. A moment later she too

relaxed and released my balls. We were both panting and gasping

for air for several moments before we both looked into each

other's eyes and we knew that we would be doing this for some

time to come. We kissed passionately, embracing and smothering

each other until we were too exhausted to move. With our last

bit of energy, we pulled the covers over us and fell asleep in each

others arms. The last thing I remember before morning was

Karen whispering, half asleep "... wanna castrate you....."

The next morning we woke, still in the same position as

we fell asleep. We kissed and then I sucked her tits some more.

"Did I ever tell you I was just fucking nuts about big tits?"

I asked.

"I kinda figured that out already" Karen smiled. We got

up and showered. Cum ran out of her pussy most of the morning.

"Jeez, how much cum did you put up there?" she jokingly

asked.

"All of it" I replied, as I handed her a washcloth.

"You know, we should have used birth control last night."

"We did" I told her "I had a vasectomy after my last

daughter was born."

"Ooohh... That's great!" she said with an evil grin. "That

means that you really don't need those balls after all!" She moved

closer to me and squeezed my balls through my clothes

whispering again "I'm really gonna cut your balls off....."

I kissed her passionately again and said "How about we

have some practice runs first?"

"Of course babe, of course..." she kissed me.

We went out to breakfast after that and tried to talk about

something other than sex and castration. It wasn't too hard. As it

turns out, Karen and I were a pretty good match for a couple

even out of bed. We both wanted the same things out of life, had

the same values. We were both well liked and respected in our

work and among friends, but despite rather conservative fronts,

we hid our sexual fantasies behind closed bedroom doors. I

couldn't believe my luck finding her. I thought perhaps there was

a reason my wife left after all... so that I could find Karen.