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I can't begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have such tolerant, understanding, and loving parents. I came out to them on my fourteenth birthday on May 23. I wasn't sure how they would react when I told them, but I didn't expect them to accept it so calmly as they did. Mom said that she was sorry that I wouldn't be giving them any grandchildren. Dad commented "Well, Hazel, there's a solution to that, you know. You're only 33 years old, after all." "You would think of that, Larry. You men are all alike." "I'm not.." I commented. Both of them laughed. That's how it was, easy and accepting. They both love me and my sexual orientation doesn't matter. Dad told Mom that he'd like to have a man-to-man talk with me, so she went out into the kitchen. "Son, you're going to have a hard row to hoe. Society doesn't view gays very kindly, even though progress toward tolerance has been made. To me, anyhow, it's not at all certain that you won't develop an interest in the opposite sex yet. You're still very young. At your age, I preferred guys, and I was scared sick about it. Gradually, I became more and more interested in girls until my interest in the fair sex so overshadowed my attraction to males that there was no contest That might yet happen to you. I'm going to assume, though, that you are indeed going to remain homosexual and will not develop any serious attraction to females. If so, you'll have to find some way to cope with society's disapproval and retain your self-respect. . Never let anybody make you feel unworthy, vile, or base.I can see three ways of dealing with this: remain in the closet, that is don't come out to anybody but us, pretend to be straight, and keep your sexual orientation to yourself and try to repress it. That means living a double life, living a lie. It is very stressful and it seldom works. Besides, it is corrosive to your self-esteem. The opposite extreme, of course, is to be openly, blatantly gay, with an "in your face" attitude. That is a good way to get killed or maimed by gay-bashers. Even other gays find such a person abrasive and, at best, tiresome. The third approach would be not to make an issue of it. Don't try hard to hide it but don't advertise it. If someone finds out you're gay, so be it. I think that approach makes the most sense, but it still leaves you prone to gay bashing. There's only one way to deal with gay bashing: fight back. I think you should get instruction in self-defense." "You mean martial arts" I asked. "No" said Dad. "Karate, Kung Fu, Tae Kwan Do, etc. all look very impressive in the movies, but they are useless in a street fight. Forget about Bruce Lee and Sammy Chan movies. That's cinema, that's not life.You'll notice that in a movie, when a gang of, say, five thugs confront the martial arts expert, only one of them sctually fights him. The rest just dance around acting menacing. Well, what do you think would happen in reality ?" "They'd all gang up on him at once, of course." " Of course. And all those fancy roundhouse kicks work in the movies because everyone gives the martial arts expert plenty of room to make his moves. In a street fight, he'd have to defend himself in very close quarters. Have you ever heard of Paul Vunack.?" I shook my head. "He teaches street fighting, rough dirty street fighting, no fancy ballet moves. He has a set of videotapes for sale. I'll get them for you." " Thanks, Dad." "Hey, you're my son and I love you. I don't want you beaten to death or castrated by a bunch of homophobic thugs." We finished our man-to-man talk by hugging each other. Dad had given me plenty to think about. I would never have imagined that he had once had gay tendencies as a teenager, for example.A couple of days later, Dad spoke to me again about my gayness. "I've heard of a summer camp for gay boys called Camp Ganymede where they teach gay boys not to be ashamed of their orientation and how to protect themselves against gay bashers I looked it up on the Internet and printed out what I could find. Read it and let me know what you think of it." The camp was run by a staff of gay eunuchs, all victims of gay-bashing, and no pedophiles, guaranteed. The emphasis was to be on building up a gay boy's self-image and self esteem and making able to cope with ridicule, hostility, and violence. They could accomodate 160 boys.It sounded like a pretty damned good idea to me, and I told Dad so. He contacted their web site and enrolled me for this summer's 6-week session. In the meantime, Paul Vunack's street fighting course arrived on two VHS tapes. WOW! I soon realized that you don't have to be a trained athlete or a big bruiser to use it. Of course, there's a lot of dirty fighting in it, but I agree that , if you're up against a dirty fighter, you can't afford to pay any attention to the Marquis of Queensbury. You can't defend yourself against a dirty fighter by following the rules of good sportsmanship. Street