Chapter 11: At the Burrow

When told the sleeping arrangements after arriving at the Burrow -- that he'd be sleeping with his brother -- Colin said, "I want to sleep with Harry."

"There's only one bed in Harry's room," Mrs. Weasley said.  "There wouldn't be room."

Colin answered, "That's all right.  Harry and I --"

Knowing that the next words out of Colin's mouth would be, "sleep together," Harry interrupted, saying, "Sleep with your brother, Colin.  You might not see him for a while after we leave." 

"Colin opened his mouth -- apparently to protest -- but Mrs. Weasley said, "That's settled then," in a tone that left no room for argument.  She had raised six boys and booked no nonsense from them. 

Harry was glad to have a room by himself.  Colin could be too much at times; but Harry had assumed responsibility for him.  Colin loved him -- had from the first moment, apparently -- and Harry had made love to him. 

He wasn't certain the boy could recover from being rejected by him, especially after all he'd lost, his parents and his genitals.  Harry was his world.  Colin had no one else.  It was a big responsibility --though not as big as being the Chosen One, the destroyer of Voldemort.  It differed from that, in some ways even more frightening; he had the responsibility for Colin's happiness.  One wrong word form him could cast the boy into despair.

He cared for the boy, feeling responsible for his loss, as he felt responsible for the castration of the other boys, but he couldn't say he loved him.  Not as he had loved Ginny.  Sex with Ginny had been an expression of love.  Sex with Colin had been just sex.  He had been horny and Colin had been an attractive, willing partner.

It wouldn't have been wrong -- except Colin thought it meant Harry loved him. 

Light from the moon was streaming through Harry's window, keeping him awake, so he put an opaque spell on the window, blocking out the light.  Once the hall light had been turned out, his room was pitch dark.

Harry didn't know how long he'd been asleep, when he woke up.  Someone had climbed onto his bed.  Thinking it was Colin, he said, "Colin, go back to your bed."  He'd had his fill of Colin for the day.  But, what he felt, Colin didn't have.  It was Ginny.

She didn't say anything at first. Already naked, she climbed on top of him, kissing him, keeping him from speaking; then, pushing down his pajama bottoms, she guided his penis into her vagina.  Harry felt it slide inside.  As a physical sensation, it might not have been much different from sliding his dobber into Colin's arse, but because it was Ginny, there was a world of difference.  Come erupted from his cock.  He would have screamed, had not his mouth been filled with Ginny's tongue.  He caught a glimpse of the world Ginny had described, where all that existed was the orgasm, blocking out all sense of self.

He fucked her -- until he could fuck no more -- then used his tongue.  He'd lost count of his orgasms; she'd had even more.  "I love you, Harry." she said afterward.

"I love you, Ginny," he said.  For that moment, all that had happened -- that she had screwed Dean -- didn't matter.  Colin didn't matter.  Voldemort didn't matter.

"Take me back, Harry.  I always loved only you -- never Dean."  She lay, her head against his chest.

Harry wanted to say, "Yes," more than anything in the world; but he didn't.  It wasn't because of Dean.  Dean no longer mattered.  He'd forgiven Ginny with the first kiss.  It was his responsibilities: Colin and Voldemort -- and the potion.

In less than six months he would lose his genitals.  Ginny loved sex.  Although he could get her off with his tongue, she loved to fuck.  She loved a hard cock.  How could he deprive her of that?  Besides, loving her-- being in a relationship with her -- could cause her death.  Everyone he loved, died.

And -- there was his responsibility for Colin, who, because of the article in the Daily Prophet was already in danger.  Voldemort's people thought he loved Colin.  The only way Harry could protect him was to keep him close.  The only way he could protect them both -- was to let Ginny go.

"I -- I can't, Ginny."

Ginny was crying.  Other than an occasional sniffle, Harry wouldn't have known, except he could feel her tears drip onto his chest.

