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Getting the chemicals wasn't so hard, I just looked around for an online vet supply website that allowed small amounts of products to be ordered (with a penalty of course). I found some info on a local vet, filled out the order form with some of his info and some of mine, went and got a money order for the amount and mailed the form away. About a week later the package came. I took it into my apartment and opened it. Inside, packaged well, were two glass containers of the chemical, some papers with various info on them regarding chemical content, and the two syringes I ordered. It took me a while to work up the nerve, I did it by reading the stories and websites again and then I got that 'not going to think
about it just going to do it' feeling. I grabbed the box, opened the eunuch website with the instructions, broke open one of the needles and filled it with 5 cc's of the first bottle, and then took my pants and underwear off. I sat there for a minute, deciding, then grabbed one of my balls. I held it tight, took the needle, found a spot where there were no blood vessles, then pushed through. It hurt quite a bit, but was far easier than I thought. Without missing a beat, I emptied the needle and pulled it out. It bled a little but stopped. Quickly, I got the other needle, opened it, filled it with 5 cc's, grabbed the other nut and did the same. Only after that was done did I start to shake all over and feel sick to my stomache. No, I wasn't sick, I just started to realize what I had done. I actually did it. No more bullshitting, no more stories, no more anything, I had actually did it. That was yesterday. May 23rd Not much difference today. They are both sore, of course, but I don't feel any different and they look to be the same size. I easily got an erection today as well. May 28th I couldn't work up the nerve to check again until today. I definitely felt a difference, the right nut is a bit smaller but the left nut is way smaller and feels kind of numb. Again stiffy, no problem. June 1st Difference between left and right nut is bigger, the left nut is pretty small and the right nut is bigger but getting there. Stiffy no problem. June 4th My left nut is getting so small it's hard to find! The right nut is still fairly large. I've been noticing something, as this happens my nutsack is starting to shrivel up and grow closer to the base. It no longer hangs down as much. Wierd. Stiffy no problem. June 8th Okay, today I was unable to find the left nut. I searched for a good twenty minutes, it's not there. Maybe it receeded into the body. The right nut is pretty small, and very numb (it feels like a small rubber piece). Today I did notice a bit of trouble getting a stiffy, but it was there big time. June 12th They are both gone!! It took 20 days in total, a few more than the website said, but they are both gone. My nutsack has pulled back to the base and no longer hangs down much. I can pull it around of course. Today no problem with the stiffy. June 20th Went a while without an update because of not much change. Today, however, I got a bit of a shock. I went online and found some pretty good porn. I was looking at it and putting some of it together, when I noticed something. My penis was still limp. This never happens, as you know, it usually gets stiff right away. I pulled down my underwear to find it half way between tiny little and becoming a stiffy. It was very small and felt weird. After a few minutes of rubbing it, I got it up to full size. Weird though. June 28th Same thing today, only this time I noticed a fair bit of trouble getting it up there. July 3rd Today I went to take a leak, only to find that my penis had receeded into it's skin folds! This had happened before, but no where near this bad. I had to fucking pull around at the folds until I found the bastard. Then I had to pull it out until I could hold it. Later on, during my daily porn test, it took me something like 8 minutes to get it to full stiff size. And even during that the cum barely happened at all. Just two jerks then it got small again. July 10th Unable to maintain stiffy long enough to cum. I rubbed everything, looked at nothing but the best porn, but I couldn't get it there. Not only that but I'm absolutely sure that the stiffy wasn't as big as usual. I was rubbing and all of a sudden it just started to get small again, then presto it went back into it's hiding area. July 15th Okay this time when I tried the stiffy was so small it fit in my hand lengthwise! Again, no cum. You'd think that not having cum for like a week so far would be affecting me, but it hasn't. July 23rd Okay, two full months later. I'll do a bit of a checkup here. Scrotal skin has become quite difficult to pull out much. Every time I take a leak I have to find my penis and pull it out. Getting a full stiffy is seemingly impossible now, and those cheap half stiffies are not much fun and don't last. I don't wake up with stiffies anymore, haven't for like a month now. My penis sensitivity is (I think) around the same, no numb spots or anything, but I haven't cum for like two weeks now and I haven't noticed any behavioral problems. I have noticed one problem though. Okay when the penis is in it's hiding place, the scrotal skin is tight up against the base. This means that the whole area is almost smooth aside from the tons of excess skin there. This is absolutely no bs, I've started to notice that wearing my underwear is causing problems. Because the area is now so small, the front of the underwear is undersupported, which causes me to get frequent wedgies. I'm actually considering a change of underwear. But that would mean a serious change for me, because I'd go from regular male with no nuts to a freak guy who wears panties. Aside from that, I've also been running this other test. The website said that I'd eventually lose my sex drive. Well, I think I have mostly. I went without the porn test for three days to test it out, and I didn't miss it a bit. I found that I went maybe a full day without thinking about sex, and even then I did so only to check if I had been thinking about it. Oh, and no change in my nipples or anything like that. Skin is regular and no hair loss. July 29th Two months and six days. Unable to OBTAIN an erection! I tried for (get this) an hour and a half, rubbing, video porn, stories, fucking oil, everything. I couldn't get it to do anything noticable. It just sat there. Also, the other day I was fucking around with it, and I noticed something. I can push the head in and it goes in so far that it doesn't come back out. Then, I can take the scrotal skin and actually push it in so it gets tucked around the penis head. If I do it