Carmen and me Chapter 7

“Carmen.”

“Yes Danny”

“Carmen, …why?”

“Because, Danny, it is how it must be. You promised me. You gave yourself to me and I require it of you. Now, no more questions. Let’s go to sleep.

I could not sleep. Ever since I became aware that the deposits at the sperm bank were being made on a more regular basis I had bouts of insomnia. Carmen had a friend there. It was always the same routine. Carmen would lead me into the room and patiently watch while I stripped. She would make me squat over a cup with my relocated urethral right over the cup. Carmen’s friend was petite and she wore a small Brazilian bikini under her business clothes. Whenever I came to make my weekly deposit it was always the same. My sex life had digressed to stripping and squatting over a cup on the table and masturbating to the stimulation of Diedre’s almost naked body.

They giggled while they watched me perform the way that Carmen made me do each visit. Carmen made me wear sweats and sneakers with no socks whe we left home. I had very few other clothes now. I was not allowed anything else. I was allowed just the minimal amount of clothes. Always, I stripped completely when we went into the room. Carmen would remove the ring from my penis. I would be naked and free. I would watch while Carmen’s friend Deidre would strip to her Bikini. She would sit in front of me and put her legs up on the seat of the chair, spreading her legs so that I could see the outline of the lips of her sex as the were separated by the g-string bottom. Her top consisted of strings connected to pieces of cloth that barely covered her areola, while her taunt nipples made tents of the thin cloth. Slowly she would lick her lips.

Today was no different. I watched and fixed my eyes upon Diedre’s sex lips separated by the tiniest of g-string bikini bottoms. Carmen would nod her head and I would start stroking my shaft. I was always hard by the time I had to strip. By the time that Diedre had taken off her clothes and stripped to the bikini I would be furiously masturbating as if I had no pride at all. In truth, I did not.

I finally had accepted my fate and looked forward to the weekly masturbation sessions in front of Carmen, who remained fuly clothed and Diedre, who would strip down to her bikini, which left little to the imagination. Since Diedre shaved her sex lips all I could think of was how good her mound would taste, how good it would feel to grind my bare pelvis into hers while penetrating her to the hilt. I would watch Diedre’s large firm breasts tenting up the thin cloth of the bikini. Every two or three weeks she would slip a finger under her bottoms and join me in masturbation. Several times we had orgasmed together while Carmen would just stand there like a statue, fully clothed, watching our performance.

My imagination would run wild and I would close my eyes, thinking about how good it would feel to enter into her sex. Diedre was always wet watching me beat off, even if she wasn’t touching herself. Carmen seemed to enjoy watching me strain to retain my balance and Diedre aroused by my performance and her own near nudity. Whenever I would cum I would open my eyes and establish eye contact with first one and then the other. It was my way of letting them know that I was surrendering to them completely. I would moan involuntarily when I would ejaculate. I would feel my seed shoot out of my artificial opening just behind my scrotum and fill the cup with several spurts of my seed.

After ejaculating I would feel shame and remorse for having performed in such a manner in front of two beautiful women. I knew that Diedre would like to have me sexually, but all that I could think about was Carmen. It was always the same. This had been going on for 11 months now. It was once a week. I always had to perform the same methodical masturbation procedure and always the same shame that followed it. I had no choice. It was what Carmen demanded of me.

As I lay awake listening to Carmen’s rhythmic breathing I felt secure in my restraints. Besides sleeping in the nude with my ring, what we called my chastity ring, in place I could cum by just thinking about my situation. Carmen, so close. Carmen, with the perfect body and the object of my dreams when I could manage sleep, sleeping naked so close to me. Me, being unable to touch her except in dreams, with only the memory of the short sex life that we shared about 11 months ago. Carmen, who looked me in the eyes one night and told me that she never wanted to have sex with me again because she was through with me sexually, except for having my sex removed. That night I cried like a baby. Her look was cold. Her eyes had lost their warmth. Her soul was frozen with the need to see my sex removed. I could do nothing but cry and consent.

The morning was new with hope and bright sunshine even though it was a cold day in January. Carmen looked at me as we sat at the breakfast table. As customary, I was completely naked and Carmen was fully dressed. After a time of silence devoid of our normal conversation which was customary, Carmen spoke slowly and deliberately.

“Danny, Friday we are flying off to the an area south of the Caribbean. We will be there a month. Diedre is coming with us. At the end of the celebration of Carnival you will have your surgery to remove your dick and balls. It will be something we will all remember.”

I shuddered at her bluntness and her crude language. I only half believed her. I looked down at my hairless body. I was in pretty good shape. I looked up at Carmen and saw the same cold look in her eyes. It was a look that was cold enough to make January seem like July by comparison. Something deep in my mind told me that she wasn’t kidding and that she was serious. She continued.

“I have seen how you look at Diedre. I have also seen how you look back at her. I know that you would fuck her the first chance that you got if I would allow it because you are a worthless male who mistakes sex for love. Well, if you love me you will let me have your sex removed completely. That is how it will be. Then I can be sure that you don’t want me just for sex.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. My time was coming. It was the time that I longed for and dreaded at the same time. The time that I would be relieved of my sexual appetite permanently was about a month off. I would miss the orgasms, but maybe Carmen would allow me to have a little more freedom. I didn’t really want it though. After all, I had the freedom of being with her. That was enough.

The week passed quickly. Carmen had packed our clothes and made the necessary arrangements and secured the tickets. We had gotten our passports the month previously. We awoke about 5 AM on Friday. Diedre came to our place and Carmen and her engaged in small talk while I remained silent. Diedre’s knowing look caused a funny feeling of helplessness in the pit of my stomach. I felt like a small child who had to be exhibited naked before a room full of people.

It was so strange that just her look could do this to me. I had clothes on. I had on just as much as I was allowed to wear. Carmen had thrown all of my underwear away months ago and I had gotten used to the feeling of my sex gently swaying with my walking and sort of flopping when I had to run for a short distance. I had never gotten used to being without body hair, however. I tried to keep my bare ankles covered so that it would not be noticed that there was no hair on my legs. I think that it was that that bothered me the most.

Soon, we were all in the car. Carmen and Diedre were in the front seat and I was made to ride in the back. Upon arriving at the airport we put the car into long-term parking and made our way to the air terminal. Soon we were 30,000 feet high leaving the winter and heading south. We were heading south to my sexless fate and to the warmth of southern climes. I felt very lucky to be seated between two such beautiful women, even though I knew what was expected of me before we were to return. I felt melancholy because I knew that my life was never going to be the same but I felt happy that I was with Carmen whom I loved and Diedre for whom was slowly beginning to feeling a strong sexual attraction.

I dozed off into a troubled sleep dreaming of laying tied and naked in front of a large group of beautiful women while men in g-strings served them food and drinks. I felt helpless and like I was going to be the object of a show or demonstration of some sort.

To be continued.