fighting isn't sport; it's lethal combat. There's nothing in his course that an average man can't do. I had plenty of time to study it before I left for Camp Ganymede. Camp Ganymede occupies the site of a former resort in the Adirondacks. It's a lovely location, very secluded, very private. Public transportation doesn't get very close to it, so we drove up.On the first day there was an orientation lecture for the parents first, and after they had left, for the boys. Silas Barnes, the founder, owner, and operator of the camp spoke first. "My name is Silas Barnes. I founded this camp 21 years sgo to help other gay boys not to have to endure what I suffered. Our entire staff is made up of gay eunuchs. There are no pedophiles here. All of us are victims of gay-bashing. All of us have lost our manhood to gay-bashers, so we are very sympathetic to gay boys and we are all strongly motivated to help them to cope with their gayness and to avoid our tragic fate. When I came out to my father, he was very upset and didn't speak to me for a week. Then, he said that he was taking me to the doctor to see what could be done to cure me. That was a subterfuge to get me into the hands of a surgeon. The surgeon ,on the pretext of relaxing my body to make it easier to examine my sex organs, gave me a powerful tranquilizer which made me helpless. Then he castrated me. He also cut the pudendal nerve, depriving my penis of all feeling. Two years later, I reported him to the board of medical examiners for malpractise.He had faked records alleging testicular cancer, but there was no justification for the pudendal nerve resection. I collected $500,000 from his malpractise insurance. The next year, I inherited a large fortunme from my maternal mgrandfather, and I used much of this money to buy this resort and open this camp. Next, let me inreoduce Dr.Kenneth Woodbury, our resident physician and surgeon ." "Thank you, Mr. Barnes. When I came out to my parents at age 16, they made it very clear to me that they were not going to have 'one of those' in our family. I could either get out of the house and never communicate with them again, or I could allow myself to be nullified. i.e., have my entire external genitalia removed. I was weak.I had been the pampered child of wealth and had never learned anything to qualify myself for gainful employment. I begged them not to do this to me, but Father was adamant. Either comply with their wishes, or...I knew the alternative. I allowed myself to be taken to Mexico where the operation was performed. Somehow, after my mutilation, I grew a backbone. I never spoke to either of my parents again and, at 18, I walked out of the house, determined somehow to make my own way in the world. I worked my way through college, the State University, where the tuition for residents was low, and got a scholarship to Harvard Medical School. Mr. Hardy is next." "My name is Brock Hardy. I teach self-defense, the kind of fighting that guy needs to defend himself against a gang of brutal gay-bashers. I wish I'd had this kind of training in my teens. I got picked on I high school, where the word quickly got around that I was queer. I'm sure that you can imagine how hard mit is for a gay boy to hide the fact that he's sexually aroused in the shower room.My body betrayed me, and as I said, it wasn't long before everybody knew. Somehow, I got through high school without getting beaten up . I didn't go to college, my grades weren't good enough. I got a job in a garage and tried to hide my interest in guys, but too many people knew about it. One day, I closed the garage in the evening, being the last out, and went out to the parking lot to get into my car. A bunch of bikers met me there and started dissing me. They got between me and my car and began beating up on me. They called me every dirty name for a gay that there is. They shoved me up against the wall of the garage and began taking turns kneeing me and punching me in the groin. I screamed in agony, but they kept it up until I was completely ruined. I've been impotent ever since. Then, when it was too late, I took a course in street fighting and learned what to do in any further attacks. So, I'm here to pass that knowledge on to your kids so that they don't have to go through what I did. Over to you, Kevin." " My name is Kevin Willis, I'm a psychologist. My job is to counsel the boys and try to raise their self-esteem. I try especially to coach them on how to handle themselves in sticky social situations and to defuse possible confrontations. I wasn't lucky enough to get through high school unscathed. I was pretty obviously gay, rather swishy. One day, I discovered that I'd left my calculator in my locker after my PE class, so I went down to the locker room to get it. The football team had just coime in from practise and most of them were naked. I'd had often daydreamed about some of these guys, and seeing them like that turned me on. I got an obvious erection which