The Faculty?

tongue in cheek version of the mildly amusing movie

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	I got to school late on Wednesday.  We had just gotten back 
from Cancun after Spring Break.  My little brother's elementary 
school has a different week for it than the all-male military 
academy I attend.  It had been a great trip - sun, beach, even a 
little action when my parents didn't see.  It was a great 
opportunity to show off my buff 18 year old self.  I had wanted 
speedos to show myself off but when I thought about actually having 
to wear them in front of my mom the thought didn't seem quite so 
appealing.
	Anyway, when we got back I almost wanted to go to school - 
see my friends, show off my new tan.  I wished I could brag about my 
sexual encounters, but when you're a jock in high school you don't 
tell people that you're gay.  I figured I could just swap the sex of 
the person and just make up the details.
	I parked my car about a block from school, like usual and 
headed up to the office to get a pass back into class.  The 
secretarys looked at me kinda funny and asked me all sorts of 
details about where I'd been, how long, why I was late, blah blah 
blah.  People like them make me feel good to have been born in the 
second half of the 20th Century.
	When I got to class it was kind weird, too.  Most everybody 
just looked really blank - bored, I guessed.  Mr. Hallowell was 
usually more interesting, though.  The other half of the class 
looked nervous - I hoped there wasn't going to be a pop quiz or 
something.  He did that sometimes.
	Hallowell took my hall pass, looked it over sternly, and 
told me, "You may now take your seat."
	I kinda gave him a funny look; he didn't usually talk like 
that, and headed back to the back of the room where Joey and Tim, my 
best buds, were.  Both of them looked worried, and glanced at me but 
then glanced back down again quickly.  I figured Hallowell must have 
yelled at them or something.  He doesn't do that often but when he 
does you really feel like shit.
	I sat down and got out my books, but it was already near the 
end of the period and I couldn't concentrate anyway.  I just doodled 
until the end of the period, and as soon as we got out of the room I 
laughed and asked what they had done.
	"We need to talk to you later," they said, looking downright 
scared, and rushed off to their next class before the bell rang.  I 
had to book it to the gym for my last class of the day.
	Before I could make it, though, I heard my name being called 
over the loudspeaker.  Me and a whole lot of other people were 
supposed to head to the nurse's office right away instead.  I heard 
Tim's name get called too.  Maybe he'd know what was up.
	I headed over there where the vice principal, Mr. Venetti, 
was lining guys up.  I was one of the earlier ones to get there.  
Tim was behind me a few people and Joey was there, third in line.  I 
waved.  I don't think he saw me, 'cause he didn't wave back.
	After a few minutes the line started.  I didn't pay much 
attention to what was going on but did wonder.  I asked the guy next 
to me and he just shrugged.  Mr. Venetti yelled at me to be quiet, 
so I did, and slunk sheepishly up against the wall.
	I saw Joey go in and then come back out a few minutes later 
looking dazed.  Mr. Venetti handed him a hall pass and Joey took off 
down the hall without so much as a nod.  As I kept watching, it 
looked like all the guys that went in looked nervous and all that 
came out looked stoned.  I wondered what they were doing in there.
	I got to the front of the line finally and just as I was 
about to go in heard a disturbance behind me.  "Don't go in!"  I 
turned around.  It was Joey!  "Don't go in, Sam!  They'll get you 
like they did Tim and Zak!"  Mr. Venetti grabbed him by the wrist 
and twisted it sharply.  
	"Quiet, Mr. Tarkenton," he said tersely.  Joey kept yelling 
and I started toward him, but someone grabbed my arm from behind and 
started pulling me into the nurse's station.  I turned to see who it 
was - it was Coach Wahlner!  He had arms as big around as my head, 
and no trouble pulling me in as I struggled to see what was going 
in.
	"Get in here, he'll get his turn!"  Coach sounded annoyed.  
"Hurry and get undressed."  I unbuttoned my shirt slowly, looking 
around the room.  Coach and the assistant coach, Trimble, were in 
the room.  There was a big row of syringes lying on a towel on a 
tray and a big bucket with a towel over it in the corner.  The chair 
had a fresh piece of that white paper they put on stuff so your butt 
doesn't touch the seat.  
	"What's goin' on, Coach?" I asked.
	"Vaccine shots.  Hurry up."  I got my shoes off and my 
shorts down.  "All of it," Coach ordered.
	Just after I got my underwear off Trimble grabbed my arm 
firmly.  "Hold still," he said and stuck me.  I barely felt it.  
"Sit down."
	I wondered why I had to sit.  I wondered why I had to be 
naked.  I wondered why I felt so funny.  My felt foggy, all 
cobwebbed...good thing I was sitting down.  I lay back on the table, 
my head spinning.  I heard Coach say, "Spread its legs," and watched 
as Venetti moved my legs further apart.  They seemed like somebody 
else's legs, so far away...everything seemed so far away.
	And then my head was clear.  Clear, but empty.  For perhaps 
the first time in my life, I had no thoughts at all - I just lay 
there and watched what was happening.  Coach Trimble lathered and 
shaved my crotch.  "Get an erection," he told me, so I did, without 
thinking about or processing any of this.  Wahlner grabbed a scalpel 
from a nearby tray and started making an incision in my scrotum.  I 
could barely feel it as he pushed out my left nut and then cut it 
free, followed quickly by my right., and then the little tugs as he 
stitched it up.  The balls went into the bucket, which I could see 
had at least twenty other testicles already in it.  Trimble washed 
me clean and told me to get dressed, so I did.
	I wasn't wondering anything anymore; I just did what I was 
told with no thought whatsoever.  It was a nice feeling - I didn't 
have to do anything or think anything, just drift along, doing what 
I was told.  It was nice to be relieved of the worry of having to 
talk or think or do anything.  I was heading back to class but 
Venetti tapped me.  "Your friend has run off.  Go find him.  Bring 
him back here.  Pretend to be yourself."  He handed me a syringe.
	So I went to where I figured he would go - behind the sign a 
little ways away from school.  We'd been going there since we were 
little kids.  Sure enough he was there.  I ran up, out of breath, 
looking like I used to - not blank, but happy, sorta.  He smiled at 
me.  
	"What happened?  Did you escape?"
	"Yeah," I answered him.  "I got away."
	"What are they doing in there?" he asked.
	"I don't know," I told him.  "Injections or something."
	"I'm really worried, man," he told me.  "We gotta tell 
somebody."  He turned around.  Here was my chance.  I grabbed him in 
a headlock and jammed the needle into his neck, forcing the plunger 
all the way down.  Joey screamed and pulled away.
	"You don't need to worry, Joey.  It's wonderful.  They just 
make things easier.  You'll enjoy it after they get your balls off."
	"Balls off?  Oh my..." he didn't finish his sentence as the 
injection took hold.
	"You are to follow me back."  I turned around and jogged 
back to the school. Joey kept pace.  Soon he was done as I had been. 
 
	Everything went as this for the rest of the day and most of 
the next, when another student managed to find the one who was 
controlling us and destroy her, breaking the control.  Fortunately, 
she had left an embryo in one lucky person.
	Anyway, trust me, it doesn't hurt at all.  You'll like 
living this way much better...