|
I guess im lucky in a way. All the other guys were killed when our chopper was shot down October 14, 1967. Somehow i was just badly bruised.i tried to get back to our lines but a VC patrol captured me. I expected to be shot on the spot but they pushed me along with them. After about an hour we reached an underground bunker and what appeared to be an officer spoke to the patrol and i was thrown into a small room. i wasnt harmed but of course i had no idea what to expect. After a few hours i was taken out and brought to another room-inside were two women and a man.They motioned me to undress-the man had a pistol and for a second i thought of trying to overpower him but i realized id be dead-too many others and i didnt really know where i was.I did as i was told and undressed. Suddenly one of the women jabbed me with some kind of needle and almost immediately i fely dizzy- they then placed me on a table and started talking to each other-unintelligible to me of course.I felt some tugging on my genitals and suddenly a sharp but not unbearable pain..I must have passed out. i woike up-i dont know how much later- and i was in a small clearing in the jungle.My pants had been put back on-no shirt or shoes.i felt a dull pain in my groin but i didnt understand what had been done.i somehow managed to get back near our lines and i was found by South Vietnamese patrol. At the hospital i was told the truth-my scrotum had been severed and of course along with it my testicles were gone.The dr tried his best to be positive but the shock of it overwhelmed me. i was back home within 3 weeks. i still recall the shock of seeing my penis-limp and no balls or sack. I never was able to tell my girlfriend what happened and we soon broke up. My sexual desires faded away slowly but totally and they are now a dim memory.Ive made a good life for myself- friends but of course no partner.Ive managed to stay somewhat in shape although ive tended to weight and some breast growth.My penis is that of a childs. I tried HRT some years ago but it made me anxious and my penis had shrunk by then. All in all i guess im lucky-my buddies are all dead- and i guess given a choice they would prefer to be like me-alive but with no balls. Sometimes i wonder why they deballed me instead of killing me- perhaps cruelty or perhaps mercy.ill let you decide. thanks for reading. |