did not go unnoticed. Before I could beat a hasty retreat, they surrounded me, pulled down my briefs, bent me over and began to gang-rape me. Thirteen of the men who were there had their way with me. To this day, I don't know where the coach was. The fourteenth called me a faggot and kicked me in the groin with his shin, crushing my sex organs against the pelvis, ruining me for life.Football, of course, was important. The whole affair got hushed up. I got little support from my parents and none from anyone else. I decided in college to major in psychology and try to help other gays." After our parents had left, it was our turn to receive orientation. Mr, Barnes was brief. "You will not learn this summer how to make a macramé belt or a leather sheath for a hunting knife. You will learn to respect yourselves, hold your heads up, and face the world without shame. No one here cares if you have sex with each other, as long as it's voluntary. Rape will get you shipped home by the fastest means available. Consensual sex of whatever kind you prefer is alright with us.We have a dress code here. You may not wear the clothes you came here in. If you wear any clothing, which you need not unless you wish to, it must be a Camp Ganymede T-shirt and/or Camp Gaymede shorts . Unless your feet have very tough soles, tennis shoes or jogging shoes are advisable. There are four 40-man dormitories and each has a counsellor, a 18-25 year old gay eunuch. who will help you in any way he can. Meals are held in the Dining Hall and will be announced by a bell. We continue to serve food for 1/2 hour after the bell.Lights Out is at 10:00 PM. You are expected to be in your own bed for the bed check You need not remain there afterward. The day's schedule is announced at breakfast. You are expected to attend all lectures and demonstrations. You'll still have plenty of time for fun. When you arrived, you were given literature about the camp and program and a card with a number on it. That is your dorm number. If you have lost it or thrown it away, check with me." My dorm number was 3. The counsellor proved to be a huge black man who resembled a gone-to-seed athlete. He introduced himself, told us a bit about himself and explained the layout of the dorm. "My name is Alvyn Brown. I'm 21, gay and I have no balls. My old man found out that I'm gay from some nosy neighbor when I was 18. He confronted me about it and I admitted it. Without another word, he shoved me up against the wall and started kneeing me. By the third time, my nuts were totally smashed and my dick was crushed, but he kept on doing it until Momma yelled at him 'For Gods sake Elroy, stop it. You're killing him.' Just before I passed out I heard him say ' What difference do that make. He nuthin' but a fuckin' fairy." I came to in the hospital and they told me my balls were gone and I'd never get a boner again.. My old man was in jail. I ain't never seen him again. My room's at the other end of the dorm. The shithouse and showers are at this end. As you walk in, I'm going to hand out bunk numbers. There's a locker by each bunk with the same number. Put your street clothes in there. If you want a T-shirt and shorts to wear, you can get 'em at the building marked 'Clothing" You don't need to wear anything unless you want to. It gets cool at night, though. You might want a T-shirt and shorts to wear after supper. You don't have to make your bed or clean the dorm. We have a maintenance staff for that. Any questions ? " "Yeah" said a skinny lkatin-looking kid. "Is it true that we can do anything we want to with each other as long as it's consensual ?" "Yep. Kissing, groping, mutual jacking off, frottage, cocksucking, buttfucking, you name it." "What the fuck is frottage ? " "You may know it as rub-off or slick-leg, or the collegiate fuck, or the Princeton fuck. It's just rubbing your dicks against each other or between each other's thighs, until you cum. Like jacking off, it's safe sex because there's no penetration." I had taken off my clothes and underwear while this discussion was going on and I noticed a beautiful blond boy standing by the next bunk with an obvious hardon sticking out of his boxer shorts. I threw a rod immediately. So I walked up to him slowly maintaining eye contact with him. He was staring to tremble when I took him in my arms and kissed him. We groped each other. He asked me my name. "Jason Longman" I replied. "Fits", he answered. "You sure are long where it counts" "From what I can see, not enough, you're no slouch yourself." I pulled down his boxer shorts and laid my cock alongside his. We were equal. We kissed again and started jacking each other off, completely ignoring the other 38 boys and Alvyn Brown. Both of us were loaded for bear and our male guns went off at the same time, so that we shot all over each other. When we were done I asked "Hey, what's your name ?" "Eric Thorsson" "Swedish ?" "No, Icelandic." "I might have known with that golden hair and those