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The Capon (Contestant 1) By Xan Jack Winter was a giant in the lucrative field of raunchy TV. The formula for his success had always been piggybacking the ideas of others, by making his shows ten times more filthy and edgy. He knew the game of getting ratings, and the appetite of audiences. Several months ago while contemplating a new show he decided that audiences seemed to be starving for reality TV spiced with competitions, sex, romance, and tabloid plots. There had been that Ugly Ducking thing that had both intrigued and upset viewers, as well as some thrown together special about Eunuchs. He decided to somehow merge the two ideas, up the glamour and human interest element use a few facts and history for a change and come up with a winning show. That’s how The Capon was born, with the help of a platoon of attorneys looking into the legal element, and his own staff doing the rest of the research. The word got out through his other shows and the internet that his media company would review case by case video submissions by legal aged men yearning to be Eunuchs for one compelling reason or another. The idea sparked Jack’s interest, but he wasn’t sure if it would ever be aired. He would remain torn about the show to the bitter end, going ahead with interviews as if the show would become a reality. The premise was that before the series would be started eight contestants would be selected from their video submissions and consequent interviews. Each would eventually be castrated as the cameras rolled. An edited version then would be shared with the world. There would have to be enough background interest to fill in at least a half hour, so each man had to also have some kind of photo-appeal as well as a good reason for the surgery. Finally the viewers would vote for the most attractive, and endearing eunuch who would not only have his dream, but a million dollars. This was to come as a final surprise as they didn’t want men to think they were selling their balls so to speak, as the net was cast out looking for the right men for the series. The response had been surprisingly positive. Of course there were the usual nutcases, and the jilted girl or boyfriend volunteering their ex’s for the show. A production team went through the submissions so Jack only had to evaluate the best of the crop. He decided that with his busy schedule he would look at one or two each day when he had a free moment, leaving the final judgment to his production team. Today was the first time Jack was to watch one of the interviews, and give his ultimate opinion. Jack took a sip of sparking spa water, sat back in his soft calf-skin couch to watch the first possibility. The lights dimmed slightly and the video started: A middle-aged non-descript man stood outside a colonial-style house. “Hi, I’m Roger Ashford and I’m kind of new at this sort of thing, speaking to a camera that is. Anyway I’m a contractor from Iowa, and this is going to be kind of embarrassing to talk about, but I’ve tried every avenue and I’m desperate. You see I’m deadly afraid of dying of prostate cancer, like my Dad, when I was twelve. I have two little girls and I want to be around for them. My wife told me about one of her bunko friends, she plays bunko every Thursday you see; anyway this girlfriend had the same fears and genetic disposition…I think that’s the word… to breast cancer as I have to prostate cancer. She was um, well able to have her breasts removed although she wasn’t actually infected. I went to my Doctor about it and he thought at first I was joking. I told him about my Father and my material Grandfather dying of testicular cancer but he said not to worry, and nothing could be done, even if I get cancer except as a last resort. Well my Dad died two months after being diagnosed, and he went through hell, so I want to do something now while I have time. Well that’s kind of it in a nutshell.” Jack laughed “In a nutshell? Well he’s boring, but I like the cancer prevention angle.” Zack Tatum his Producer agreed. “We can film the wife’s girlfriend and do an aside about woman playing bunko, while discussing their husband’s problems. It might be good to throw in a bit about breasts, with a breast mastectomy, maybe some shots of that procedure, you know to kind of soften the audience up for what they will witness with the men. The Doctor we’re considering for the show does that type of surgery as well” Jack seemed pleased; we’re off to a good start. We’ll definitely consider him, although I don’t think we want breasts and tits in the way of this show’s concentration on the male anatomy. You’re right however; each candidate needs a side-story. Maybe you ought to request that from here on we see the significant other in these video applications as we will be including their families or live-in partners” He put his glass down, I have to fly over to London tonight for a party, so if you’ll excuse me. Jack put down his glass, his mind already on what he had to accomplish during his trans-Atlantic flight. He heard the helicopter warming up above him, which would fly him to his private jet. His final thought was that capon’s couldn’t fly as he left the screening room. |