"Please, Harry.  I'm sorry about Dean.  I should have never done it with him.  I was just -- just horny ; and he was so insistent.  I didn't think one time would hurt, because I knew I loved you.  I knew it wouldn't make any difference in how I felt about you.  If I'd had any doubt about my love for you, I wouldn't have done it.  I know that sounds crazy.  I know it's not an excuse.  It was cruel of me -- selfish of me.  I should have known how it would make you feel -- especially since you couldn't -- "

"It's not Dean," said Harry.  "Maybe it was at first, but not any longer."

"Then take me back, Harry.  I'll make everything right.  You'll see.  I'll never look at another boy."

"It's too late, Ginny."

"But, you just said you loved me."

"I do.  I love you more than the world."

"Then why is it too late? asked, Ginny.

"I have too many responsibilities."

"For what?"

"For the world.  For Colin.  Whether I like it or not, I'm the Chosen One, the only one who might have a chance to defeat Voldemort; and if I can't defeat him, he'll kill me -- and all those I love.  That's why. You're the one person I can't be with.  You're the person I love most."

"What about Colin?  Do you love Colin?  Are --" Ginny hesitated, apparently not wanting to complete her sentence, but continued after a moment, "Are you having sex with Colin?"

"I care about Colin --" He hesitated.  It was not the time for lies.  "I've had sex with him -- but," he added quickly, when he heard Ginny take a quick breath, "it's just sex, the need for physical contact with another person.  After I lost you, I needed him."

"You never lost me, Harry."

"I thought I had.  When I saw you with Dean, I thought I had."

"Will you come back to me after you defeat Voldemort?"

That's when Harry told her about the potion, how he'd sacrificed his genitals for it, to have a chance to defeat Voldemort.  He didn't tell her about the part his loss of her had played in it.

"Oh, Harry...Why do you have to be so bloody noble?  Let someone else save the world.  Why does it have to be you?  You're only a boy." 

She stopped talking for a moment.  A look of dismay crossed her face.  "Did you do it because of what I did with Dean?  If you did, Harry, I think I'd die."

"No," Harry lied.  "I would have done it anyway.  That's the reason I told you -- back in the dining hall -- that we'd have to separate.  I'd already made the decision to use the potion.  It's my only chance, Ginny.  If I don't use it, Voldemort will win."

"Oh, Harry," Ginny said into his chest.  She'd put her arms around him and was clutching him tightly.  "It won't matter to me Harry.  I'll want you even if you don't have a penis.  It's you I love, not your cock."

"What kind of husband would I make you?  We could never have children.  I could never make love to you."

"You please me more with your tongue than Dean ever did with his penis."

"But you still wanted it, Ginny.  You still wanted his cock.  I -- I'm not saying this to hurt you.  I'm just being realistic.  I can't expect you to go the rest of your life without intercourse, but -- I couldn't stand to see you with anyone else.  Marry Dean -- or someone else you can love.  Forget about me.."

"Why do you have to be so noble, Harry? said Ginny again.  "I'll never forget you.  Will you at least let me come back to you while you're here?"

Harry didn't feel noble.  Let Voldemort win.  Just let him keep Ginny.  He knew now -- if he hadn't already used the potion -- he never would.  If Ginny and he could leave, go somewhere no one could find them -- but it was too late.  He'd already used the potion.  Rather than answer, he kissed her.  That was his response to her question.  He couldn't deny either of them the little time together they had left.

She came back to him the next two nights.  They made love as many times as they could, never getting their fill of the other.

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It was the night of the full moon.  The Death Eater, added the final ingredient to the potion, a hair from Harry Potter's head, then drank the potion.  The change was quick, though painful.  In a few moments, where the Death Eater had  stood, was a replica of Harry Potter, identical in every respect.

He could have gone to Harry Potter's room, but he had something else in mind.  He was afraid to attack Harry Potter directly.  Potter had, after all, defeated the Dark Lord on more than one occasion.  He'd let others do it for him.  Instead, he went to the girl's room.  He could have gone to the room of the two Creevey brothers, but their deaths would only have caused Potter pain.  What he had in mind might cause his destruction.

