Chapter 14: Innocence Lost

Harry looked up when Colin entered their bedroom.  He was naked.  His neck was red and swollen.  In a rasp, barely able to talk, Colin said, "Dudley raped me.  He fucked my bum.  I didn't tell him he could, Harry, honest I didn't.  I wouldn't let anyone do it, but you."  Colin rambled, half choking as he did.

"He fucked me, then he said that if I told anyone, he'd kill both of us."  Colin put his hand over his mouth.  His eyes opened wide.  "I told you, Harry.  Is he going to kill us, now?"

"Dudley raped you?"

"Yes.  I was in the shower.  I locked the door like you told me Harry.  Really, I did.  I always lock it.  He still got in.  Somehow he got in.  He grabbed me from behind.  I never heard him come in."  Colin's monologue was interrupted by an occasional croak.

"He held me real tight around the waist; then I felt him poke me in the bum with his dobber.  Then he did it, Harry.  He stuck it in my arse.  He didn't even use any arse lube -- not even any Vaseline.  He just stuck it in me; but it was wet; and his isn't as big as yours so it didn't hurt too much; but I didn't let him, Harry.  Really, I didn't.  You aren't mad at me, are you, Harry?"  Colin began to cry.

He pulled Colin to him, kissing the top of his head as Colin cried into Harry's chest.  "Hush.  I'm not mad at you.  You didn't do anything wrong -- but I'm going to kill Dudley."

"But I didn't want to be anyone else's lover, Harry.  I just want to be yours.  I love you, Harry.  I love you so much."

What had Harry done?  He cared for Colin, but he'd never loved him -- not like he loved Ginny.  He felt affection for Colin, but it wasn't the same.  It wasn't what Colin felt for him.  He'd fucked Colin, knowing all the time that he didn't love him.  Just sex, he'd told himself; but it had never been just sex for Colin.  Since Harry had fucked him, Colin had thought it meant he loved him.

Maybe if Colin had been more mature -- more experienced -- it would have been different, but Harry had been his first -- his only -- up to the rape by Dudley.  He'd probably had his first orgasm because he had thought the sex meant Harry loved him, not because of what little sex hormones he had left at the time.

He was glad Colin hadn't found out he was fucking Ginny while they were at the Burrow.  If it were up to Harry, he never would.

Once Colin calmed down, Harry said, "Stay here.  I'm going to have a little talk with Dudley.  He pulled out his wand.  He hadn't decided what he'd do to him yet, but it would be unpleasant."

"It's against the law, Harry," Colin said, "to do underage magic."

"Fuck the Ministry of Magic," said Harry.  He didn't care what they did.  He'd used magic before and hadn't been punished, and he'd never had the excuse he did now.  But he was considering using an Unforgivable curse on Dudley.  Neuterus might be appropriate; but Harry had never learned it.

Dudley was nowhere to be found -- not in the house or in the yard -- and Harry knew better than to leave the premises without the Dursleys.  He wouldn't have been protected by Dumbledore's spell. 

Dumbledore had said he only had to return to number four, Privet Drive, but the situation had changed since the attack on Hogwarts and Dumbledore's death.  He could only hope that Dumbledore's spell was still in effect, now he was dead.

All Harry knew was that he'd never been attacked while he was at the Dursleys'.  Even at the Weasleys' the Death Eaters -- through Ginny's brother, Bill -- had attacked him.  Again, Harry had escaped, but someone else had suffered.  At least Dean hadn't died.  Although he might wish he had.

It wasn't himself he was worried about.  It was Colin.  They seemed safe from the Death Eaters at number four, Privet Drive, even if Colin hadn't been safe from Dudley.  Harry would see that Dudley didn't threaten him again..

If he stayed at the Dursleys' until he was seventeen, he'd be able to use magic and be better able to protect Colin and himself when they'd moved to number twelve, Grimmauld Place. 

Besides, he wasn't allowed to live on his own until he was seventeen.  Although Uncle Vernon didn't know it, he was Colin's guardian until Harry was of age.  If they left the Dursleys', the Ministry of Magic would place Colin elsewhere.

He couldn't go back to the Weasleys' for several reasons: it would endanger the Weasleys; Ginny and he needed to be apart -- to learn how to live without each other; he couldn't let Colin find out about how much he loved Ginny.

He could see he had no choice other than to stay at the Dursleys'.  But Dudley would never again touch Colin.  That he vowed.

Of course, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia didn't believe him when he told them what their son had done.  "Not my Dudders," said Aunt Petunia.

"My son is not a pervert like you," said Uncle Vernon. 

Harry couldn't very well inform the muggle police.  How could he explain Colin's lack of genitals?  And if he admitted he'd been fucking Colin, he'd be the one arrested.  He could just imagine Colin saying, "Harry's my lover.  He fucks my bum."

No, the muggle police weren't an option.

Neither was the Ministry of Magic.  If they found out, they'd probably place Colin elsewhere -- somewhere Harry couldn't protect him.  They would have to stay at number four, Privet Drive.

He was still talking to Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia when Dudley returned.  "If you ever touch Colin again," Harry said, pointing his wand at Dudley, using just enough of an asphyxiation spell to get Dudley's attention, but not -- he hoped -- enough to arouse that of the Ministry's, " I'll kill you.  If I even catch you looking at him or speaking to him, I'll kill you."

Dudley turned blue before he released the spell.  Uncle Vernon was his usual shade of purple, and Aunt Petunia was a pasty white.  "You'll go to prison for this," Uncle Vernon said.

"Just keep this in mind," said Harry, waving his wand in their direction, "if I'm going to prison, anyway, I might as well use magic first; and if I do, you might have to bury your son -- if you can find a big enough coffin."

They looked at him as though he were mad.  That was good.  Let them think it.  Maybe they'd leave him  and Colin alone.

For as long as they stayed at the Dursleys', Harry didn't intend to let Colin out of his sight.  If Colin needed to pee, Harry would go along to hold his hand.  Revenge on Dudley would have to wait; but it would come.  Maybe an Infantiliamus would get his attention.

Dudley stayed away from Colin.  Actually, by accompanying Colin every time he went downstairs, Harry made sure he did.  If Dudley even came close, Harry would point his wand at him, place his hand at his own throat, and make gagging sounds.  It didn't take much for Dudley to get the hint.

Harry was to the point that he didn't care what the Dursleys -- or anyone else thought.  He sent Hedwig to George and Fred's shop in Diagon Alley with money and an order for a bottle of Arse Fucking Lube.  

He sent along a note with the order. "Please don't spread it around that I ordered this.  You've probably seen the article about me in the Daily Prophet.  I can just imagine what they would print if they knew I ordered this."

Hedwig came back with the lube, his money, and a note from George and Fred.  "We told you that your money's no good.  And -- as far as we're concerned -- it's nobody's business what you do with the lube.  We won't tell anyone -- not even a family member.  Anytime you need more, send Hedwig,"

Harry wished they had taken the money, but he was glad to have the arse lube.  He hated Vaseline.

Using the arse lube, he made love to Colin for over an hour.  When Colin screamed during an orgasm, Harry let him.  Fuck Uncle Vernon.  Fuck Aunt Petunia and fuck Dudley.  Fuck the Ministry of Magic and fuck the uptight muggles.  They were doing nothing wrong.

If he didn't love Colin -- at least not like Colin loved him -- he wouldn't let Colin know.  "Never run out of Arse Lube again, Harry," Colin said afterward.  "I don't like Vaseline."