right, the skin gets pretty tight and actually stays there. The result? Aside from a bit of a bump and skin folds, a smooth crotch! Weird eh? August 10th Well not much to report, it's just been a while so I thougth I'd check in. I didn't try another porn test until last night, and there was even less of a response this time. I rubbed the head and it felt good (as opposed to nothing) but there was no response for me. No odd feeling you get when you feel sexual, nothing. I've been thinking about buying some panties online. August 18th Worked up the nerve and went and found a site that sold women's underwear regular. I had no idea what size I was, but I did know that I wanted black only. So I gambled and ordered a two-pair pack of medium. They came today, and I quickly tried them on. MAN, I'm not fucking with you they were comfortable. But the medium were a bit small though. I walked over to the mirror and saw that I could still see a bit of a bump where my penis is, so it wasn't completely smooth, but when I put my legs together it looked so wierd. Almost female like in appearance. I ordered three packs of large. August 23rd Three months, not much different than what I've been reporting. No nipple or breast change or anything like that. Skins the same. I got the new packs of panties today. Put one of the large on. They were comfortable, and fit well. I threw all of my old underwear out. It felt good to be able to go walking and stuff without getting a wedgie. Also, they are soft cotton, and fit so snug against the body compared to male underwear, so you can imagine how comfortable they are. Well that was my last report, two and a half months ago. Now that my penis is totally useless, I've started contacting urologists about having it removed. So far I've seen two doctors in Spokane. The first tried to give me shit for administering drugs myself, etc, but I told him no way. The second was quite okay with the surgery being done. Apparenly that surgery is done often for people who lost their testicles because of cancer and whatnot. I'm thinking of going to see this third guy, but he's in Seattle. The second doctor said he would do it but there is a long waiting list. Wow, just found this file. Interesting to read the early stuff. Anyways, guess I'll continue it. It's been like .. 6 months since my last update there. A world of stuff has happened. Let's just start with the fact that I'm living in Seattle right now. Okay what happened was I decided to try the Seattle guy, so I took a trip out there disguising it by saying that I was going out here to check out the schools. I got a shitty motel room, and went for my appointment. This doctor was amazing, he gave me a few of my options, and said that because I had such trouble urinating (it took me about two minutes each time to find the penis head) that he would do it right away for me. He showed me pictures of similar surgeries, where the penis was removed and a small hole was placed near the anus. These people sat to pee, which I found a little disconcerting, but was otherwise pleased. I got that same 'don't think just do' feeling and decided to do it. He made me an appointment for two months from that day. I went back to Spokane, and told everyone that I would be moving to Seattle for a while to work. I found a job in Seattle working on an assembly line, got some money together, and moved out there. Then the day came. I called ahead to make sure everything was in order. I actually had to shave what I could of the pubic hair off, which wasn't much fun. Then I went in. I was nervous, to say the least. I got put in a room, where I lied down and the nurse prepped me for surgery. She removed the rest of the pubic hair, cleaned the area, and made a bunch of marks with a marker. Then I was put in a room that I assumed was the surgery room. It wasn't what I thought it would be. There were big bright windows on one side, where I could see the street and rest of the city. In the middle of the smallish room was a surgery bed. I lied down on it and they gave me an epidural and layed me down with my feet in stirrups. I woke up later that day. A couple days later I went home. At first I couldn't see anything because it was still all swollen and I had to pee through a cathoder. Then I was able to take the cathoder out. The first few pees were very exciting (if that's possible). I sat down and let go, ignoring the feeling that I was going to pee all over the place because me penis wasn't secured. Much to my surprise, it neatly all went into the bowel thanks to my new hole. Once the swelling went down after a few days, I could walk normally again. I looked at myself in the mirror wearing underwear and didn't notice much of a difference. The little nub that once was my penis was gone, and the area was now smooth. So, I now live in Seattle. I still date occasionally, and have decided that I don't want to live with a girl unless she's fine with me having to use a strap on dildo during sex. I met one girl, and we got pretty close. She loved me having to use a dildo because she said she was sick of guys with tiny dicks, and the fact that it vibrated was all the more fun. But she had to move to Vancouver so oh well. I still like sex, it's fun and I love making my girl cum. I don't really miss orgasms, and I absolutely do not miss my penis. Thanks to the hormones prescribed to me by the urologist, I'm not longer in danger of getting cancer or anything. However, the dose is so low (at my request) that I do not get any sex drive or anything. I don't know what's up with the other guys who've had this done, but I didn't get anything like any phantom stiffies or anything. Maybe that's because I slowly stepped down instead of just removing it. All in all, I'm very happy with what I did. I was having a miserable life before. Now, I meet girls all the time, most of the girls I meet aren't worried about my lack of penis (I was at first imagining them all being freaked out, but that wasn't the case). Many girls, as I've been told more than once, don't actually like penises all that much anyways. And since I'm a lot more open with them now since I feel a bit of comradere with most girls, I find it's a lot easier and more enjoyable to establish a relationship with them. The only problem I found was having to sit to pee, which is still a bit of an annoyance. I was out walking with a girl friend in the mountains near Seattle, and we both had to go. I'll tell you, it was so much fun (and a lot less weird than I would have thought) that we both had to hold onto trees and squat down to take a leak. Hah, she even screwed up and got some on her leg, where as mine was perfectly done. Hahah.
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