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Ginny lay in bed waiting for Dean to go to sleep.  They'd had another fight because she wouldn't let him have sex with her.  She'd made excuses every night since they'd been at the Burrow.  The door opened.  It was Harry.  He had his wand in his hand -- and a strange look on his face.  It was Harry -- except for the eyes.  There was something about the eyes.

Dean, still awake, sat up when the door opened.  "Potter," he said, "What are you --"  He never finished.  With a flick of his wand, the Harry Potter at the door, said, "Neuterus."  A red light shot from his wand, striking Dean in the groin.  Dean screamed and fainted.  Harry closed the door and left the room.

Ginny looked at Dean.  He'd been naked, hoping to get lucky.  His groin, other than his brown bush, was empty.  The Neuterus spell had taken his cock and bollocks.

Leaving Dean on the bed, Ginny ran for the door.  Unlike Dean, she had on her pajamas.  By the time she reached the door, Harry was gone.  Ginny ran to his room, wondering if she'd find him there.  Maybe Dean deserved what he got.  Maybe Ginny deserved more; but she couldn't imagine what had driven Harry to it.  He'd said what she'd done with Dean no longer mattered.  She'd told Harry she hadn't boffed Dean since they'd been at the Burrow..

Ginny opened Harry's door.  The lights came on at her command.  She didn't know what she'd expected to find -- certainly not what she did.  Harry was in bed, naked, waiting for her.  She'd followed immediately.  He wouldn't have had time to undress and crawl into bed.  The Harry Potter at her door had been fully dressed, even down to his running shoes.

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Harry sat up, shielding his eyes against the light with his hand, wondering at Ginny's unorthodox entry.  She usually slipped into the room, closing the door behind her, shed her pajamas, and climbed into bed beside him.  "Wha --" he began.

"Did you do it?" asked Ginny. 

"Did I do what?" said Harry. 

"Did you use the Neuterus spell on Dean?"

"No," said Harry.  He'd almost used the Infantiliamus of Dean when he'd seen him with Ginny, but hadn't.  "I would never use the Neuterus spell on anyone.  It's forbidden.  I don't even know how to do it." 
 

It took more than saying the name of a spell to perform it.  Once one learned a spell, he didn't have to say it out loud, although it was more difficult to perform it if he didn't.  Saying the name was a means of focusing the energy. 

"Somehow, I didn't think it was you," said Ginny.  She'd walked over to Harry and stared him in the eyes.  "The eyes were different.  It wasn't you behind them.  They were your eyes, the same color and size; but it wasn't you behind them.  I could tell it wasn't you," then pausing, staring off into space, she said, "The voice was different, too.  It wasn't your voice.  It was familiar; but it wasn't yours."

By the time they'd gone downstairs, Dean was awake and screaming.  Mr. Weasley was trying to put some pajama bottoms on him.  It was impossible, the way Dean was clutching at his groin, crossing and uncrossing his legs as he did.  When he saw Harry, he said, "He did it!  He did this to me."  He removed one hand from his groin to point at Harry.

"This is serious, Harry," said Mr. Weasley looking at him and shaking his head.  I've had to place a call to the Ministry.  Someone will have to transport Dean to St. Mongo's. (It had recently reopened.)  I'm afraid they'll send some aurors for you."

"Bloody Hell," said Ron.  "It serves you right, Thomas.  You knew Ginny was Harry's girl."

"Whether he did or not," said Mr. Weasley, in a tone that suggested he thought he did, "Harry used a forbidden spell -- an irreversible spell.  I'm afraid they'll put him in Azkaban for this."

"Run, Harry." said Ron.  "Hide before they get here.  If they'd caught me, I would probably still be in Azkaban.  No one's been released from Azkaban since Scrimgeour became Minister."

"I didn't do it," said Harry.

"Harry didn't do it," said Ginny.

"You both lie!" screamed Dean.  "I saw you," he said to Harry.

"You saw him," he said to Ginny.  "You're trying to protect him -- probably been screwing him.  That's where you've been going at night," adding when Ginny looked at him, "You think I don't know why you haven't been screwing me since we got here?  You've been screwing Potter."