beautiful cornflower blue eyes. You're gorgeous, Eric." "You're so beautiful, Jason" Finally, we looked around. There were 19 other nude couples doing what they enjoyed best. I could see that I was going to enjoy the next six weeks. Eric went down to the Clothing depot to get shorts and a T-shirt, but he wore only the shorts with no underwear and had gotten the shortest inseam available. A good 2 inches of his dick hung out of the left leg. It was very teasing and provocative.I preferred to go naked and , even in the cool of evening, I wore nothing for 6 weeks. I did pick up shorts and a T-shirt for appearences' sake when I went home, but I never wore them. One kid in our dorm always wore shorts and T-shirt and underwear. He was very shy and very modest. It was obvious that he didn't even like being naked in the shower.His name was Lewis Stevens, never Louie, always Lewis. He never touched anyone else and didn't want to be touched by anyone else. He spent a lot of time in a toilet stall in the john, presumably jacking off. If so, he did it 7 or 8 times a day, but was very careful never to let anyone see him do it. I never heard him use a dirty word. However, I often saw him with a boner pushing his shorts out. It wasn't very conspicuous because, as I'd seen momentarily in the shower, his dick was very small.He also blushed a lot. I think he was very uncomfortable among all these blatant gays. He seemed neither to have any friends nor to want them. He had a curiously formal and old-fashioned manner of speaking. I began to wonder if, by any chance, he was mildly autistic.It would explain a lot. I have a friend in high school with Asperger's syndrome and Lewis reminded me of him.We were all enjoying oursaelves, and he was so inhibited that he seemed to want no part of it The rest of us were so relieved to be able to be ourselves and as gay as we wanted to be that we went hog-wild for the first 2 weeks or so.Although I was crazy about Eric.and didn't want to hurt him, I wanted to sample some of the other studs and bottoms in the dorm. I spoke to him about it seriously and found that, though he wasn't interested in being promiscuous, he really didn't mind if I was. "Just save some cum for me, Jason." he said with that winsome grin of his. I kissed him and took him at his word. I was so sorry for poor nutless Alvyn with his ruined dick. We were having fun and he couldn't do a thing. He must be even more miserable than Lewis. One evening after Lights Out, I went into Alvyn's room. He was lying on top of his bunk, naked, stroking his huge limp dick, a good nine inches, soft though it was. "How can I help you ?" he asked. "Could you enjoy it if I sucked your cock ?" "Well, it would feel good, but, you know I can't cum without balls." "I'd like to do that for you, Alvyn. We're all having fun and you don't get any sex." "Well, you know that's how it is when you're a eunuch." "Still, I'd like to blow you." " OK, feel free." I went down on him, lying atop his once-muscular body and sucked his cock. while I was doing so, he took my dick into his mouth and began returning the favor. Soon he was moaning and sighing as I sucked his flabby soggy penis. I wanted him to enjoy it, and it was clear that he did. I held back my own orgasm as long as I could. Finally, though, my balls jumped up and unloaded themselves. Alvyn moaned and sucked like a vacuum cleaner, draining my teeming nuts. Then he picked me up, turned me around, and kissed me. I could taste my own jism in his mouth "Another time" said he, "Could you do me a big favor ?." "Sure", I said, what is it ?" "Buttfuck me. I still have a prostate gland and I can still get an orgasm that way." "Why not now. ? " "No, I have to take testosterone for a few days to get my prostate working again and be able to have an orgasm. Next Thursday, I should be ready." "ALL RIGHT !" I replied. Kevin Willis gave us a lecture the next day on "Hate Crimes" in which he put gay-bashing in perspective. "I know that some of you have been a bit uneasy about the sheer brutality of the training which Mr. Hardy has given you. All of you, whatever society may think are decent kids and you have been brought up in the traditions of fair play and sportsmanship. But, you aren't dealing with people who subscribe to those values when you are victimized by gay bashers. "But doesn't that make us as bad as they are" you ask. NO ! I know that Jesus preached turning the other cheek, but I don't think I'm being either irreverent or blasphemous when I point out what following that course brought to him: crucifixion and death. For the Son of God, about to offer himself as a sacrifice for mankind's sins, that was appropriate, but you're in no such exalted position. If you are attacked by gay-bashers, you are about to become the victim of a hate crime. I hope that any Jews among you will not think that I am belittling Anti-Semitic atrocities as hate crimes when I say that I think that gay-bashing is as evil a hate