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Right outside Toronto, things aren’t just right. Something’s missing. It sounds contrary, but this ‘something missing’ is something we must see. Now, there isn’t one among us who doesn’t like a good strip show. Sara Lee strips, and nobody doesn’t like … He / she / it used to be called Lee Sierra, now the stage name is Sara Lee. To make things simple, but by no means conclusive, let’s call Sara a she. As you could have guessed, part of her act includes pies, pastries – and creams, both synthetic and man-made (made by the men, of the men, and for the men). It’s Tuesday night, amateur night at the male-stripper club in Mississauga. Exposed men only – except for Miss Sara and others like her. Well, none are exactly like her. So, that’s why we are here. I’m with the highest-class of my rotating entourage of BF’s and GF’s and TSTVF’s. Every one of us has stripped for cash and curiosity in places like this – we like to hang out while we hang out. No one is bored. Something for everyone here. Totally nude, totally touchable. Totally affordable at only $20 Canadian for grabbing one of the pros, or only $5 Canadian for grabbing one of the amateurs. Take a cash advance from your Amex gold card for $500 US and the tips will be included in your night to remember. We arrive early enough to throw down enough Labatts to throw off our clothes and join the amateur exhibitionist dancers. Some of us have done this professionally, but tonight we are fully-exposed lay-persons incognito – still with great chances of getting laid. The male / female / shemales in the crowd can now buy us. We’ve all learned long ago that the trick to dance your trick for an ugly-but-horny SOB prick is to not look at him while he grabs your ass. For those of us (alas, not including me) who still maintain a full cock-ball set, the sets get hard and hot. The drooling customer thinks he (sometimes she) was the one who caused this turn-on, but that’s because the grabber didn’t notice that the grabbee was looking across the room to admire another sexy grabbee while their dancing cocks came to full salute at the same time. Now you know one of the stripper trade secrets. Now its time for you – and we – to get to know the now-famous Sara Lee. Just try to guess her secret. She’s the featured dancer tonight. She gets to get wet in the plexiglass punch bowl. She gets squirted with shimmering body paints that turn iridescent under the black lights and strobes. For extra cash, she even gets squirted with whatever you might have in your pants during a private lap dance. So she dances. She splashes. She irradiates. Her VS bikini goes to see-through mode as the over-eager audience strokes to shoot their loads. Then the bikini comes off. And the sea of cocks are ready to get off again. Damn nice tits Sara has there. Her Toronto plastic surgeon is the very best. And the very most expensive – but she didn’t pay the $20 grand for her bouncing beauties, she let one of her BF’s have the honor of picking up that check. Always let the BF pick up the check. They expect you to pick up their pricks, so it is expected for them to pay. Fuck, you can even ditch them quick right after you become a full-breasted bitch, and they won’t bitch a bit. Give them an autographed glossy of their cock giving you a new-tit tit-fuck test drive, showing them giving you a fresh gloss, and they’ll be happy forever that they forked over $50 grand in a month-long fling – that’s about $5,000 per blowjob but they will always know you were worth it. Sorry for the diversion of advice. Meanwhile, Sara is about to peel out of her thong. Nice bulge in there, but is there something wrong? Ever so slowly her sensual gyrations accent the thong descent. Are we about to see another great shemale cock, a cock to get her and you hard as a rock? We’re looking. Exposed is the fleshy temptation where our expectation is for phallic revelation. She’s tugging it down, and something there restrains her thong at her groin. But the genital-level lock is not a cock. Right where it should be is right where it is not. Nice smooth skin, but nothing else in sight. The music has reached a crescendo and she reaches and pulls down some more. The awed audience is collectively holding its breath. Damn dramatic disrobing we have here. With a pop, the thong is gone. We see where the genitals were holding them back. But the genitals are incomplete. A beautiful bag of ripe testicles. Then, spoke the Raven, “Nothing more!” We’ve all seen the cock without balls. Hell, most reading this probably exist in that very state. But balls with no cock! Here’s a show that’s really first rate. Big, bouncy, silky-smooth boobs. Big, bouncy, silky-smooth balls. Big, bouncy, beautiful babe with tits and testicles – and nothing else at all. My entourage of kink has her over for about 20 lap dances. As awesome as she is to see, she is indescribable under your soft caress. After we have given every square (round!) centimeter its tactile tribute, we finally get to notice her angelic face and her angelic voice. The angel tells her story. Twenty years old. Pre-op (tit additions) for three years. Cock subtraction for one year now. Not the usual sequence for SRS – tits and therapy for two years living full time as a woman, then cock-to-cunt construction if all agree on the decision. But the usual sequence was not for Sara. With good Canadian-grade hormones, she was a beautiful babe within six months of the tit job. With good Canadian-grade testosterone constantly keeping her in the mood to give or get a good blow job, she still loved the sexiness that gonads incite when they are free to do the job they were designed for. Most of her shemale GF’s remain happy with the best-of-both-worlds theme – full tits and fully-functioning fully-intact cock and balls. Those that go for genital modification either go for total nullification for the Barbie Doll look, or for full-scrotal castration for the no-ball look, or for cock-ball to cunt reconstruction. Most of Sara’s BF’s begged her to keep the 10-inch ultra-cute cock (we saw the pictures!) along with her gorgeous hacky sack of low hangers. One special BF, however, could tell she wanted (and needed) something different. Off to Thailand. Off with the cock. As I said, the BF paid for it all. He expected to get to keep her cock in return, but Sara said we’ll have to come back next week for that “part” of the story. She loves her bod. She loves her life. Someday with a quick trip to Vermont, she’ll make a good wife. Being as untraditional as untraditional can be, she expects to marry often. Her ultimate dream is to find all the right guys and be a wife, a wife, a wife, and a wife. She remains ultra horny for cock around the clock, although she’s only had one orgasm of her own in the last year. With no cock, there’s nothing to pump up the cum, but when her bouncing balls fill and fill and fill, a good cock-up-the ass occasionally overcomes the no-cock-of-her-own condition. She said her little pee hole just above the balls looks like Old Faithful, spurting a huge geyser of sperm every six months. We say goodbye with loud wolf whistles as we wave goodnight to Sara Lee, the big-titted beauty who Dances With Balls. And, actually no, there is nothing missing in Mississauga – except maybe you. If you’re going to be in Toronto on Tuesdays, you know what to do.
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