Everyone in the room looked first at Ginny, then at Harry.  "That's enough of that kind of talk," said Molly Weasley. 

Fortunately, neither Colin or Dennis were in the room to hear the discussion.  Mrs. Weasley had sent them back to their room, saying afterward to the others, "They don't need to see this," referring to the attack on Dean, "they've already been through it."

Bill, having walked into the room when Ron was telling Harry to run, said to his father, "You should put Potter under arrest.  It's your duty to hold him until the aurors arrive, otherwise Scrimgeour might hold us responsible."

Harry felt Ginny clutch his arm.  She was staring at her older brother, a look of shock on her face.  Harry looked from Ginny's face to Bill's, whose ears were longer.  More hair was on his face.  His canines had grown. It was the full moon.  He had been bitten by a werewolf, even though Fenrir Greyback hadn't been changed.  Lupin had said Bill might suffer some wolfish effects.  He had.

"It was you!" Ginny said to Bill.  "I knew I recognized the voice.  You used a spell or potion to look like Harry."

The others in the room looked at Bill, disbelief on their faces.  "It was Potter," said Dean.  "I saw him.  You know it was Potter."

"I'm your brother," said Bill.  "How could you think I would do such a thing?"  He reached for Ginny, but she scurried over to the other side of Harry, who pointed his wand at Bill, holding him off.

"You were bitten by a werewolf.  You've changed."  Ginny was crying, conflicted as she was.  Harry could understand her dilemma.  If he hadn't done it, someone else in the house must have.  To have discovered it was her older brother, must have been devastating. They had always been close.

"I recognized your voice," said Ginny; "I knew it was familiar when I heard you say the spell, but until I heard you speak just now, I didn't realize that it was you."

Bill looked, from Ginny, to his mother -- to his father.   "It wasn't me," he said, a hint of panic in his voice.  "It was Potter.  He's in league with He-Who-Can't-Be-Named.  That's why he's still alive.  He's a Death Eater.  He probably killed Dumbledore.  He was in the tower with him when he died.  If he wasn't one of them, why didn't they kill him?

"Everyone knows he was frozen and under his invisibility cloak," said Ginny.

"Only because he says that's what happened.  Did anyone actually see him fight the Death Eaters?  "You know I fought them," said Bill, placing his hand over his lower face.  "Look at me.  I heard Potter ran along with the other Death Eaters."

"I was trying to catch Snape," said Harry.  "He killed Dumbledore."

"You didn't catch him, did you?"

"I caught him, but -- "  Harry hesitated, thinking of that night, "he was too strong for me."

"Snape -- too strong for you?  Is this the Chosen One?" said Bill to the others.  "He can't even defeat Snape.  How can you expect him to defeat Voldemort?"  He used Voldemort's name for the first time.

"Why didn't Snape or one of the others kill you? said Bill.  "They had you out numbered."

"I -- I don't know," said Harry.  "Snape said I belonged to the Dark Lord."

"See!" Bill shouted.  "Out of his own mouth.  He belongs to the Dark Lord."

"HE KILLED MY PARENTS!" Harry shouted back.  "I'll never belong to him."

The Weasleys were looking back and forth from Bill to Harry -- to Bill, as if wondering which one to believe.  Bill was their son.  How could they chose Harry over him?  And, what he said made sense.  It even made sense to Harry -- and he knew it was a lie.  "I don't know," said Arthur Weasley."

"Well, I do," said Ginny, clutching Harry's arm.  "I was there.  I heard his voice."

"You might have been mistaken, Dear," said Molly Weasley.  "It was only one word.  How can you be sure?"

"I already knew it wasn't Harry -- even before he spoke.  I could tell from his eyes -- the way he looked at me --  that it wasn't Harry.  Bill didn't know that I still love Harry.  He didn't know that Harry had no reason to attack Dean.  Harry knows that I love him."

"But I thought -- you and Dean?" said Mrs. Weasley. 