crime as anti-Semitism.. Jews have been blamed for the cricifixion of the Christ, which was done by Romans. They have been blamed for usury into which they were forced by Christians who were forbidden to lend money at interest. But, what are gays held accountable for ? Some homophobes claim that we are pedophiles. A few of us are. As many straights are pedophiles also, however, so that's no ground for hating us.What harm do we do ? Who can honestly claim that he has been harmed by us ? Yet we are brutally mistreated merely because of our sexual inclinations and practises which harm no one else. Gay-bashing is purely a hate crime, and you have a right to defend yourselves against it. You don't deserve the things they say about you or the things they do to you. You have a right to defend yourselves in whatever way the situation calls for. You can't meet hate-motivated brutality with soft words.Don't feel ashamed to counter brutality with brutality. Your lives and your manhood are at stake." I already knew most of what Brock Hardy taught us and the order of presentation was so similar to that in Paul Vunack's videos that I asked him if he'd studied under Paul Vunack. He assured me that he had. He was pleased to hear that I had the videos and mentioned them to the class.the next time we met. By the third week, most of us had paired up with a steady lover. Of course, Eric was mine. The one who had no lover, of course was Lewis, who looked more dour than ever.A few fellows were still flitting from boy to boy like butterflies. There was less "public" outdoor sex than there had been also. Most of it went on in the dorms at might. Still, none of us but Lewis ever went without sex. Eric didn't like being buttfucked, but I do. We usually sixty-nined first, then we indulged in some frottage, and then he would buttfuck me.. I told him about my appointment with Alvyn, but it wasn't depriving him of anything he wanted, so he didn't mind. Thursday came and, after Lights Out. I went into Alvyn's room. He was trembling with lust. We kissed and groped each other for a while and then, Alvyn anointed my rod with K-Y ointment and bent over. I held him by the hips and slowly inserted my slick tool into his asshole. He moaned and trembled. I could feel his prostate gland in there, about the size of a walnut and actually quivering I began rubbing the head of my dick back and forth over it, but Alvyn said "You'll make me cum too fast that way Push it in all the way. Just the shaft rubbing on it as you fuck will be all the stimulation I need." So, I did and then settlrred down to slow, easy fucking. Alvyn sighed, gasped, and moaned. He was trembling all over. I asked if I was doing it right and he assured that my technique was perfect .Because I was fucking very slowly, I could enjoy the sensation without bringing on my own orgasm too soon. I could feel that Alvyn was tensing up. He said "I'm close; I'm gonna cum very soon.Pull back now and work on my prostate gland with the head of your dick. I knew that that would probably bring both of us off. I hoped that it'd be nearly simultaneously. I started rubbing his prostate gland with the head of my dick and suddenly, Alvyn said "Now, hard and fast." As I did so, his sphincter tightened spasmodically, squeezing my disk and bringing me close to my own climax. Suddenly, Alvyn cried out and shot his clear spermless cum right across the room to splatter on the opposite wall. That did it for me. I matched him spurt for spurt. flooding his gut with my thick lumpy cum. Alvyn was obviously in the throes of a powerful orgasm, and so was I.. This was the best orgasm I'd had so far. We agreed to meet again during the last week of the program. During the weekemd before the last week, Lewis was absent from the dorm. When he returned, he seemed different. There were three eunuchs in our dorm and, Lewis went over to them and talked to them, most unusual for him. I asked one of them, Marvin whose mother had had him castrated him while he was visiting her, about Lewis's visit. "He's one of us eunuchs, now." said Marvin. I learned that Lewis had with him a notarized release from his parents authorizing him to be castrated if he couldn't adjust to his homosexuality. He had made no progress in accepting himself and finally, Dr. Woodbury had agreed to castrate him. For the last week of the program, Lewis seemed much happier and even more outgoing than he had been. Alvyn and I met again for a reprise of our previous session, and the program began to wind down. Eric and I enjoyed each other as often as possible and agreed to keep in touch and meet during vacations, if we could arrange it. I guess that I had benefitted from the program because Mom and Dad found me more mature and more self-confident thasn before. I didn't hesitate to introduce Eric to them as my lover and they accepted them as if he were another son. If you have a gay son who is having trouble adjusting to it, I'd sujjest you look up Camp Ganymede. |