"It's over between Dean and me.  It should have never happened in the first place --"

I'm sorry," she said to Dean.  I told you that first night that I loved Harry -- that it was just sex.  That's all it's ever been.  I -- I guess I used you, but when Harry found out about what we'd done.  I was sure I'd lost him.   Sex was the only thing that took my mind off Harry.  At least -- during it -- I didn't have to think about how I'd hurt him -- about how I'd lost him."

"I've been with Harry the last three nights, so you see, he had no reason to attack Dean."

"I knew you had, you bitch," said Dean.  "I knew you were fucking him."

"Shut up, Thomas!" said Harry, pointing his wand at Dean, "or I will --"

"Will what?" asked Dean, pulling down the pajama bottoms Mr. Weasley had finally pulled onto him, "What can you do to me you already haven't already?"

"He didn't do it?" said Ginny, yet again.

"Even if he didn't, it's his fault," said Dean, " -- and yours."

Maybe it was Harry's fault.  He doubted Dean had been the target.  Bill had only attacked him to incriminate Harry.  "Leave Ginny out of it," he said.  "I didn't use the spell on you -- but maybe it is my fault -- maybe it's all my fault."

"How are we going to decide this?" said Mr. Weasley, looking perplexed.

"My wand," said Harry.  "You can test my wand.  But test Bill's, too."  The use of magic left traces.  The proper test would determine whether a wand had been used to perform a particular spell

He started to hand his wand to Mr. Weasley, but Ginny grabbed his hand.  "No!  Test Bill's first," she said.

"I'm not giving up my wand while Potter has his," said Bill.

"Hold it out, then," said Mr. Weasley, "I'll test it while you hold it."  He pulled out his wand to make the test.

Bill had his wand down to his side.  He blanched, looking at the other faces in the room.  He raised his wand, but instead of holding it out to his father, turned, pushed aside Ron, who had been on the other side of him, and fled the room. 

Harry ran after him, and realizing Bill was about to apparate, pointed his wand.  "Stupefy," he said, stopping Bill in mid-step.  He couldn't let Bill escape with the knowledge that he loved Ginny.  Until he was able to use the potion, he wouldn't be strong enough to oppose Voldemort and wouldn't be able to protect her. 

Protecting Colin was going to be difficult enough, but he planned to keep Colin with him.  If Ginny were to have a normal life -- with a whole man -- he would have to let her go.  When he left the Burrow, he planned to never see her again -- except as friends -- and that wouldn't be for a while.  He wouldn't be able to hold to his resolve if he were near her.  She needed to forget him -- or at least find someone else she could love.  Harry didn't think either of them would ever stop loving the other.

Bill was still frozen, standing on one foot, when the aurors arrived.  They took him away, along with Dean, who they would be taking to St. Mongo's for treatment.  He already needed to pee, but had no opening for his urinary tract.  Dean had insisted it had been Harry, who had attacked him, but the aurors had listened to Mr. Weasley.  He had said it was Bill.  They realized that Bill's father would have no reason to choose to defend Harry rather than his son.  Harry was certain it was the hardest thing Mr. Weasley had ever done -- turning his son over to the aurors to be taken to Azkaban.

"No!" Molly Weasley screamed, "Not Bill.  It couldn't have been Bill,"  tears flowing.

Ginny was crying, too.  "It wasn't Bill any longer, Mother.  Greyback's bite changed him.  The Bill we loved no longer exists."

"The Wedding," said Mrs. Weasley.  It was supposed to be on Saturday.  That's just two days off.  What will we tell everyone?  What will we tell Fleur?  She's coming tomorrow."

Ginny spent that night in Harry's bed.  Harry overheard her tell her mother to sure not to let Colin come to his room.  Harry didn't want Colin to be hurt; and if he knew Ginny was sleeping with Harry, he would be.  Neither of them felt like sex.  Too much had happened that night.  It wasn't a happy night for anyone at the Burrow.  Ginny and Ron had lost a brother.  Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had lost a son.

Chapter 12: Number Four, Privet Drive